Chapter 8
Sam tried and tried to get to sleep. Her mind was reeling with thoughts about Jack and their newly permitted relationship. She tried different positions and drifted off a couple of times only to be awakened by another train of thought that hadn't occurred to her earlier. She would look at the clock each time, moan and try to sleep again. The last time she looked at the clock it read 2:12 am. She decided to quit fighting sleep and started down to look at the tree. She thought maybe it would help to calm her and turn her thoughts toward something less troublesome. Her thoughts of Jack were happy, but the logical, problem solving part of her brain kept coming up with scenarios that could be complicated by her new relationship and she was unable to bring resolution to most of them without speaking to Jack first.
As she approached the landing on the second floor, she noticed Jack sitting on the couch under the window, staring out at the snow falling.
"I guess you really can't get enough of watching the snow fall," she said quietly as she approached and he turned to greet her, looking more tired than she felt.
"Yeah, well, it's different when it's Christmas and I feel 'this' relaxed," he said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Having trouble sleeping?" she asked as she sat down beside him, concern etched on her face.
"You too, eh?" he replied, reaching his hand out to caress her cheek.
"Well, you know how I am when my brain refuses to shut down," she said, shrugging her shoulders slightly.
"Yeah, well, I think you're beginning to rub off on me," he said with a smile, "and that's not a bad thing. It's just not good for sleeping."
"What's keeping you up?" she asked after she realized he wasn't going to say anything else.
"Well, I've been thinking a lot since this morning...ok, yesterday morning," he said, correcting himself. "General Hammond gave us quite a gift and I don't want to blow it," he said and paused. Sam waited patiently for him to continue. "I've gone over a lot of things in this old head of mine and I have come to a conclusion. I was going to wait for the right time to say this, but I think maybe the right time is now. I want you to listen carefully to what I'm going to say. I don't want to put any pressure on you one way or the other. I want you to take as much time as you need to consider the consequences and I don't expect an immediate response, understand?" He paused to scrutinize her face, hoping for a signal that she understood. Her brow furrowed with confusion and concern, but she nodded to him because she wanted him to continue. She was half afraid of what he was going to say.
"I have loved you for a very long time. I tried not to, God knows I tried not to," he said and she smiled at the sincerity displayed on his face. "Now, I've been given the green light to love you and it scares me because for the first time in a long time, I have an awful lot to lose. I can see so many ways this relationship can go and there is only one way I want it to go. So, Samantha," he said softly, reaching out to take her hand and sliding off the couch to kneel on his better knee, "I would be honored if you would consider becoming my wife..."
"Yes," she said, tears beginning to form in her eyes as she cut the rest of his speech short, and pulled him off his knees as both stood and gazed into the other's eyes.
"But, you really need to think about this Sam," he protested. "I mean, this is the rest of our lives. I'm not getting any younger, have you considered that?" She silenced him with a finger to his lips, as she fought to keep her tears from spilling over.
"Jack, did you just ask me if I have thought something through?" she asked as her control returned. "Normally you are accusing me of thinking too much," she said and grinned as he rolled his eyes. Then they both became more serious as she continued. "I have been doing nothing but thinking about this since we got those letters. You and I have spent the past four years together denying what we feel. We've seen the best and the worst of each other and the feelings have not changed. If anything, mine have grown stronger and deeper. This relationship could be used against us in so many ways. We could be reassigned, one of us could be injured or have to leave the SGC for some other reason. We don't know what the future holds in store for us, but we have been given an opportunity and as you said we shouldn't squander it. I think we are stronger together and that we can face whatever comes together, but only if we are secure in our relationship. I think that security requires a commitment. I had already thought it through and I was just hoping like hell you were not backing out."
"Me, backing out?" he asked, acting indignant. "No way! If you are foolish enough to want to attach yourself to an aging..."
"Shhh..." she said as she reached up to silence his rant with a kiss. They kissed long and deep, pressing their bodies together, caressing necks, shoulders, backs, waists...
As the kiss ended both found themselves struggling to slow their breathing and lessen the pounding of their hearts. "When?" Sam asked, more a whisper than a question.
"What?" asked Jack, confused by her question.
"When do you want to get married?" she asked as they both sank back onto the couch.
"Oh, well, I hadn't gotten past waiting for your answer," he said shrugging slightly. "This week seems good."
Sam's eyes grew large and she exclaimed, "This week?"
"Yeah, what...? Is that too soon for you? We could do it on New Year's Eve, you know start out the new year together."
Sam's brow furrowed slightly as she considered his suggestion. "It's not too soon for me. I think starting the new year out together is a great idea. I'm just wondering if we can pull it off."
"What's to pull off? When are we going to have this much time off again? We can take a honeymoon later when we get another little vacation. Dad's loft seems like a great place to spend the last few days of this vacation. You can call your brother. We can call General Hammond; perhaps he'll get a hold of Dad for us. Everyone else we need is already here, aren't they? Is there someone else you want at your wedding that I'm missing?"
Sam considered his statement and smiled. "No, there's no one else...with the exception of Dad, Mark and General Hammond, everyone who matters is already here. You're right, let's do it."
"You're sure? Because, I don't want to rush you. I know this is your first time and I want you to have the wedding you want..."
"As long as you're there, the wedding will be perfect," Sam said interrupting him again.
They continued talking until they noticed the snow had stopped falling and the light of a new day began peeking through the window. They headed down to the kitchen and started making breakfast for everyone. The smell of bacon, eggs, coffee and hash browns roused everyone from their slumber about an hour later. When everyone had taken their seats and had been served, Jack stood up and clinked a fork against his juice glass.
Sam rolled her eyes slightly, grinning and finding the table rather interesting as Jack began to speak. "Excuse the interruption," he said as all eyes but Sam's turned to look intently at him. "But I wanted you all to be the first to know..." He looked at Sam, who still hadn't taken her eyes off the table. "Sam and I are getting married on Monday and you're all invited."
Sam looked up to see wide eyed expressions on the faces of all. Daniel was the first to recover and ask where.
"We aren't sure yet," said Sam, with a sheepish grin on her face.
"How about the church we attended on Christmas Eve?" asked Janet.
"I don't know, what do you think, Helen?" Sam asked.
Helen finally closed her mouth and blinked a couple of times as her brain finally recovered from Jack's announcement and caught up with the conversation. "I'm sure it will be fine, but I will call the Pastor today and check on it for you."
"Great!" Sam exclaimed and turned to check with Jack, giving him an inquiring look.
"Yeah, thanks, Helen," Jack added to let Sam know he was fine with the location.
"Oh, and we won't be joining you guys on the hill today. We have some shopping to do and some phone calls to make..." Sam said as she began to make a mental list.
"Yeah, and we'd really like you all to stand up with us at the wedding," Jack added when he realized Sam had retreated to her thoughts.
"Oh, yes, please, Janet, Cassie will you be my bridesmaids?" Sam asked which caused Cassie to squeal her consent as she jumped up to give Sam a hug.
"I think that's a yes," said Daniel, chuckling at Cassie's excitement. "Jack, I would be honored to stand with you," he continued, his expression serious but happy.
"I, too, would be honored to stand with you, O'Neill," said Teal'c, "but I will need instruction in the duties that are expected of me."
"Don't worry, Teal'c," said Daniel, "I'll tell you everything you need to know."
"Well, I don't know that we need to go skiing today," said Janet. "I mean, we have several days to choose from and perhaps we can be of more help with the arrangements. I don't want to be in the way, but there are a lot of things to do even for a small wedding and I would be happy to help in any way I can."
"Yeah, we would all like to help...especially in picking out something to wear," said Cassie as she took her seat again.
"Oh, jeez, I hadn't really given much thought to that yet," said Sam, suddenly feeling quite overwhelmed.
"Well, let's sit down and make a list of things you do want and then we can delegate the tasks," suggested Janet.
Before the day was done, the church had been booked, the pastor had agreed to perform the ceremony, the license had been purchased, flowers had been ordered, a photographer had been booked (a dear friend of Helen's who agree to take pictures for a small fee and just give the film to Sam and Jack to have it developed), an organist was booked and phone calls to both Mark and General Hammond had been made. The General promised to send a message to the Tok'ra to inform Jacob of the plans.
