Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay! The holidays made it very difficult to get the time to write. I hope you all enjoy this new chapter and all the feels. Thank you to everyone that reviewed last chapter as well as everyone that has added me and my story to their follow/favorite lists! you are all amazing!
Chapter Eight
"Most of you probably don't know this, but when I first met Kevin Ryan we didn't really get along too well. I thought he was a boy scout; a scrawny pale Irishman with an odd sense of humor. I figured there was no way we would ever work well together; too different." Javier paused and looked out over the gathered group of people. He scanned the crying, sullen, and stone faces of the many people who had come to mourn the loss of his best friend.
"We bickered for the entire first two weeks of our partnership, but one day he took a bullet across the arm for me….me the person who was just inches away from putting in for a partner transfer. That was the day that I finally saw who Kevin Ryan truly was." The Hispanic detective felt his emotions slipping so he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. When Javier opened them again his sight connected with the front row, containing Lanie, Kate, Rick, and Kevin's family. He looked from one face to the next while he continued.
"A brave, selfless, wisecracking, stubborn man who would do anything for the people he cared about. Kevin Ryan was the finest detective, partner, and friend I have ever met…and will ever meet again. He made everyone around him a better person and his memory will forever stay with us." Javier's voice caught in his throat as tears welled in his usually warm eyes. "I'm so sorry Kev. It's my fault…I couldn't protect you like you did for me so many times. I owe you my life more times than I can count and when you really needed me…I wasn't there fast enough." Esposito took a shaky breath, a tear sliding down his face. He tried to keep his emotions in check but when Javier's gaze landed on Jenny holding Sarah Grace the detective lost his control.
"I'm so sorry." Javier's broken voice sounded just before he turned his back to the funeral and started briskly walking away.
Lanie began to rise from her seat, but Jenny's soft hand halted her progress. "Let him go. He needs time alone. This is really difficult for him."
The medical examiner was yet again amazed at how well Jenny was holding herself together. She was a woman who just lost her husband but she exuded a strength no one expected from the normally soft spoken woman. Without another word Lanie lowered herself back down and watched her boyfriend retreat further away. She was so caught up that the first gunshot from the ceremony startled her, making her look at the source of the noise. When Lanie's gaze returned to where she just saw Javier he was gone.
The newspaper dropped heavily on the wooden table's surface, but it wasn't the noise that was attention grabbing, it was the headline. The front page, in large bold black letters, read: 'The city mourns together after the shocking death of NYPD detective Kevin Ryan'.
"I told you they'd believe it. You should have more faith in me Kev." Damon Calder said in a joyous and taunting voice as he sat down, lifted his dirt-covered boots on the table, and began cutting slices of an apple with his military knife.
Kevin didn't acknowledge his smug captor but instead couldn't keep his eyes off the pictures of his own funeral stamped in ink. The young detective felt an overwhelming feeling of grief and hopelessness wash over him as his mesmerizing blues eyes swept over the picture with his wife and daughter.
Calder smirked. "Yeah I'm not sure I would have gone with that picture either, but you know how the media is: always dramatic."
Kevin cleared his throat, hoping to remove the burning that had settled, before speaking. "That's not it at all. I'm just amazed you can actually read a newspaper. Where did you dig this up anyways? Have you heard of technology or is the internet a little too difficult for your obviously minuscule intellect to understand?"
Damon's nostrils flared in furry, but he swiftly smothered his anger and smiled. Not wanting Kevin to have the upper hand he spoke evenly. "You should have heard Javier's eulogy. He really seemed to have cared about you, but I suppose he was always good at the show. A master at making people trust him and believe he's their friend before stabbing them in the back. Honestly, you should be thanking me for saving you from his inevitable betrayal."
Kevin's head snapped up and he glared intensely. "Javier Esposito is a better man than you could ever hope to be!"
Damon's boots smacked loudly against the floor as he leaned in close. "Is that right? Do good men…better men make it a habit of saving someone's life just to turn right around and condemn them to death? Do they lure people into trusting them and the moment they hear something they might not fully agree with switch their loyalty, without so much as a thought?! He didn't even try to talk to me. NO he just turned his back on his friends…his unit and never looked back!"
Detective Ryan held his ground. "It sounds to me that Javi did the right thing. The Javier I know wouldn't have turned his back on anyone, let alone his unit, unless there was something immoral going on. Though, I find it funny that you don't really mention any of your own wrong doings. You just perpetuate this thought that Javier betrayed you. Esposito saved your life; that's what you said, but I really can't see how keeping you alive, like a teammate should, is cause for such hatred."
Damon slowly stood from his chair and glared at Kevin, trembling in his rage. In that moment Ryan knew he pushed a bit too far. The detective's throat tightened and his heart hammered against his rib cage with a panic while the restraints holding him firmly to the chair seemed to tighten further with every step Calder took.
Light flashed over the dark blade of Damon's military knife still grasped in his rough palm. "Perhaps you are not in the position to judge me or my actions, Detective? Like a little…cornered…bunny. I'm the predator here, not you. Look around. You're mine! Everything that happens to you from now until the end of your miserable life is going to be determined by me.
Ryan cried out as his hair was yanked to the side, exposing his neck, and straining the muscles. Panicked eyes slid closed as the cold of Damon's blade appeared against his pale skin; heart shuttering with its closeness to his pulsing vein.
Calder's calculating gaze swept over his captive. Leaning closer to Kevin's face Damon spoke in a forceful whisper. "I could end your life now, and there is nothing you could do to stop me."
Tilting the knife until the point dug into Ryan's skin the madman watched as a slow trickle of crimson trailed down the Irishman's white skin.
Kevin hissed as the pain hit him causing the knife to cut further into his neck. He quickly clenched his teeth to try to prevent his muscles from moving again, while in his head he began to pray, knowing his death was near.
Calder suddenly stepped back. "Don't worry, Kev. I'm not that upset."
Detective Ryan released a shaking breath and lifted his chin high, ignoring the wetness of his own blood. "I've never been very good at being controlled, Calder. If you wanted a bunny you should have gone to a pet store." His voice wavered slightly betraying just how scared Kevin actually was.
A shark-like smile formed across Damon's face at Kevin's words and tone. "We'll see about that."
The 12th precinct had never seemed so dark and unwelcome to Javier as it did now. Everywhere he looked all he could think about was Kevin and the fact that he would never see him again. Each wall, chair, and creaking floor board was just somewhere Kevin could never lean against, sit in, or walk over again. Throughout the short elevator ride to homicide Javier's thoughts were controlled by the time he and Ryan were stuck in the tight space for three hours and how relieved they both were when they were finally 'saved'. Only now Javier would give anything and everything to be stuck in that stupid elevator with Kevin one more time if it meant he could see and talk to his friend.
The doors slid open and after steeling his emotions the Hispanic detective stepped out and into the bullpen. All the activity ceased as Javier strode swiftly past his many colleagues, looking at none of them, but still feeling their pity. It infuriated him.
Without knocking Esposito walked through Captain Gates' office and dropped his badge and gun heavily on her desk. "I resign from the 12th immediately. I don't really care what you do with my stuff but I don't have any intention of cleaning out our- my desk."
Gates sighed and pulled her glasses off, tossing them next to Esposito's badge. "Detective, I realize that you have suffered a terrible loss. Everyone here shares in your pain-"
"NO!"
Gates leaned back in her chair, looking in surprise at Javier's harsh tone.
Esposito took a calming breath. "No…no one here shares this pain. Captain, Kev-" Javier's voice cracked so he halted his words for a moment trying to control his powerful feelings. "Kevin was my best friend. We were like brothers. So yes everyone here is upset by what happened, but they by no means share my pain."
"I get it. Detective Ryan meant a great deal to you, and that's why you're not thinking straight. Take some time off, figure out what it is you want to do, and then you come back here with a decision. If after that time off you decide you still want to quit then I'll accept your resignation, but if you decide to continue working here your job will be waiting for you."
Esposito's jaw muscle twitched as he looked out over the desks, his gaze passing over Beckett and Castle before landing on his and Ryan's empty desks. "Sorry Sir, but…the wheels fell off and there's no way I'm stepping foot inside this precinct again without Kevin as my partner. Since that will never happen." Javier wiped away an angry tear that slipped from his eyes as he turned his back on Gates and slammed out of her office. The captain's gaze dropped to Javier's badge and gun left there with a defeated sigh.
Beckett and Castle tried calling out to Javier as he stormed out of the bullpen, but their friend ignored them. He smashed the elevator down button, but Esposito hesitated when the doors quickly opened. Flashes of various elevator rides standing shoulder to shoulder with Ryan invaded his troubled mind. Shaking his head the distraught detective turned and took the stairs.
Well? What did you think? Please review and let me know if you enjoyed this new chapter. I always really appreciate all of your comments and support! What are you guys hoping to see coming up in the story? Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful night, and I'll see you next time...
