Everyone says that children grow up so fast, and, as she turns the calendar to December, Jade concedes that they're right. As she turns to talk to Maia, her heart thuds and panic sets in as she realizes she's not where she left her. A pain-stricken expression appears on her face as she frantically scans the room with her eyes as once again it dawns on her that she's responsible for this little life. And then she feels a tug on her leg, and looks down.
"You're crawling!" Jade exclaims, laughing and close to tears with adrenaline. She picks up the baby and holds her close, kissing her cheeks. "You scared me," she murmurs. As her heartbeat slows to a normal pace, Jade detects the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Cat bounds down the steps, a big smile on her face, as always, and rushes over to them both as Maia smiles easily, unaware of the panic she caused.
"Did I hear that somebody's crawling?" Cat asks, tickling Maia's neck and taking her from Jade. Jade smooths down the baby's hair, her smile natural and easy-going, a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. "Lucky it's Christmas break already. Can you imagine if we had missed that?" Cat gushes, smothering Maia in a shower of kisses as she giggles. Cat chuckles, too, and glances at Jade. "She's got your laugh, you know."
Jade raises her eyebrows but doesn't pass comment as she continues to get ready for the day, applying a final coat of mascara to her already heavily made up eyes. "Are you ready?" Jade asks Cat, her gaze settling on Cat's pajamas as she answers her own question. She glances at her phone as she sighs. "We need to leave in ten minutes."
Cat grins as she bounds up the stairs, calling behind her, "I can be ready in five."
"It's freezing out here!" Cat comments as she skips beside the pram that Jade pushes, her teeth gritted as she shivers. "Why did we choose to go to the park?"
"Because you're insane," Jade snaps, tugging her coat around her even tighter, as she bends down to check on Maia. "At least Maia's warm," Jade comments, pulling down the baby's purple woolly hat and adjusting her matching gloves so that every part of her is covered. "We'll just have to walk faster to stay warm."
It doesn't take them very long to reach the empty playground, apart from one lone figure swinging gently on one of the swings in the distance. "There's Beck," Cat points to the lone figure, and Jade rolls her eyes. "What?" Cat asks. Jade conceals a smile as she shakes her head.
"He always did love the swings." Then she bends down to the baby, unfastening her straps and lifting her out of the pram. "Look, Maia. There's Beck! He's drinking lemonade." She shakes her head, and taps Maia's nose. "And he didn't appreciate it when I got him a can for his birthday." Jade sighs and then shrugs her shoulders. "Oh well. Next year we'll try Pepsi, huh?"
Maia giggles, and Cat does too, and though Jade isn't sure either of them know what they're laughing at, she smiles at them both. Pushing the pram with one hand, and holding the baby with the other, Jade joins Beck at the swings, settling down on the swing that hangs next to him, as Cat settles down on the bench in front of them.
"Hey, I've been waiting for you." Beck smiles, waving at Maia as she giggles. Jade smiles, and shrugs apologetically.
"You know what Cat's like when it comes to keeping time," Jade explains, bouncing Maia on her knee as she begins to cry, because Beck's attention is on Jade now. Beck smiles and reaches out for her, a sappy grin appearing on his face as she reaches for him.
"Come to Daddy, Maia," Beck smiles as he takes the baby, as Jade winces at his words.
"Go to Beck, Maia," Jade says as she passes her over. "She looks so cute – careful!" Jade cautions, as Beck once again swings gently. Beck frowns at Jade.
"I won't hurt our daughter," he insists, smiling down at the baby, unable to help himself. "Does Maia love Daddy?" He laughs, as a pair of blue eyes stare up at him, imploring and curious.
The scene is interrupted by a droplet of rain splashing onto Jade's arm as she stares at them both, her thumbnail in her mouth. Maia, feeling the rain hitting her face, immediately begins to scream as Beck attempts to comfort her. The sound, mixed with the feeling of rain hitting her neck, sends shivers down her spine and causes goose bumps to form on her arms. Feeling oh so overwhelmed, Jade feels the panic rising in her chest as the breaths come quickly and shallowly.
"I-I can't do this," Jade admits, her eyes wide and hands shaking through the cold and through fear. "Please, look after her." Jade implores Beck, her shaking hand caressing the baby's head gently as she shakes her head. "I need to go."
And before anyone has the chance to stop her, Jade runs through the gate, and as far away as she can manage before she needs to stop and catch her breath, surrounded by trees and nature. It's only when she's caught her breath and the world has stopped spinning around her that she realizes where she is.
Her hand brushes over the spot where Maia had cried, looking so forlorn and alone that Jade, against all her best instincts, had picked her up and cradled her to her chest, and through her own tears had persuaded the baby to stop her cries. Naked and so fragile-looking, Jade had wrapped the baby in her jacket in an attempt to keep her warm. Motherly instincts had kicked in, whether she had wanted them to or not.
And guilty or not, Jade was going to be the mother that little girl deserved. Pulling herself up, Jade thought of all the holidays where she'd felt alone, all the Christmases that left her in her best dress, with no-one to twirl around with but her Barbie dolls. Wiping away the tears, and pushing down her guilty conscience, Jade only thought of the baby she'd left behind in the cold and wind, and reminded herself that on the day of her birth, she had wanted to do the same, but had lasted all of these months. With a new steely determination, Jade pressed on with her walk home.
"It's okay, Maia, mommy's coming home."
