So here we are; the next chapter. Not very many left. I said I would finish this within 15 chapters. There will be questions answered, but not always right away about Claire's past. Right now its hard to do since this is in Gray's POV, but I promise that there will eventually be a powwow to discuss the whys of Claire's past. I'm super busy since I have research papers and what not to write. I don't know when I will update again but hopefully it will be sometime before the end of the month.
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"Gray…what's your favorite color?"
I had shrugged at the question. I never really cared much for such things. I had never thought about it. I pulled at my hat, smiling at the brim and cleared my throat.
"Blue, I guess…"
I had realized I was getting better sometime in the middle of the summer. I had been invited by Claire to go shopping with Mary, Jack, and herself. I had said yes, and not for the reason of spying on Mary and Jack. I had agreed because I had wanted to be with Claire.
"I need to get some flour. A lot of flour," Jack told Jeff, glaring at him angrily for being low on stock. Jeff laughed nervously and shook his head.
"You bought all the flour the other day, besides what I have left. It will be Tuesday before more stock comes in," he explained while rubbing a hand over his stomach smoothly.
I let out a sigh and turned my attention to the girls. Mary was examining the craftsmanship of a shipping basket, and Claire was carefully gliding her hands over the table, examining a large rucksack before she moved onto the next item.
"Can you believe that Jeff. Nearly out of flour on a Friday, what am I supposed to use till Wednesday?" Jack grumbled at me, causing me to avert my attention.
"Well if certain farmers wouldn't randomly come in for flour on odd days, we could keep it in stock," an agitated voice came from the back of the supermarket. Jack and Karen always tended to butt heads about silly things. I sighed and shifted through the different bags if seeds disinteresting.
Jack winced and waved meekly. "Hey, Karen." Karen rolled her eyes and walked over to Mary and Claire, a wide grin coming across her face.
"Oh, Claire! How are you? Oh my Goodness! Are you thinking about buying that blue feather?" Karen chattered away and Claire turned in her direction, the item in hand as she ran her fingers lightly over it.
I dropped the bag of seeds I had been holding, my eyes wide as I turned towards Claire. I stepped in her direction hesitantly, but stopped as she spoke to Karen.
"Blue feather?" she repeated the words, some what confused. But then a thoughtful look came over her face.
That's right. Claire and Jack were from the city, they wouldn't know the significance of the blue feather.
"Oh yes. It's a wonderful one too. The blue matches your eyes perfectly, and I'm sure it would remind…"
"Who would want to buy a stupid blue feather?" Jack said loudly, causing Karen to stop and earning himself glares from Karen and Mary.
"I would," they both replied together, crossing their arms over their chest.
"Mary, if you want feathers I can bring you all the chicken feathers you want," Jack said, clearly confused at why his raven haired girlfriend was becoming upset at him. I cleared my throat and side stepped away from him.
I walked over to Claire, who was lost in thought, to get out of the wrath of the two women closing in on Jack. I cleared my throat again and was about to ask Claire if she wanted to go when she jerked her head in my direction, a large grin on her face.
"Gray…do you want me to buy you this feather?" she asked quietly, her eyes squinting shut as her grin grew. My mouth dropped slightly and I began stuttering incoherently, my face turning bright red.
It had been an innocent question. But even though I knew she didn't understand what she was asking me, my mind went wild. I briefly pictured her in a white gown, and couldn't stop some very non-masculine fantasies from going through my mind.
Had I known what the next year would bring, I would have accepted her offer. But Goddess help me there were a lot of things I would have done differently.
"Claire…" a quiet voice came from behind her. I looked at the ground embarrassedly as Jeff leaned in whispering in her ear.
"Oh…umm….I…I…never mind," she stammered, her cheeks turning bright red. She clumsily thrust the feather back onto the shelf, refusing to look in my direction. I coughed and placed a hand on her shoulder, offering a weak smile that she couldn't see.
"You want to go to the beach?" I offered, trying to get her to feel comfortable again. Even if it mean me taking her to a place, to a person that made me uncomfortable when it came to her.
"I'm sorry," she blurted out suddenly, burying her reddening face into her hands.
"Oh…well it's alright. You didn't know," I whispered quietly, blushing more myself. I didn't wait for an answer, but I grabbed her wrist, leading her out of the Supermarket and away from Jack's shouts of defense of 'why would any woman want a stupid blue feather?'
Mary had been upset at him and, surprisingly enough, I hadn't jumped at the chance to comfort her. I hadn't even given her a second thought. It's easy now to say that I was nearly over her by then. Granted I still had my moments where I longed for her to be with me, but they were becoming few and far between.
When I was with Claire, time often escaped me so easily that it was gone before I even knew it. When those few days went by that we weren't speaking, time had crawled by. It had seemed like weeks since I had seen her.
She had become a fixture in my life, something I had grown accustomed to. Something I had become attached too. I hadn't realized it at first, but she had begun to heal me, from the inside out I believe.
I groaned and wiped the sweat off my face, examining the newly crafted blade of the sickle. Happy with the curve and the thickness of the item I dipped the hot metal in the water bucket, smirking at the hissing protest of the water and the rising of the steam vapors.
After a minute I took the sickle head out and handed it to my grandfather, watching with a stoic expression as he examined my work. He turned it several times in his hands, his old arthritic fingers running over the blade. He brought it up on front of his face, old eyes narrowing as he gave a curt nod.
"This is….acceptable," he finally stated. I let out a relieved sigh and gave a half smile. I turned and headed back to my work station to clean it up.
"I haven't seen Claire in awhile. How is she doing?" he asked out of the blue. I froze and narrowed my eyes, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly.
"She's alright. She's been meeting me at the library," I offered, placing my tools in their proper place.
"What has she been doing with her day?" he continued, ever the curious old fart. I tensed and closed my eyes, trying to keep my patience. I had been fine with her being with him as long as I didn't think about it.
"She…has been spending her time at the beach," I muttered out darkly. I took a breath and added a little less venomously "I'm sure she'll be back to hang around here in the fall."
"I see," he said, not asking anymore. I continued to clean, ignoring his presence as I let out a sigh. Suddenly my hand was jerked in the direction of the old man, a large lump of gold placed in my open palm. I narrowed my eyes and looked at him curiously.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked, my eyebrows raised curiously.
"Gold is easily manipulated, easily shaped into something foreign from its original form. My mentor once told me it is the essence of change in its most pure state."
I listened to his words, eyes focusing on the gold ore. It wasn't pure gold, and to work with it, I would have to separate the impurities. That was a time consuming task. I sighed and awaited my instructions, vaguely listening to his explanation of gold. I knew what gold was, I didn't need him to explain it.
"I want you to purify the ore. Once you complete that, melt the pure gold down and into a new ore," Well that was relatively easy- time consuming but easy. "Then I want you to carve the gold into something," he finished and crossed his arms over his chest.
"What?" I asked, clearly confused at his directions.
"Make something from the gold."
"Like what?" I asked, agitatedly. What the hell did he want me to make?
"Whatever you want," he snapped back, his eyebrows furrowing. I sighed and glared at the gold.
"Any suggestions?" I muttered out, clearly at a loss of what he wanted.
"Gold…is a very beautiful and coveted ore. But the wonderful thing about it is that it can be crafted into something of physical form, something that can be felt, if not seen," he offered as he stroked his beard. My eyes widened at his words and he turned away, going back to his desk.
He wanted me to make something…for Claire.
What could I make for her? I had agonized over it for days, and never really could decide. I finally decided to just carve what I ended up carving when I thought of her. If it turned out crappy it could be melted back down into the ore again.
It was something I would end up working on from that moment till near the end of fall. Really I worked on it non stop in the summer, trying to keep my mind off of her being around Kai. I had always been a selfish person. I had few friends, and the ones I did have I didn't want to share.
Claire tried to bring us together, inviting me to go with her down the Snack Shack. But I refused most of the time. Kai's time with Claire was when I was work. I didn't want his presence impeding on the sparse time that was mine now that he was around. Kai…while being my friend, I saw him now as a rival; and as it turns out rightfully so.
Call it selfish, but I was happy to see him go at the end of the summer; though I wasn't prepared with how to handle Claire. I couldn't believe she had gotten so attached to him in a few short months.
"I'll miss you Kai!" Claire shouted out with Popuri as the boat left the pier. The traveler gave them a beaming grin, blowing each of them a kiss. I rolled my eyes at the affectionate gesture, grateful that Claire hadn't been able to see that. Kai was so cheesy. Rick and I both stood in apparent relief at the departure of Kai, both of us standing a little behind our wards.
I had been prepared for the crocodile tears from Popuri. Not that her pain at Kai leaving wasn't real. But she did cry in public fairly often, which had left me somewhat immune to her hysterics. But I hadn't been prepared for the tears that left Claire.
She stood at the edge of the pier, wiping her eyes furiously as Popuri openly bawled. I felt uneasiness growing in me and took a deep breath, reaching into my pocket pulling out a handkerchief. I grabbed Claire's hand and pressed the somewhat dingy material into her hand. It wasn't dirty, but it hadn't been white in months. No amount of bleach could get the stains out of it.
I jumped slightly when she suddenly hugged me, my face turning a bright red. I looked over at an equally exasperated Rick, rubbing his temple with one hand and patting Popuri's head with the other. I mimicked his gesture, clearing my throat and forcing out a comforting phrase.
"There there, it's going to be…alright," I began, sparing a glance down and the teary eyed blond and feeling my nervousness rise. I hated crying women. I hated them. I looked at Rick for help, but he obviously had believed the crying session should be over.
"Popuri, stop crying right now. He leaves every summer and you know that. He's not worth crying over, and you're being a baby," he said sternly. Popuri puffed up her cheeks and glared at him.
"Gawd Rick you are so heartless!" she wailed and I let out an oomph when she tackled me, her arms latching around my waist as she cried into my jacket. I looked at Rick, utterly helpless as the two women cried on me.
Rick rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses before catching my eyes. He chuckled and shook his head, taking both of his hands and patting the air. I closed my eyes and let my large shaking hands pat both of their heads again.
"There…there…" I muttered out through gritted teeth, glaring at Rick and jerking my head in Popuri's direction, in a silent plea for him to get her off from me. I could only badly handle one crying woman at a time, thank you very much.
Claire seemed to be upset for a day or so, but then that ever familiar smile made its way back to her face. I was glad to see it back, and glad that she was getting over Kai's departure so quickly. His absence allowed more time for me to spend with her, and I thanked the Goddess for that.
Everyday that passed made me need her more and more. I wanted her to be waiting for me when I got off from work. I wanted her to smile and tell me to cheer up when I had a bad day. I just wanted her…to myself. I wanted to be her only friend.
Maybe that's what ended up pushing her away. I was so selfish…I knew it and so did she. But the one time…the one damn time I tried to not be selfish I ended up pushing her away.
I hated myself for it each and every day.
