Authors note: Wow! Your response to Ali in the last chapter was AMAZING! And so So helpful! THANK YOU! You've definitely made me feature her thoughts much much more in this story. Trust me, she will have a lot to say and a huge journey to go through. This chapter is hard to write and you'll probably see why lol but it's necessary for Emily to do this for her story to make sense. Slightly worried of what you guys will think of this one! Please let me know, your feedback is massively appreciated. Here we go…Emily is all tied up…

Complexity. It weaves its way into all the simple parts of life. The parts that are supposed to be easy. You can say and do all the right things, but in the end, it's all just messed up. Your life can become a big ball of string…all the intricate little threads just…frayed, tangled…and tied up in knots.

Emily Fields was sitting on her bed, picking at her friendship bracelet. She traced the outline of the letters with her index finger. She remembered when Alison had given this to her, just a few months before.

"Can you put mine on for me, Em?" She had asked sweetly, with an angelic smile. Emily had blushed. She had reached out and touched her delicate wrist as she tied the bracelet around it. Even then…I couldn't touch her without blushing. I couldn't even tie the bracelet without my hand trembling. Emily thought, remembering.

If she had known then just how tied up she would become in Alison, then she would have probably warned herself just how much the blonde would change her.And Alison had, she had changed her. She now held a piece of Emily that no one else would be able to touch. Ever.

Alison had kissed Emily at the kissing rock. Or Emily had kissed Alison…she couldn't be sure. Whenever she tried to remember it, it didn't seem so important who leaned in first. All she knew was that they had kissed. It had happened. Finally.

Emily wasn't sure how to even process that information. The whole thing just seemed so…implausible. She would lie awake at night, thinking about it. All night she would feel those soft lips against hers…those hands tangled in her hair…and the way Alison had moaned, harsh, and breathless. She thought that sound would never leave her head.

It was like living inside a permanent dream. Everything felt backwards…instead of not wanting to wake up, she didn't want to go to sleep. Every waking moment was a blissful reminder of what had happened between them.

The thing that worried her the most, though, was that Alison hadn't said a word about it since it happened. Emily hadn't mentioned it either, but that was mainly through fear. Alison had this way about her. She could make you feel something one moment, and then take it away the next.

Emily was completely terrified. She was petrified that if she mentioned it even once, that Alison would pretend it had never happened, and then Emily's dream would become a nightmare.

Ali could be extremely confusing. After they had kissed, Ali had just disappeared. Completely. She had left Emily on the path from the kissing rock and just…gone. Emily didn't know where she went, or how she got home, she just knew that the rain had come and the day was suddenly over. By the time she got back to the lake, everyone was packing up their tents, running for their cars. Ben was nowhere in sight, and neither was Alison. Spencer had called her parents to come and pick the girls up, but all they got from Ali was a text saying she had made it home safely.

Emily had tried to text Alison over the next few days but she didn't get an answer. She had eventually called Alison's house phone and heard a few days later from Alison's mother that Ali had gone to stay at a Spa for a few days with some friend named Cecile…or Cece? Emily couldn't remember the name.

And so Emily was left alone with her memory of that day. The only person she could share it with was gone, and she wasn't sure she was even allowed to mention it to her anyway. Ali had said it was a secret, a secret they could never tell. I can't ever say anything. She wanted it to be a secret…and so I can never speak of it again. Emily thought. So, she didn't. She put the thought far away in her mind, and tried to keep it there, locked away.

There was one new thing that had happened in Alison's absence, though. Ben had asked her out on a date. A real date.

It had happened right after swim practice. Emily had finished getting changed, her hair still wet from the pool, and left the locker room in a rush to get home. She was rushing because she planned to go over to Alison's house after school, to see if she was home from her Spa break.

She was in such a rush that she didn't see the tall figure standing right in front of the door. She smacked straight into the person, dropping her bags on the floor.

Emily bent down to pick up her things. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" She had apologised as she looked up and saw Ben, standing above her with a goofy grin on his face.

"Damn, Fields! I thought I was supposed to sweep you off your feet! Not the other way around!" Ben's booming voice laughed.

Emily was flustered. "I...Ben! I'm…I'm so sorry I didn't see you there, I was rushing…and—"

"It's okay, Emily. You can knock into me any time." He teased.

Emily stood up, pulling her bag over her shoulder.

"Here, I'll walk you to your car, I wouldn't want you knocking into anyone else on the way there." Ben said, sweetly.

"I was just, the door…I didn't see you…" Emily stuttered. She was suddenly very jittery.

Ben took Emily's bag, and her arm, and led her to her car. Emily thought it was sweet how he would open every door they came across for her, and let her go through first. She noticed a few looks from her classmates, too, and she felt an odd sense of satisfaction.

"So, Emily. You owe me." Ben said as they reached Emily's car.

Owe him for what? Emily thought.

"You owe me a marshmallow." Ben laughed, holding Emily's door open for her as she stood awkwardly next to it.

"Oh, yeah, I guess I do." Emily answered. Here we go again.

Emily was worried. She knew what he was about to ask. She had been waiting for it for days now. She just didn't know if she really wanted it. Ben was nice, and she did feel something for him, she just wasn't sure if it was affection.

She knew that nothing would ever happen with her and Alison. She knew that. Even if Ali did feel something for her, she wasn't going to admit it any time soon and Emily couldn't even be sure their kiss had meant anything at all to her, anyway. Ali wasn't even there to ask.

"So…" He started, reaching out with the tips of his fingers to casually weave them through Emily's. Their arms hung awkwardly out in front of them. Emily looked at their interlocked hands. Ben pulled her closer, so that she was standing right in front of him now. Here it comes, here it comes! She thought, panicking. She looked up at him.

"Emily Fields, will you go on a date with me? I wanna take you out." He said sincerely, looking into Emily's chocolate brown eyes longingly.

Emily tensed up. What do I say! I can't say no…I don't know if I want to say yes. I guess one date wouldn't hurt. One date is normal. It's what normal people do, isn't it? She thought nervously.

She resigned herself to the fact that this was going to keep happening until she said yes. This will keep happening, and eventually I'll be his girlfriend. Emily thought. The idea scared her, but at the same time, she wanted to be his girlfriend. She just wanted to be normal..even if the process of it terrified her.

She looked back up at him and smiled slightly, her decision made. "Alright. I'll go on a date with you." She said back, trying to sound just as sincere as Ben.

Ben beamed at Emily, his big toothy grin spreading practically from ear to ear. He looked relieved. "Good." He laughed. "I was so nervous asking you, I thought you'd say no!"

"No. It'll be fun. I wanna go." Emily said, relaxing a bit. Ben wasn't that scary when she started talking to him, it was more the idea of him that scared her, and the more she spoke to him, the less she was afraid.

"Awesome. So pizza, tomorrow night? I'll come an pick you up?" Ben asked.

"Sounds good." Emily said. It's just pizza, how hard can that be. You just go, eat pizza, and…that's it. Just some pizza eating, no biggie.

"Great." Ben said, still smiling.

Emily unfurled her hands from his and stepped back, putting one hand on her car door to indicate she was leaving. She hoped Ben got the hint before it got awkward.

"So…I better…" She trailed off.

"Sure" Ben said, taking a couple of steps back. He gave Emily a little wave goodbye, which she returned.

Emily was about to get into her car when Ben darted forward suddenly, grabbing her elbow to twist her around and face him. His face was suddenly veryclose to hers. She could smell his aftershave as he leaned close to her face. He brought his lips to her cheek once, giving her a chaste kiss. Emily's heart jumped in shock. He leaned across so that he could whisper in her ear. "I'm really looking forward to it." Then he suddenly bounded off across the parking lot, leaving Emily standing by her car, shocked.

She had driven all the way home in a daze. I'm going out on a real first date. A real one. With an actual boy. Not an imaginary one with Alison. A real date.

She couldn't help the small smile that graced her lips as she locked her car and walked into her house. She couldn't help but feel a little proud.

And so, Emily sat on her bed, fiddling with her friendship bracelet from Alison. We're just friends. That's all we are. She told herself. If she liked me like that, it would feel more like it does with Ben. I'd feel that she wanted me. Emily thought sadly. And I don't. I thought she did…but she's gone. If she wanted me she would be here, surely?

Emily's thoughts were interrupted by a loud vibration coming from her cellphone. She looked at the number and saw that Hanna was calling her. She picked up.

"Hey Han, what's up" she asked.

The voice on the other end of the line was excited and shrill. "Oh nothing! Just wondered when you were gonna tell me about your little date night with Ben! Come on Emily, spill!"

How does she do that! Emily thought.

"How did you know?" She questioned. "He literally like…only just asked me. How the hell did you find out so fast?"

"I'm observant like that! Well, actually I kinda knew he was gonna ask you. Mike Montgomery told me. It was all Ben was talking about in the locker room earlier. He practically told everyone he was going to take you out." Hanna said excitedly.

He told everyone?! Great, now everyone knows. If it goes wrong, everyone will find out. Emily thought.

"He did? Great." Emily said, sounding very unimpressed.

"Oh, don't be like that." Hanna continued. "It's really kinda cute. He's liked you for, like, ever. Mike told me he's had the biggest crush on you ever since he saw you swimming at first tryout."

"Yeah, cute, I guess. No it is. It's cute. It's nice, actually." Emily said. Her emotions were all over the place. She had to be invested in this now because if she wasn't then everyone would hear about it.

"What were you doing with Mike Montgomery, anyway?" Emily wondered. It wasn't really common practice to be hanging out with your friends' younger brothers.

Hanna went a little quiet, and then said "oh nothing, just seeing how his ankle was, you know. Besides, he always tells me the gossip from the boys locker room. He's like my little spy!"

Emily giggled. "You're so sneaky! I bet you stand outside there all day hoping to see Sean, come on, don't lie to me!" She teased.

"Well obviously!" Hanna laughed.

Emily laughed, too. She liked Hanna the most, after Alison. She always knew just how to make her relax and cheer her up. She was also much more intuitive than she would give herself credit for. Emily was always worried that one day she would see just how much she liked Alison. Hanna just seemed to always notice things. Emily wasn't surprised that Hanna was the first person to call her about Ben, she just had a way of finding things out.

"So, you nervous?" Hanna asked.

"I am…actually." Emily admitted. She felt safe telling Hanna.

"Oh Emily, don't be. Honestly, what I wouldn't give for Sean to ask me out..." She said wistfully. "I think you're lucky. Ben is really cute, and he's nice. And he likes you. You know how rare that is? I think Ben genuinely cares about you. Besides, did you check out those abs?" Hanna laughed.

Emily blushed. "I did…actually." She admitted. And she had. She had seen his amazing body. If there was one thing Emily could appreciate, it was the body of an athlete. Not quite in the way that Hanna did, though. Emily would see determination, stamina and dedication when she looked at a body like that. Hanna would see what she would call "abs you can cut your tongue licking."

"Then there's no need to be nervous! Just relax okay it's only pizza! And you never know, you might actually get your first kiss, Em! How awesome would that be."

Too late. Emily thought. But she couldn't admit it to Hanna. She couldn't admit it to anyone, ever.

"Yeah, I guess I might." Emily said quietly. She didn't like to lie, but what had Ali called it? Practice? Maybe it wasn't such a lie, after all. Maybe it doesn't count. She thought. But it did. Oh, it did.

"Ahhhh" Hanna squealed. Emily could hear her clapping all the way through the phone. "I am so excited! I wish I could watch you!"

"Oh my god Han, that's so creepy!" Emily laughed.

Hanna giggled. "Oh I'm just kidding…sort of. Look, don't worry about it, just let it happen. Ben's a nice guy, it'll be fine."

That's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried I won't feel anything. Emily thought.

"Anyway, I have to go, I've got to go and read this boring book for English class. Who even cares what they did in the 18th century anyway! It was like…ages ago! I'm pretty sure they didn't even kiss back then! It's some crappy Great expectations book. I have to read it for some dumb test. Ugh, I so cannot be bothered!"

"I know Han, we're in the same class, remember. I have to read it too." Emily chuckled.

"Oh right yeah…duh! I just do not have time, I'd rather go watch MTV. There's a behind the scenes Lady Gaga special on." Hanna said, whining.

"I know, I'm gonna watch it too." Emily said. "And Hanna, I'm pretty sure Great expectations was written in the 19th century, not the 18th." Emily added.

"No, it's the 18th. It was written in, like, 1860 or something, right?" Hanna asked.

"It was 1861, and they call that the 19th century. You need help studying Hanna?" Emily asked, amused.

"Thanks Em, yeah...actually. To be honest, the only 'great expectations' I have, are that I'm going to fail that test." Hanna said glumly.

"You'll do fine. Maybe we can ask the others, too. Make a study slash eat-a-lot-of-food night?" Emily suggested.

"Food? I'm in!" Hanna said.

"And studying! I have to pass the damn test too!" Emily laughed.

"Have you heard from Ali? Maybe we should invite her, too." Hanna asked.

Emily went quiet at the sound of Alison's name. God, even her name made her flinch.

"No." Emily said quietly. "I've not heard a thing, have you?"

"Me either! She just ditched us at the lake and then poof she's gone. I wish I was at a damn spa!" Hanna said in mock annoyance.

"Alright, well, I better get going if I wanna read this book. Ugh. So not how I wanted to spend my evening. Call me tomorrow night, let me know how it goes with Ben okay!"

"Okay, bye Han." Emily said. She could hear Hanna's TV click on as she went to put the phone down, the sound of MTV blaring.

Emily settled in for a long evening of worrying. She knew it was silly, she knew it was…pointless, even. She knew what was going to happen. She would go out, Ben would kiss her, Ben would ask her out, and then, she'd be Ben's girlfriend.

It was all very…predictable. Dull, even. But she had to do it. She had to. If she didn't, she would end up alone. She would watch Alison flit about like nothing had happened, not a care in the world. She doesn't care. Emily thought, sadly. But Alison was so…unpredictable. That's one of the reasons Emily was so drawn to her…life was never dull with Ali. Emily just didn't know what to think, anymore.

And so, as Emily went to sleep that night, she tried to put all thoughts of Alison out of her head. She managed it... for a few minutes. But, as she drifted off to sleep, her dreams began with pouring rain…and wildflowers.

Emily wasn't sure how she made it through the next day. Her body was tied completely in knots. As were her emotions. She wished someone could come along and cut right through the mess with a sharp knife and free her from the stress of it all. Everyone knew. Everyone. Somehow, word had traveled to almost every student in her year. She had been asked by about four separate people throughout the day, if she was 'looking forward' to her date with Ben.

By the time the fifth person asked her, she was ready to leave school and run all the way home. She just wasn't used to all this attention. Nobody ever really noticed her. The only time people ever really paid any attention to her was when she was swimming. The rest of the time, she was usually under Alison's shadow. Usually, Ali would be the one everyone focused on; she would parade around as if she were Queen of the school, and Emily, Aria, Spencer and Hanna, were just her groupies. But, Alison wasn't there. So naturally, Ben asking Emily out was all people seemed to want to focus on.

Emily did something she didn't usually do, and skipped last period. She just couldn't take the questions any more. She was nervous enough as it was without the constant staring.

She told herself she wouldn't do it, but of course, she did. She drove past Alison's house.She knew she was being a little…obsessed…but she hadn't heard from Alison in days. She wondered how on earth the blonde had managed to talk her mother into letting her have that much time off school. Alison would have found a way though, she always did. She knocked on Alison's door, but nobody answered. It was a good job, too, because if Alison's mother had answered, she might have some questions as to why Emily wasn't at school either.

Emily wished she could just talk to Ali. She only wanted to talk. Ali wouldn't even pick up her calls. She supposed there was no use, Ali would turn up precisely when she wanted to.

So, Emily went home. She spent most of the rest of the day trying to decide what to wear. She had never been in this predicament before. She usually just…threw something on. She wasn't sure if she should be dressing to impress, or if that would just make her look too keen. She didn't want to look too dressed up, after all…it was just pizza.

She settled on black jeans, a black tank top, and a red leather jacket. She wasn't a big fan of heels, so she just went in flats. Not too dressed up, it's only pizza.

Emily was getting annoyed with herself. She couldn't count the amount of times she'd said its only pizza in her head. It's not only pizza, you know it's not. She had to remind herself.

She kept willing herself to see this for what it really was: a date. It was normal to get dressed up for a date. It was normal to be excited. Why am I not normal? Emily wondered. Why does this terrify me? A small part of her mind considered this, before coming to the conclusion: because you want something else. She had to fight to push it back.

It didn't matter in the end. It didn't matter what she wore, or how frightened she was, or if she really wanted to go…because it was happening and that was that. It was happening because before she knew it, Ben was standing outside her door.

Oh god, oh god, oh god. Emily thought. Her heart was in her throat. She heard the doorbell ring and she knew exactly who it was. She had watched him pull up outside her house, casually check his hair in his wing mirror, and then stroll up her garden path.

Emily checked her own hair in her own mirror as she dashed out of her room. Don't let my mom answer the door, don't let her answer the door! Oh please let me get there first! She willed herself to move faster. As her feet hit the landing, she heard her mother letting Ben into the house. Of course! Great!

"Emily! You have a friend at the door!" Her mother called.

Yes, thanks mom. Now please GO AWAY. Emily willed.

The brunette tried to slow her steps down so she wouldn't look like she was in too much of a hurry. She hoped her mother had gone back into the kitchen. Of course, she hadn't.

Her mother met her at the bottom of the stairs, a huge smile on her face.

"Emily, a boy is here to see you." She said pointedly.

Great, she's giving me 'the look'. Emily thought. If she says anything embarrassing to him I will literally kill her with my bare hands. Please go away, go away now before you say something I'll have to yell at you for later. Please.

"Yeah, I know mom, we're actually going out." She realised how it sounded as soon as she said it. "I mean…out like, out to the pizza place. Like out out, outside of the house out." Oh my god please let me leave this planet and never come back.

Her mother looked amused. She said nothing to Emily, she just looked at Ben and then back to her daughter, smiling.

No need to look so surprised mom. Jeez I'm not a nun! Emily thought. Although her mothers pleased expression didn't exactly surprise her. She had been pushing Emily to 'get out more' recently.

Ben stood next to her door, grinning. He looked Emily up and down. He stood with his hands in his pockets, a flirty expression on his face. "Nice jacket." He said.

Pretty sure he was looking at my legs when he said that. Please let my mother not have seen that. Why does he look so calm. He's just…standing there. He doesn't look nervous at all!

"Thanks Ben." Emily said, smiling shyly.

"Well…Ben, is it? It was nice to meet you. I hope you two have a good time tonight." Emily's mother said. She turned to leave, obviously starting to feel like she was intruding.

"Emily, not too late." Her mother said, giving Emily 'the look' again as she walked past her and into the kitchen.

Thanks for that, mom. Now he thinks I'm twelve years old. "Alright, mom, bye." Emily said in a slightly sharper tone than she intended.

"It was nice to meet you too Mrs Fields." Ben called.

They now stood alone by the door in an awkward silence. Emily could be sure her mom was listening in the kitchen. She just wanted to get out of the house.

"So..." She started, unsure what to say.

"You wanna…" Ben interrupted, gesturing towards the door.

"Yes! Yes I really do." Emily answered, moving past him to open her door. Ben held it open for her.

"Ladies first." He said as Emily stepped past him and out into the cold night.

The drive to the pizza place wasn't too awkward. It could have been worse. The more time Emily spent with Ben, the more she relaxed. Ben had this casual way about him that made Emily feel at ease. He was friendly and flirty, but he didn't push too hard. He drove with the windows down and the music up. Not up enough to not be able to speak, but up enough that Emily got a thrill listening to it. This is what it must have been like for Ali, those times she went out driving with Matt. She couldn't help but be a little smug. She would notice passers by turn and look at them as they drove past. She felt special.

She found herself laughing at Ben's jokes. He was quite a nice guy, really. She only felt slightly awkward once. They had stopped at a red light and she had noticed some of Ben's friends from school standing by the side of the road, opposite the Italian diner. They had spotted Ben's car and wolf whistled loudly, pointing at Emily in the front seat. She could see them laughing and nudging each other. To his credit, Ben didn't react. He just stared straight ahead, ignoring it.

When they got to the pizza place, Ben asked for a table by the window. It was the best seat in the restaurant. Emily couldn't see anyone she knew in there, and she wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. On one hand, there was nobody in there to spy on them, although she did half expect to see Hanna hiding behind a bush with a camcorder...but on the other hand, there was nobody there to rescue her, either. The more the evening went on, though, the less she was feeling like she might need to be rescued.

It was quite fun, really. Someone else was actually interested in her, for once. Ben had asked about her swimming, about her interests...hell, he'd even asked her what she'd had for breakfast. He was really keen. And it was nice, it was. It was nice to be asked, it was nice to feel wanted. Emily had been so confused for so long, she finally felt like her head was beginning to clear.

I can do this, I can. He's a nice guy. He's actually, really, a nice guy. I could date him. I could be normal. I could.

There was a small part of Emily's brain, though, that knew she was only interested because Alison wasn't. Ali wasn't even around to tell her she wasn't. That was how much she didn't care.

Emily had ordered a medium pizza and was suddenly faced with a dire conundrum. As the pizza was placed in front of her she thought: Oh shit. How the fuck do I eat pizza without getting it everywhere and looking like Bruce bogtrotter from Matilda. It's going to go all over my face. And the sauce. Oh god the sauce. Why did I agree to pizza! Emily stared at the pizza in front of her like it was a tarantula.

Ben looked at the pizza and then back at Emily. "What's up? Wrong ingredients?" He asked.

"No, no, it's great. It looks good. I just…" Emily blushed. "Kinda wishing I'd got something a little more…delicate." She added.

Ben laughed. "Oh! Who cares! You'd look cute even with pizza all over your face."

Emily felt nervous again. She laughed. "You obviously haven't seen me eat. I'm like…the messiest person."

Ben dramatically placed his hand on his chest. "No! Nobody beats me!" He scoffed.

"Here…" Ben added, sticking his finger in his pizza sauce. "This make you feel better?" He swiped his finger across his nose, the sauce now sitting on it in a big red dot. It looked ridiculous.

Emily burst out laughing. "Oh my god! I can't believe you just did that!" She said in between giggles. "You cannot sit there like that!"

"What? You don't wanna have dinner with Rudolf?" He questioned in mock confusion. "I thought you said you liked Christmas?" He added.

"Stop! People are staring! Oh my god!" Emily said, laughing. She suddenly felt quite at ease. Wait…am I actually flirting? Oh my god I think I am!

Ben wiped off the sauce. "Better?" He said.

"Much!" Answered Emily. She found herself relaxed, and comfortable. This had actually turned out to be a pretty fun night, after all.

They spent the rest of the evening like that; talking, and laughing…even flirting, a little. Emily was unimaginably surprised that she had managed to get through it. She was even more surprised that she had actually enjoyed herself.

When the time was right to go home, Ben stood up, pulling Emily's chair out for her. She slipped on her red jacket, noticing that Ben was watching her very closely. Emily's hair became slightly tangled in the collar as she pulled her arm through her sleeve. Ben moved behind her to help her out.

"Here. Let me get that." He said in a low tone. He swept his fingers over her shoulders, gathering up her long brown hair in a ponytail and held it free of the jacket as she put it on. It felt…strange, to have someone touch her so intimately. She wasn't used to it.

For a second, Emily was reminded of her kiss with Alison. The way Ali had held the back of her head…as she had kissed her, hard. Her fingers had tangled in Emily's hair, pulling her head closer in the most deliciously rough way. Emily had tingles all over her body just thinking about it…and the sensation of it, the sensation had been so much stronger.

When Ben touched her, she wasn't sure what she felt. She definitely didn't feel anything close to that…but she did feel something. There was something there, something small.

Emily could feel Ben behind her as she shrugged the jacket on. His hands let go of her hair and his strong arm linked with hers, leading her to the door. He held it open as they left the restaurant.

Emily's heart beat furiously inside her chest. She knew what was coming. She could tell by their close proximity that a kiss was going to be the inevitable conclusion to the evening. Strangely, though, she found that a small part of her wanted it. She wanted him to kiss her.

If this is what having a boyfriend is like…it's not so bad. It's just like having a friend…but closer. I could deal with this. This isn't awful. I could so do this. I could be normal. I could do this and nobody would think any different of me. She thought. Nobody would know I'm not normal. Nobody would know…apart from me.

And so, as they reached Ben's car, the thing Emily had been dreading, and looking forward to at the same time, happened.

Ben turned to Emily, unlinking their arms. "Emily. I wanna do something. If that's okay." He asked tentatively. He searched her eyes, stepping closer.

"What?" Emily asked in a small voice. You know exactly what. Stop stalling. She thought.

"I like you…I really like you. You're kind, you're funny, you're…beautiful. I've been wanting to kiss you, all night, did you know that?" He asked boldly. His hand snaked across to grab hers.

Yes actually I did.

"Really?" Emily said nervously. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear nervously. She swayed a little from side to side and Ben moved with her, like a cobra. He held her hand close to his heart.

"Can't you feel how nervous I am?" He asked, holding her hand flat against his chest. She couldn't feel his heartbeat through his shirt, but she wasn't really focusing. This was all getting very real.

"Ben…I" she trailed off. She was going to say 'I can't do this.' But what would have been the point of all this if she gave up now. She needed this.

You can do this, you can. She thought.

Ben cupped Emily's face in his warm hand. Her breathing caught in her chest. Here we go again…

As he leaned towards her, he pulled her body flush against his. There was barely any space between them as he tilted his head, his lips aiming for hers.

A loud shout interrupted them. "Emily!"

The brunette thought she was having déjà vu. She looked around, startled, and that's when she saw her. She was standing on the other side of the road, just in front of the joke shop and the pizza place. Alison. She was back.

Emily squinted her eyes. What was she doing here?

Alison shouted again. "Emily!"

"No way!" Ben shouted across the street. "Not this time, DiLaurentis!"

Then, quick as a flash, he grabbed Emily's arm and pulled her into a searing kiss. His hand cradled the back of Emily's head as he immediately deepened it, moving his tongue against hers, again and again. At first Emily was shocked, she hadn't been expecting him to do that.

Oh my god he's kissing me. She thought. A thousand fears shot through her at once. What am I doing? Just kiss back, you can do it. Just feel it.

She moved her mouth back against his, kissing him, too. And before she knew it, she was relaxed. She was actually able to do it. It was just a kiss, after all. Granted, there were no fireworks, no sparks or burning flames, but a kiss was a kiss. And she was doing it. She was obviously doing it well too because Ben took quite a while before he stopped. Emily pulled back, breathless.

Ben smiled at her, a big wide grin across his face. "I guess…I should take you home, huh. Don't want your mom to get mad."

Emily was having trouble speaking. We just kissed. I kissed him. I did it. I did something normal people do, and I didn't screw it up.

"I, sure yeah...I just…hold on a sec. I need to see what Ali wants." She said.

Shit. Alison. What was she doing standing across the street, what did she want? Had she seen?

Ali was nowhere to be seen, though. Emily searched with her eyes up and down the street but there was no sign of her.

"I guess…she was just saying hi. She's been at a spa…probably wanted to let me know she was back." Emily said uncertainly.

Well, wherever Alison was...she wasn't there now, and so, with a slight smile on her face, Emily got back into Ben's car.

Ben didn't try to kiss her again when he dropped her off. Probably because Emily's mother had her face up to the window, staring. Emily and Ben said their goodbyes, and with a smile on her face, the brunette walked into her house. Emily was proud of herself. This was the first time in her life that she had done anything bold, or scary. She had no friends with her...nobody to push her but herself; and she had managed to get through her first date quite successfully. Like a normal person.

But that's the thing about normal. What is it? Are you normal because you do what everyone else does? Or is normal unique to every person? Can you be unique, and normal, at the same time? Emily didn't know what normal was anymore. Her feelings and emotions had become so complicated that she didn't know how to untangle them. Piece by piece, though, she was starting to cut through the mess. She was starting to feel normal.

Alison DiLaurentis, however, was not having a normal day at all…

Authors note: Something tells me Alison isn't going to be happy lol. A certain scene is coming up soon, and I would love to know if you guys can guess what it is! It MAY involve a library…but I'm saying nothing. Ali is also going to be having her say. Please let me know what you guys are thinking and anything you'd like to see happen! I know someone said they wanted to see Emily flirt with Ali a bit and I'll very much be showing that soon! Seriously, the response to this story has been phenomenal I am touched. Thank you SO much for your reviews, you're all helping me to write this and I love you all! My Twitter is hauntedtwilight