Level 2, part 3.

John: and then nic cage reunited with his wife and daughter and it was the most awesome scene in movie history, and literally nothing topped that ever after.

John: and that is why i named the froggit casey.

Karkat: ...

Karkat: DIDN'T YOU RUN INTO OTHER MONSTERS IN THERE?

John: yeah.

John: lots of them!

John: there were whimsuns too

John: and vegetoids

John: and moldsmols

John: and looxs

John: and toriel! she was great.

John: and a little asshole flower who pelted my cute little blue heart soul with 'friendliness' pellets. he was less great.

Karkat: NONE WHO WERE LIKE

Karkat: UGH, FORGET IT.

Karkat: HOW DID YOU EVEN GET OUT OF THERE?

John: um...

John: i just walked out.

Karkat: HOW?

John: with my legs, and my brain?

Karkat: DON'T BE A SMARTASS, THAT DOOR HAS ALWAYS BEEN LOCKED.

John: really?

Karkat: YES.

John: huh

John: these shades look like they belonged to a human, anyway.

Karkat: NO.

Karkat: JUST, NO, YOU IGNORANT BUCKET OF RAPIDLY DECOMPOSING GREY MATTER!

John: ew...omg, ew!

Karkat: THESE SHADES BELONG TO DAVE.

John: right, so he was probably a human.

John: when was the last time you saw the guy, anyway?

Karkat: ABOUT TWELVE YEARS AGO.

John: woah.

Karkat: WHAT?

John: i assumed you were like ten.

Karkat: FUCK YOU!

John: you're really short, dude.

Karkat: ARE ALL HUMANS THIS OBNOXIOUS?

John: i dunno, probably not.

Karkat: I'M 12, YOU FUCK.

Karkat: FOR ANOTHER COUPLE OF MONTHS ANYWAY, AND IT'S SUCH A FUCKING RELIEF YOU WON'T BE AROUND TO WITNESS MY ASCENT INTO TEENAGE-HOOD.

Karkat: TEENAGER-HOOD?

Karkat: OH MY FUCK, THAT SOUNDS SO LAME.

Karkat: THE BIG ONE THREE. YOU GET THE POINT.

John: meh.

John: i reached that 'milestone' today

John: nothing to brag about so far, dude.

John: unless having your little blue heart soul pelted by a demon flower counts as some kind of fucked up rite of passage?

Karkat: I'M PRETTY SURE IT DOESN'T.

Karkat: MONSTERS ARE JUST GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS BECAUSE YOU'RE A HUMAN.

John: man

John: why are you all so racist.

Karkat: I'M NOT!

John: orly?

Karkat: I JUST...

Karkat: I HAVE MY OWN REASONS, OK?

John: ok.

John: you just want to kill me because i'm human

John: but in a totally non racist way.

John: got it.

Karkat: EXACTLY

Karkat: WAIT

Karkat: OH, FUCK.

Karkat: NO

Karkat: IT'S

Karkat: FOR PAPYRUS.

John: ?

Karkat: HE'S BEEN TRYING TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD FOR WHO THE SHIT KNOWS HOW LONG.

Karkat: BUT THE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD KEEPS MOCKING HIM.

John: maybe he's not very good.

Karkat: MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHUT YOUR SEED FLAP, AND KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF WHILE I SERVE YOU UP A PLATE FULL OF EMOTIONAL BACKSTORY AND EXPOSITION!

John: alright, sheesh!

Karkat: PAPYRUS IS A BONE HEAD.

Karkat: AND A TERRIBLE COOK.

Karkat: AND AN OBLIVIOUS SHIT WEASEL.

John: wow.

Karkat: BUT HE DOESN'T GIVE UP.

Karkat: EVEN WHEN SOMEONE WITH A FUNCTIONING THINK PAN WOULD KNOW WHEN TO CUT THEIR LOSSES.

Karkat: SO, I DECIDED TO CREATE MY OWN ROYAL GUARD. THEY'RE...STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS, BUT, THEY'RE GOING TO BE GREAT.

John: oh god, you're behind those monkeys?!

Karkat: STFU!

Karkat: LIKE I SAID, THEY'RE INEXPERIENCED.

Karkat: BUT ONCE THEY'RE TRAINED UP, THEY'LL BE READY TO JOIN PAPYRUS, AND SHOW THAT BITCH WHAT'S UP.

John: yeah good luck with that.

Karkat: BUT PAPYRUS

Karkat: HASN'T SHOWN MUCH INTEREST SO FAR.

Karkat: HE'S STILL DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S APPROVAL.

Karkat: SO I...

Karkat: I...

Karkat: SHIT...

John: ?

Karkat: GIVE ME A MINUTE.

John: where are you going?

Karkat: I'M GOING TO GO HAVE A DEEP AND MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH THIS BUSH ON THE SUBJECT OF FUCKING MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

John: oh, ok.

John – Be the troll.

You be the monster, because that is clearly what you are, and anyone who thinks differently is a sponge dead ass cabinet. Once you are sure you are far enough away from the human, you pull out your phone and call Papyrus.

Karkat: HEY.

Papyrus: OH! IF IT ISN'T MY FRIEND, WHO I TRUST!

Karkat: YEAH, WHATEVER.

Karkat: DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING SHOUT?

Papyrus: WELL, I AM JUST SO EXCITED! THERE IS A HUMAN RUNNING AROUND SNOWDIN, IS THERE NOT?

Karkat: YEAH...ABOUT THAT-

Papyrus: I AM ON MY WAY TO YOUR LOCATION RIGHT NOW, AS WE SPEAK!

Papyrus: I HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH MY PUZZLE, YOU SEE. WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD HOLD THE HUMAN UP BY THAT FRIENDLY SNOWMAN, I WAS SO OVERCOME WITH JOY THAT I SET THE TRAP RIGHT AWAY...

Papyrus: AND I'VE SINCE BEEN FIGURING OUT HOW TO SOLVE IT, SO I CAN GET OVER THERE!

Karkat: ...

Papyrus: IT IS A VERY DIFFICULT PUZZLE, BUT I AM DETERMINED TO BEAT IT!

Karkat: ...

Papyrus: NO MATTER HOW DASTARDLY AND DANGEROUS IT MAY BE!

Karkat: WAIT- DANGEROUS?

Karkat: PAPYRUS WHAT THE FU-

Papyrus: ONLY ONE WORD TO UNSCRAMBLE NOW!

Karkat: ...

Karkat: ARE YOU FUCKING PLAYING JUNIOR JUMBLE?!

Papyrus: AFFIRMATIVE!

Karkat: GODDAMNIT!

Karkat: OK

Karkat: WELL

Karkat: I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW.

Karkat: THAT HUMAN-

Papyrus: OH YES! THE ONE YOU ARE LOYALLY DISTRACTING FOR ME!

Karkat: YEAH

Karkat: THAT ONE.

Karkat: HE...

Karkat: HE GOT AWAY.

Karkat: I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS NOW.

Papyrus: WELL, THAT'S OK! I WILL HUNT HIM DOWN, WITH MY IMPECCABLE SKILLS! AND SPRING ON HIM AN EVEN TOUGHER PUZZLE. ONE NOT EVEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE ABLE TO SOLVE! NYEH HEH HEH!

Well, that went just about as expected.

Bush: Hi! : )

Karkat: ...

Karkat: *SIGH* ...HI.

Karkat – Return to human unsuspiciously.

John: oh hey.

Karkat: YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING.

John: hm?

Karkat: I'M HEADING HOME NOW.

Karkat: SO I WON'T BE HERE TO DEFEND YOUR USELESS EVACUATION SHOOT WHEN YOU'RE INEVITABLY ATTACKED.

John: you're leaving?

Karkat: YEAH

Karkat: AS OPPOSED TO WHAT LITTLE YOUR DEFLATED MIND LOAF CAN COMPREHEND, I'M A FUCKING IMPORTANT GUY WITH A SHIT TON OF STUFF TO DO.

John: oh...

John: well, ok.

John: i really should be on my way too.

John: i don't know why everyone has such a bone to pick with me down here, but i don't really want to stick around to find out.

Karkat: HE'S CAPABLE OF LEARNING.

Karkat: WOW.

Karkat: SLOW CLAP FOR THE IDIOT.

John: yeah yeah, weren't you going?

Karkat: RIGHT.

Karkat: I GUESS I SHOULD THANK YOU FOR THE SHADES.

John: literally no problem.

Karkat: AND THAT PIE WAS

Karkat: NICE.

Karkat: BYE.

John: later.

You are now free to spare the troll.

John – Reflect on making yet another friend.

Between Toriel, Casey and now this troll, you might just find you won't want to leave this place after all. If only everything wasn't out to kill you. As nice as this place is, you feel it is about time you should get going. You don't want something ridiculous to happen and trap you here for an extended amount of time.

Also, you should probably go find Casey.

End of level 2, part 3.