A/N: Hi everbody! Thank you to my loverly reviewers. I love you all! And here is the next chapter...
Being Georgiana by Spring Turkey
"Cats are known to see within the dark. Yet, if you had sight like a cat, even for one day, would you really want to see what's in the dark?"
Georgiana Robins POV
When Simon and I arrived at the school gates, I was surprised to see Draco and Zabini standing in the shadows. Draco came out to stand with me when Snape approached to let us in. I was guessing that they had been waiting for a little while, and that Zabini was not supposed to be outside of the school gates.
"Good evening, Miss Robins. Did you have a pleasant trip?" Snape asked in his slimy voice. I could hear his sarcasm and I didn't respond. He had just ushered us in and was about to shut the gate when he stopped. "Zabini, you might as well come too." He did, but he had the most displeased look on his face I'd ever seen. I gave Draco a suspicious look. Normally, a student caught off school grounds would have been heavily punished, but all he got was an annoyed teacher. Draco didn't even meet my eye.
"Bye, George. I'll see you later." Simon waved at me and then followed Snape, Draco and Zabini to the Slytherin common room.
"Georgiana!" It was Ginny running towards me. She pulled me into a hug. "Are you alright?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I had momentarily forgotten about Draco and Zabini. "Did you see Zabini at dinner?"
"Um, no. Why?" she looked a bit confused.
"Oh, no reason," I absently replied. "Listen, I'm really tired. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Of course. And if you need anything, just let me know." I felt bad for lying to her, but if I stayed I was bound to blab, and somehow, Draco's trust meant something to me.
"Hi, Zabini," I said coolly as I noticed him leaning beside the entrance to my common room.
"Hi." He flashed me a smile that made my insides melt. I was so weak that it was frustrating. "Do you think you could do me the pleasure of taking a walk with me?" I gave him a 'you-must-be-joking' look. "I'm serious." He straightened his face and I think I nodded my head without consenting my neck to do so. I quickly shoved my trunk inside and came back out.
"What do you want?" I asked as we quietly made our way to the grounds. Filch was lurking around somewhere and I didn't feel like being caught doing something that wasn't against the rules. It was only nine o'clock.
"Just to talk with you. Make sure you're okay," he said.
"And you couldn't ask me that in the corridor because?" I challenged him.
"I don't know. You just confuse me." My face fell at the frustration in his voice.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"For the last four years, you've done nothing but stare at me. Now I'm trying to get you to notice me and you barely glance in my direction! I'm trying - really trying. It's never been an effort to get girls before. But you I just can't seem to understand," he said. I opened my mouth but couldn't say anything. I was blushing at the fact he knew I would watch him. I was in shock about how sincere he sounded. And I was confused about how much I believed him.
"You're confused? What about me? The lowly nobody with no friends that suddenly becomes the apple of your eye. You're Blaise bloody Zabini! Most girls would - and did - give everything to have you chasing after them. And you know it! So tell me, what am I supposed to think? I'm a dreamer, believe you me, but I'm not stupid." The words came out kind of like vomit - uncontrollable and unwanted. I calmed slightly at the genuine surprise in his eyes. I had to admit, making someone like him speechless felt pretty good.
"You're one of a kind, you know that?" he said finally, beginning to walk again. I hadn't even realized we stopped.
"I've recently become aware of the fact." I smiled to myself.
"Why can't you give me a chance? Is it because you don't trust me?" he asked, frowning. I couldn't help but feel bad. He looked so innocent, so honest. So unlike what he really was.
"So tell me something about yourself," I said, surprising myself a bit. "Something no one knows."
"I'm really scared of clowns," he whispered with a straight face. I laughed. He didn't. "Your turn." I had to think about this.
"I write a lot," I said, thinking he couldn't do anything with that. But of course, he was who he was.
"What does that mean? What do you write?"
"Stories, poetry. I'm pretty good, I guess. Whatever." I shrugged. It was something I did to get my thoughts out, seeing as how I never spoke to anyone.
"That's cool. I'm not good at anything really," he replied, but he grinned despite himself. "Well, there is something I'm good at..." I rolled my eyes.
"'How can someone who spends all of their time in a world that is not real ever be happy?'" I quoted. He gave me a weird look. "When I was eight I told my mother I wanted to be a writer. That was the reply I got."
"I'm sorry," he said automatically. i just shook my head. But my attention was diverted by a flash of gold. We'd gotten really close to the Forbidden Forest and I didn't actually believe what I was seeing.
Blaise Zabini POV
I don't know why I apologized to her, but hearing someone's parent shooting down their dream kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Especially because I knew what it felt like. I was a bit out of it until I felt Georgiana grab my hand.
"Blaise, look!" she said. Her green eyes were so bright with excitement that I felt it without even knowing what we were looking at. She was slowly dragging me forward. And then I saw it. A pure gold unicorn foal was padding its way toward Georgiana's outstretched hand. I was a bit wary of going close to it in case the mother was around, so I dragged back as much as a could with her gripping my hand.
"Hey there," she said, patting its nose. "I'm sorry, I don't have any food to give you, but-" she stopped talking and gasped. Less than twenty feet away was a fully grown, pure white unicorn. And I was no animal expert, but she did not look happy.
"Georgiana, I really think we should go," I said quietly.
"Why? Are you scared of a unicorn?" she asked playfully.
"I don't know how much you know about them, but they're not too fond of people like me. They'll be fine with you, of course, because-"
"Because what?" She was now turned toward me, looking pretty angry. She was going to make me say it. "Why is it, Zabini, that the purest animal in the world would rather me than you?" I sighed.
"Because I'm not exactly a virgin, and, well, you are." I didn't quite understand her reasoning for being mad at me. She gave a 'hmph' and let go of my hand, which I didn't notice she was still holding, and walked slowly toward the mother unicorn. The foal trotted silently behind her. It seemed she totally distracted the mother from being angry because she was now approaching Georgiana.
"I didn't hurt your baby," she told the unicorn. She knelt to the ground and the mother rested her head in Georgiana's lap. I couldn't believe it. It was right out of the textbook. The unicorn came to the purest virgin girl it could find. Just thinking about that made guilt flutter around in my stomach.
After about ten minutes of sitting there, the unicorn and her foal left into the forest. Georgiana sighed and stood up, then walked back over to me.
"You don't have to say it like it's a bad thing. Just because every other girl gives it away without a second thought, doesn't mean I should too," she said, and she kept walking toward the castle.
"I never said you should!" I called, jogging up to her. "Can you not be mad at me about something so small?"
"I'm not mad." Oh. Girl's were hard to read. "Hey, thanks." Yeah, real hard to read.
"For what?" I asked. She smiled - almost smirked. Oh lord, what happened to Georgiana Robins?
"At least when I'm getting annoyed at you, my mind is off other things." She pecked me lightly on the cheek. "Goodnight." I didn't even answer. I raised my hand up to my cheek and just stood in the Entrance Hall like an idiot.
It was about eleven when I wound up in the common room. Draco was, expectedly, waiting for me.
"Everything's fine," I said, collapsing on the couch across from him.
"Not for long." He shoved a letter in my face.
Dear Draco,
I can hardly bear to write this. Aurelius is dead. Camilla couldn't even write to Georgiana. Dumbledore was informed and I believe he will tell her. Please be as accomodating as possible. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if it was your father.
Your loving mother.
I let out a deep sigh and rested my face in my hands. I was sad. But not, as I thought at that moment, because a great man was gone. I'd gotten over it before it happened. I was thinking of the girl I had seen only an hour or so before, possibly the most innocent and honest girl I'd ever met, being told that her father was gone forever. When I met Draco's eyes I saw they were red, like he'd been fighting back tears.
"Draco, you knew this was gong to happen," I said cautiously.
"It doesn't change the fact that it did." His voice was much calmer than I expected. "I swear that I will be the one to hear Stephen Waverly's last words, because I'm going to kill him." And then he got up and left the room.
I didn't go to sleep that night. I remember sitting in front of the fire until people started coming into the room. I was contemplating what Draco said. I couldn't understand him, but I wasn't going to argue. I'd never cared about someone so much that I could think of avenging their death. I know he would do it for his family, too. But my mother? Sure, I put her into hiding and kept her protected. If she died, though, I didn't think I would feel that way. That's about when it sunk in that I was a cold-hearted person.
That whole morning, I was useless. I was tired and thinking.
"Mr Zabini, do you know the difference between the words defensive and offensive?" Snape snarled at me during double Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors. Instead of shielding myself from Longbottom (and don't ask me why I was even partnered with him), I stunned him.
"Enervate!" I muttered, pointing my want at the stunned boy before me. Snape finally walked away, and I snapped out of it enough to defend myself from Longbottom's weak spells.
When the second hour was finally over, I nearly dragged myself towards the door.
"Zabini, Malfoy, stay behind." I stopped walking but didn't turn around right away. Draco, who had been ahead of me, looked at me, but gave no hint of understanding.
We made our way over to his desk.
"Draco," he began, pressing the tips of his fingers together. "Do you know what happens to someone who is truly and thoroughly pure when they are made to do something evil?" My stomach clenched. The events of last night gave me an idea who he was referring to.
"No," Draco replied, sounding very annoyed at the lack of explanation.
"Their soul leaves them. They become no more useful than one who has been kissed by a dementor. However, if they willingly do something evil, their strength is unheard of. The likelihood of ever meeting someone like this is very small. But we have the great fortune of knowing one."
"You can't mean Georgiana," I blurted out. Draco gave me a curious look.
"Yes, I can and I do. You of all people should not be surprised if you saw what I know you did last night. I happened to be taking a stroll by the lake," he replied. That made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't know if he managed to hear anything.
"But Georgiana can't be that pure. I mean, she's gotten smashed and made out with random guys," said Draco, furrowing his brow. I almost laughed at the ridiculousness of that idea.
"That is irrelevent, Draco. If she managed to have a fully grown female unicorn rest in her lap, she must have almost never intended to do something immoral without just cause. If you two plan on protecting her from the Dark Lord, you had better make sure he never finds out. He will either get her willing or lose her in the process." I was honestly worried about this situation.
"What if she were to, you know," I asked awkwardly, really hoping he got what I meant. He let out a dry chuckle.
"If you want to try, by all means do so. But I highly doubt she will ever do that with someone she does not believe herself to love. And that would make the action void as impure," explained Snape. I groaned. "Now I'm sure, Draco, with your mother's usual speed, you both already know of Aurelius. I also assume you know who did it, being that you both obviously attended yesterday's meeting."
"Maybe you should put your neck on the line for once and show up," Draco spat. It was really uncommon for him to ever blow up at Snape. "Blaise and I sit there for an hour, knowing that if we let our thoughts slip for one second then we're dead. You sit here in your cushy office and play teacher, then expect us to follow your orders?"
"I apologize if I do not share my private instructions with the both of you. The Dark Lord believes that I am playing spy for him. I play the part that is necessary for everything to work out." Draco didn't appear to calm down, but Snape turned deathly pale and opened his mouth. He was looking over our shoulders, and I turned when I heard a gasp. "Go," he said to us. I wasn't about to argue, and I ran out of the room after her.
"Georgiana!" I yelled, bolting down the empty corridors, following the sound of her footsteps. I finally cornered her in a dead end. I could see she was crying.
"I was looking for Draco. I-I needed to talk to someone. And then I overhear that you and Snape are Death Eaters too? Why did Draco lie to me?" She was shaking uncontrollably. I don't know what made me do it, but I just hugged her and let her soak my shirt. "He's gone," I heard her whisper. Dumbledore had told her, and that overwhelming guilt spread through me again.
"I would tell you it's okay, but I know it's not," I said.
"Why are you playing me?" she asked, pulling back and forcing me to look into her eyes.
"Excuse me?"
"I overheard you in the pub, talking to Parkinson and Draco about which one of you would get me. I know this is all a lie. I let myself believe it's not every once in a while, because sometimes you make that so easy." I was sincerely shocked. The Weasley had told me she overheard us, but I guess she lied.
"If you knew, why did you go along with it?" She smiled cheekily. I was surprised. She had just been crying in my arms.
"I was trying to do the same thing. I thought that I could, I don't know, somehow get you to fall for me, and then break your heart, I could get my payback along with every other girl's." Wow, did I ever underestimate her. Loner girl was playing me! That really piqued my interest. "Was it working?" she asked, biting her lip.
"I don't know," I began. She really was completely innocent. But then I had a brilliant idea. What if she did fall in love with me? Then I could save us all a lot of trouble. On the other hand, I could shatter her completely. But what if I didn't? "Hey, I've got a proposal for you."
"And what might that be?"
"Now that we're even on the dishonesty side of things, what if we really give it a shot?" She kind of gaped at me. "Seriously."
Georgiana Robins POV
My jaw just dropped.
"You better not be joking," I warned him as my heart slammed against my ribs. Every part of me that was touching him was burning and my face felt like it was on fire. I had always been a bit sure of myself, but now I was having second thoughts.
"I'm not," he said. I was already in his arms, and he started lowering his face to mine. The rational part of me was working very hard to convince my legs to run. But the other part was succeeding in convincing me I was tired of being rational. Of course I had no way of knowing if he was lying. But as Draco said, it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. Right?
(A/N: Almost ended it here... lol.)
I let him kiss me. And I mean really kiss me. I subconsciously put my arms around his neck. I finally had to pull away for air. He seemed to think I was unhappy because he tried to let go of me, but I wouldn't let him.
"I'm sorry," he said. I just smiled at him. That moment was probably one of the happiest I'd ever had.
"For what?"
"I don't know, something just kind of came over me. I didn't want to force you-" I just kissed him again so he would stop talking. I could feel his initial surprise, but he responded just like before.
"I don't let myself get forced into anything. So I guess I accept your proposal," I said. "But I have to ask you something."
"Anything," he replied.
"Did you actually notice me staring at you all these years?" I asked. He chuckled.
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, Georgiana, but stealth is not your strength," he said. I had to agree with him. I spaced out really often and probably just oggled without noticing. "How does it feel to finally have been kissed?" he asked, grinning. Draco had never told him. Interesting. I decided it most appropriate to hit him.
"Don't get cocky," I told him, looking down at my watch. "Oh my god, lunch is half over!" I cried, pushing away from him completely. He frowned slightly, and I got a shiver up my spine from loss of warmth.
"Hey, Georgiana?" he said as we approached the Great Hall.
"Yes, Blaise?" I answered, trying out his first name on my tongue.
"I'm really going to miss him too," he said, putting a hand on my back. I stiffened. I felt guilty for having forgotten about that, and I was sure I was going to start bawling again so I squeezed Blaise's hand as tight as possible and shut my eyes.
One.. Two.. Three.. I counted.
"Yeah," was all I said after I opened my eyes again.
