Brave New World

Chapter 8: It Helps to Vent

Restless. That was the word for it.

Cosima clenched and unclenched her fists as she took up her usual route pacing around the inside of her cell. She passed under a small air vent and felt the slightest of drafts drift over the back of her neck. She shivered and shrugged into her sweatshirt. She breathed heavily through her nose as her feet carried her around and around over the fluorescent white tile. She could just pick up a scent in the air that had a sweet tone to it, but it was too light for her to place.

The tension in her body had been building for hours. Leekie's words echoed in her head, pounding against the walls of her skull.

Eventually, Dr. C. finally stopped by during her morning rounds, all bright eyes and rosy cheeks. By that time, Cosima was ready to burst with all of the things that were, inch by inch, driving her up the wall.

Dr. C. slid her ID card through the slot in the keypad outside of Cosima's cell and stepped through the sliding glass door. The card swung lightly against the pristine white pocket of her lab coat. She glanced at Cosima with a tired half smile. "Pull up your sleeve for me, please."

Cosima rolled her eyes and sighed, but she complied. "Yeah, yeah. I know the drill." Cosima pushed her sweatshirt up past her elbow and thrust her arm at her. Dr. C. raised a half amused eyebrow as she pulled a pair of periwinkle latex gloves from her lab coat and snapped them on over her wrists.

Cosima allowed the doctor's hands to grasp her arm and pull a tourniquet tight around her bicep. Dr. C. hummed quietly as she went about her work, and Cosima almost immediately zoned out of the moment.

She was jerked back into reality when the junction between her upper arm and forearm was stabbed by Dr. C.'s needle. The action was severely lacking in the doc's usual, gentle finesce.

Cosima must have shown some outward sign that the needle had caused her pain, for Dr. C. granted her an apologetic twitch of the lips. "Sorry about that. They've got us working overtime on some new project; everyone's a little off their game this week."

Cosima, too tense to humor her mistake, snatched her arm back and shoved her sleeve back down. Dr. C. cast her eyes downward and stepped back out of the cell. As the door slid shut again, Cosima jogged up to the glass, struggling to hide her glower. She called out, "Could you talk to someone about turning off the air conditioner or whatever? The draft in here is driving me crazy."

Dr. C., whose short hair bounced as she turned bck to face Cosima, considered for a moment. She chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking, then nodded. "I'll see what I can do."


Cosima had returned to her usual curled-up sitting position when she heard the flow of cool air from the vent come to a stop. She hadn't realized there had been a consistent, low buzzing that had accompanied the airflow. She groaned a complaining, "Finally," before she could stop herself.

A short moment later, she heard a muffled voice. "... Cosima?"

At the sound, she jumped up and placed a hand on the wall to steady herself when her vision was briefly taken over by a film of exploding dots. She tried to take a deep breath, which triggered a short but violent series of coughs.

Still reeling slightly from the shock, when her throat once again allowed air to pass into her lungs, Cosima breathed heavily through her nose. She stepped into the middle of the cell and glanced momentarily at the glass door, knowing that there was no one just beyond to speak to her. She peered around at the luminescent walls, unable to identify where the voice had come from. It didn't seem possible. Cosima wondered if perhaps she had imagined the voice. She coughed once more and wiped her hand on the side of her pants, leaving a streaked, rust colored stain.

After a few moments, her gaze came to rest again on the air vent, and she cautiously crossed to that side of the small room and pressed herself lightly against the wall.

Hardly daring to speak aloud, Cosima licked her lips and managed, with effort, to say, "Delphine?"

She held her breath as she waited for a response; the silence that followed seemed to last a lifetime. The air in her lungs was released in a puff that wound up being more of a sob when the reply came at last.

"Yes, it's me," Delphine's voice came through the vent sounding breathy. "Are… are you alright?"

An unexpected tear made an escape from Cosima's eye, and she wiped it harshly from her cheek. Now was not the time for crying. Emotions left little room for logic.

Her lungs erupted into another burst of coughing, though fortunately this time, all that came up was air.

Just as she couldn't suppress the coughs, Cosima also couldn't smother the bitter chuckle that forced its way from her mouth. "Yeah, I've, uh… I've been better." After a second of hoping for a deflated comment from Delphine, she thought better of it and added, "Why are you even asking? Shouldn't you know? Aren't you the one who put me in here? Weren't you planning this all along?"

She surprised herself when her voice cracked.

When Delphine finally spoke again, tears were evident in her voice as well. "No! No, I didn't… I never meant…" She audibly cleared her throat and tried again. "I never meant for any of this to happen. Dr. Leekie, he came to me. He said you were in danger. I wanted to help you. It was nonsensical, I know, but it was… I was just beginning to think that I…" Cosima heard a sniff. "I never, ever meant to hurt you, Cosima."

Several more tears fell from Cosima's eyes. She slid slowly down the wall until she was awkwardly seated against it. She gripped her knees as her chest caved in on her heart. She felt as if the weight of her world was causing her body to collapse around her.

Her voice was miraculously steady given the shakiness of her breaths. She could taste the tears that seeped between her lips as she spoke. "How can I possibly believe that, Delphine?"

The answer came without hesitation, only slightly deadened by the air vent they communicated through. "It's not a lie, it's not possible! The day I met you I was just another student, just another girl trying to learn and become something. Everything we had together, that was real."

Cosima squeezed her eyes shut, but the hot saltwater slid from beneath her eyelids regardless.

Delphine continued, and Cosima could hear in her voice a certain gratitude that Cosima hadn't yelled at her or told her to stop. "Leekie came to me and offered me all of these things. He took me to the facilities, and it was all science and innovation, and I was seduced by it all. I let myself be… merde… I let myself get sucked in, I didn't ask questions. I… I didn't know what they wanted me to do until I was already too deep in it. I never, never lied to you on purpose."

Cosima dug the heels of her palms into her forehead.

She could hear Delphine choking on her own words. "I am so sorry."

Cosima was silent for a long while. She sat still. Too many words dangled on the tip of her tongue. They jostled and shoved each other, each as eager as the next to be the first out of her mouth. She couldn't decide on the right thing to say, so she said nothing.

She didn't know how long they sat like that. There was no way to know the time until Dr. C. returned to deliver her evening meal.

She was on the verge of dozing off in her uncomfortable, balled up position, when the obvious dawned on her.

She placed her hand on the wall and watched it as if she could see Delphine on the other side. Despite the lapse in which they'd both ceased to form words, she knew Delphine was listening.

"They locked you up, too."