.:Chapter 08:.

Now you've done it. You've gone and done something on an impulse because you wanted to express things that were going on with you without saying it outright. But for you, it works. Take that feeling of accomplishment and turn it into a soufflé. Just be careful when you take it out of the oven, it doesn't take much for it to deflate.


Kendall sat down on the player's bench as he looked out across the ice of the Melrose Rink Plaza. His blonde hair was matted to his forehead with sweat, his cheeks and nose were rosy, and sweat was dripping down his face into the collar of the t-shirt that he was wearing under his hockey jersey. Beside him, his phone buzzed with a text. He briefly glanced at the screen, already knowing who it was, but checking just in case.

It was Katie.

It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her; it was that he didn't want to get into another fight with her. They hardly fought as it was, so when he snapped at her and stormed off, he knew that he couldn't go back for a while, not without feeling guilty. That's what found him at the hockey rink that day, usually he only went to clear his head, this time, he was trying to get his anger and frustration out before he went back home and apologized to his sister.

"What's wrong, Kendall?" Katie had asked when Kendall walked out into the main area of their crib in the PalmWoods apartments.

Kendall had planned on going to see his father that day, so the two of them could go to a Angels game. He never cared for baseball, but he wanted to spend time with him. But then his father had called and said that he had a trial that he had to work on and that they had to reschedule. He didn't think that it would bother him as much as it would, but it was probably because he was feeling guilty of keeping it quiet from everyone for so long that was starting to catch up to him.

So he didn't mean anything by it when he snapped at Katie. "Nothing! Nothing's, wrong!"

"Yes, there is." Katie put her laptop aside and got to her knees, resting her arms on the back of the couch. She turned her hazel eyes to her brother and looked at him seriously. "I can tell. I can see it in your face." Kendall sucked in a breath through his nose, staying silent. "I can always see it in your face. You've been like that…since Dad left…"

"What are you talking about?" Kendall whipped his head to face her.

Katie took a deep breath; she could tell that Kendall was getting angrier. His fingers twitched at his sides and he was breathing deeply through his nose. If anyone ever said that Kendall was good at keeping his cool, they obviously hadn't seen him for what he really was. He was pretty good at hiding things that were bothering him, so he could focus on helping someone else, but whenever he was feeling emotional or vulnerable, or was frustrated, he couldn't hide it from anyone. He prided himself on being level-headed, but he had a tendency to fly off the handle at points as well.

"I'm…just saying that since Dad left, you seem to get angry pretty easily, especially if someone…is giving your friends a hard time." Katie swallowed thickly. "Like, that time that you beat up that guy because he was making fun of Carlos for being so sensitive."

Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"And the time that you threatened to beat up a guy that was bullying Logan. No one wanted to mess with you after that. They're also afraid of giving you bad news, because they can always see in your face that you're upset and they don't want-"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Katie." Kendall interrupted. He went over to the closet and jerked the door open so hard that it flew into the wall behind it and smacked a small hole where the doorknob was. He ignored it as he started to look for his hockey gear.

"Wearing your heart on your sleeve means that your feelings are there for everyone to see." Katie said quickly, watching as he struggled to pull his hockey stick out of the closet as it got tangled up with some hangers. "It's not a bad thing at all, Big Brother. It just means that you don't hide what you feel and your emotions are easy to read." She started to get off of the couch. "I just want to know what's wrong. Maybe I can hel-"

"Just leave me alone, Katie! God!" Kendall slammed the closet door shut and stormed out of the apartment, his hockey bag over his shoulder with his ice skates and his hockey stick in one hand.

He slammed that door behind him as well.

Kendall sighed as he leaned forward and rested his face in his hands. He didn't mean to yell at her like that. It was over something really stupid too, she just wanted to know if he was ok, and he just took his frustration out on her. He probably made her cry. That thought completely ripped his heart out. The last time he had seen her cry was when their Dad left. He hadn't seen her cry since, and the idea that he was the one that did it made him hate himself even more. He wanted to go back and apologize, but he wasn't sure if she would accept it. He didn't know why he got so mad over what she was saying, he had been told many times by James, Logan, Carlos, even his own mother, that they could always read his emotions, because he was that kind of person. He was always open with whatever he was thinking, so it was just natural that his face and body language would be open about his emotions as well.

It just wasn't the "manly thing" to do as he understood it. Men were supposed to be the kind of guys that would surprise you with their strength and what they were feeling. They weren't ever supposed to talk about it or show it. That's one of the selling pints of hockey was to him, he was able to get his anger out, to clear his head, and he got away with hitting other people while he was at it.

"I knew I'd find you here, Hockey-Head."

Kendall didn't turn as Riley sat down on the hockey bench next to him, straddling it as she faced him. "Did Katie tell you that I was here?" He asked quietly, wiping sweat off of his forehead and rubbing them on the legs of his jeans.

"Hello?" Riley reached out and lightly knocked her knuckles on the side of Kendall's head. "How many times do I have to tell you this before you actually hear me?" She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head to the side. "You're way too predictable."

Kendall shook his head, resting his arms on his legs as he hunched forward, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "I'm not in the mood for this."

"Uh-oh," Riley sat up straight, her arms still crossed over her chest. "Something's definitely up, you're never really in the mood for me to make fun of you, but you've never actually said it to me before." She tapped her chin. "I'm guessing you got into a fight with Katie?" Kendall looked at her in astonishment and she shrugged modestly. "I just put two and two together after you looked so bummed and you asked if Katie told me that you were here." She made a sound. "Plus, I was doing homework with Logie and she wasn't acting like herself." She looked at him curiously, leaning her arm on his thigh. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Kendall started to take off his gloves. "It's stupid anyway." He cracked his knuckles. "Don't you have a baseball game to watch or something?"

"Yes," Riley said. "But no one likes to watch with me, they don't like it much, so I usually just watch it on my computer or on a spare TV. But I get the updates on my phone." She leaned forward, resting her arms on her legs. "It must be serious if you don't want to talk." She gave a half smile. "This is the first time you haven't wanted to talk to me."

Kendall gave a half-smile too. "Like I said, I don't want to talk about it."

Riley respected his answer and waited as he slowly continued to take off his gear. He pulled off his hockey jersey and started to pull off the padding that was underneath. His mind was wandering as he thought about that phrase. Wearing his heart on his sleeve… Like Katie said, it wasn't a bad thing and he had been told numerous times that he did it. Maybe I should just embrace it as someone that I am. It's not like I should be ashamed of it. Then people wouldn't know to leave me alone if I'm ever in a bad mood. Kendall chuckled a little as his lips curled into an amused half smile. Carlos would know when to stop bugging me, that's for sure.

"I should get a tattoo." Kendall murmured to himself. He wasn't being serious in the slightest; he was reminded of something that his mother said once. He was young and angry at her because she said that he couldn't stay up to watch a game on ESPN. She had made the comment saying that he should just tattoo the words I'm Angry on his forehead, because he was trying so hard to hide it.

"What?" Riley asked, leaning closer to him, not sure if he had said something.

"I said I should get a tattoo." Kendall said louder. "Everyone says that I wear my heart on my sleeve, maybe I should just go ahead and get that." He stayed silent for a few moments and then looked over at Riley, who looked back at him with an odd look in her eyes. Kendall then looked down at his hockey gear and then lifted his head as he thought about it. "You know what, I really should. I should get a tattoo."

"You're going to get a tattoo?" Riley repeated. She looked a little impressed, just a tiny bit, but more curious than that. "You? Kendall Knight?"

"Yes," Kendall nodded firmly, his mind completely made up. "I'm going to get a tattoo." He started to stuff his things into his hockey bag. "I've always been interested in them, but was never sure what to get. Now I know."

"Don't you think that you should decide this when you're, I don't know, not PMSing?" Riley cracked. Kendall ignored her dig and continued to fill his bag before reaching for his skates. "Ok," Riley licked her lips, now completely unconvinced. "You do know that in California you have to be at least 18 to get a tattoo, right? Even then, you still need your parent's permission until you're twenty-one."

Kendall frowned for a moment. He hadn't thought about that. It only took him a moment to think if over before he shook his head. That didn't matter; he was going to do this. "I don't care; I'll find a way to get them to give me one without mom's permission. She'll be pissed," he said truthfully. "But I'm doing it anyway."

Riley was silent for a moment. "Well, it's a good thing you have me around then."

"Why?"

Riley wordlessly reached into her back pocket and pulled out her red and white, flower printed wallet. She opened it and flipped a few dollar bills out of the way and then pulled a folded up white sheet of paper out of the back. Sticking the paper in her mouth, she folded her wallet up and put it back into her pocket. Kendall watched as she took the paper out of her mouth and unfolded it before turning it around and handing it to him.

Kendall scanned it quickly, looking over the names and signatures that were written all over the page. He lifted his eyes to meet hers and she sighed again, knowing that he didn't understand what they were for.

"I forged your mom's signature," she explained. "We needed it in case we had to go to the doctor back when Robert was still around, they caught on quickly that we were forging Ronan's signature. And since we were working with you we figured that it would fit." she trailed off as she took the paper back from him.

Kendall nodded, shocked into silence.

"If you really want to get that tattoo, I could…"

Kendall couldn't help but laugh incredulously. "You're willing to help me lie just so I can get a tattoo?"

Riley shrugged. "If it's what you really want, then I don't see why you shouldn't get it." Her eyes flashed with mischief. "Besides, I thought you were supposed to be the bad boy."

Kendall's lips curved into a smirk as well. "Who said I wasn't?" He asked with a false bravado. Riley leaned forward and grabbed his Vans from his bag and handed them to him as he got his skates off of his feet. He took them and quickly pulled them on, not bothering to tighten them before he stood up, grabbing his bag and stick. "Come on."

"Do you know what tattoo parlor you're going to go to, Eyebrows?" Riley asked as she stood up. Kendall noticed that her nose was red and briefly wondered why she wasn't complaining about the cold like she usually did.

"No." Kendall started to climb up the bleachers to leave the rink.

"Do you know what colors you want?"

"No."

"Do you know how you're going to hide it from your family until it heals?'

"No."

Riley hurried after him and grabbed onto his arm. "Maybe we should talk about this first." She peered at him as she thought for a minute. "Did you walk here?"

"I took the bus." Kendall said.

"Ok, then after we talk, to be sure that this is what you really want, then I'll drive you over to the parlor myself. Deal?" She stuck out her hand.

Kendall grinned and grabbed onto it. "Deal." He looked at her and then looked out on the ice. "Actually, since you're doing this for me, I'm going to get you over your stupid thing with hockey." He grabbed onto his hockey stick and held it out to her.

Riley shook her head once. "No."

"Yes," Kendall grabbed onto her arm and dragged her out on the ice, their shoes making them slip slightly. "All you have to do is get one goal." He instructed, thrusting the stick at her again. "It's not hard, and you don't have to worry, I'm not going to smash you into the boards."

"You better not, Hockey-Head." Riley warned him, hesitantly taking the stick. She eyed it warily before holding it in both of her hands. She then gently placed it onto the ice as Kendall went back to his bag to get a hockey puck. "So what do I do?" She asked.

"Just follow everything I tell you," Kendall instructed. He placed the puck on the ice in front of Riley's stick and backed up a few paces. "Ok, so just take the puck down to the goal and take a shot." He said. He gave an encouraging nod when Riley hesitantly looked at him again. She let out a sigh and started across the ice, holding onto the stick. "Head up!" He called helpfully, noticing that she kept her gaze on her shoes, probably to keep from falling. She wasn't moving that quickly either. "Head up!"

"How can I keep my head up and look at the puck at the same time?" Riley asked, already sounding exasperated. She slowed to a snail's pace as she carefully lifted her head. "And I feel like I'm going to fall every time I take a step!"

"Forget that!" Kendall waved a hand. "Feel the puck, on your stick." He said helpfully.

"I am feeling the puck!" Riley snapped back, not being one that liked being told what to do. She stopped and stabbed the air with her stick. "Slipping Away!" She threw her free hand into the air as she scowled. "Who invented this insane game, anyway?"

"Apparently the same people that want to torture you," Kendall laughed. He then gave an exaggerated thumbs up. "But you're doing great."

"Really?" Riley matched his sarcastic tone with a sneer. "Thanks." When she dropped the stick back down to the ice, she managed to hit the puck, causing it to slide away from her and towards the boards.

"Chase the puck!" Kendall called, his voice echoing over the empty arena. "Chase it!"

Riley gave him the finger. "You fucking chase it," she declared, pointing at the puck with her stick. He could tell from looking at her that she wasn't going to budge. "You're the hockey player!"

"Penalty!" Kendall placed his hands on his hips. From the smile that was on his face, Riley could tell that he was enjoying this a little too much. Oh yeah, he was enjoying it. It was one of the few times that he could be the one that barked the orders and treated someone badly, just like Gustavo did to them. Of course he wasn't going to be as bad as Gustavo, but it was still nice. "Unsportsmanlike conduct, giving her hockey instructor verbal abuse without adequate provocation, called on Jackson-" Riley glared at Kendall and he smiled. "Excuse me, Jackson-McGuire, for Sydney, Australia." He pointed to the side. "To the penalty box, for two minutes. Now!"

Riley's mouth dropped open in shock. "You can't be serious." She tightened her grip on the hockey stick.

"You see, one of your many problems is that you think you know me far better than you actually know me. " Kendall grinned, crossing his arms over his chest, using her words against her. "Because, as it happens, I'm being entirely serious."

"Hey!" Riley stomped her foot on the ice. "You can't use my snark against me, I copyrighted it!" She turned and walked over to the puck that was sitting harmlessly on the ice. "I'm sick of this game! I'm sick of the cold! I'm sick of you! And I'm sick and tired of your fucking obsession with this FUCKING SPORT!" She smacked the hockey stick down onto the puck and watched as it went flying into the goal. She turned back around with a smug smile on her face. "How was that?"

"Not bad." Kendall shrugged.

"Not bad?" Riley lifted her chin and gave a toothy smile. "I rocked and you know it." She was practically glowing.

"You were adequate," Kendall said. He wanted to knock her ego down a peg or two, even though he knew that she was joking.

She tossed the stick to the ice and pointing her thumbs at herself before resting her hands on her hips. "I was ace."

"I liked you better when you were unsure of yourself," Kendall teased. "You didn't have as big a ego."

"Bull," Riley contradicted him. "You probably like me more now." Her smile was infectious. "After my amazing goal." She then raised an eyebrow as she pointed at him. "And I don't have an ego."

"You wish." Kendall laughed.

She laughed before looking at her watch. "It's getting late. We should go now."

Kendall tucked his hands into his jeans pockets. "All right."


"Could we get two virgin Fuzzy Navels? Thanks." Riley asked the waiter that stood over her and Kendall, snatching the menu from Kendall's hand. She passed it over to the waiter before reaching into her pocket to place a few dollar bills on the table. "I never understood why Americans like to pay tips." She muttered under her breath.

After ignoring Kendall's constant 'thank you's' of her offering to drive him, she decided to stop at a small restaurant before they went to the tattoo parlor. There were a lot of things that he needed to know about getting a tattoo; most of it had to do with his public image as well as to how fans were going to respond to it. If he and the other boys lost fans over something as stupid as they cutting their hair, then he could lose fans over getting a tattoo. And then there was going to be the backlash from the parents and everything…It was bad enough the things that were swirling about them now, but with that added on it to, she wasn't sure if he could handle it.

"They don't do that in Australia?" Kendall asked as he leaned back in his seat in defeat. He wasn't going to get that menu back; he noted as he watched the waiter walk away.

"No," Riley shook her head. "You get paid by the hour or whatever your wages are, and you just give friendly service with a smile. We don't tip. Never really saw the point." She leaned back in her seat, brushing her hair out of her face. "Now, why do you want to get a tattoo?"

"How come I can't get something to eat?" Kendall asked, his stomach growling as he waited a waitress walk by, carrying two plates of steak.

"If you really want to get a tattoo, I don't want your nerves to get the better of you." Riley said calmly as she crossed her legs. "Full stomach plus nerves don't equal a very great tattooing experience." The corner of her mouth twitched up. "I know that from experience."

"Good to know," Kendall stretched his legs out underneath the table, resting his hands on his stomach. "What made you get a tattoo?"

"Two reasons," Riley held her right hand up in the peace sign. "One, because I love tattoos, and two, because it pissed off my dad." She said, speaking of her then foster father, Robert Jackson. She paused. "I guess I like the idea of the permanence of tattoos. A tattoo is something that nobody could ever take from you, that you would have with you wherever you went, that you would have until the day you died. They were eternally yours."

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, I guess I understand that." He shrugged. "It goes with your image as well." Riley gave a short salute, letting him know that he was partially right. With her and her siblings' (Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney) band, the DarkElements, being in the rock genre of music (alternative, heavy metal, scream, hard, pop, punk, etc.) he wasn't that surprised when he first met them to know that they had tattoos. All five of them had barbed wire tattooed around their right ankle, he was impressed when he first saw them, but was even more impressed when he found out that they had more of them. "How many do you have now?" He asked.

"Barbed wire on my foot, a nautical star on my hip, a fireball on my right shoulder, and a black dragon under that." She said, showing off each one. "Right after we got our first tattoos together, the first thing that we did when we got home was look at them in the mirror. After that, we got pretty hooked and got some more." She squinted an eye shut as she thought for a moment. "Though, I think, so far, I have the most."

"You like tattoos that much, huh?" Kendall laughed.

"Oh yeah," Riley agreed with a joking tone. "Tattoos are a real turn on for me." She smiled and thanked the waiter as he came back with their drinks and quickly took a sip. She swallowed and then looked at him seriously. "Alright, why do you really want to get a tattoo?"

Kendall took a sip of his Fuzzy Naval and thought about it as he allowed the slush-liquid mixture to melt on his tongue. He swallowed it and continued to stay silent as he thought about it. There were a lot of reasons why, what would be the best answer for that question?

"'Cause, frankly, I think that this is a really stupid idea if you don't have a meaning or a reasoning behind it," Riley continued, breaking him out his thoughts. "But you can be a boofhead, Hockey-Head, so I don't really see how I'm surprised by that."

Well, that was a complete 180. Kendall rolled his eyes. "Don't hold back, Riles, tell me how you really feel."

"Only because I don't think that you've thought through what the repercussions are going to be," Riley said helpfully. "I mean, we already established your mom is going to be pissed. My brothers and sister will love it, I can tell you that much. James might be jealous because he didn't get it first, and I think Logan will worry. Carlos won't really care. But your main problem, Kendall, is Gustavo and Kelly as well as your fans." She shook her head. "Though it's part of our image, we got a lot of backlash when we got our tattoos. People said that we were sinners, we were going to hell, that we were setting a bad example. It'll be worse since you're a pop star and you're supposed to have this squeaky clean image."

"That's a load of bullshit," Kendall said seriously. "Besides, who cares what those people think? It's not their life, it's mine."

"Wow," Riley looked impressed as she smirked at him. "So you finally cursed." She brushed her strand of red hair behind her ear. "Have you thought about infections?"

"I'm sure Logan will help make sure whatever body part I get tattooed doesn't fall off," Kendall said. He was a bit worried about it, though. He had seen a documentary on TV how someone had gotten a tattoo and it had gotten infected very fast. Granted, it was because the person got it from their friend in the basement when they were drunk. He knew that Logan would help him though, no matter how freaked he would be at first, Logan would make sure that Kendall was doing everything right to be sure that his tattoo healed properly.

Riley finished her drink and pushed the glass away from her. "Well, tattoos cost anywhere from fifty bucks on up, so if you need help paying for it, then I won't mind as long as you pay me back."

Kendall looked at her skeptically. "You're going to help me pay for it?"

Riley shrugged. "You said that you're serious about it. If you really are, then I have problem with it. Now," she leaned forward and held up her right hand, black studded wrist band shinning as she did so. "Are you sure that you're going to go through with this?"

Kendall thought about it once more, weighing the pros and cons in his head. He slowly smiled and then nodded as he sat up straight. "Yeah, I'm going to go through with it!"

"Beauty!" Riley cheered and gave him a high-five. "Let's go right now."


"So what are you looking at getting today?" The owner of Ink Sessions Tattoo asked as he stood behind the front desk of the parlor. "We have some openings today, so we can take you as a walk-in." He looked back and forth between Riley and Kendall. "Which one of you is getting it?"

"He is," Riley pushed Kendall forward. "He's getting his first tattoo today."

"A virgin, huh?" The owner grinned and held out his hand towards Kendall, his arm covered in intricate designs of tattoos. "That's cool; I don't have anyone that I'm working on anytime soon, so I'll take you myself. Name's Wes."

"Kendall." Kendall took his hand and shook it firmly. "Well, I had an idea of getting a tattoo of a heart on my sleeve, and I want it literally on my shoulder, where a shirt sleeve would be." He pointed to his left arm. "But I want it to be stitched up, not broken." He paused and looked over at Riley, who nodded back at him. "'Cause, I guess I was heartbroken when my Dad left me, my mom, and my sister, and with help from my friends, I'm getting better." He felt something twinge inside him and knew that it was his guilt taking over once more. But it wasn't like it wasn't true; he did feel that way when his father left them.

"That's awesome man," Wes said as he shook his head. "That's a really cool reason; he can't get to you or hurt you anymore. I know how you feel," he scratched his forehead. "My mom left us when I was young too, but I made peace with it." He smiled once more. "You have a pic for me?"

"Yep." Riley reached into her front pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Before leaving the restaurant, Riley got Kendall to describe the tattoo that he wanted and she quickly drew it out. Now she slapped it onto the counter. "Here you go, mate."

"That's really sick," Wes said as he looked it over. "Nice drawing, girly. Give me a few minutes to sketch it out and then we'll get started."

"Cool, thanks." Kendall nodded and backed away from the counter, looking over the tattoo shop as Riley went to sit down in one of the empty seats that were in the front.

Kendall walked along the walls of tattoos, looking at each of them for a few minutes before moving onto the next one. It was all so fascinating; he couldn't understand why so many people thought that tattoos were a bad thing. It was a different kind of art and it was always interesting to see how the tattoo artist put their own flair and art style into each tattoo that they made. After what seemed like forever Wes finally approached him, clapping him hard on the shoulder in his own excitement to be giving someone their first tattoo.

"Ready?" he asks and at the younger boy's nod he gestures with his large hand. "Come on back."

Leading the way, Wes plopped into a nearby chair and reached into a cabinet. Pulling out a small clip board he handed it to Kendall, who was sitting in the other chair, Riley standing at his side. "You wanna read and sign that. And I need your ID." Kendall handed it over and watched yet again as the man left, then read and signed the contract, of which made him a bit more nervous than he had originally been. "Sorry, policy, ya know?" Kendall nodded, running his hands up and down his thighs. He licked his lips as he looked around. Buzzing filled his ears as the other tattoo artists worked on their clients. Like it was nothing.

"You're 18 right?" Wes asked as he looked up from the ID. "Do you have parental permission to do this?"

Kendall nodded once more and reached into his jeans pocket. With shaking hands, he pulled out the sheet of paper with his mother's forged signature on it and handed it over to Wes. Wes took it and looked it over for a few moments. Kendall was suddenly aware that his heart was thudding against his chest.

Finally, Wes nodded and moved it aside, putting gloves on his hands. "So where do you want it? Left bicep, right?"

"Right." Kendall agreed.

"Thought so," Wes grinned, and then patted the tattoo table. "You wanna lie down?" Kendall looked, seeing the generously padded table and he did as he was told.

He watched as Wes took the nearly clear sheet, of which the ink version of the heart was on, and wet it. He paused a moment, waiting for Kendall to remove his left side from his shirt. Wes placed the sheet in the proper spot, wetting about it with a wet paper towel. After a moment he pulled the sheet off, "You want to go look at that real quick?"

Kendall walked over to one of the floor length mirrors, holding his shirt to the side so it didn't fall into the ink. Turning o to the side, he was surprised at how good it look. Walking back over to the table he asked, "What do you think?"

"Hot," Riley stated with a nod of her head and a smirk, so Kendall wasn't sure whether or not she was joking. "Really cool."

Kendall rolled his eyes before lying back down. He watched as the needle was hooked to another machine, "I'm just gonna do one line for now," Wes said as he dipped the tip into black ink. "Let you see just how it feels, okay? Then I'm just gonna go right through." Kendall closed his eyes, his heart speeding at the sound of the buzzing needle being so close to him. So very close to him. About to permanently brand him for life. He opened his eyes when he felt a shadow fall over him and noticed that Riley had moved closer and was standing next to him.

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" She asked with a mischievous glint in her blue eyes, the smirk still present on her face. "I won't think any less of you if you need it, Hockey-Head," She added.

"No!" Kendall practically spat, his cheeks flushing red. But he nearly jumped as he felt the needle go into his soft skin. It hurt, no doubt about it, but it didn't hurt 'that' bad. He had heard from a lot of people that it hurt like crazy, and for others it'd didn't hurt in the slightest. It depended on the person's pain tolerance as well as where they got the tattoo. Kendall was relieved that it didn't hurt that badly, but it still made him uncomfortable. "Ok, yes!" He held his hand out and Riley placed her smaller one into his, holding onto it tightly.

Once Kendall relaxed; Wes began to speed right through it. His eyes intent upon his ink-art. Getting into his work he started to ask Kendall some questions, just to take his mind off of what was going on. "So," Wes said after a moment. "What color do you want this to be?"

"Red and Black are fine." Kendall replied.

He missed Wes glance over at Riley before looking back down at his work, laughing to himself quietly. Kendall glanced down to see his unfinished tattoo, and then winced as he saw the needle go in and out of his skin. Instinctively, he squeezed tighter onto Riley's hand, but whether or not it hurt her, he didn't know, as she didn't say anything. Her eyes were trained on the tattoo that was being created before her eyes, a soft smile on her face. Wes reached up with a paper towel and wiped away some blood and ink before he continued.

All was silent as Wes finished up the color and shading. Kendall closed his eyes as he felt the needle continue to move across his skin. He wasn't sure how long that he had his eyes closed, or how long he was at the shop before Wes had finished. It seemed to go by pretty quickly, but he knew that it had to have taken a bit to get his done.

"Go check it out." Wes said as he started to clean up his stuff. "What do you think?"

Kendall slowly got off of the table, noticing that his arm was hurting a little before walking over to the mirror, still holding onto Riley's hand. He let go and turned to the side so he could get a good look. His mouth dropped open and his green eyes widened. It was exactly what he wanted. The heart was big and took up most of his bicep, it was stitched down in the middle where it would be broken, and the needle was sitting off to the side, still attached to the heart by its thread. The color was vibrant and the black border around the red made it all better.

"It's amazing!" he said. "It's…wow…its better than I thought it was going to be." He grinned as he went back over to Wes.

Wes started to bandage up the tattoo, working carefully. "You need to keep this on the next three to four hours, when you take it off for the next two weeks or so you need to put some Neosporin or tattoo goo or Vitamin A and D gel on it twice a day. To keep it damp ya know, so it won't lose color and fade." He finished bandaging it and then leaned back in his chair. "When it starts to itch, and it will, because that's the dead skin coming off, don't scratch or you'll scar and pick out the color. After a month or so and you want to come back and get a touch up, it's free." He smiled. "Got it?"

Kendall nodded, paid Wes, and then left the tattoo parlor with the biggest smile on his face. "Wow," he said as he touched the bandage. "I can't believe I got it."

"Frankly, I can't believe you did either." Riley said as she walked next to him, digging her car keys out of her pocket. "But you're branded now, and let me tell you, it's not going to be your last one. Getting tattoos is definitely addicting." She couldn't hide the excited smile that crept up onto her face. "I can't wait until the others see it."

"Well, if I ever go to get another one, you have to come with me on that one," Kendall stopped walking, flipping his blonde hair out of his face. The light breeze blew it back, but he didn't mind. He stretched out his right pinkie finger and looked at her earnestly.

Riley snorted. "Don't you think that we're a bit old to be doing the whole 'pinkie-promise' thing?" She asked in a condescending tone.

"I'm on an adrenaline high after getting my first tattoo, excuse me." Kendall defended himself flippantly. "But you have to make the deal." He insisted. "The next one you get or the next one I get, we have to go with each other. Deal?" He asked again, extending his pinkie into her face, wiggling it around.

Riley shook her head. "You're a trip, Kendall Knight." She hooked her pinkie around his, flashing the dark red nail polish that she was wearing. "Deal."

Kendall couldn't help himself, he reached out and gave her a light hug, squeezing her tightly before letting go and slowly peeling off his bandage so he could look at the tattoo once more. "I seriously can't believe I got it." He turned his gaze to Riley. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "I don't think I'd ever be able to get it without you coming with me."

"And that's why you like me so much," Riley said as she flipped her strand of red hair out of her eyes. She leaned forward and looked at the new ink on his bicep once more. She studied it for a moment before turning back to Kendall and smiling at him. "Because I keep your life interesting."

"You got that right," Kendall agreed.

The two got back into Riley's car and they drove to the PalmWoods. She received multiple yelps and pointed looks from Kendall while she drove one-handed for a moment to get her phone. She put it into the cradle and then pushed a button on the phone, instructing it to call home.

"Hey Ri-Ri," Sydney's voice came on the line. "What's up?"

"Guess what?" Riley replied.

"Umm." Sydney made a 'hm' sound before he tried to guess. "You stopped at Maccas and are bringing us back some food?"

"I think that just proves that we like it too much." Riley laughed. "No, I'm with Kendall, yeah, and he just got a tattoo."

"No way!" Sydney cried. Seconds later, he could be heard relaying the information and then Rhuben, Patrick, and Noah were on the line as well.

"What'd he get?" Rhuben asked. She then sounded suspicious and amused at the same time. "More importantly, how'd you talk him into it?"

"I didn't talk him into anything," Riley defended herself. "He made the decision, he paid for it, and it's his tattoo." She checked over her shoulder before she changed lanes, her eyes on the speedometer. "But wait until you guys see it, it's perfect for him. You'll love it."

"You know what I'd love?" Patrick asked. "Seeing Mama Knight's reaction when she sees it."

"Yeah, well, it'll be Kendall's decision to tell her and until then, we have to pretend like we don't know a thing."

"That's not a stretch," Noah remarked.

Riley laughed again and said goodbye to her brothers and sister before hanging up the phone. Kendall continued to lightly poke himself on the arm where the bandage was. It was going to take a while for him to get used to the fact that he had a tattoo. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to hide it for a while. From his mother, that might be hard since she noticed everything, but from the others, he knew that it would be pretty simple. When they arrived at the PalmWoods, instead of going up to the crib, Kendall went into the PalmWoods Park and laid down on the grass. Riley lay down next to him, taking off her shoes and socks as she did so.

He briefly closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, allowing the sun to fall over his face, before he opened his eyes, squinting against the light.

"You know people are going to go ape shit over the fact that you got a tattoo," Riley commented. "Especially since I was the one that went with you to get it." She rested her hands on her stomach. "Did you know that there's a rumor that I'm pregnant with James's kid but you're opting to act like a father figure to it?"

"No way!" Kendall's eyes flashed open. "You're not serious!"

"Not in the slight," Riley said with a little laugh. "I just wanted to freak you out as much as playing hockey annoyed me today."

"That's just because you're terrible at it," Kendall said, closing his eyes again. "And now here you are, lying in the grass at the PalmWoods Park with your best friend, trying to make him have a heart attack."

"A girl could do a lot worse," Riley said.

"Please." Kendall squinted his eyes as he looked at the sky once more. "I know you too well; you can't possibly tell me that there isn't any other guy that you would rather be out here with." He waited patiently for her answer.

"Ok, you got me." Riley paused for a moment. "Freddie Highmore."

Kendall burst out laughing. "Yeah, right!"

Riley arched an eyebrow. "You don't approve?"

"Not that." Kendall turned his head to the side so he could look at her. Her eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted as she gently breathed through them. He thought about what happened when they had gone to the pool, they hadn't talked about it since then and he wasn't sure how she felt about what had…almost happened. "I was thinking of more in the realm of the possible."

Kendall watched Riley turn her head until her cheek was resting in her hand before flipping onto her side. She looked like a little girl, her cheek bunched up against her palm. She stuck her knee out to the side, and he worked to keep his eyes away from the smooth curve of her hips, a good section of her skin poking out from under the midriff shirt that she was wearing under her vest. It had shocked the boys at first to see her, after they had gotten back from tour, and saw that she changed he style slightly to start wearing midriff shirts, but it worked with her style well. Kendall's eyes briefly looked at the nautical star tattoo on her right hip before he chose to focus on her face, just right above her eyes. He turned onto his side, mirroring her position.

Her breath huffed out in only a way that Riley could that showed her annoyance and amusement ant his constant questions. "What is this, an inquisition?" She rolled onto her stomach, propping herself up onto her arms

Kendall rolled on his stomach next to her, their sides brushing. Her skin was warm, and the feel of her smooth skin against his leg stoked a fire in his belly.

"No, just a question," he replied.

"Yeah, well." Riley shrugged and then flushed lightly. "Best friends are nothing to sneeze at." She suddenly looked serious. "You know I would always watch Rhu and Logan when we were kids and at times I was envious of what they had." She cracked her knuckles. "Don't get me wrong, Logie-Bear and I were best friends, as you could be when you were kids, but I always knew that they had something deeper." She lightly nudged him. "Like you and I do."

Kendall smiled.

"I mean, all of you guys are my best friends for a reason, but you and I are closer."

Then his smile faded. He knew that this was the time that he should tell her the truth about what had been going on between him and his father. "Riles, listen, I need to tell you something," he said slowly. "And I'm telling you because I'm not sure how anyone else is going to react. I-"

He then let out a cry when the sprinklers suddenly shut on, soaking him. Beside him, Riley rolled over on top of him before quickly leapt to her feet, running her hands over her face. She tried, in vain, to keep the water out of her eyes. "Geez! I can't see!" She started to whip her head back and forth. "Where are my shoes?"

Kendall reached down and scooped them up, dangling them in front of his face. "Not so tough now, are you?" He teased.

"Give it!" Riley lunged for them but Kendall backed up a few spaces, running away from her. Riley raced after him, laughing and shouting at him to give her shoes back at the same time. Kendall continued to pull the shoes away, running back and forth through the sprinklers.

"You're going to have to try harder than that to get them-"he stopped when he was suddenly flung onto his back, causing him to grunt when he hit the ground. Riley was lying on top of him and grabbed the shoes from his hand with a triumphant smirk. "Back." He finished. "You moved a lot faster than I thought you would."

"That's what happens when I have four brothers and a Ronan and essentially live in a frat house," Riley grinned down into his face. "Rhu and I are a lot stronger and faster than we look." She grinned devilishly into his face. "I don't bite."

Kendall gave a devilish smirk before he flipped her over and used one hand to pin her to the ground, the other digging into her ribs and stomach, causing her to laugh hysterically. His face dripping with water from the sprinklers, he continued to move his hands over her sides, as Riley continued to laugh. Her desperate pleas were barely audible over her laughter, which only encouraged Kendall to move his fingers faster and faster over her. All she could do was laugh helplessly and jerk around, trying her hardest to throw her best friend off of her.

"Do you give up?" Kendall asked, his eyes flashing. He then noticed that Riley had stopped squirming under him and was moving her hand around her neck, her eyes wide. Her mood had switched quickly from fun to fear. "What's wrong?"

"My necklace," she said. "I can't find it!" She pushed Kendall off of her and got to her knees and started to crawl over the ground, moving her hands rapidly back and forth. "Help me find it!" Kendall had never heard such desperation in her voice as she continued to look for the piece of jewelry.

"What'd it look like?" He dropped to his knees and started to look as well.

"Silver, shaped like a guitar pick, has red flames on it." Riley quickly shuffled across the ground like a man possessed as she continued to look for it. "Where is it? Where is it?"

Kendall got to his knees and started to search through the grass as well. There were a few times where he would find a nickel or some other piece of metal that would shine in the light and he thought he had found it. He was starting to lose hope in finding it when he looked back where they had originally been when the sprinklers went off and he found it lying in the grass. He couldn't help but feel relieved when her eyes lit up when he held it out to her.

Then her face fell as she reached out to grab the necklace. She looked at it as if she was in a trance. "I got this when I was born. Rhu got a cross, Patrick got thunder bolts, Noah got little wings, Sydney got dog tags, and Julius got a paw print. It always reminded me of when I was a kid. I never worried about the future or the past and I never worried about what was going to happen to my family if I wasn't there." She put the necklace back on. "A lot of the times I wish I could go back to being nine years old, before my parents died. Things were so much better then."

"How are things now?" Kendall asked.

"Not as good as back then," Riley replied. "I mean, I'm glad I met you guys but…" she trailed off, lowering her gaze. "Kendall?" Riley was looking at her feet, her hair covering her face. "Would you think of me any differently if I cried?"

"No," Kendall said honestly. "In fact, I would think that you would be even stronger just because you cried."

"Good." Riley lifted her head. Tears were falling down her cheeks and her lower jaw was trembling. "Because I don't think that I can hold it in any longer." She closed her eyes and started to cry. Kendall moved forward and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "Don't let go," she whimpered against his chest. "Please don't let go."

"I won't," Kendall promised.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Riley mumbled.

"I haven't yet."


Kendall sighed warily as he walked into the apartment. He wanted nothing but to get out of his wet clothes, into some dry ones, and watch some hockey on TV. He was tired, but it was a long day. He got a tattoo, was able to spend the day with his best friend, and now-

He paused when he noticed that James, Logan, and Carlos were all gathered on the couch, leaning over something that was on Carlos's lap. "What are you doing?" He asked.

Carlos let out a scream and threw the thing into the air as James and Logan sat up straight, eyes wide. Kendall noticed the guilty expression that slid over Logan's face and then the fact that Carlos had tried to dive into the couch, half in the cushions, half out, and James was giving Kendall a wide grin.

"Hey Kendall!" James got up from the couch and started to walk over to Kendall. "Hey, I have an idea, let's go mess with Bitters!" He put his arm around Kendall's shoulders and started to push him out of the room. "Doesn't that sound like fun to you?"

"Why are you guys acting so goofy?" Kendall asked. "More than usual, I mean."

"Wait, what's that on your arm?" James asked, pointing to the small bit of bandage that was poking out from underneath Kendall's sleeve. Kendall quickly pulled his arm back, but James stepped forward, trying to get a better look at it. "What happened? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Kendall said quickly. He looked down at his arm and then back up at James. "I don't think my arm is any of your business," he added sharply. James raised an eyebrow as he looked at his best friend. He licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, causing Kendall to mimic James's movements, though he winced at the pain in his arm. "What?"

"What are you hiding?" James asked, leaning forward so Kendall leaned back. He narrowed his hazel eyes.

Kendall's breath caught in this throat. He tried to think of a way to get out of answering James's question and then turned his gaze back to Logan and Carlos. Carlos was still trying to hide whatever it was that he was holding on to, and Logan was watching Kendall and James curiously, also staring at the bandage on Kendall's arm. "What are you hiding?" He shot back.

"We weren't looking at Riley's notebook!" Carlos blurted, puling himself out from the couch.

"Carlos!" Logan reached out and smacked Carlos on the back of the head before shoving him to the floor. He flipped over and landed on the hardwood floor with a loud thud and a curse as he smacked his knee cap.

"What?" Carlos looked up at Logan. "I said we weren't looking at her notebook."

"Because that's believable!" Logan rolled his eyes. He sighed loudly before standing up and going to retrieve the notebook from behind the couch. He picked it up and held it out to James. "She left it when she came over to do homework and…I guess we got a little curious."

"Seems to me you were more than a little curious," Kendall remarked, looking at the state of the notebook.

"Can I help it that I was trying to figure out how good looking she really thought I was?" James asked, trying to change the subject once more. "Now, did I hear you say that you wanted to go mess with Bitters?" He grinned. "I think I did! So, let's go and-"

Kendall looked at James and he fell silent. Kendall took the notebook from Logan's hand and tossed it over to Carlos. "Well," he said slowly. "You were already looking at it, so it can't be that bad if you keep reading a little more." He couldn't help but be a little curious himself.

Even when his sister had a diary, which was only for a couple of months when she was younger, he constantly wondered what she was writing in it and what was causing her to giggle like a madman while she wrote in it. He should have known that it was different plans for economic success, but it did take over his every thought for a while. Then he found out that looking through someone's diary was about as bad as going through his mother's purse when he wasn't asked to first, it was a mistake that he never wanted to make again.

But it was just too tempting.

"Ok," Carlos opened it and flipped a few pages. "Notes, notes, boring, boring, song lyrics, song lyrics. Oh!" He went back to the couch and opened the notebook, resting it on his lap. "This was from…not that long ago. When we got back from tour I think." He cleared his throat as Logan, James, and Kendall walked over to the couch. Kendall put his hands in his jeans pockets and leaned against the couch, listening.

"The problem was…I really liked Kendall." Carlos blinked and he pulled the notebook away from him, double checking what he had read and then started reading again. "He liked me too, at least, at one point he did. But I was jumpy about any topic that might lead to his asking about how much trouble Rhubes and I had gotten into when we were back home."

Logan and James exchanged glances.

"That was something that I wasn't even comfortable telling Logan yet. It took me a while to tell Ronan and that was only because he was there for some of it. I know that Kendall senses that I'm hiding things; there's always something I'm hiding from him, so that made him a bit suspicious. But we're still best friends. Obviously, like I had originally planned, it would have been better to avoid him and his friends. But come on, Logie was my best friend since we were 8 and they've helped us through so much, so how was I going to be able to avoid them.

Especially when we were on tour together. I guess that was my saving grace, this time we didn't go on tour with them. I didn't think that I would miss them that much, but I did. It was good to see them again when they got back, but I should have known that with me and my siblings around, things weren't going to stay happy for long. Something always has to happen when we're around. We thought of it as a joke at first a 'Jackson Curse' but sometimes I think it's real."

Carlos turned a couple pages over, briefly scanning them before he turned the page. It was either songlyrics, random notes, or it was simply just not as interesting as the other things that he had red. He frowned when he reached the back and then went back to the front, flipping through some of the pages once more. When he found something, he set the notebook on his lap and started to read again.

"The fact that I killed a man was really putting a crimp in my love life. Ok, well, I didn't really kill him, but I hurt him badly. I don't even know what happened; first he was giving me back my wallet and the next thing I know, he was on the ground and I was covered in blood. I'm glad that the family didn't press charges and we got things dropped quickly so the press didn't find out. It's bad enough that I'm bipolar, but to have that tacked onto what's going on with Robert, it just makes me wonder if we really are crazy.

" It seems to only be affecting me and Rhubes and if we're lucky, it won't affect Pat, No, or Syd, we're going to have to watch them closely now. I've been diagnosed with it for a while, but it's still weird to think about. The things that I do, I don't mean, and people think it's cool. So I made it a part of my image. I don't like it much, but it's a way to make things easier, to have an explanation for it.

"Typically, a manic phase of bipolar disorder will last six to nine months, during which time the person with bipolar disorder will act out of character and seem off," explains Dr. Corá. A person with bipolar disorder will go through episodes of mania (highs) and at other times experience episodes of depression (lows). These aren't the normal periods of happiness and sadness that everyone experiences from time to time. Instead, these episodes are intense or severe mood swings, like a pendulum that keeps arcing higher and higher.

"So now he doctors want me to write down any instance I feel or exhibit any of these symptoms." He cleared his throat before he continued. "Racing speech and thoughts, increased energy, decreased need for sleep, elevated mood and exaggerated optimism, increased physical and mental activity, excessive irritability, aggressive behavior, and impatience, hypersexuality, increased sexual thoughts, feeling or behaviors; use of sexual language, reckless behavior, like excessive spending, making rash decisions, and erratic driving, difficulty concentrating, and inflated sense of self-importance," Carlos read aloud.

"Stop!" Kendall reached over and took the notebook from Carlos's hands, closing it. Kendall closed his eyes for a brief moment before tossing the notebook aside. "I can't do this bet anymore." He said. "It's not even worth it if I had to go and do something like this to win." He shook his head. "Not if it's going to hurt her."

He turned and looked at his friends seriously.

"I don't care about the stupid bet anymore, I quit."


A/N: After I had written Heart on My Sleeve and xosasasara asked for there to be more, I realized that I could fit it into this fic with a few additions. So thank you for that! I hope you guys liked this chapter.

Cheers,

-Riles