Chapter 8: Friends
The next morning, TJ opened his eyes to see Karli facing him, still sleeping. Her lips were still in a thin line but for the moment she looked more peaceful than anything with her eyes shut and the light rise and fall of her chest. Slowly rolling over on his back so not to wake her, he stared at the ceiling and thought about the night before. He started to think about how Michelle acted at the club and started to piece it together. Karli and I did dance more than she did with Michelle and a couple times Michelle's eyes drifted towards looking at other girls. If I noticed that shouldn't I have said something?
Suddenly a throat cleared and he turned his head to look at her, soft blue eyes open and staring at him. "Hey" he said, smiling.
"Hi" she answered.
"How you feeling today?"
"Still pretty idiotic" she replied before slowly sitting up, "I'm sorry I just kinda barged in on you last night. I didn't even call or anything just showed up."
"I was just going to bed anyway" he replied.
"Still, I don't want this to change how you see me. I'm still here to help you and—"
"Save the speech" TJ interrupted, "It'll only be awkward if you make it awkward."
Smiling, Karli glanced down at the clothes she wore then back at him, "So, would you mind terribly if I borrowed these? Don't really want to wear my costume again. It's kinda wrecked thanks to the rain."
Grinning he said, "Keep 'em. I got plenty."
"I'm honestly surprised the shirt fits," she said, "You're so scrawny."
He laughed, "You sound like my mom."
"Maybe she's on to something," she retorted.
TJ just grinned and shook his head before asking, "You want some breakfast?"
"You're not just going to kick me out like all your one night stands?" she teased before adding, "I'd love some. Can I use your bathroom first though?"
TJ nodded and headed out of the room, into the kitchen. He grabbed two bowls, the milk from the fridge and the cereal from the cupboard. He poured some cereal in each bowl then milk. He was grabbing the spoons as she walked in. "Hope you like Fruit Loops, that's all we have."
"I'm going to try not to read into that" she said as they both laughed. They ate in silence but TJ found himself stealing looks at her occasionally. She fixed the bed head hair she'd had when he first looked at her but he could still see a little redness from the previous nights' tears. After a couple times she noticed his eyes on her. "I'm fine TJ," she said, taking another bite, "Heartbroken, yes but not a total lost cause."
"Like me?" he asked with a smile.
"Only you're not," she said with a smile then her lips formed another thin line before she said, "But I need you to be honest with me. Last night…how much did you get?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked scrunching his eyebrows.
"I saw you with your dealer when I went to request the song. How much did you get?"
TJ swallowed, glancing to the floor then back up at her, "An 8 ball…" watching her face drop he added hurriedly, "But I didn't do it. I washed it down the drain after you came over."
"Why didn't you just use it? That's what you wanted it for" she said, staring at her bowl of cereal.
"Because you're right" he said, "I do want this. Life. I want to actually experience it not just watch it blur by like I have been."
"And if I hadn't shown up at your door?" she asked, staring at him, "Would you still feel the same?"
"I don't know," he answered.
Karli turned away from him. Sighing, she crossed her arms and said, "Look TJ, I knew you'd relapse. It's inevitable. I've told you before and hell all addicts do at one time or another. But the point is to actually feel guilt about it and I just…I don't think you are. It's all too easy for you."
"But it's not easy!" he countered, coming around to face her, "This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I don't have the support I need here. I don't have…anyone. I'm trying, really I am."
"I know you are" she said, looking into his eyes, "I just don't know if trying is going to cut it."
TJ swallowed again before he said, "You…you givin' up on me?"
"No" she said, slightly shaking her head, "But you need to do more to make this work. It can't be just a little effort, you have to put it all in" pausing a moment she continued, "I want to tell you something that I've been thinking about. Last night…well it was the first time I've really felt like we were… friends. I hope we are or at least can be. I'm friends with everyone I help and honestly I think that's what makes it work the best," he didn't get a chance to say anything before she held up and hand and added," Anyway I should probably go. I need to find a new place to live and…you know…figure stuff out. But I'll still be around to help; don't worry. And thanks for breakfast."
She put her bowl in the sink quick before heading towards the door. TJ watched her and followed. As she reached the door he said, "Karli…"
Karli turned and faced him, "Yeah?"
"We are friends," TJ said, eliciting a slight smile from her before he continued, "I'm sorry about Michelle."
"Me too" she said before turning back, "Me too."
"You need a ride?" he asked, stepping forward.
Leaning in the doorframe she answered, "I'll call a cab. Thank you though. For last night, for everything you've done for me. I won't forget it."
TJ offered her a smile as she closed the door.
