Ah, here goes the next chapter.
I would like to thank tellie, FreeSoul1990, and Melibells for reviewing and to those who added this story to their favorites or alerts.
Warning: This chapter starts with a heavy talk about the afterlife from Art's point of view. If for some reason you don't want to read on her atheist ideology, then please skip some of the first day or read at your own discretion.
Thursday, July 29, 1999
"Mihane-san, with all due respect, this was not the way I expected to spend my vacation."
The shinigami turned to me from our seat behind the counter, a teasing smile on her face. "You looked bored, so I decided to help you out!"
My eye twitched. "By giving me a job in Gin Tonbo?"
Mihane's smile now turned slightly nervous. "Well, we are paying you some Kan, Artemis-san. And didn't you tell me that you owed me that day during our lessons?"
I took a calming breath. "I did not mean it like that, Mihane-san. Giving me a job during my much awaited break is nothing short but cruel!"
She waved a hand at my comment. "I think it's very educational, Artemis-san. We get more bonding time, you get to meet some shinigami, and earn Kan. I think that it is I who is doing you a favor."
On cue, two shinigami came inside the store and started browsing. They tried not to cringe on the prices, but that in itself was impossible. I could never see myself affording a pair of those so-coveted sunglasses. The cheapest ones are 20,000 Kan, but at least I have to admit that they were stylish.
My Kido tutor was the co-owner of this store. Along with her father, former Sixth Division lieutenant Shirogane Ginjiro, she ran this store and would take control of it whenever he had to go run some errands, like right now. Apparently they had never thought about hiring help, but since Mihane personally knew me and they both paid me lower than minimum wage, Ginjiro had agreed to employ me.
I could see why Mihane needed the help. I had just been in her store for barely four hours since it opened and they had sold five pairs of sunglasses. There was a tedious process that needed to be made before the sunglasses were given to the customer, making sure that they were given in pristine conditions.
The shinigami left after looking for what they wanted, leaving Mihane and me alone again.
Finally. I had been wanting to ask Mihane something, but we never had time when she was tutoring me in Kido and we had never touched the subject with crowds of people around us ever since her captain had interrupted us. I needed to find that piece of information to be able to start completing the puzzle that would wake my mind. I had deduced as much: physically, I needed the power the shinigami offered me, but mentally, I required finding out tidbits of important details regarding my coma. "Mihane-san, we never finished the conversation before your taichou interrupted us."
She looked surprised. "You mean about your situation?" I nodded. "Very well, but can I ask you a quick question first?" Hesitant nod. "Why do you believe all of this is a dream?"
I wasn't surprised that Mihane would ask something like that, since I kept bringing up that whatever happened in this place, in Soul Society, was of no concern to me as long as the problem did not hinder my mental and physical growth. She would become hurt at my comments, as if she was actually real, but shrug it off with a glint of understanding that usually annoyed me.
"Because the idea of an afterlife is too..." I struggled in finding the correct word to describe what I thought. "Living an eternity with all your family and friends, never suffering... Bathing in the almighty glory with your creator... That is what Christianity offers. Take Hinduism for example. So intricate with so many different scenarios, it really is up to the person to find their own path. You can find polytheists and atheists and monotheists in that religion, or religious tradition as some refer it. The Nirvana, the end goal of most of Indian religions, is to be free of suffering. Or Islam, in which God will judge everyone in the Day of Judgement, and those good will go to heaven and those evil perish in hell... Who is right, and who is wrong? ...Yes, I know the world I was looking for... I believe I could call this after life a... fairy tale."
"But nothing of this world could be labeled as a fairy tale, don't you think?"
I smiled and turned to my questioner. Her eyes had an predatory glint, and I knew that I would have to forsake my inquiry for now. After all, imaginary or not, I owed the woman for helping me grow. "I know, and that is why this place never stops to amuse me. It is not the afterlife most religions tell the world. Hollows, pluses, shinigami, a military, life, death... It sounds more like a second life than an afterlife."
"I don't remember my past life," Mihane murmured as she removed her glasses and placed them on the counter. Her brown eyes were had an intelligent glint to them. "To me, this is my first life and not my afterlife. You meet new people that you have no ties with and become family with them. There is strife, yes, but there is also happiness."
"C'est la vie..." I said quietly, remembering what my papa would say.
"You never really answered the question though, Artemis-san," Mihane pointed out, mouth curling in a smile.
I frowned slightly. "I believe, not know, that this is absurd. Second life, new life, afterlife, whatever we call this, still comes after our real life. Ever since I was a small child, my Nonno*, or sofu*, taught us to seek the truth. 'To know the truth in this world of lies gives the owner of the knowledge advantage over everyone else,' he used to say. So far, though, the idea of lying in a bed fighting for my life is much more plausible than the idea that all of this is real."
"Even with all the emotions and feelings involved?"
"The emotions I've felt in here are all effects by physiological processes dealt with the brain, as far as my knowledge tells me. I feel fear or joy or sadness in my dreams, so why can't I feel this now?"
"...Have you felt pain?"
My eyes narrowed. Smart girl, clever girl. There really was no dull moment with Shirogane Mihane. "I see where you're going. The autonomic system's activities evoke feelings with enough stimulus and we can infer that it can evoke feelings from pleasant or unpleasant... What I think is that these feelings come from my physical body, but you must probably believe that they come from this body I have here... I still don't know everything, Mihane-san. I'm looking for the truth as much as anyone else in my position might."
"So if I can prove that this is most definitely not a dream, then what will happen?"
I stayed quiet for a few minutes, not really knowing how to reply. The question had really caught me off guard, since even I did not know how to properly reply to it. "Well, I can only say that if that is the truth, which I doubt, then that is it and I have to accept the truth as it is." And then I'll have to spend the rest of my lifetime trying to find logical explanations to this mess.
Mihane crossed her arms and nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Now, you had a question. What was it, exactly?"
My hand made it's way up my chin and I bit the inside of my cheek. "You think that this is not a dream, so apparently this is serious..." Not that I cared, I omitted. "So what exactly am I in here?"
Mihane opened her mouth to respond–
"Yo, Mihane!" a loud, rough voice interrupted us. "'Sup! I came here ta buy my sunglasses!"
My hands clenched in my lap but I stood up with Mihane to greet our customer. He had crimson hair that was pulled up in a ponytail and a white headband covering his forehead. Out of that headband I could see some tattoos that went down through his neck had an intricate pattern. As if his appearance did not attract enough attention, he had an armband in his left arm with the kanji for number six. If my memory did not fail me, this meant that this man was the lieutenant of the Sixth Division, Mihane's Division.
"Renji... Do you always need to be so loud? We're the only ones here," Mihane said with a deadpan look, but I could see a smile trying to break through.
"Who's the little squirt?" he asked Mihane, pointing his thumb at me.
First interrupts my important question, and now he calls me a squirt? "Costa Artemis," I said quietly.
"What? Can't hear ya!"
Mihane was about to introduce me, seeing that I was getting annoyed, but I beat her to it. "I said 'Costa Artemis', you flamboyant freak," I muttered, same level of voice, but the man heard me.
"Who are you calling a freak?" he demanded. Mihane sent us both a warning glance and Renji crossed his arms. "How come I had never seen you before?" he asked, obviously becoming more civil now that the shinigami to my right was going to sell him something expensive.
"That is because she is an Academy student," Mihane answered, enjoying herself. "Artemis-san, this is Abarai Renji-fukutaichou. He is the fukutaichou of my division."
My mood has now cooled down so I managed to give the customer a small smile. "Pleased to meet you, Abarai-fukutaichou." I awkwardly bowed, since it was something I was still not completely comfortable in doing.
The redhead scrunched his nose in seeming disgust. "What's up with the formalities? Call me Renji, everyone does!"
I turned and shared a look with Mihane. She smiled and nodded and defeated, my shoulders slumped forward. "Very well, Renji. Is there anything in here that interests you?"
He grinned and pointed to a pair of sunglasses that were on display. "Get these babies ready for me, cuz I'm takin' 'em!"
"These babies" were in fact a pair of reishi telescope goggles that sold for 84,700 Kan. How the man had managed to save that much money was a mystery for me. Perhaps lieutenants were paid nicely for their service. Without needing to be told, I stood up and took my key to open the glass sliding door that was behind us. There were a wide array of Reiban-styled sunglasses, but what Renji wanted were the goggles. I carefully took them and placed them on the counter, meanwhile Mihane went behind the store to get their case, warranty, and protective products.
"That would be 84,700 Kan, Renji," I stated as I checked the goggles for any scratches.
"Discount!" I heard Mihane's voice from the back. "Chichi* always gives Renji a ten percent discount! So it's 76,230 Kan!"
"Very well, you heard her."
The lieutenant chuckled nervously. "These always cost half of my year's pay..." he said.
"Then why do you buy them?"
He shrugged. "Eh, early birthday present, I guess." He placed the some coins that were worth 10,000 and others that were worth differently.
Mihane came back and put all of the items she had countertop. "Well, Renji, let's hope that these ones last for a while. Try not to use them when you fight and make sure to clean them every once in a while, you know why. You can trade them in for a new pair if they're unsatisfactory and–"
Renji waved his hand at Mihane, a greedy look in his face meanwhile he regarded his new goggles. "Yeah, yeah, you've told me that a million times already." He grinned as he took of the white cloth he had around his forehead and replaced them with the new goggles. "Thanks a mil, Mihane and Artemis. I promise I'll take care of them. Say hi to Ginjiro-san for me!" He waved and turned, leaving the store with just the goggles.
"Should we...?" I trailed off, pointing at the products the lieutenant had left.
Mihane sadly shook her head. "It's Renji. Even if he takes them or not, they're still going to break in a month or so." She giggled and shrugged. "Oh well, more business for us."
Saturday, August 14, 1999
A well aimed kick found itself blocked by my arm. A smug smile appeared in my face before I flip kicked Fuji in the face. However, he caught my ankle with extreme precision and a cry of surprise left my lips as he slammed me into the wooden floor.
My back, which received most of the impact, was screaming in pain, and my head thumped loudly. "Fujishima-sensei..." I managed to groan out. "Enough for today, please..."
The old man went into a strict position, with his chest puffing and his shoulders straight. "We've only trained for five hours today and you're whining. That Academy of yours surely spoils you kids too much. Perhaps I should think about letting you advertise my services if you can barely keep up."
I immediately stood up and tried to balance, a killer headache impeding me from seeing and standing properly. "No, no, we practice enough, believe me. But it's break and..."
The wrinkly man frowned. "And you think that you should rest?"
My head gave a slow, tentative nod. Although the man did help me –and if he was real I would admit to being very fond of him– he did not understand the meaning of the word rest. When I came home from the Silver Dragonfly after a long day of work around five o'clock, Fujishima would refuse to give me dinner unless we practiced for at least two hours. At first I could keep up with it, but now I could feel my body beginning to feel the excessive strain.
A pensive look overcame the man. "I have an offer for you, Art-kun. Are you willing to take it into consideration?" Oh, anything, Fuji. I'll take anything. "Very well, I shall cut the training hours to half of what they were–" Sold "–if and only if you accept to wear weights."
"Wear weights?"
"A friend of mine sells these new things that have become somewhat popular in the living world. Simple, you wear weights on your muscles so that you are constantly practicing!" he explained excitedly.
Doesn't that take away the point of less training? "But Fujishima-sensei... Wouldn't that be considered cheating?"
"Do you want to cut down the hours or not? Good. Now, you're not allowed to take them off. Ever. Do you swear?"
Somehow I had a feeling that I had freed myself from one torture only to fall into another one. "I... swear." But I really couldn't argue with the man. He wasn't getting any younger and I wasn't getting any stronger or more patient.
The short old man's smile widened. "Good, good, wait here, I'll go get them."
"Wait... what?" He already had them?
Fuji turned and innocently smiled at me. "Well, I had been planning on giving them to you anyway, but I felt bad if I forced them on you. So I let you decide, and let me tell you, Art-kun, our minds work wonderfully!" And the old man left from the dojo into the house that he shared with me.
What a sly old man...
Tuesday, August 31, 1999
"Costa-kun!" Ginjiro called from the back of the store.
I immediately snapped out of my daze and stood up. Such act would've been almost impossible to do a week ago, since the burning in my muscles was nothing but uncomfortable. In fact, I could not move from my futon five days after Fuji added the weights. I had to excuse myself from work, and Mihane thought that the whole situation was quite hilarious actually. Fuji had added three pounds to my sandals, ankles, thighs, upper arms, and wrists. At first, it had been nothing, the weight being slightly painful, but as the days went by... My spars with Fuji were ten times harder, and unfortunately I was no longer near as fast as I was before.
"Hai, Shirogane-sama?" I asked when I was in front of him.
"Ah, such a polite young lady, but you really need to drop that -sama. I may be your boss and all, but for now. Besides, you're my daughter's friend!" Shirogane Ginjiro was muscular man with dark brown hair and light brown eyes. He had a perpetual grin on his face, or he would always appear happy, except in the occasional time in which he would grow serious.
I frowned. People were so hard to please sometimes. "Well... What can I do for you, Shirogane-san?"
The back room was a fairly simple place with boxes and boxes of merchandise. It was a dark room, since no one usually spent time in here unless one was taking a break. There was a desk and a chair in the end of the room being illuminated by a lampshade. The desk was mostly Ginjiro's. What he did with it was currently unknown, but I guessed that Ginjiro used it to plan new styles for glasses.
Ginjiro had a happy grin and a case in his hands. "I would usually give these to Mihane, but seeing as she is in a mission in Rukongai, I'll ask you this favor."
My boss gave me the case and I eyed it. "What is this?"
"Those are one of my best sunglasses. Make sure to give them to Kuchiki-taichou personally and see his reaction!"
I raised an eyebrow. "You said Mihane-san usually does this, correct? Ano, not meaning to be rude or anything, Shirogane-san, don't you think Kuchiki-taichou has enough of these?"
He gave a hearty laugh. "Kuchiki-taichou always personally returns them. He says he doesn't want them."
"Then why continue giving them when he obviously will return them?"
"Because the fact that he always personally returns them shows how highly he thinks of me." Here his eyes softened and he said in a quiet, and slightly doleful voice, "Besides, it is the only time I have to talk to the taichou and see how my old Division is doing. Mihane sure talks sometimes, but seeing him wouldn't hurt..."
Surprised at the tone the man had taken, I decided to take them to the captain, even if the trip was a waste of time. "Alright, I shall personally give Kuchiki-taichou these."
Making sure my skull badge was pinned securely in my warm yellow yukata, I walked out of the store and left in the general direction I thought the Sixth Division was. The badge was given to all Academy students and acted as a passport to enter and leave Seireitei. Since the first time I came to Shino I was accompanied by Mihane, our gate guardian Jidanbo Ikkanzaka let us through, but now that I usually travelled alone, I needed to have the badge ready to show either the gate guardian to let me through or a shinigami that might ask what I was doing in Seireitei.
By a pure stroke of luck, finding the Sixth Division only took me approximately two hours. I had to refrain from doing a little victory dance when I entered through the tall wooden doors and into the barracks.
The first thing that greeted me was a big courtyard that was completely empty. I went around the squarish courtyard in the wooden hallways and was again greeted by no Division members. In fact, if I focused enough on my limited reiatsu training, I could only feel two strong signatures in the whole place, and that was it.
With no one to ask and not trusting my reiatsu to guide me, I walked aimlessly through the garrison. Empty dormitories, mess hall, training areas, the place was deserted. I looked around for any signs of people that I had missed when I did not notice when I bumped into someone.
I recoiled slightly but my reflexes didn't let me fall to the ground, especially since I was carrying such precious item with me.
"Artemis? What are you doing here, eh?" Renji asked, eyeing the box and me curiously. "Is that box for me? Damn, I can't believe Ginjiro-san remembered my birthday!" he exclaimed happily.
"Your birthday? Ah, happy birthday, Renji-san... I mean, Renji." Guess I won't ask him how old he is since apparently everyone here is "older than my grandfather."
He grinned and absentmindedly scratched the back of his head. "Heh, thanks. I guess that ain't for me, right?" I smiled and shook my head. "Damn... Taichou always gets nice sunglasses but he always returns them."
My attention went to his forehead, which was covered with white cloth. "Did you break yours already?" I asked incredulously.
The redhead grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, yesterday's practice was kinda rough, but it was totally worth it cuz I kicked ass, like always. But they lasted me longer than what I expected, so I don't care. Anyway, I'm gonna leave you now. Taichou gave me the rest of the day off and I'm gonna party!"
Before he left to celebrate his birthday, I had a question to ask. "Do you know anyone that can guide me to Kuchiki-taichou's office? No one's around."
"Sixth Division is having a joint practice with the Fifth Division. No one's here right now except the taichou and me. But here, go to the end of the hall and turn right. You'll find another big hall and now turn left. Then you'll find a smaller hall and keep going forward. You'll see a big door in front of it. That's Taichou's office. Got it?"
Not really, but I wasn't going to make the poor guy repeat his long sentence and I wanted to leave already. "Hai, I got it. Have a nice day, Renji." I waved back and caught his smirk.
"You bet I will. Good luck!" he called and quickly used shunpo to leave.
Such energy... he even made me think I was sleepy. Anyway, repeating the directions in my mind, I went to the end of the hall and turned right. Now, where... Let's see... Was it left or right...? I already used right so might as well use left. There! Wait a hall? Ah, a double door... Is this office the one?
I took a calming breath and knocked the door twice. "Kuchiki-taichou, this is an employee from Gin Tonbo."
There was no reply from the door for a couple of seconds. Did I get the wrong door? Not being able to feel any reiatsu from the other side, I started to turn when a faint but clear, "Come in," was heard.
Taking a calming breath again, I took a firm grip in the long handle and pushed the door open. The office was spacious, with two sofas facing each other to the right with a small table in between. The man had a personal library, as I could see from the wide array of books in the bookshelves that did the job as walls. In the end of the office was a big window, and a desk was in front of it. The desk had a pile of papers and a man sitting in front of it, dutifully working with a brush, his eyes never leaving the paperwork.
My first steps were hesitant, as the man had yet to give me a glance, but nevertheless, I was here on an errand.
"A gift from Shirogane-sama," I said as I walked closer to the working captain. "He hopes that you will enjoy it."
"Give it back to him," he replied without raising his eyes to acknowledge the gift. "I have told him many times that I do not want them."
No good. If I left with the gift, then the captain would have no reason to go to the shop and talk with Ginjiro. In fact, the main reason why my boss keeps doing this is to keep in contact with his pervious partner. My errand is not for the Sixth Division Captain to accept the gift as his own, but for him to have it in his disposal. "I am afraid I cannot do that, Kuchiki-taichou. Shirogane-sama won't be very pleased if I come back with the gift."
"Then tell him I forced you. Leave, I have work to do."
The only response I could come with that was to blink. My boss had dedicated his life for the man and this was the way he repaid him? Perhaps he was busy, that I could tell from the amount of papers he kept signing, but is it really too much to ask for a minute of his time?
...Whatever, not my problem, really. If the captain did not want it, so be it. I have no interest in the affairs of the imaginary people that have residence inside my mind. I was here for one mission only and this was certainly not it.
My advancing stopped and I slowly turned. Then again, Ginjiro was Mihane's father and I could tell they were close. As much as I didn't care, I had to admit I had the sinking suspicion that Mihane was some sort of guide meant to aid me wake up. If for some reason my relationship with her was damaged because of this, then how would I gain these shinigami powers that I needed?
I immediately turned back to face the man and walked towards him. The man must have sensed me but he was confident enough in his abilities that he still did not raise his eyes to see me. I placed the glasses' box gently in the desk and turned towards the door.
"Not following what other people tell you to do will only end in your demise. Especially if the people have more wisdom and ulterior motives than you," was his smooth reply. No trace of anger, but a very tangible coldness to his voice.
I turned to address him, because no matter what happened, I was taught that when I talked to someone I must meet the person's eyes. Surprisingly, the man had the glasses' box in his hands and was regarding me coldly but with minimal interest. "I was just following what another person told me to do, Kuchiki-taichou."
"My word stands above his."
"It depends on the point of view, Kuchiki-taichou. For something as trivial as the acceptance of a simple gift, I took the choice which was convenient to most people. In the hypothetical scenario that we were in battle and you asked me to roll on the ground, I would do it and add an extra two minutes for good measure, simply because you have more experience in the matter." I blinked and blushed slightly in embarrassment when I realized I was rambling. I bowed slightly at the man, who still had the same mask but his features were slightly amused. "Excuse me, I hope you enjoy the gift." I turned and tried to leave with as much dignity as I could, taken the fact that I had humiliated myself.
"Your name," he demanded.
I frowned slightly before turning (something that I seem to be doing too much) and bowed my head slightly. "Costa Artemis."
The captain was already focused on his work, so he did not see any of my gestures. "Well then, I will make sure to tell Ginjiro about your refusal to accept a negative for an answer and the successful treading of the waters without insulting my pride. You are dismissed."
Although I highly disliked the condescending tone in which I was treated, I did nothing about it and merely left. After all, that could be acceptable given the fact that I managed to complete my errand. Besides, having captaincy over one of the divisions in the military force of this world could cause some arrogance. Maybe he was the personification of my own admitted conceitedness when it came to my knowledge, which was vast but not broad enough for my liking.
Closing the door with an almost inaudible click, I made my way back to the Silver Dragonfly with a smirk on my face.
I just hoped I wouldn't get there after five, when the store closed, and not be able to tell Ginjiro that a visit from his old captain was pending.
Oh goddamn, I think I pulled a muscle in there.
*Sofu: A way to refer one's grandfather when not speaking with him.
*Chichi: A way to refer one's father when not speaking with him.
*Nonno: Grandfather in Italian
Alright, that was a longer chapter than usual. Phew, oh well, I put Renji in twice and Byakuya at the end. I hope I did them justice in your point of view. Oh, and I included Renji's birthday! I deserve a cookie.
So now we have a clash on ideologies. I hope I didn't confuse anyone in her explanations, I tried to put it as simple as possible. In fact, I invite you to read on the interesting concept of emotions and feelings. It's a complicated concept of metaphysics but fascinating nevertheless. Personally, I believe more in the term of subconscious being the metaphysical entity, but Art thinks otherwise. Oh well, it's good to learn new things. I hope that her views were interesting enough for a good read.
For those wondering on Art's non-beliefs I have presented (so far): She doesn't believe in the afterlife. She doesn't believe in the soul. And doesn't believe in God. But even so, she admits that these are beliefs and there is no way of knowing until death actually happens (may or may not have happened already, but she won't admit that).
Yes, this is the only chapter dedicated to her Break. School in Japan starts in September, so she'll start soon.
And I have decided to start my AP Bio summer assignment now and finish by halfway through July, so updates may or may not be so constant, at least until then. But give me support guys! It always helps out when there's a lot of work to do!
Did you read the (excuse my language) major mind-fuck they had on Bleach? I was like WTF? The hell is that guy doing? I would go cuckoo if that were me. And when is that damn filler arc gonna end? I just want it to hurry up after Byakuya's fight. After that, not really interested.
But here goes (a philosophical question): what's your opinion on the concept of feelings and emotions? Is it that as William James said (in 1890 though), "...we feel sorry because we cry, angry because we strike, afraid because we tremble, and not that we cry, strike or tremble because we are sorry, angry or fearful..." Or is it the other way around? After all, we have evolved enough to feel and then react.
Comments, criticisms, or concerns are greatly appreciated.
