Misaki raced up the stairs depressed and crying as he flopped on his bed and passed out. He began dreaming of his past not even aware that he was screaming all the while.


MISAKI'S MEMORY:


In the living room while Hiroki was out of the house the two brothers were kissing with passion, Misaki of 7 and Takahiro of 17. It was wrong, Takahiro knew that but the way the younger boy wiggled himself around the house in that happy manner made him…made him feel something. It wasn't even the older boy who started it, it was Misaki who had feigned innocence and kissed Takahiro gently on the lips. Gently had turned into passionate when Misaki sat on Takahiro causing the older male to gasp letting little Misaki dart his tongue in his older brother's mouth. Takahiro had tried to pull Misaki away from him but that little boy was too strong (due to the training he had been put through by his parents and the military) and pulled him back.

The door clicked and before Takahiro could scramble away his parents pulled them a part hurling insults at him like a gun. They threw Takahiro into the basement and locked it. Takahiro was forced to live for two weeks in the cell the boy's parents had built without food or water and occasionally his parents would hit him. Still, Misaki loved his brother dearly and snuck in 3 meals with water everyday for that entirety of 2 weeks. It was only the first week and Misaki had gotten bored of being ignored by an adolescent Hiroki.

"Shi…are you okay?" Misaki looked up and grabbed the bars.

"No…Mama and papa keep talking negative about you. I don't know what to do anymore Taka."

"You'll be okay…we'll be okay. What we did was wrong, we're brothers not lovers. Plus I'm way too old for you." Takahiro moved farther away from Misaki.

"No. I understand what the consequences may be and I am willing to accept all of that for you. I want to be happy with you because I love you." Misaki's little fingers clenched around the cold iron bars.

"You're only 7 Shi! You don't know what love is…you'll find someone else."

"I already told you I don't want anyone but MY Taka!" Misaki began crying. Takahiro moved slowly, the last beating his parents gave him left him a bit sore, to the iron cage. He placed his hands over Misaki's.

"We're brothers!" Takahiro exclaimed raising his voice,

"You're not my real brother so it's okay! Why can't I be with you?" Misaki wailed.

"I'm sorry Misaki. You're still a child so you don't understand…I-I love someone else."

Takahiro looked away from Misaki in fear his voice would give away his huge crush.

"…Who?" Misaki's broken voice sounded through the cell.

"Hiroki," Takahiro whispered accidentally.

"…Hiroki?" Misaki looked up at his brother with such a sad hurt expression Takahiro had to look away.

"No." He denied, which was futile because Misaki already knew that his Taka loved his brother.

"Do…do you love me too?" Misaki asked looking at his brother cutely.

"No." Takahiro lied. This was best. At least Hiroki was closer to his age and plus, he was sure Hiroki felt some kind of an attraction to him. After all Hiroki did jerk him off once.

Misaki was a genius but he didn't think that Takahiro could lie to him…so the younger male believed him.

"O-Oh…but I'm a big boy. I could give you things that Oki wouldn't dare do."

Takahiro's eyes widened. "No! You save that kind of talk for some one you care about deeply."

"I CARE ABOUT YOU! I DO!" Misaki yelled. Hiroki screamed, 'Shut up down there! Gosh, I swear those two idiots play those damn video games all day. READ A BOOK OR YOU'LL BECOME LAZY MORONS!'

Takahiro smiled and Misaki became jealous. "You could take it from me! You could have it Taka! It'll make you feel better…just pretend I'm Hiroki!"

Misaki's eyes welled with tears when Takahiro looked away and ballad his fists by his side.

"Does he know what you did to me?" Takahiro suddenly asked his younger brother who in turn began crying even more.

"W-w-what I d-did?" He grabbed himself to stop shaking.

"Shi…you pushed me and made out with me. Anyway, does he know what happened?" Takahiro's eyes widened with worry.

"He thinks you play video games down here…I kept it a secret from him. Mama and papa are barely home now anyway."

"Thank you Misaki. Thank you so much." Takahiro smiled in relief.

"But why…why him?"

Takahiro chuckled sarcastically to himself. "Dark times meet dark people Misaki. Always remember that.'

"Kay…"

"I'm sorry you had to find ou-"

"I already knew you loved Hiroki. You could tell when someone's utterly and hopelessly in love with someone you know? You could tell when someone's faking it too…you should probably stop faking it or you might believe it someday Taka."

"I don't understand…"

"You don't understand now but 10 years from now, give or take, you'll be drowning in regrets and sadness because you weren't true to yourself."

"Shi…I don't know what to say." Takahiro pressed his face through the bar in hopes of calming his blush down. Misaki stepped forward and kissed him, unlike last time, softly and chaste.

"You don't need to say anything Takahiro. I already understand." Misaki turned his back to his brother to hide the evil look on his face.

"Understand? Understand what Shi?"

Misaki shook with rage.

"That it will take my death to get you out of your darkness." Misaki placed his hand on his heart although Takahiro could not see him doing so, "I'll plan it. I'll plan your happiness even if it causes me misery."

"Misaki I don-"

"Dark times meet dark people right Taka?" Misaki turned back around with his usual childish demeanor.

"Huh?" Takahiro didn't understand a word his brother was saying but some how he felt like he should just tell his young brother the truth. That he really did love him.

"I predict murder, crime, hate, suicide, all the works. I'll fall into my jealousy and I'll become stark mad. After years of listening and following like a lost puppy I'll snap. I predict things you know? Mama said the reason everything I predict comes true is because I understand life so well…"

Takahiro pressed his face further into the bars. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know, mama said I was a genius. She said I could solve mathematical equations that even college professors have difficulty with. She told me I was wiser than Confucius or Socrates or Aristotle put together. Mama and papa keep saying, 'Misaki, you were destined for a life without your brothers. Your brothers will be the death of you, they'll hold you back Misaki. We love you.' Then papa would put his arm around me and ruffle my hair and they would each say their share of pathological lies."

"Where are you getting at?" Takahiro raised his eyebrow.

"I've always known I was different. It was quite simple to tell actually, since all my colleagues wanted to pick their nose and take their scheduled naps and I wanted to read the literary works of classical heroes."

Misaki was silent for a moment until he continued speaking again in a rhythmic pattern, "I never understood why I have the knowledge I do. I still don't, and to you whom I may at times argue with, I sound like a arrogant teenager I do…but I'm only 7." He said mockingly. "I'm only seven and yet I love you, a deep unconditional love that I'd kill for. I know you Takahiro. I know you better than yourself so believe me…trust me, please don't turn away what you really want."

"Since you're the great knowing Misaki what do I want?" Takahiro said rudely. He was getting frustrated that his younger brother seemed fixated with the idea of them together. The older male cared too much for Misaki to even think about doing those things with.

"What you want is something Hiroki can never give you but I will help you…I will follow you until I die. I will kill for you until I die. I will sell my body and commit genocide all for you Takahiro. So please, just don't shun me."

"I-I'm sorry…you're my brother Misaki. My precious brother and we can't be anything more than that."

I love you too much. A voice in the back of Takahiro's mind screamed at him. However the boy ignored it.

"I understand how it's going to be then…" Misaki began crying again, "Please remember…you're my one and only Taka even if I have to follow you to death. No one can deny me that not even Hiroki."

"Oi! Big brains! Where the hell is my literature textbook. I know your too smart for school but I'm not so you need to give me that textbook. Misaki?"

Misaki rolled his eyes. "TOP DRAWER, LEFT CABINENT."

"Stop touching my stuff you stupid brat! God, I swear I hate you sometimes." Misaki flinched. He cupped Takahiro's face through the bars.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you Takahiro."

And then Misaki walked out and Takahiro opened his mouth to scream out 'I LIED! I DON'T LOVE HIROKI! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM SOO MUCH BECAUSE OF HOW HE TREATS YOU! I LOVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME!' but he was left alone with his thoughts and the sounds of Misaki's footsteps going up the stairs and out of his sight.


END MISAKI'S MEMORY


"Misaki!" Akihiko shot up the stairs with Hiroki behind him when he had heard the first screams come from the boy's mouth about 20 minuets later. Akihiko grabbed the boy so he would stop screaming. Both males, Hiroki and Akihiko were shocked when Misaki stopped and began talking normally. Usually the younger male would scream everything but now he was softly talking.

Akihiko didn't know you could smile in your sleep but Misaki was clearly happy with something. Then the smile disappeared and the tears came rolling down.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you Takahiro…" Misaki clutched his heart. It was kind of hard to breathe for him. Akihiko shook him and Misaki woke up and brought Akihiko down with him. He kneed Usagi in the stomach and chocked him cutting off his oxygen. When he realized that he wasn't in the academy anymore and Takahiro wasn't in danger he realized him apologizing profusely.

"What the hell Misaki?" Hiroki said causing Misaki to flinch. It reminded him of their younger days when Hiroki tortured him mentally.

"S-sorry. I thought…I had a nightmare Oki." Misaki eyes shimmered

"I don't care. Miyagi and Shinobu are here and we're waiting for you so get up and go downstairs."

Misaki's eyes hardened. This was why he denied the mission when Takahiro first proposed it. Sure Hiroki was nice to him, loving even at first but you can't forget the things you hate. Under all that bullshit worry for Misaki laid the horrible memory of what his 'fragile weak brother' did. He chose to bury it and ignore it. He chose to forget why he really left and Misaki loathed him for it.

"S-sorry Oki."

With that Misaki left to go downstairs and cook for the family, which in reality was the closet thing he had to family. Now wasn't that the saddest thing someone's ever seen?