Chapter 8:

Alone in the Dark


She said she told you she knows me, but the face isn't right. She asked if I recognized her and I told her I might.


Almost as if an invisible beacon had been lit, and the armies of Rohan – ahem, Hidden Leaf – poured in as soon as Hanako had finished cleaning and stepped into the shower, she heard someone enter the house by the shouted 'I'm home!' from the living room. From her vulnerable position in the bathroom, in the process of sudsing up her hair with shampoo, the blonde could do absolutely nothing. She fretted for a minute about what she was going to do about the sudden houseguests and how quickly she could finish her shower before a wave of sudden stubbornness hit her. The blonde certainly didn't invite this new houseguest. They certainly didn't forewarn her that they were going to be here. They didn't even knock, just let themselves. Right then and there, she decided to take one the longest, most luxurious showers that she had in weeks. She reached for a conditioning hair mask that she hadn't used in a few weeks. It would take at least fifteen minutes to properly set. When that was in and she'd pulled her hair into a wet bun on the top of her head, she turned the water on low, took out a clay mask and applied it to her face. She then started focusing on exfoliating her skin before she pulled out a razor and set to the task of removing the hair from her legs. Once that was done, there was still time that the hair mask needed to set, so carefully pulling a towel around her, she exited the bathroom and found her nail care tools and took them back to the bathroom and set to the task of maintaining her nails, pushing the cuticles back and exfoliating the dead skin from her calluses.

The entire time she was doing this she could hear various noises from the living room. There was more than one shinobi in her house apparently; the sounds of someone running the kitchen sink, laughter, and the tell-tale clacking sounds of a shogi game being set up were also making their way through the walls and under the doorway. Her name was called several times, but she refused to answer.

Finally, she decided it was time to rinse her hair out and remove the clay mask. Once her hair was wrapped up in a towel, she spent more time on her nails and moisturizing her face before she actually got dressed. The sliding glass door from her bedroom to the backyard didn't have the curtains pulled so she had plenty of natural light spilling in. The blonde dressed slowly, leisurely taking her time. Her hair next received a good work through with some moisturizing oils. All her skin, hair, and nails were buffed, shaved, moisturized, and pampered properly. Finally, when she didn't feel like she could delay anymore she sighed heavily, braced herself, and opened the door to the living area.

Laughter greeted her as she came out, two shinobi were in the kitchen washing and chopping vegetables while another three crowded around the dining table playing shogi. One more sat on the couch reading a scroll.

"Hey, Hanako, hope you don't mind that we let ourselves in," Bird said from the kitchen. "It's Tsuda's birthday today," he gestured to one of the shogi players. Tsuda waved at Hanako before making a move on the board. "And none of us have apartments big enough to all get together for dinner in," Bird finished.

Hanako was a little annoyed but tried to not let it show. If she had known that there would be a group tonight, she probably wouldn't have minded, but as it was there was no warning, they just let themselves in. She took a mental breath. She didn't own the house. Technically she didn't really have a say, she never even signed a lease. The ninja, under her terms of living in Hidden Leaves, were well within their rights to show up and there was nothing she could do about it. They probably didn't even realize that she might not like it, the rules here were different than at home.

She opened her eyes. Several large bottles of sake and shot glasses caught her attention. "Big plans tonight?" She asked.

A hand slipped around her waist and she looked up to see Sparrow. "The biggest," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her. She laughed and jokingly pushed him away. "Why don't you join us?"

She hesitated to respond. "Come on, we know that you're not working tomorrow," Sparrow protested. "It's Saturday and you never work Sundays." He grinned, "We'll keep you safe from the big bad ninjas."

"Ninja? Where?!" Exclaimed Yamashiro from the couch, jumping to his feet comically with a knife out spinning in several directions. They all laughed.

The blonde was tempted. Very tempted. "I'll – I will think about it," she conceded.

"That's almost a yes," Sparrow said, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "Bear will have nothing to worry about."

"Yes," Bear said, appearing behind Bird. "Because you are the safest people in Hidden Leaves that I could possibly trust my protection client to," the sarcasm dripped from his voice. "It's not as though I've been assigned to protect anyone from harm, physical or otherwise."

"Hey! She'd be perfectly safe with me," Bird returned in a mock scandalized tone.

"Physically, maybe. Mentally she'd be scarred for life," Bear replied sassily.

"That's right, Kenta, we can't have you scarring the poor little civilians," Itsuo jested.

"Besides, we're headed to the Drunken Samurai later tonight."


Narrator: They didn't.


Bull joined them a little before the plates were set out, still dusty from being on duty. He was promptly sent into second bathroom to clean up by Hanako, who proclaimed that he was too filthy to eat at the table with them. An extra chair was pulled up from the patio to accommodate the extra guests.

Dinner, a delicious affair which included delicious chicken skewers, grilled mackerel, a miso soup, rice balls, and tuna rolls, with pickles, salami, cheese, and crackers on the side, curtesy of Hanako. She helped make what she could, but she wasn't very good at cooking Fire Country dishes besides a good stir fry, so the charcuterie was her contribution. Conversation was loud and lively, mostly the shinobi jesting at one another and making inside jokes. Some of them flew over Hanako's head, but she laughed along, nonetheless.

Then, mid-dinner, the shots of sake started with shouts of 'kanpai,' and it started going downhill from there. Bear, prude that he was, declined to take part. Although he was probably the most responsible of them all, seeing as he was on duty. A few more shinobi joined them. Hanako didn't take part in too many of the shots, opting to stay with her glass of wine instead, which she refilled at least twice, sharing the bottle with two kunoichi who showed up. Tsuda had taken one look at their glasses of white wine and rose and proclaimed them to be 'girly as fuck' and insisted they all take a shot. Mid-way through the evening Hanako was tipsy as hell and she knew it. As she sipped her water, she watched the shinobi pound down more shots of sake. She didn't understand how in the hell they were still standing. She had barely drunk anything in comparison to the shinobi, the kunoichi included, and they were all still acting like it barely affected them. Unless it really was acting. She wouldn't put it past them.

She spied Bear in the corner of the room watching the events unfold like a disappointed dad with his arms crossed. Better judgement somewhat impaired, she went over to him.

"What's deal with this?" she said, gesturing to the room. The strategy games had mostly been abandoned in favor of cards so that more people could play, and the sake was still being consumed. An old radio had been turned on in the corner, softly playing its tunes. Shinobi had sensitive hearing and too loud of music bothered them.

Bear didn't even turn to look at her. "Deal with what, exactly? Be specific."

"Drinking," she gestured again. "Is unfair. I have had so little and am tipsii, and them, are like fish."

"Fish?" Bear's tone turned amused.

"Yes! Fish!" Hanako took another drink of her water. "Drink sake like fish swimming, but no tipsii. They fine! Not fair," she ended crossly, as if the world was rendered broken by this injustice.

"Shinobi can use their chakra to metabolize alcohol more quickly than civilians can, if we so choose," Bear explained. "But you, Yamada-san, cannot, and are drunk. I recommend that you sit down and drink only water for the rest of this evening."

"Bah, I'm fine. Look, water," she gestured to her cup. Bear only inclined his head in response. The blonde huffed at him before making her way over to the couch. He had a point, she did feel more drunk than she had in a long, long time. She actually hadn't drank like this since she'd been on Terra. The card game going on looked like a variation of Texas Hold 'Em, a game she had never been any good at even when she tried to learn in college. She watched for a few minutes before she got bored and went outside.

The night was crisp and clear, the air quite cold but refreshing. Once the door was closed, the noises from inside could still be heard but it was much more subdued. Since there were no outdoor lights, not really a concept in Hidden Leaves, she fished around for the matches she knew were on the patio table before she found them and lit a cluster of candles she kept out on the table for that specific purpose. A firepit would really be a nice addition to the place, she thought to herself. Once the candles were lit, she dipped into her bedroom and brought out a blanket to wrap herself in against the cold. It peaceful. The sounds of the city were still there, the night sounds of the river, the random hoots of owls, dogs barking in the distance, the murmur of shouts from various people. But there was no roar of cars. That near-constant background hum that had been taken for granted for as long as she had lived in cities. Sure, there was the city bustle of people's voices echoing faintly, but the loud hum that had always been there no matter the time of day was now gone. The blonde had the sudden urge to walk along the river, but wrestled it down, recognizing it as a stupid-ass idea considering her state of inebriation.

"You'll catch a cold out here like this," a voice surprised the blonde and caused her to jump. Her water threatened to spill over the edges of the glass.

"Fuhk", she breathed out. "Don't do – that," she struggled to remember the right word.

Bull took a step out of the shadows and into the candlelight. "This isn't an excuse for a fire, and that blanket isn't warm enough to protect against the chill."

Well, she did have a ninja here, and they were capable of the impossible… "We do fire?" She ventured.


A few minutes and a half-drunken explanation later, Hanako was digging a hole in the ground around where she had been envisioning her fire pit would go. Well, trying. She was making a valiant effort at digging a hole in the ground.

"Are you sure about this, Hanako?" Bull asked her while he searched around for fuel.

"Yes," she replied. "I want to do for long time. Good fire for night."

"You're not making much sense, honey," Bull called back. They had decided he would search for firewood while she figured out where the firepit would go. And by 'they', Bull had insisted that Hanako would probably trip in the dark and break her neck in her current state, so he would get the firewood. As for himself, he was also drunk from the shots that Tsuda had insisted on, not that he would let it show.

"Gohddamm'it, ah sahd ah want ai fuhking fihr pit for ze fuhking yahrd," he heard. Bull couldn't help laughing despite himself. Hanako had given up on trying to speak in the Blaze dialect and resorted to her native tongue. He heard more muttering in her strange fluid tongue as he picked up more dead sticks from beyond the boundaries of the property. He fully planned on digging the pit as well but also letting her pick the spot. The last thing he wanted to do was mess up the placement of a giant hole in the ground of her precious lawn. This way, she would be the one responsible if they fucked it up.

When Tsuda invited him to his birthday celebrations, he expected it to be at the Drunken Samurai, as was tradition. When it was moved to Yamada House, as they were starting to call the residence, Bull was a little apprehensive. Tsuda was the type to intrude on others' spaces and not really think much of it, and it wasn't like the civilian was in a place to refuse them. When he arrived, based on the snappy way she told him to clean up all the dirt he brought with him from his mission, Bull guessed that was the case. At least the shampoo in the bathroom was a non-scented one. Usually one of the Masks on guard would refill the bathroom supplies whenever necessary.

The little civilian was the drunkest Bull had ever seen. Not that he had seen her drunk before, but she was pretty out of it, so when she left the card game and didn't come back, he was the first to go see how she was doing outside. Bear, as much as that Hyuuga bastard insisted on following things by the book, was the type that wouldn't interfere until she did something stupid to hurt herself. Until then he would perch wherever he chose and just watch from through the walls.

Once the appropriate amount of wood for a good-sized bonfire was gathered, he returned to the dimly lit yard where Hanako was struggling with the shovel. If he was honest, it was the saddest hole he had ever seen. An academy student could have done better. Although, on second thought, considering how drunk she was, it wasn't too bad.

"Hanako, hand me the shovel."

"Ah goddit," she replied testily as she tried to drive the shovel into the ground, stomping with her foot and nearly missing. That would have been a bad bruise to the arch of the foot if she had glanced it.

Bull had to stop himself from laughing and pretended to put on a stern face and took the shovel from the little drunk. Within a few minutes he had a fire pit dug that wouldn't be in danger of throwing sparks on to the grass and starting a fire they didn't want. Ten seconds and a fireball jutsu later, it was crackling and sending light and heat into the world. His shoulders relaxed even further.

There was a soft impact to his side and arms wrapped around his middle. He tensed reflexively. "Thanks, Bull," Hanako murmured.

"You can call me Tetsuo," he murmured. His arm came down around Hanako, warmth filling his chest. It was hard to get Hanako to come out of her shell. This had to be the most open he had literally ever seen her. He knew it would only last until she sobered up, and then she would be back to the cautious reserved person she usually was. While she wasn't as expressive as civilians usually were, she also wasn't as hard to read as a trained shinobi was. It was easy to tell that the woman wasn't entirely happy most of the time, though it was better than it used to be. She was also often guarded around her custodians, which was almost all of the time. All things considered, she was pulling through much better than most would with a hidden core keeping it together.

Tetsuo had gotten a little worried when the White Fang was assigned a R&R rotation with Hanako. The White Fang had just gotten back from a series of especially nasty missions and was on edge. Enough so that Tetsuo and Yamashiro had taken it upon themselves make sure that she felt secure the first day with him. Not that they were worried that Hatake would do anything to her, but Hatake wasn't exactly the best around civilians on a good day, and they didn't need her to become terrified of shinobi in general. Since the field of calming chakra that Hanako put out disappeared whenever she was stressed—well, they were really doing it for their own selfish reasons.

And selfish they were; the house had become a refuge for ANBU outside of headquarters where they didn't have to pretend to be something they weren't. Outside hidden villages, shinobi were a myth. A phantom that people knew existed but didn't think about because they never saw them. Inside the hidden villages, most civilians didn't understand the true full extent of what shinobi could do and became terrified when the realized that their entire perception of reality could be controlled by a shinobi of sufficient ability. They tended to romanticize shinobi and make up their own version of how their darker aspects functioned. Even shinobi who had civilian partners and came from civilian backgrounds tended to keep those facts from their loved ones. Hanako, however, was a different case. Her appearance had led to an immediate stay with T&I and all of the tender advances the Butchers had to offer, and the Yamanaka Mindwalkers after that. Her ignorance of anything shinobi meant that she had no baseline to compare to, so even techniques as extreme as mindwalking became commonplace as just another fact of her new home. Most civilians, when they realized that a henge meant that the person they came know might actually be an imposter – well it wasn't usually good for relationships, romantic or otherwise. Hell, it was a classified secret that mind techniques even existed, known only to Yamanaka teammates and Jounin-level nin; the official story was that the clan was one of intelligence gatherers.

Yamada House had become a place where they could relax. A harmless civilian who had gone through the most extreme vetting process Hidden Leaves had to offer, surrounded by the soothing chakra that she emitted, and the only visitors were their comrades-in-arms and allies. No spies, no enemies, no threats. It was safe, safer than some of their homes. The residual chakra meant that even when she wasn't there, the home and the gardens surrounding it still had a calming effect. It became a place to be protected by ANBU, a precious secret tucked away in the outlying districts of Hidden Leaves.

When Hanako had started her business, there were a few who worried that it might become a problem. They worried that she might want to travel, and the denial of that freedom would upset the order that had been established between the civilian and her handlers. Hanako wasn't allowed to leave the village without direct permission from the Lord Fire Shadow. Her papers had a Village Asset ID number instead of a Citizen ID number. Even her office was controlled by ANBU. They owned the building that she was renting from and were the reason that the price was low enough that she would select the office space she did without arousing suspicion. Almost every facet of her life was manipulated in some way by ANBU so that they could continue utilizing the resource she provided. Hell, they even went through her files to see what her clients were up to. Tetsuo didn't feel bad about any of that, it was just a reality of life in a Hidden Village. It was the price exacted for the safety the village gave, for the security provided.

But there were times like this, when Tetsuo could see the naked sorrow on Hanako's face, the longing for a life long past, that he did feel sympathy. He wouldn't be a shinobi if he couldn't compartmentalize his feelings and carry on regardless.

Hanako sat on the grass, legs pressed against her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Like a cat purring in contentment, the chakra field emitted intensified and Tetsuo felt himself relaxing. The cracking and snapping were the only sounds from the backyard for a while. They sat in a comfortable silence.

After a while, Hanako stood. Tetsuo looked at her in askance.

"Too sober, need drink," she replied, holding up her now empty water glass in response.


"Ready to become a fish, Little One?" Bear quipped when Hanako returned to fill a wine glass. The celebration inside had only gotten louder, and more shinobi had arrived. Several of them Hanako had a niggling feeling that she knew which Masks they were or could closely guess. Others were not known to her.

"River calls me," she replied with sarcasm as she poured.

"Well don't dive straight in," he responded. Hanako made a sound at him that sounded like a hrmph, raised her glass to him, and then wove back through the crowd to the door.

"Hanako!" Bird, whom Hanako mentally renames to Kenta, exclaimed when she tried to brush past him. "Where have you been? You're missing all the fun."

Hanako smiled back. "We made fire in yard, just enjoying." She gestured to the back door where she was trying to escape to. "Was little much people here," the blonde explained.

Kenta looked at her appraisingly but let her go with a laugh and pat on the shoulder.

Outside the fire cast a beautiful orange glow on everything. The trees framing the backdrop between them and the river looked picturesque. Hanako sat back down next to Tetsuo. Their shoulders were almost touching.

"What is favorite thing about Hidden Leaves?" Hanako asked after a moment.

Tetsuo considered for a moment. "My comrades. They'd do anything for this, for me. I'd do the same for them."

Hanako searched his face. There was no falsehood.

"The sun off mountainside in morning," she replied.

"Huh?"

"My favorite thing," the blonde clarified. "My favorite thing about Hidden Leaves is way sun rises in morning. Shines first on mountain, mist is on river, very peaceful." She was honest. Over time she was coming to appreciate the beauty of the village, to enjoy its quiet mornings even if she didn't like its winter weather. She was also coming to terms with the fact that she would likely never return home and that she had to embrace this one as best as she could. She remembers her own home and feels the pinpricks of tears in the corners of her eyes. She won't cry. No, not now. Not in front of someone else, much less a shinobi.

"Hanako," Testsuo said softly, catching her attention. His eyes gaze back at her, steady. She traces the scar on his face, with her eyes, wondering how he got it. She decides that she really doesn't want to know. "Hanako, it's alright," Tetsuo says.

Tetsuo's hand cups her face, brushing against her skin with his rough calluses. As soon as he does, she has a sudden spark of realization. She closed her eyes and can feel the warmth of his breath on her face, when she opens them, he is so much closer. Before she can think better of it, she leans forward and closes the gap between them.

The first kiss is tender and soft, hesitant. The second is much more aggressive and filled with longing. Tetsuo's hand winds through her hair and he pulls her closer. He smells of woodsmoke, oil and steel, and a smell she would almost describe as gunpowder but not quite. She traces her hand along his cheek, stubble brushing against her fingertips. Warmth pooled in her stomach, her heartbeat was in her ears. When he pulls back, Hanako knows that her cheeks look rosy from the heat in them, and she's breathing hard. She realizes how long it has been since she's been with someone. Over a year. Most of that time here. Somewhere in the back of her mind there is a voice screaming at her to not do it, that he can't be trusted. Hanako silences the voice with little effort. She wants so desperately to give in, and she can see that Tetsuo feels the same.

They kiss again, languidly this time, less hurried and rushed. His hair is silky between her fingers. She traces his jawline with her lips and down his neck, breathing in more of his scent. His fingers trace her neck and the line of her shoulder coming down to –

He freezes and breaks apart from her. A split second later the door to the house slides open.

"Hanako? Tetsuo? You out here?" Kenta can see them but pretends to not immediately spot them so that they have a moment gather themselves. The fire is dying but there is still enough light for a shinobi to see well.

"Over here, Kenta," Hanako replies.

"Come back inside you two, we're starting another game of Lightening Shinobi Bluff. Hanako, I'll teach you how to play if you want me to."

When Hanako doesn't immediately respond, Tetsuo accedes in her place, saying that it's a good idea, and he uses the shovel to cover the coals with dirt before they return inside.

Hanako watches instead of playing the poker game, her mind is still stuck on what had just occurred. She was distracted for the rest of the night.