Connie and Lula were surrounded by magazines when I walked into the office. Lula said she had heard I was dress shopping and, even though I hadn't officially asked her yet, decided to help me out by starting to look for a bridesmaid dress. She had enlisted Connie for help and they had systematically gone through what appeared to be every bridal magazine in Trenton.
I set my body receipt down on Connie's desk and said "I got Dupont. I managed to find and capture him all by myself."
"It was quite the takedown too" Connie said.
Confused, I asked her how she had heard already. "Someone got the whole thing on their phone and uploaded it to Facebook. It's already been shared over 1000 times. I think you're going to go viral" she proclaimed while she was writing out the check for my body receipt.
"Fantastic" I said opening my phone and clicking on my Facebook app. Sure enough, the top story on my news feed was a video of me chasing Dupont down the street in a wedding dress. I didn't watch the whole thing, I knew what had happened. At least I wouldn't have to explain this one to my mother because she had witnessed the whole thing.
Lula asked if I wanted to go back after Nathanial again today and I looked at the clock. My dress shopping takedown had taken most of the day and it was late afternoon. "Not today. I'm going to go pick up Pino's and head to Joe's. I haven't talked to him about yesterday yet and I'm sure he'll have something to say about today's video. We can start fresh on Nathanial tomorrow morning."
I went out to the Buick and drove over the Pino's to get a couple of meatball subs. Then I stopped and got a 6 pack of beer to go with it and headed over to Joe's. I was still out in the backyard with Bob when I heard his door open and the sound of footsteps. I turned around as Joe was walking through the door into the backyard.
He greeted me with a kiss and said "This is an improvement from the empty house I came home to yesterday. Did I smell meatball subs when I was walking through?"
We headed in and I tossed one of the meatballs out of my sub at Bob who caught it mid-air and swallowed it whole. Morelli got him a bowl of dog kibbles and we carried our subs into the living room to eat while we watched the game. After we finished eating we kept watching in silence, but Morelli didn't seem to be paying any attention to the game. He finally drained his beer and said "I thought you promised not to call him anymore."
I knew exactly what he was talking about, looks like I wasn't getting out of that fight after all. "I didn't call him. He was just there. And he wasn't following me, it was all just a coincidence." I explained.
He looked at me sadly, "It doesn't really matter why he was there. You accepted his help after I specifically asked you not to. You didn't even try to call me."
"He was already there. And you were at work. The last time I called you for help you yelled at me. I was going to try to get him my mom's backseat, but you saw how I was dressed and I couldn't leave him with just my mom and Grandma Mazur while I got changed. I would've had to bring him into the station wearing a wedding dress."
He smiled at me, "I did like the dress. But after yesterday, that was not the news I wanted to get today. I was at a crime scene yesterday when you called and wasn't really in a position to leave, but I wasn't going to leave you stranded on that section of Stark even long enough to make calls to find someone else to go get you. And then today I was coming out of an interrogation when someone told me that my fiancé had taken down a skip while she was wearing a wedding dress and one of the Rangeman thugs dropped him off for her."
He got up and walked into the kitchen coming back with another beer. He took a long drink before continuing "Then he showed me the video. Even knowing that you were going to catch him and be ok watching you chase him and take him down on the sidewalk had my stomach in knots." He walked over and looked out the window for a minute. I started to offer him assurance that I was fine but he stopped me. "That wasn't the worst part though. The worst part was the end, when you had the cuffs on him and had got him on his feet. And he shows up. The camera managed to catch both of your faces. He was looking at you like you some kind of delicacy. And then you turn around and see him and all the stress that was on your face just melted away. The video didn't pick up your voices. But I could tell he was offering to help and I could tell you wanted to take it. But you were saying no and I knew that was for me."
I didn't know what to say to that. Morelli was a bit more astute than I had thought. But I guess as he was one of the leading homicide detectives in Trenton, so I should have expected him to be better at reading people.
I hadn't thought of anything to say when he continued. "I really wish you would just stop doing this job. You're going to get yourself hurt and I can't always be immediately available to come rescue you. I can't do my job if I'm always on edge waiting for a call from you telling me that you are stranded because your car blew up again. Not to mention that this job is going to keep bringing you in contact with him and I don't trust him around you."
"It's not that I don't understand, but I can't give up my job. If I give up my job I give up my independence. I already have to give up my apartment and move in to your house. And all of your stuff is better than my stuff so I can't imagine you keeping any of my stuff. If I do all of that and you change your mind about me, I'm just like Jessica Russo. I'll have no job, no place to live, and no stuff other than my clothes. Rex and I would be living with my parents until I can find another new job."
It was his turn to stare at me. Finally, he said "That's why you won't quit your job? Because even though we are engaged you still aren't sure we are going to last? Why did you say yes?"
"I said yes because I love you. But I never want to be dependent on any guy ever again. It was hard starting over again after Dickie. I found that job as a lingerie buyer but then then that ended. I thought I was going to have to move in with my parents when I started with Vinnie. Which I really have you to thank for that." I smiled because Morelli was my first ever skip. If I hadn't had the motivation of getting back at Morelli for all of the crap he had done as a kid and teenager, I probably wouldn't have ever started working as a bounty hunter. "Your bounty got my rent all caught up and made me realize that I could really pay my bills."
Morelli looked almost nauseated when he said "You're never going to quit this job? Even after we are married and settled. You're always going to want to keep chasing criminals around town."
"I'm so sorry, but yes. The thought of a life as a traditional Burg wife sends me into a panic. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop working. I don't know what the future is going to hold for me, but I can tell you for sure I won't be able to give it up anytime soon." Tears were starting to form in my eyes as I realized where this was going.
"Cupcake" he said, brushing a tear from my cheek with his thumb. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. "I don't think I like where this conversation is going. I love you. But I'm ready to settle down. And I do want the traditional burg life. I want it with you, but I don't think I can live my life like this long term."
The tears were coming unchecked as I wrapped my arms around him. "I wish I could be different. I wish I could just be the Burg wife everyone wants me to be."
Morelli waited until the tears slowed and he asked "What do we do now?"
I looked down at the beautiful ring on my hand and around his comfortable house. "I don't see how we move forward from here."
He got up from the couch and said "Neither do I." He started collecting cans and plates and walked into the kitchen. I looked around the living room and gathered up my stuff and put it back in my messenger bag and then followed him into the kitchen.
He was just standing there leaning against the counter. I stopped and we stood there for a moment just looking at each other. This wasn't our first break up. In fact, we had broken-up and gotten back together more times than I could count, all the way back to age 5. Somehow this time it felt more permanent. I slid his ring off of my finger and placed it in his hand. He closed his hand around mine and held my eyes. He pulled me in for a final soft kiss. I left quickly before I changed my mind and promised him everything that I knew would eventually make me miserable.
Big blue was waiting for me at the curb. I stopped at 7-11 and bought 3 pints of Ben & Jerry's before I went back to my apartment. Rex came out to greet me as I walked in, probably hopeful for a crumb of meatball sub or doughnut. But I didn't have anything for him so I dropped a few hamster kibbles in his bowl. He didn't seem too interested in those and went back into his soup can for a nap.
I changed back into my sweats and Joe's sweatshirt. It was too big which was a comfort. I let its long sleeves fall all the way down over my hands and took my ice cream to the couch where the tears started fresh. 1.5 pints later I was less tearful and a little sick to my stomach. I put the rest of my ice cream in the freezer and collapsed back on the couch. I suppose I should get used to this life. I'd just ended a solid relationship with a great guy because I was too afraid to commit. The odds of that coming along again seemed unlikely.
