A/N I don't own 'em. That would be slavery! Thanks to the ones who review. I so love reviews. Does Snoopy dance! And thanks for the alerts and faves and for you invisible ones who check this out. Don't own the song. I think I used it before, but it just fit so perfectly. There are some really dumb angel songs out there. Believe me, in my research I've checked just about every one! This chapter is HUGE! And I just kind of ended it, didn't I? Oh, what will happen to our fave angel?

The Winds of Change

Chapter Eight:

"In the arms of an Angel"

That…kiss. Cas shook his head and tried to clear it, but he could still feel Dean's lips on his, feel his rock hard body against his, feel his arms around him, feel those limber fingers in his hair. Feel his knees give way. Feel…

Stop! The silent command rang in his brain. How am I supposed to react? Was my response sufficient? Dean seemed content, even happy. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. And…I am happy. That kiss! I have witnessed the birth of stars and seen them die. And yet, that kiss is a supernova in my heart; a wondrous, beautiful thing. I can find no comparison.

Cas frowned. He needed to be at the top of his game and he knew he wasn't even close. Removing Michael's armor had taken a lot of strength from his grace. He had flown with Dean because he was unable to "zap" him in the usual manner. He moved his shoulders, flexed his neck. He was waiting for Crowley. Time was running out for Dean. If I must make a deal with Crowley…

"'Ello, and how's our lovely little halo boy today?" Crowley appeared and gazed about the meeting place in disdain. "You couldn't find a better place to summon me?" He peered up at the broken shingles on the roof and his eyes widened a little when he saw the sigil on the floor that meant he was trapped. "You know, that shows a lack of trust, love. What have I ever done for you not to trust me?"

"I need to find Lilith and end her."

Crowley smiled. "I thought she was off limits. Holy edict, wasn't it?"

"I. Need. To. Find. Her."

"And I'm happy to help with that," Crowley said congenially and then raised a finger. "All I ask is a tiny, inconsequential favor in return."

Don't do this! You are going against everything you believe in! Inside, Castiel agonized. I can't lose Dean!

"What is the favor?" The words tasted like bile in his mouth.

"Once Lilith is dead, there's only one other tiny obstacle in my way."

Seriously? Am I hearing this? "I cannot destroy Lucifer."

"No," Crowley said with a hint of a smile. "But you can take care of ole Lucy's vessel and prevent the Apocalypse."

Cas injected righteous anger into his eyes, making them flare like twin suns. "I will not harm one hair on Sam Winchester's head!" He turned away. "We are done!"

Crowley made a placating gesture. "Wait, wait, wait." He said nothing more until Castiel faced him again. "So, we take that off the table." He made a motion of clearing a space. "All better?"

Castiel shook with repressed fury. "I don't believe you know where Lilith is."

"Oh, I do, but I don't give anything away for nothing." He spread his hands. "It's in my job description."

"What do you want?"

"You. In Hell." Crowley sighed. "I know, I know, comes as a terrible shock, but have you any idea the amount of status you cost me when you stole Dean Winchester?" He noted Cas' scowl. "Yes, Alastair was in charge of that part of Hell, but I was his overseer." He rolled his eyes. "Lucifer was furious with me. He bloody demoted me! Sent me to roam the Earth in a meat suit." He made a face. "So, yes, if you want to save Dean, you'll surrender to me." He flicked an imaginary speck off his lapel. "Just to show you what a stand-up demon I am, I'll let you go say good-bye to him."

"I'm the only one keeping him alive," Castiel said, his shoulders sagging. A thought occurred to him, and he straightened. "Michael will never let anything happen to Dean."

"Oh, Michael, Miguel, Mikey, whatever. St. Mike's already shopping around for another vessel. You think Dean and Sam are the only seed of John Winchester?" He made a rude noise. "The man did sow more oats. And what he doth sow, Michael will reap." Crowley's eyes glowed with a sinister red light. "And that means he won't give a rat's ass what happens to pretty boy Dean." He acted as if he was stacking a house of cards. "If Lilith doesn't die, Dean will die and land in Hell, and I must tell you, lines are forming already for the honor of ripping him a new one, over and over and over again."

'Where is Lilith?" Castiel shook now out of fear and desperation.

"First: do we have a deal?"

For you, Dean. Castiel bowed his head in defeat. "Yes."

Crowley sniggered, grabbed a handful of Castiel's T-shirt and kissed him full on the mouth. "SWAK," the demon cackled.

Castiel scrubbed at his lips. No one had ever kissed him but Dean and he felt unclean, defiled. Only Dean's mouth on his could cleanse his spirit.

"Now, go say bye-bye to your boy." Crowley walked through the sigil on the floor. "Null and void now that we've sealed our deal." He smiled. "I'll be waiting here for you."

Cas disappeared from his sight.

"Is he gone?"

Crowley turned to the owner of the voice. "Yes, you can come out now."

Gabriel revealed himself. "You poured it on a little thick at the end, don't you think?"

Crowley tapped his chest. "Me, Tester." He pointed to Gabriel. "You, Trickster."

"I won't let you take Cas to Hell," Gabriel cautioned lightly.

"We have a deal." Crowley shrugged nonchalantly. "You're my witness."

"I witnessed nothing but you tricking my brother." Gabriel resorted to his true voice and the shingles that were left on the roof exploded into the air, pulverized into powder.

"Oh, ouch." Crowley rolled his eyes. "Not your ordinary demon, so tone the decibels down. You'll have my Hellhounds howling for decades."

"Where's Lilith?"

"I didn't tell Castiel. Why would I tell you?"

"Because I have Michael's sword?" Gabriel waggled his eyebrows, but when he wielded the great sword, Crowley showed real fear for the first time.

"I'm just doing my bloody job!"

Gabriel held Michael's sword at the ready. "And I'm doing mine: protecting my brother."

"Fine." Crowley sounded petulant. "I'll tell you where she is." He paused dramatically. "Don't suppose you could take out Lucifer for me?"

"Talk to Michael about that."

Crowley considered it. "Well, you do have his sword."

"And, I'm going to use it to slice you up into tiny pieces…"

Crowley sniffed. "Right wanker, aren't you?" He considered his options. "I'll take you to Lilith."

Gabriel mulled it over. "One false move and I slice and dice."

"I get it."

The two: the archangel and the demon, disappeared.

Dean lay in bed, fever raging, his breathing growing more labored with each passing minute. It hadn't been a full day since Cas left and Dean had gotten sick this time a lot faster and the symptoms were a lot more serious. He looked up through pain-glazed eyes and met Sam's worried gaze. Sammy wasn't even trying to put on a brave face this time. He wore the face Dean had seen so many times during the infamous year before Dean died and went to Hell. Those big puppy dog eyes glistened with tears, some already escaping and running down to his chin.

"Hey," Dean croaked. I need to say something that'll take the terror out of his eyes, make him smile, maybe even laugh. Dammit, I can't think of anything! Sammy, I'm dying here, and I wish I could make it easy on you. I need to tell you how much I love you…before it's too late. He opened his mouth, determination forming in his eyes.

Sam squeezed Dean's hand he was holding. "Don't try to talk, Dean." Dean saw his brother's Adam's apple bob up and down, and heard his voice falter. "I know. Me, too."

Bobby was sitting beside the bed, on the other side, holding Dean's other hand. "You two idjits don't even think of saying good-bye," he said in that growly voice Dean had come to depend on and love so much.

Just then, Balthazar walked into the room. "How bad is he?" he asked.

If there was character stamped on a face, Balthazar's was a prime example. He had lines formed more by scowls than smiles. The blue eyes had been stamped on by crows. Dean smirked at the strange picture that came to mind. Balthazar had made it quite clear he was only helping Dean because Cas asked. Gabriel had disappeared off to wherever without a word to anyone, so it fell to Balthazar to watch over Dean, a duty the angel was not interested in and had no bones about letting the humans know it.

"Bad," Sam said, wiping at tears with his free hand.

Balthazar strolled to the window and peered out at the snowscape. He gave the curtains an irritated twitch. He turned and regarded Dean. "The things I do for Castiel," he said, sighing.

Dean could only cough as his lungs constricted. He waved the angel back, but Balthazar moved forward. At the same time, Sam and Bobby moved out of his way.

Balthazar sat on the bed and leaned over Dean, who was having apoplexy. His face was fiery red and he was struggling to sit up, arms flailing.

"You hairless apes really are the most ungrateful…" Balthazar began and then blew out a cleansing breath. "I'm doing this for Cas," he recited. He gave Dean a no-nonsense look. "So, pucker up, sweetheart."

"That won't be necessary."

Dean fell back against his pillows when he heard the gravelly voice. "Cas," Dean gasped.

Castiel didn't say anything to the other occupants of the room, but his steely gaze made them all exit. Cas sat on the bed close to Dean. The hunter was too weak to sit up, but he lifted his arms, beckoning to Cas. The angel gently pulled Dean into his lap, cradling his body across his knees, one hand supporting the back of Dean's neck as the hunter's head lolled to the side.

"I'm here, Dean. It's okay." Cas smoothed damp hair back from the fevered brow. "You're okay."

Cas lowered his head and his lips blended with Dean's as he blew life-giving breath after breath into the hunter. At first, Dean didn't respond, but his breathing finally eased. Cas broke the kiss and pressed an ear to Dean's chest and listened to his heart. It was beating normally now. He raised his head and found Dean was looking at him.

"How are you feeling?" Suddenly, Cas wanted to distance himself from Dean.

"Better now that you're here." Dean looked dejected. "Guess you haven't found Lilith yet."

"I will. I have a lead." Tell him you won't be able to return to him. "My brothers will watch over you, Dean."

That smirk flashed for a fleeting moment and then Dean was somber. Cas gently moved Dean off his lap, stood and walked to the window. He stared out at a branch that was coated in ice. He found it strangely beautiful.

"Cas, what's up with you?" Dean got up and invaded Cas' personal space. "You having second thoughts?" Dean laid a hand on Cas' back and gently rubbed it. "Because you don't have to do this. I don't want you to do this. We'll figure out another way."

Cas didn't reply. He closed his eyes as Dean's hands settled on his shoulders and his strong fingers began to work the knots out of Cas' neck. Tension sang through the angel and he knew Dean was picking up on it, but there was nothing he could do. Letting his hunter die was not an option.

"Cas, why won't you talk to me?" Dean firmly turned Cas to face him. Green eyes bored into blue and they were like searchlights, leaving Cas nowhere to hide.

"I'm tired, Dean. Occasionally, even angels do get tired."

"It's my fault for putting on Michael's armor. Cas…I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I should've known Michael had an agenda when he loaned it to me. Gabriel still has his sword." Cas stretched his neck muscles and moaned softly.

Dean guided the angel to the bed. "Lie down, dude. Rest."

"Angels don't sleep."

"Humor me here." Dean sounded mildly annoyed and amused at the same time.

"All right."

Cas laid down in the bed, prone, stiff, arms folded over his chest. Dean chuckled.

"Man, you look like a damn corpse! Roll over on your side."

Cas didn't see what difference it made what position he took, but Dean was being pushy and Cas didn't want to argue over such an insignificant thing. He rolled onto his left side.

"Close your eyes."

Cas closed his eyes. They flew open when Dean crawled into bed with him. Dean flung one arm over Cas' waist and he felt Dean move close, until their bodies almost merged. It was not…unpleasant.

Cas moved his left arm to serve as a pillow for his head; he moved his right arm and reached out to take Dean's hand in his. Dean rubbed his calloused thumb over Cas' fingers one by one and then he intertwined his with Cas'.

What am I supposed to do? What is Dean doing? Is this a form of comfort?

Dean hummed under his breath and the sound resonated in Cas. He closed his eyes and a little smile crept to his lips. Dean was singing him to sleep, or trying, because angels didn't sleep… He found it very, very sweet.

Dean felt Cas' breathing change as he softly hummed Brahm's Lullaby to his angel. How corny! He'd searched his memory for something soothing and vaguely remembered his mother singing it to him. He didn't remember the words, but the tune was easy enough. He cradled Cas in his arms, holding him as close as he dared. Having his angel in bed with him was probably breaking all sorts of rules, but he just wanted to be close to him, to hold him, to wipe that look of pain from his features, to feel him relax like he was now.

"Dean…"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"This feels…nice."

"Yeah, it does."

"Dean…"

"Yeah?"

"I…need to tell you something."

"Not right now." Dean raised up and kissed exposed skin. Cas' T-shirt had hiked up and there was a tantalizing strip of pale skin. Cas' belly fluttered.

"Dean, what are you doing? That…tickles."

Dean lay back down and turned on his back, still holding Cas, but not wanting him to feel Dean's sudden arousal.

It's normal, he told his little voice sternly before it could start in on him, but it was strangely silent. Cas is in a human vessel. A guy vessel. Guys get turned on. Hell, it doesn't take much! Is Cas turned on right now like I am?

Cas pretended to sleep, keeping his eyes shut, but in reality, he was savoring all the different feelings of lying there with Dean. Dean's body is warm. Does he know how fragile it is? Humans are so fragile, but they are easy to fix. Just a touch of angel grace. He frowned. Dean should've healed the first time, spell dagger or not. Something's not right about this. I asked Balthazar and Gabriel before I left last time if either of them could heal him and they told me they couldn't. But Gabriel's an archangel!

Dean's turning on his back. I…liked…what is the term? Spooning? Strange term, but it fits as we fit together. Why did he turn on his back? Am I not reacting like he wants? What does he want? Will he mind if I lay my head on his shoulder? This feels…nice. I…almost could fall asleep like this.

Dean smiled when he heard a soft snore from Cas. He had lulled his angel to sleep. Of course, he wasn't going to be able to sleep, but that was okay. He wanted to savor the feeling of having Cas this close. Won't act on it. He groaned when Cas turned and laid his head on Dean's shoulder. He caressed the angel's soft hair and chastely pulled Cas' T-shirt down so he wouldn't see the temptation. Cas made an m-mmmm sound deep in his throat and cuddled even closer. Dean continued to stroke his hair.

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Dean had heard the song earlier that day. Sam had told him to listen to music to help take his mind off the pain. The lyrics tore at his defenses. What's with all the angel refs? Angel song after angel song and even the movie we watched was about an angel taking the final plunge from Heaven? He glanced up at the ceiling. If I didn't know any better I'd think they were signs, but Daddy Dearest up there doesn't care about us little ants down here.

Dean saw a little frown form between Cas' brows. Wonder if he's dreaming. Do angels dream?

Cas struggled, his grace destroying what seemed to be legions of demons, but they kept coming. He saw Crowley on a throne made of human skulls, commanding the demons to seize him. Cas fought with his angel blade and he managed to kill hundreds, but they kept coming!

Finally, he was overwhelmed and chains of fire were placed on his wrists. He was dragged before Crowley, whose features were vile and evil and elongated as if his face was made of wax and it was melting in the toxic inferno of Hell. Demons fawned at his feet. Crowley gestured to two very large demons with red slits for eyes.

"Let's pick our little chicken clean," Crowley said.

Castiel screamed in outrage when his wings were seized and spread to their full length. He screamed again and again as each feather was torn out. Blood pooled beneath his feet, but he could not escape the torture. He watched Crowley come over, holding a very sharp, sinister looking instrument.

"No flying out of here for you, halo boy." With one cleaving motion, Crowley wielded the instrument. Castiel fell to his knees, his whole body seizing in agony as he watched one of his wings fall to the sizzling ground. Blood spurted from his back. His other wing was lopped off and Castiel cried out to Heaven to deliver him. Just as he was about to pass out, he heard Crowley laughing.

"Cas! CAS!"

Hands patted Cas' face and his eyes flew open. They were wild and filled with unimaginable pain. He met Dean's confused, worried gaze, but he couldn't speak. He pushed Dean aside and leaped to his feet and spread his wings. He unfurled them, examining them, relief coursing through him. He turned to meet Dean's eyes.

"I'm fine, Dean."

"You must've had a nightmare, Cas. You cried out and looked like you were fighting something."

Dean wants to know what I dreamed, but I can't tell him. It is what will happen to me. I can't let him know. When I don't come back, he'll think I returned to Heaven. He'll curse me and call me a "child" and I'll never feel his lips on mine again or feel his arms hold me. You're worth it, Dean.

"Cas, something's been bothering me." It was Dean's hunter instinct coming to the fore.

"What ?"

"How strong can Lilith be? I mean, we've got an archangel. Can't he out mojo her? Why can't I be healed?"

Cas examined the floor. There was a mark in the rug that looked like a burn. "I don't know."

"I wish you wouldn't go."

"I know."

"But you don't know why. Cas, something's up with you!" Dean had bridged the small gap between them and his nose nudged Cas'. "You're holding out on me."

Cas jerked his head back and glared at Dean. Now he got it about the personal space thing. I won't lie to him. "I…must go."

"No! Dammit, Cas! Don't cut out on me because you don't want to answer the damn question!"

"I don't wish to fight with you, Dean."

"Just… Aw, damn." Dean took Cas in his arms and kissed him and, if Cas expected a repeat of the other kiss, this was nothing like it.

Dean kissed Cas, and this time he knew it was borne of desperation and desire. He crushed Cas' lips and penetrated his mouth with his tongue.

Boundaries! That friggin' little voice.

Screw boundaries! I'll kiss the truth out of you, Cas!

Cas struggled briefly and then he seemed to follow Dean's lead.

He doesn't know how to kiss! He's a damn virgin!

Cas tongue met Dean's shyly. His eyes were wide open.

Just go with it, Cas.

What are you doing to me, Dean? Why is this so pleasant? Isn't it unsanitary? Oh, but I don't care! Your tongue is hot and it's flicking over my teeth and dueling with mine.

Dean stopped and Cas couldn't read the expression on the hunter's face. He glanced down pointedly and then he smirked as if he knew something Cas didn't.

"Dean…"

"Shut up, Cas. Just shut up for now."

"Yes."

Dean silently rejoiced as he kissed Cas. So the angel could be aroused. He'd looked down and seen the evidence.

Don't stop kissing me, Dean. This will have to last me for eternity. I…want to give you everything.

TBC…