Disclaimer: Same as always.

A/N : About the whole editing issue, for some reason I am unable to access the Beta Reader section of this site. So I do apolagize and hope you will all have patience with me despite how much I probably don't deserve it. Again, I thank everything single one of you for the reviews. I can assure you they are greatly loved.

On a different note, not sure I like this one... Hmmm.

I know, that sometimes Shuichi wishes that he wasn't famous. He wishes he was normal because he can still remember what normal feels like. And I know, sometimes, he contemplates throwing it all away while he still is able to. Because very, very soon, I'd say probably after this next national tour of Japan Bad Luck is scheduled to do next month, after that, there will be no running from fame anymore. No matter what he chooses to do from then on he will still be in the spotlight. He is scared of fame not being fun anymore. He's scared of forgetting normal and then normal becoming the dream instead.

Sometimes I'll be sitting on the couch, reading a book while somewhere in the apartment Shu is doing God knows what. The radio will be on (because Shuichi hates the silence. It's something I've just recently learned about him, he's not loud because he wants to be, it's because he has to be.) and every once and awhile the annoyingly obnoxious woman on the radio will talk about some rumour or new scandal that he is involved in and Shu will quietly come running into my arms. I never understood why for the longest time.

I remember the first time this happened. It was directly after Shu and I had made our relationship publicly known. And of course, the news that famous (especially among middle aged women) romance novelist, Yuki Eiri was not only in a relationship with a famous (more so with teenage girls then middle aged women) pop star, but pop star Shindou Shuichi spread like wild fire. I can recall sitting exactly where I am sitting now, with Shuichi's head resting on my thigh, and listening to the radio. Which was odd because I usually hate the thing. I was waiting for them to mention us as I knew they would and sure enough they did. As soon as Shuichi's name was spoken he curled up, back facing the room, and buried his face in the crease between the back of the couch and my hip.

I looked down in surprise, feeling him trying to burrow his face even further, and placed my hand on his soft hair.

"Brat?" I asked in a concerned tone blanketed with amusement, "What are you doing?"

"Hiding."

"Obviously, but why?"

"I don't know."

I didn't press him. Because I remember the feeling. I remember the first dose of fame. I can remember the first scandal. Though not nearly to the same level as him. Not even close. And I can see the pressure that builds up on the tiny body. The whip lashed soul. I recognize and understand the need to block out all sight and just take a breather.

I know what it means to question your dreams.

But I also know what it means to trust yourself. And I believe that Shu is making the right decision. Because despite of all the baggage that follows, his smile is never bigger, his presence never more addicting, his life never more meaningful, then when that boy is on that stage.

I know what I am now, I've already questioned everything and figured it all out.

But Shuichi, he's just figuring it all out now. And I think he's just beginning to realize that he's chosen a life that once destined upon you it will forever be your title. He will forever be a singer and I believe that is what is best.

Because there is nothing, nothing, in this world my brat does better then singing.

Though his lyrics will forever suck.

A/N: What do you guys think? I don't like it. Meh, I'll get over it, maybe delete it.
Haha, I actually wrote this other story on Shu and Yuki discussing children, proceeded to put it on this site...

And then deleted it. Haha, not sure why. If anyone thinks they'd like to read it, tell me and I might bring it back on here.