Hello! Kurokumo here. Chapter eight is here. I've been busy writing the CCS series I'm attempting to work on, and it's on like, page sixteen. I'm neglecting this one too much, I know. So, on that note commence forthwith on chapter eight! Wh00t! Oh, and again, thank you so much for the reviews! (And last chapter, that was intended for there to not be the word "don't". ;) (Sorry about last chapter. I forgot the music it associates with... ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. (How many times is that now? Like, 7?) And I don't own Nickelback.
Rated M for language.
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I miss the town, I miss the faces,
You can't erase, you can't replace it,
I miss it now, I can't believe it
So hard to stay, too hard to leave it.
"Photograph", by Nickelback
I woke up, feeling worse than ever. Yeah, I was in rehab. It sucked, but it gave me an excuse to get away from the dog. About three weeks now... I haven't seen him for three weeks, and around the same time I attempted to quit. And I will do it. I got up groggily, heading to my actually-clean kitchen. It's amazing, I can actually think and do stuff such as chores.
Wait, why the fuck is that a good thing?
Chores sucked, really bad. I groaned, glancing at the clock. Five a.m.. It was Sunday, and I was up this early? What the hell woke me up this fucking early? I caught something blinking in the corner of my eye. Oh, right, it was the phone. I thought I heard a ringing sound. Wait, who the hell called at five in the morning? I reached for the message, pressing play.
"Oi, it's me."
Damn it, that freaking dog! I immediately pressed stop, and then deleted it. I didn't want to deal with him, no way. I smashed my fist against the table. Who the hell did he think he was, hah?! I was sick of him, the same way I was sick of drugs. I resented him. Why the hell did I save him in the first place?! Great, Hinata, you really are an idiot.
I walked back to my room. Well, I was up now, what should I do? Nothing was open this early, was it? No, of course not. I groaned. I grabbed some clothes out of my closet and went into the bathroom. I needed a shower. Stupid dog. Why won't he leave me alone? Hadn't I made it apparent that I hated him? Or had I not done enough? I took my clothes off, stepping into the shower. The hot water nearly scorched my skin, but I didn't care. My hair was immediately drenched as I washed it out. Stupid dog. Why the hell do I even care? I needed to stop thinking about him.
The water started to turn cold. I groaned, turning it off and stepping out. The room had warm steam as I reached for the towel. I dried myself off, putting my clothes on and staring in the mirror. I even was starting to look better, even with my eyes being grey-ish white. I smiled at that, stepping out of the room and bumped into something. What or who the fuck? I glanced up.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" I yelled. "BOUNDARIES, I TELL YOU!!"
Kiba blinked once at me. "Nice to see you too?"
"Wha--!?" I was enraged. "How the fuck did you get in?! I locked the door! And, most importantly, why the hell are you here so damn fucking early?!"
"I have a set of keys you gave me when you first moved in here," he smiled, spinning them around his finger. "Remember?"
Oh, shit. I forgot about that. No wonder why he came the first several times. Note to self: Change the fucking lock so dog-boy can't get in. I glared at him.
"And the reason why I'm here," he continued, blatantly avoiding my eyes. "Is because I feel like it. I missed you, and I figured that the best time to come was now. I don't know your schedule, anyways. I figured you'd be sleeping, so I left a message that I was coming. Didn't you get it?"
I felt like punching myself. Next time, listen to the entire message. Fuck me. I growled at him, going back to my room. He followed me.
"What the hell do you want?!" I yelled. "Haven't you done enough?! Leave, for cryin' out loud!"
"But I don't really want to," Kiba glared. "We need to talk, anyways. Please."
That sounded like an order to me. He looked so... serious. What, I wasn't taking drugs anymore, so what the hell could it be? I sighed, throwing my clothes in my room and coming back out into the living room. Screw it, I was up anyways. But I really didn't want to deal with him yet. Not now. Especially since... the hospital. I sat down on the couch, sighing.
"Well?" I asked. "What is it, dog?"
He sat next to me, and I scooted as far away as possible from him. "Look, Hinata-chan, I'm sorry."
"Huh?" He was sorry? "What for? There's nothing to be all that sorry for, at least I don't think."
"I meant for the hospital," he sighed. "Look, just forget I said anything, okay? Pretend it never happened, alright? Because I know it was rather... idiotic of me to be asking you stuff like that, especially right there. So forget it for me."
"Okay...," I started to become angry. "Well, then what about the alley way when I was about to fucking kill your sorry little ass, hah?! I remember that pretty damn well!"
"Hinata--"
"And the kiss, too!" I yelled. "How many times have you kissed me, eh?! How the fuck did you expect me to forget all that?! Eh?! And here you are, asking me to 'pretend that nothing happened'?! What the fuck! Don't you even care on my opinion about this?!"
"I--"
"Just shut the fuck up and LEAVE!!" I yelled. "Haven't you done enough?! Just go, I never want to see you ever again, you here me?! It's over! I hate you! I HATE YOUR EVEN FUCKING EXISTENCE, SO FOR ONCE, MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND KILL YOURSELF!!"
I stopped. That didn't come out right. I didn't hate him. He looked at me once, then got up, heading out the door and left. I wanted to run after him, but that would do no good. Shit. I always did this. Damn me to hell, damn me to the ninth ring of hell. I whacked my head against the wall.
"Damn it, Hinata!" I yelled at myself. "Good going, you stupid bitch! Holy freaking hell."
I stared at the door, debating, and then took out my shoes. He couldn't run after me when I left out the door, but I can right now. I have the option, and I am not letting him get away, not like that. I'm going to have to apologize this early in the morning. Bloody hell. I put them on, grabbing my keys and locking the door. I ran down the stairs. He couldn't have gone too far. I ran out the front door. Which way would he go? Rain pelted against my already wet hair. Great, just what I wanted. It was still dark. I really couldn't see anything. I groaned, going left. I had to find him.
Damn you, Kiba.
Why did he always take everything so seriously?
I ran down the street. Visibility was nothing, especially with the rain coming in buckets. My clothes were soaked already. I ran faster. I was in better shape now, ever since I got off the drugs, which was especially good for this situation. Except the fact that I didn't know where I was going. That kind of put a damper on the situation, now didn't it? Fuck me.
"Kiba!" I yelled.
No answer. Don't tell me I went the wrong way. Bloody fuck. This is the second time, isn't it? The second time I've run after him. Why do I keep doing this? And why for him? I shook my head. That was definitely not the issue right now. It was wet and cold, and no sign of Kiba. Damn it.
"Oi, dog-boy, where the hell are you?!" I yelled. "Stop hiding from me and show yourself, you coward! You imbecile! I came to apologize, and I can't do that if I can't find you! Damn it, Kiba! Don't leave me all alone!"
Wait, what the fuck did I just say? I immediately shook my head. Stop talking crazy. I heard a splash of water behind me. I turned. There he was, drenched in the rain. He came towards me with one more step and stopped. What was he thinking? I walked up to him. He looked like hell, even worse than me. Oh, what the fuck did I do? Man, I was insensitive. I never used to be, but now I spoke whatever I thought, whatever I wanted without ever giving a damn. That wasn't me.
"Look, dog-boy," I started. "I apologize, okay? I didn't actually mean it."
His head hung low as he muttered something I didn't quite catch, but it sounded like "Sounded like you meant it". I became annoyed.
"Look at me," I said.
He shook his head. I grimaced, resisting the sudden urge to knock him out. I reached for his face, making his eyes locked with my own. He looked away.
"That was an order, not a request," I said.
He muttered something, then looked at me. Now we were getting somewhere. Bonus points for you, Hinata. The rain, even though I thought it wasn't possible, dumped even harder. I grimaced. This was definitely out of character for this time of year.
"Listen," I started again. "I didn't mean it, okay?"
"You hate me," he muttered.
"I do not!" I yelled. "I was just... really... annoyed. And it came out wrong. I mean, I can't hate you, it's nearly impossible for me to hate you. Okay, that isn't true. But you are my friend, right?" Wow. This sounded like me, the old me. "We've been friends since... well, forever. Sort of like you and Akamaru, right? And friends argue. A lot. But I never actually meant it."
"You say it all the time," he drooped his head again.
"I only do that because I'm a bad friend," I tried to explain. "I mean, I took drugs and such. Friends don't do that, right? At least the good ones. They don't make their friends worry. Augh, what am I saying? I'm really bad at explaining these things, Kiba. But I can do one thing. I'm sorry."
"Don't," he whispered. I could barely hear him from all the rain. "Don't. You made yourself clear that you don't want me around anymore. You never returned my calls. You say you hate me and want me to disappear out of your life. You know what? I'll stop being selfish and for once give you what you want. After all, you hate me."
He turned away and started to walk away. I stood there for a moment, shocked.
"This isn't what I want," I managed.
He stopped.
"What I want is my friend," I felt myself crying. Damn it. "I want my friend back. I want him to laugh and visit. I want him to convince me that my life is actually worth living, and to keep myself clean. I want him to try to convince me to go back to school and get my high school diploma, even if it means I'll be held back a year for being missing for so long. I want him to stay and not walk away from me, not like this."
He turned and looked at me. "Naruto can do that for you."
"He's not you!" I yelled.
"Yeah," he nodded. "I know, he's better than me."
"Like hell he is!" I screamed.
"Forget it, Hinata-san," he shook his head. "You said it's over, so it's over."
Hinata-san. He called me Hinata-san. That wasn't like Kiba. He turned and started walking away again. I collapsed to my knees. I didn't want to move. I wouldn't move. No one cared. I made everything worse. He's not coming back, ever. Why would he? I only made everything worse. I screamed in agony. He wasn't coming back. Never again. I collapsed completely. Damn it. Damn me. I'm the worst. I closed my eyes as the rain poured even harder, drowning out my thoughts that were already quickly fading into nothingness as darkness took over.
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Oh, damn. Wow. Okay... (emotional overload) They killed the chipmunk! Damn hunters! Okay. So, did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Destroy it? Give me a review, please. You guys are awesome by far for reviews! This one is for my little brother (he gave me ideas for this chapter... ), to Saki, Elizabeth, and my readers. Especially the ones that give me reviews. Really, I thank you. See ya at chapter nine!
