Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IV
Back to the troublesome duo again. FFIV just has all the tortured lovers. And I guess that's why we love it so much. So Schaudenfrauidic...
Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, even if it is mega short. Enjoy!
054. Nowhere
She was like a queen of ice - a snow queen - freezing and capturing my heart in a sudden frenzy of cold, deadly emotion. And then, out of nowhere, pulling it back whenever she so pleased with a click of her pointed fingers. She was not quite like the Water Archfiend Cagnazzo, who emanated an aura of cool and chaotic liquid power around him at all times; no. She was far more unpredictable, relying perhaps too much on her emotions for her powers.
Perhaps it was only me she had affected. When I could see with my own eyes, feel with my own hands, think with my own mind - she was always on hand, always ready to encapsulate me in her stormy emotions, or freeze my heart and shatter it with a blink of her bright, angular, sultry eyes. She had me on a leash that none could see; no matter the torment, no matter the pain, I would crawl back to her every time. When I was down on my knees, pleading for respite from her hits or taunts of pleasure, I'd still come back to her open, beckoning hand. I was like an animal, being cast into the middle of nowhere, but returning back to her every time.
I'm not sure if I ever loved her. She had me in the throes of passion, in the heady state of obsessive limerence, never letting me far from her control in my lucid hours. And yet, I've often thought that she may have just been controlling me as much as Golbez did. Manipulating my mind, preying on my already raw emotions. She wanted me, needed me, and so she would have me. Like an ice queen, she laughed down at me - the sound, a thousand tinkling shards of ice - she was almost cruel to me. Maybe I was just convenient, having sprung from nowhere, and would go back to nowhere as soon as my use was spent.
And despite this, she sometimes lay with me in placid silence. Sometimes, she would talk to me in a strangled voice of things other than threats and violence and cackling taunts. Sometimes, she would look at me with eyes full of what I dared to think was love. It was a sordid, cruel, all too abusive relationship, but I think during those times I did grow to love her.
And then, as soon as my mind needed to be controlled once more, the doubt seeped in from the deep nowhere of mind, and I was easy prey once more.
Man, abusive relationships are scary. A serious note here: if you're ever in what you think may be an abusive relationship - do what you need to to keep yourself safe, and ask for help. I can't emphasise that enough. Sure, the system isn't great, but asking for help is the best thing you can do.
On a slightly more upbeat note: please follow for more and review if you've got time. Thanks!
