Caspian and the siblings knew Susan was bleeding heavily. The nurses rushed by them with stained bedding and clothing, murmuring to each other and looking pained. It was gone.
His heir.
Susan's baby.
Their child.
Edmund took Lucy into the room to administer the cordial, in hopes it would help Susan heal...physically at least. Who knows what emotional state she would be in once she woke up to find she had miscarried because Peter and Caspian couldn't be civilized toward one another. The bustling inside the room calmed, no doubt because the cordial had worked its magic. Caspian immediately felt panicked. How could he face her? What could he say? He glanced at Peter and immediately had to fight the urge to strangle him with his bare hands. After all, it was only half Peter's fault Susan had fallen. Caspian was there as well. He had the power to stop the fight, control his anger and not let it get the best of him. That's what Susan always said.
Caspian breathed in deeply and looked down as a tear threatened to streak down his face. The child he had already spent hours talking to...the child who was already starting to watch change her usually flat belly...was dead. He never got the chance to see his eyes, smile or hear him cry. Caspian clenched his fist so tight he could have sworn he drew blood. Lucy came out of the room with Edmund, her usually vibrant face drooped in a frown. "She wants to see you Peter..." Caspian looked aghast. She wanted to speak with him first? Was it not his child who was lost? Caspian was too overwhelmed with pain to protest. He simply sunk down the wall and rested his head on his knees.
Inside the room, Peter sat down on a chair next to Susan's bed. She laid there, staring at nothing. Her face was wet and her eyes were bright red. He could tell she had cried hard for the loss, and could no longer continue to shed tears. They were in silence for an eternity. "Did you do it on purpose Peter? Did you push me down the stairs on purpose? I know you didn't want me to have his child...but I never thought you would do something so cruel." Susan spat as she rolled over, turning her back to him. Peter sputtered, "S-s-s-Susan! How could you even believe that?! I would never do something so...how could you even think that of me?! I would never hurt you. I am not like him. I will never say I love you, then hurt you the way he has." Susan whirled back around and smacked Peter with all her might, causing her hand to sting. His head jerked violently, nearly throwing him off balance as she sat up in the bed, breathing hard and glaring at him with clenched teeth. "You have always treated me like an incapable fool! A bumbling idiot who doesn't know enough to take care of herself! Well look where it's gotten you Peter! Look where you doing what's best for me has gotten me!" her voice dripped with venom. He held his face in shock as a red mark began forming where her hand had connected to his pale skin. Peter didn't know what to say. He couldn't speak. She was right. He hung his head and slowly shuffled from the room. His eyes were dazed as he sunk down into a nearby chair.
Caspian had been thinking about what he would say to Susan when he saw her...how she would react. He finally built up enough courage to enter the room an hour after Peter exited. Susan laid there with her back to the door. He sat on the bed and tried to touch her, but she quickly yanked away, "What do you want?" she sniffled as she scooted away from him. His heart sank, "I wanted to comfort you." She turned to him and glared, "Then comfort me by leaving my chamber." Caspian had never seen her this way before. So angry...so hostile. This was not the Susan he knew and loved. He stood and left, leaving her to cry softly. It was his fault. He'd always lost his temper at the wrong times and that would be fine if he were just a man...but he was a king. He should have the strength and will to walk away. That was what she had been saying since the first day they met. Caspian had begun to make sense of the situation when the familiar, panicky feeling wormed its way back into his chest. No child...no Susan. Would Aslan take her away now that there was nothing tying them together? Caspian felt anxiety begin to take hold of him yet again.
For a full week, Susan stayed in her chambers, refusing to see or speak to Caspian and Peter. She depended on Edmund and Lucy for all the comfort and social interaction she needed. The "two who were to blame" as Lucy called them, rarely spoke to one another, but it was clear that nothing good would come of their fighting each other. Caspian would spend all of his free time sitting outside of Susan's door. He took all of his meals there and even signed budgetary agreements right outside of her chambers. He sat there, just hoping...no praying...that in the event that she did ask for him, he would be close by.
By the 8th day, Susan emerged from her room, looking as well as she did before the accident. Lucy told her of Caspian holding vigil outside of her chambers night and day, so she was not surprised to see him sitting on the floor in front of her. A beard grew on his face and he wore an unsure smile. She nodded to him, "Caspian." He almost let her walk away before he caught her by the waist, pulling her toward him so he could whisper in her ear, "I understand you are hurting, but you are not the only one who has lost a child. I know you blame me...but now, I know what it is you spoke of when we first met my queen. I know I must learn to control myself...but my love for you drives every fiber of my being. It nearly drives me mad. Everything I have done and will do...be it good or bad...will always be for you. Please keep that in your mind." A lone tear fell down her face. She'd spent so much time crying, she knew that was all she had to spare. She let him hold her for a moment, before she slid from his embrace and walked away.
