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Lizzy tried to ignore the clench in her body that his velvety murmur made as she put a finger to her lips to silence him. She smiled naughtily, and took two soft steps into the lounge towards the rather oblivious couple in the corner. Then Lizzy let rip in her shrillest voice possible.
"Jane Eleanor Bennet, I did not raise you to be a common hussy, what on earth do you think you are doing to this poor young man?!"
Her words had their desired effect. No sooner had she begun than Jane had leapt up in horror, flinging Charles away from her and attempting to get up with what little decorum she had left. Unfortunately, the hand happily ensconced up the back of her dress made such a manouevre impossible, and only served to throw Charles onto the floor with her toppling close behind. Needless to say it didn't take long for Will and Lizzy's laughter to reach the beet red couple, and Jane felt her heart slowly descend from her throat.
"Elizabeth Bennet, I swear to God I will kill you for that!" She placed a hand on her heart, willing it to stop banging against her ribs. "I don't think I'll ever find your impression of our mother funny again. It's far too bloody convincing. God almighty, I think I'm having a heart attack."
By this point Lizzy and Will were having to prop themselves against the doorway, trying desperately to breathe against the giggles. Jane and Charles were an utter state, with both hair and clothing at absurd angles. It couldn't have happened to a nicer, more cherubic looking twosome.
"Jane," Charles finally said breathlessly, "I take it back. I dislike your sister immensely."
"Oh you two, I am sorry, but I just couldn't resist!" She and Will pealed off into more laughter, and the two on the floor used the time to make themselves somewhat more presentable.
"Oh you will pay for that my friends." Charles said, standing up and sorting his shirt out.
"Come on Charles," Will said, beaming from ear to ear, "it's your own fault for getting hot and heavy so publicly!"
"No more than you two were out there." Charles retorted, dampening their snickering and painting both their cheeks a similar crimson. "Why do you think we left in the first place?"
"To find somewhere more intimate, clearly!" Lizzy countered.
"Well," Jane chimed in, "I heartily recommend it."
Jane's pronouncement had Lizzy and Will staring, and Charles beaming at her. Jane beamed back – it hadn't taken long for their delight in each other quell any vexation at being startled so.
"Well, I think it's probably time for us to get home to bed." Jane said, before noticing the faces around her. "Me and Lizzy! I mean, it's time for me and Lizzy to get home to bed… oh for God's sake." Jane put her head in her hands, and Lizzy came to her rescue.
"She's right, we need to lock up and get home, so you boys better skedaddle."
As Charles grabbed his coat, Lizzy wasn't sure if she was relieved or reluctant at the idea. It turned out an evening with Darcy was a rollercoaster, and she couldn't decide if she wanted to jump the hell off or ride it harder. His closeness was screwing with her head; she couldn't help but be aware of him, of his movements, his smell, his laughter. Her mind settled on relief. She needed to sober up, pull her mind from the carnal cloud that hung about them both, and slow down before they hurtled into something stupid. Most of all, she needed to talk to Jane.
"Well it's been an absolute pleasure" Charles began, earning a raised eyebrow from the group. "Ahem, yes well, the whole night's been a pleasure, thank you both. Would you like us to escort you home?"
"Oh no, that's fine, thank you Charles."
Darcy insisted. "I'd really feel better if we saw you home. It is the middle of the night after all, it's hardly safe for two young women to-"
Lizzy cut him off in his tracks.
"Darcy, we've been doing this long before you came along. We'll be fine, we know how to defend ourselves should anything happen," Darcy looked skeptical, which thoroughly irked Lizzy, "and anyway, we have secret affairs to discuss, which require your absence."
"Well, we wouldn't want to be in your way then" Charles capitulated. "Come on Will, we better make tracks. Lizzy, despite your cruel and unusual tactics, it was lovely to finally meet you. And Jane…" he trailed off, unsure how to bid her a goodnight without further embarrassment.
Jane took it in hand by giving him a chaste kiss on his cheek and another on his lips.
"We'll organise something, next week perhaps?"
"Next week?" Charles' face clearly conveyed his opinion on a week's wait. "Yes… Unless you fancy a barbecue?"
"A barbecue?" Lizzy asked dubiously.
"Yes, a barbecue! I'm going to have a barbecue. In a couple of days… Err, Sunday in fact. You should come! You should both come. It'll only be a small gathering. Just my sisters, my brother in law and me-"
"And me." Darcy spoke up.
"And Will of course. It'll be great. Take advantage of the Indian summer we're having and all that."
"Well that sounds lovely, of course we'll be there." Jane answered for them both. Will caught the glance Elizabeth sent her older sister. "Would you like us to bring anything?"
"Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Whatever you like. Food would be good, I guess, I haven't really organized… anything yet. Desserts?"
Jane grinned. "I'm sure we'll be able to rustle up something. Well, Will, it was great to meet you. Happy belated birthday once again, I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"Thank you Jane, it was an-" he studied Elizabeth beside him, "unforgettable night."
"I'll see you Sunday" Jane finished, whisking Charles quickly out the lounge door for a more informal goodbye away from prying eyes.
As they disappeared, Lizzy looked up to see Darcy's dark eyes on her. His intense gaze made the little space between them seem far smaller, far more intimate.
"I had almost forgotten it was your birthday," she said softly, "Happy Birthday Mr. Darcy."
His eyebrow rose, "I thought we'd discussed this, Elizabeth."
"My apologies," she smiled. "Happy Birthday, Darcy."
She stood high on her tiptoes as her heels would allow, and pressed her lips against his stubbled cheek. His breath came out at once, warm against her skin, and the eyes that she encountered as she stepped back looked far more black than blue. Darcy cleared his throat before replying.
"Well thank you for my… gift. I rather look forward to unwrapping it one day."
And with a final pointed glance, he slipped out the door, and was gone.
"You go first."
"Why should I go first?"
"Because you're the one who got caught grinding a guest in the staff room."
The two guys seated in front turned their heads a little at Lizzy's declaration, and the sister's sniggered.
"Fine." Jane said quietly. "But your story started it."
"Oh please, I bet you two were just begging for an exit excuse..."
"Do you want to hear it or not?" Jane returned, in her older sister voice.
"Yes please!" Lizzy answered, snuggling her head onto Jane's shoulder, preparing for the bedtime bus story.
"Well we sat watching you two for a little bit. You guys really were going at it you know. It was like sexual tennis. We kept waiting to see if you'd call deuce and simply rip each others clothes off and go at it on the floor."
"Oh god…" Lizzy moaned, covering her eyes with her hand. In the neon lights of the night bus, what she had just done with Darcy seemed more mortifying than anything else, especially when they'd had an audience.
"Haha, save that for your turn. Anyway, we began discussing which of you we thought would break first. Charles began to say that he'd place all his money on Will." Lizzy lifted her head and scowled. "Well he said – what was it now? – 'Will is the most sought after man on the planet. I've never met a woman who didn't want him, or a man for that matter. And though his talents are usually used for defense, I would pity anyone who was under his attack. Your sister doesn't stand a chance.' Something like that."
"That bastard!" Lizzy yelled, causing more sleepy heads to turn in their direction. "Sorry" she mumbled to the rest of the passengers.
"Lizzy, he doesn't know you. And you have to admit… he was right wasn't he?"
"Excuse me?" Lizzy's face showed the hurt that Jane agreed with Charles.
"Don't look at me like that. He is right. Will Darcy IS the most sought after man on the planet. And you did fall right under his spell – but anyone could clearly see he was far more under yours."
Lizzy looked a little sheepish.
"I wouldn't say that exactly…"
Jane's manicured brows shot up.
"I'd say do go on, but I get the feeling I'd never finish my side, so hold that thought. Anyway, I came immediately to your defense, you'll be pleased to know, and told Charles that Will might think he's all that, but you always get your man." Jane chuckled "I told him we Bennets had methods."
Lizzy laughed at this.
"I thank you for your confidence in me! So… then what?"
Jane blushed prettily. "Well, Charles asked what methods these were, and I decided to give him a demonstration. So we slipped away and got… demonstrating."
"Jane Bennet! Bravo indeed!" Lizzy replied. "From where I was standing, the method clearly worked."
"Oh Lizzy" Jane chided. "I don't know that yet."
"Excuse me, where was his hand exactly?" Lizzy retorted, which didn't help Jane's blushing.
"Yes, but one heavy petting session does not a relationship make."
"Jane, he's already invited you to, from what I gather, a completely fictitious barbecue, all so he had a reason to see you sooner."
"He invited you too!"
"Yeah, as an after thought. Don't feel like you have to hide it, Jane. This is good. It's better than good. People a mile off could see how into you he is. Enjoy it."
"Oh all right," Jane capitulated, a smile blossoming on her face. "So what about you and the hottest man in modelling? I've got to say Lizzy, I know it sounds silly, but he's actually hotter in person."
"God don't I know it." Lizzy mumbled.
"I assumed that with all the airbrushing and photo-shopping that goes on he would be a little less perfect but… well, he's a bit astounding isn't he?"
Lizzy sighed. "That's one word for it. I could think of a hundred more right now, one of which would be 'inscrutable' and another 'frustrating'. He went from fazed to hot to kind to funny, then back to nigh on blazing. He's an utter mystery." Jane sat back ready to listen. "Well you saw how it started."
"How you started it, you mean?"
"Fine, how I started it." Lizzy chuckled. "And it sounds arrogant, I know, but I was so sure I had him. He looked so baffled after I gave him a good scolding-"
"Sorry," Jane asked, "did I miss something?"
Elizabeth had the decency to look shamefaced. "Okay so in the light of day – or night – it doesn't seem as good an idea as it did at the club, but I overheard him say something arrogant about cabaret and how we were all hideous and terrible, and I threw it back in his face a little…"
"Wait, wait, what did he actually say? Did he really use the words 'hideous' and 'terrible'?"
"Well, not in so many words… he said he'd seen too much shit cabaret, and we were inevitably hefty, mature women squashed into too small corsets."
Jane tried to stifle the laugh that bubbled up, but ended up giggling uncontrollably, causing Lizzy to crack a smile.
"That's hilarious though, Lizzy! Yes, it's an unfair thing to say, but you could have just showed him how wrong he was on stage!"
"Well I did! I just wanted him to know how wrong I knew he was, if that makes sense. So I whispered it in his ear…"
"…whilst straddling him?" Again, the men in front turned round, massive grins on their lips.
"Yes, whilst straddling him" Lizzy whispered. "Anyway, I thought he'd been sufficiently cowed to roll over and play nice. But then something, I don't know, switched on in his head or something, and he was suddenly this debonair and dashing devil of a man, suggesting all kinds of things I was more than willing to go alone with. I couldn't keep up."
Jane was dumbstruck at such an open admittance from her little sister. "You couldn't keep up?"
"I did at first…" she confessed. "We even quoted Shakespeare and I should have been far too pissed to do that. But that man has a seriously silver tongue. If I'm perfectly honest, I only came out of it with my head held high because he let me."
Jane was still gawping. "Are you telling me you lost the war to William Darcy?"
Lizzy frowned, reluctant to admit such a thing. "No, I lost one battle to him. You've got to admit I won the first!"
"Using the element of surprise you did, but afterwards, admit it – you lost control! I can't believe it." Jane squeaked.
"For god's sake Jane, I didn't lose cont-" Lizzy stopped, words stuck in her mouth, before turning on her sister with a wicked gleam. "Yes, Jane, you're right. I did lose control. I, Elizabeth Bennet, lost control. Do you know what this means?"
Jane looked puzzled. "That the world is in fact coming to an end?"
Lizzy shook her head, trying to hold back a smile. "This means, Miss Jane, that we are going to have to buy you a big, beautiful, new bow."
As it suddenly dawned on her what Lizzy was referring to, Jane stared at her sister's wide grin in horror. Her jest from earlier was downright unthinkable – but Jane had more wisdom to think that, just because Will Darcy had won a Lizzy battle of wills, she might have a hope in hell too.
The silence was so loaded with all that had passed that Will didn't even know where to start.
"So… a barbecue?"
"I know, I know, it was just the first thing that popped into my head." Charles admitted sheepishly.
"You know there's meant to be a storm on Sunday right? As in torrential run-for-cover apocalypse kind of rain."
"Obviously I didn't. But I'm sure it'll be fine. Worst comes to worst, we'll just take cover inside and grill everything. What could possibly go wrong?"
"One word: Caroline." Will ground out.
"Ha, that's your problem, not mine. I have no doubt she'll love Jane. Who wouldn't?"
Will stayed silent, and Charles saw the look on his face.
"I know that sound. That's the sound of William Darcy's judgmental cogs whirring. What about Jane could you possibly have a problem with?"
"Well…" Will paused for the right words. Any words in fact. "You guys seemed fairly hot and heavy on the sofa back there. Pretty fast moving for someone who's 'not your girlfriend'. I'm just wondering if seeing her again so soon is a good idea."
Charles rolled his eyes – a talk like this was inevitable with Will.
"Will, it's a barbecue, I'm not proposing. Jane is… well she's breathtaking. You've seen her. She's got sweet and sexy all wrapped up in one beautiful package. So yes, I like her a lot – like, a lot, a lot. But that's not always such a terrible thing you know. Plus you can hardly talk, what the hell was that back there? I almost offered you protection back at that table."
Will's face began to darken. "That has nothing to do with you."
"Oh I see, but my flirtations are yours for the evaluating?" Will said nothing, but knew Charles was right. "Stop being such an arse and just tell me about Lizzy."
Will sighed. He didn't know how to make sense of it himself, never mind explain it all calmly to Charles. The woman was such a mixture of quick wit, arch looks, submission and dominance, stunning face and almost criminal figure that he didn't know where to look or what to think. How in the world could he distil their tumultuous meeting into a simple sentence or two that his friend could even begin to understand?
"Charles," he finally murmured, as the black cab pulled up to his place, "I think I'm in trouble."
