Like a phoenix rising from its ashes, she dreamed and longed for this moment. But to Ella, it was her best friend, in need of healing. She wasn't certain why he was before her, like this. His words strangled as he tried to speak. Sounds of choking sobs rang true as he bled his heart for her.

It was pent up rage that had been building since his aunt's death. He hasn't dealt with it much, he pointedly showed. He surrendered his pain for a change and it felt amazing.

Don't want to close the door
Don't want to give up on it
Don't want to fight no more

Sometimes talking about things that bother you, really make the difference. The weight is lifted. You feel elated and free beyond the spectacle. She felt as if she was in his nightmare. Feeling what he was feeling. Watching as he's going through the false personas. His life through images like in a movie slideshow but he could only see it.

She pulled out of his embrace, still in his hold, to look him in his eyes. She was falling again. He can't help it. It's always too late, to her even being in his arms, manufactured a ridged loneliness she despised. She wanted him. Longing to have him know the mangled truth.

All of her life, she's been singing love songs and lullabies. Was she forever stuck in this impossible dream of unrequited love? Was there any love to speak of? She's done it before, she can do it again. She'll be his friend and nothing else.

We'll find a way around it
Where's the love we had?
We can make it last

She rubs his back, not knowing much and it stops there. Ella feels stuck. Beyond confused. What could she do? Shut off everything? Put away all forms of happiness. Though she couldn't ignore the vehement surge he gave off. But she didn't want to give up. She couldn't somewhere. Despite all that's been done. She needs him, he needs somebody. Someone he can count on. Someone he could talk to. But its too hard to be this close to someone you can't have.

She pulls away slightly and silently. She feel this strong urge to kiss his cheek but it was concealed rightfully.

Tell me what I gotta be
Tell me what you wanna do?
Cause I can't live my life
The way you want me to

She shivered on her bed, wondering what he was thinking. What could he be thinking? He just poured his heart out. What could be in his mind right now?

"Are you alright?" Ella straightened herself.

He nodded, scaring her a little as his eyes shot into her direction, "Yeah, I'm just gonna have to figure this one out myself. But I'm glad I could talk to you about anything. It's great to I have that in someone. To be perfectly honest, I can't really remember when Mel and I had a heart-to-heart. Anyway, do you have any plans for tonight?"

She racked her brain, "I don't know. I was thinking of doing something with Kyle, we were gonna go somewhere fun I guess. Why?"

You know we can't go on,
living like we do
Do I have to cry for you?

He appeared somewhat fidgety, like he had trouble getting the words out. Josh knew he didn't want to be alone tonight but than again he didn't want pry into her plans. He felt a child now, fumbling with the words.

But looking directly at the woman who was his girlfriend's sister, didn't make sense. He was beginning to see something else. He felt drawn, almost, more alive all of a sudden.

So tell me what it's for
If there's no winner in it
Nobody's keeping score

"Just thought maybe we could hang out you know. Just us. I completely get it if you wanna got out with that guy that just here, what's his name?"

She raised a tidy eyebrow, "Kyle?"

He nodded, "Yeah, that guy. So what do ya say?"

"Well, I-I guess. What do you want to do than?"

Something was missing and she wanted to grill him until she got it.

"You wanna go out to uh, eat first? I'm starved."

She shrugged as he stomach rumbled slightly. They both laughed at that. "Alright, so where you wanna go?"

They stood from Ella's desk and went out of the room silently. He went in front of her as he spoke, "Somewhere good, maybe Maria's. What do you think?"

Was there much of a choice? "Yeah, OK. I'll leave a note."

Ella sped towards the kitchen and grabbed a pad-magnet and pen off the fridge scribbling a note to her parents. She placed it back onto the fridge and took a breath, exhaling slowly.

"Hey, ready?" She jumped at his voice.

"Yeah."

She grabbed at her following him out the door. When he opened it, Ella wasn't so pleased to see who was there.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

Her mother just looked at her with those dark wiccan eyes that pierce. She was still scared of her, although Ella could never let her know it. But she was up to no good.

"Ella, that's no way to talk to your mother." Her eyes shifted to JC and they light up like a fire cracker. "Joshua? Hello. Are you here to see Melora? She told me to tell you she'll be back in 20 minutes. She wants you to call her."

Nora James basically pushed past her daughter and went upstairs to her room.

There was this odd, straining silence that Ella wanted to wish away quickly. It was painful. She wasn't even sure if she heard him breathing.

Ella knew what she had to do. There was always that factor. That one blip on the radar that tarnish her chances with anything. Her parents don't give a fuck. Mel never dreamed of caring like a sister should. It was now so translucent Josh, all along, wasn't going to come to her defense.

Before anyone moved she had taken control already.

"You don't wanna keep my sister waiting any longer. See you around." She turned past him and went straight next door to the one person who knew her, really knew her.

Let's start from the beginning
Can we make it last?
With the love we had

"He didn't even try to stop me or say, 'hey, you know, sorry about dinner.' 'How about I make it up to you?' Or even a 'see ya round.' You know? Sick of all the shit."

Kyle & Ella decided to take a swim but now they were in the Jacuzzi relaxing. They becoming really close. She was pretty much coming to him for everything. The Melora conflicts mostly. She loves it because he's doing the one thing most every human lacks daily; listen.

She splashed some water on her shoulders and closed her eyes. It was like a hydro-massage all throughout her body. It felt amazing and for once, she can be herself.

"Well, did you give him a chance to say anything or did you bolt? Tell me the truth." he started rubbing her feet under the water.

She rolled her eyes, groaning, "What does that matter? Point is, he didn't make any signs that was sorry for ruining my hopes again. Just when I think he could be a real live person, SHE gets in my way. But than again, he's a guy, but he's pretty pussy-whipped if ya ask me. Hey, stop that heh, seriously stop it." he started tickling her and wouldn't yield to her wishes.

He got closer for a better reach and held her waist down. "No. I found something that might make you laugh forever. Muah ha ha ha ha!"

"God Dammit! Just give it up. Ahah! I got ya now." It was his turn to be pinned down.

Apparently they were trapped, neither will forfeit but Ella was the smarter of two. She looked at him pointedly in her victory. She pushed him in his chest with her knee a little. She was in complete control now.

But there was something wrong. She didn't feel right. Thoughts of Joshua shouted into her brain. Beating away uncontrollably, like a thunderstorm coming out from nowhere.

This suddenly wasn't fun for her. She felt like a dummy, stilled and ready to crack any moment.

She began pushing him off roughly, "Sorry, I can't do this now."

Kyle shook his head, more than confused with the gesture. He watched as she moved to the corner of the tub and started rubbing her shoulders ravenously.

He made his move next to her. She was looking anywhere but at him. She heard his sigh and cringed. She messed it up for herself. It's not enough the world thinks she's spam but the one guy she thought thinks that too killed her insides.

"Sorry about the -- well, the, you know, moving like that. I didn't know you would be… I really don't know what I'm saying. But I'm sorry."

"If you say sorry anymore, you'll wear it out. I don't know. I'm just--weird now. I wanna be friends, but I don't understand how to be friends with a guy. I wasn't always this weird you know?"

"No?"

She nodded, "I was so straight-laced. I cared too much about impressing everyone I forgot about what was going on. Actually, when I think about it more, I dread those memories. I rarely think about it anymore."

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard

He tapped on her shoulder with his gently, "Sounds like you shouldn't bring it up."

She scoffed and sunk her hair into warm water. She wanted to stay down in the warm escape forever. Living would be easy if she didn't have to see it.

The human in her woke up and she surfaced smoothing out her hair back. She exhaled deeply. Delving in the silence she wished she had more of.

I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Ella wondered what Kyle was thinking. They are friends she knows that already. Just… she needs to know something.

She whipped her eyes connecting with his. "Do you wanna kiss me, Kyle?"

"So, Josh, what's going with all this? Do you want me to keep guessing or are you going to finally tell me?" Melora leaned on her hand, looking absentmindedly at Josh.

"Uh," he cleared his throat, "well, I took his here because I wanted to. Do I need a reason really?" He really wanted to just eat dinner.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

She shrugged, "No, I was just wondering. You've been kind of weird to me lately and now its almost as if you're acting like nothing happened. But as long as you're doing this, I'm very happy baby."

He nodded, "That's good. Where's the waiter?"

She lifted her eyebrow as he seemed a little preoccupied with searching for the waiter. She licked her lips in wonder, "Uh, Josh, are you OK?"

Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Took him 10 full seconds to reply back, he finally looked at her, "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm good. Just I'm hungry you know? Just, hello? Yes, we're ready…"

The waiter had come to the table. Pen and paper handy for the order. "Sorry sir, I had other costumer engagements at hand. Are you both ready to order? Can I start you with something to drink maybe? An appetizer perhaps?"

JC seemed to take over the speaking Melora had noticed. She didn't like it one bit. She planned on demanding why he was behaving this way after he finished their order.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes

She grew scared. What if this was over? All she had with him, just she's a nothing. What he doesn't want her anymore? She bites her nails to the quick on that thought. They've been together for so long, it means more now. Maybe its all in her mind. She hoped this wasn't bad news for her.

Its been a ride with him and she's going to keep it that way. She has to stay strong. Or god forbid she thought. What if Ella has something to do with this? Oh, she's gonna get it badly this time. When will that girl ever learn that Josh would never look at her sister that way.

Millions of reasons raced but the only way to find out the real reason was to beat it out of him. If anything else, Melora's the best at that.

I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

The waiter had finally gone and Josh was acting more than ridiculous now. He was looking anywhere but at her and she was beyond abhorring the situation any longer.

"Josh, what the hell is going on here? Are you sleeping with my sister?"

The honest reaction takes the cake. Which was what mother always told her.

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me

This stopped in dead in his tracks. Which apparently, wasn't entirely untrue or true for that matter. Melora has figured him out; to a certain extent. He wasn't nor will he ever think of sleeping with Ella James, Melora's little sister. The idea of it all seemed outland and misconstrued. But having brought it up made his brain open up a little.

Josh hasn't literally slept with Ella, that being the god's honest of things truth. Still… the subconscious is a beautiful thing. Except when it perplexes issues furthermore.

For the last few nights, he's been contracting the dreams. The dreams are something inexplicable. They started in the early stages of meeting Melora. The day after he met with her sister. She was waiting for her bus at work. He couldn't help but stare. Just curious enough to make him find out a little more than just a name and a face.

You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

The dreams were the one and only thing he would never reveal to anyone, even his family. They were the little secrets his mind would secrete in the times of repose. He wondered what he was doing now? Why he was putting himself through this… When it was so clear in the beginning why.

Ella.

She was a creature. A person even he could never understand. It bothered and intrigued him. She was interesting. Ella had this romance about her. This certain flare he gravitated toward. Yet he didn't want to stay so close. It was inevitable. Josh knew he would be with Melora. It worked well. He could stay just close enough to Ella without ruining anything.

Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in

Well, what if she didn't know about his feelings? Would he be prepared to handle any of the outcome? He doesn't know. It drove him crazy. It was so certain how obvious the answer was this whole time. It's already been too long he's held this in. Agonizes options he was stuck. Stuck in this world of nothing and nowhere. Frozen in this parallel outer world he can't revive from. There was no surviving this.

Something has to happen. Than he realized it. How he knew all along. He was in some kind of pause but it wasn't what he thought.

Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you

He looked her dead in the eye and said calmly but as assertive as he can manage, "I have to go."

I am afraid
Because of you