I lay on the bed with Bella by my side talking about our new life together alone somewhere dark and overcast. We were discussing places we could go, talking about the house we wanted, the kind with a porch that wraps around the front, white walls and pretty blue shutters. Bella wanted some things to remind us of Charlie and Renee, I wanted the décor to be like our house in Forks, pale on pale colour wise.
It was all so perfect with Bella in my arms. She reached up and kissed me gently, hesitant until I kissed her back, once she felt my lips hard against hers she ran her hands through my hair pulling me closer, wrapping her legs around my waist, she kissed me with so much raw emotion. I knew what she wanted and where we were heading; I gently pulled my lips away and smiled "Ah my Bella, I love you". The silence that followed was what brought me back to my miserable reality; I was still alone on my bed, alone for days with only my visions of her to keep me company. Daydreams that seemed so real I could still feel her warmth, daydreams that mock me, torture me, that make me realize the stark contrast between us, between our worlds. Hers warm and beautiful, mine dark and cold.
What is Bella thinking now? What's Bella doing now? These thoughts tortured every moment
not spent imagining her with me. I really hoped Charlie had made her snap out of her sadness
and she was back enjoying life as it was before I tainted it. I looked down at my phone to check the date and time, I noticed the sun trying to peek through my curtains so earlier I had put a blanket over them since they didn't quite meet, not to mention the nosey receptionist that tried peeking through.
Of course my phone was dead so I put it on charge and wandered into the bathroom. I wiped my face and ran my hand through my hair, I looked awful, I was glad Bella nor my family could see me now. I could hear my phone beeping and I knew it would be Alice, two hundred texts and one hundred voicemails.
"Edward, its Carlisle, I hope you're well. Alice told me you hadn't responded to her voicemails or texts. Please come back, son. Or let us know you're okay. I miss you, we all do, even Rosalie, I know you may find it hard to believe but she does. Esme just isn't the same she feels like she lost her child all over again, please Edward, make contact. Take care."
"Edward! Edward Cullen, don't do this to me, I beg you please come home! Please my son,
please! Bella would love to see you I know she would, you two are meant to be together.
Holing yourself up in some hotel room like this isn't helping anybody. Yes we know where you are but wouldn't dream of intruding unless you don't respond, love you alway." Esme's voice sounded desperate. I couldn't listen to the rest, I deleted them and phoned
Carlisle.
"Edward, thank god you're okay!"
"I'm alive, Carlisle. I wouldn't say I'm okay but I'm surviving as best I can."
"Son, why don't you come back to us? We could help you through this."
"I understand your concern but honestly, I'm better off alone and I'm moving on tomorrow, I have an idea."
"Okay son, let us know when you arrive please."
"Take care."
"Take care."
Don't panic and run off, we need to speak to you.
I had been lying on the bed thinking of my Bella when Alice's thoughts invaded my head. At that very moment I noticed the room for the first time since I'd been here, dark walls, dark carpet and light curtains. I quickly threw my bed back together, left a few bills on the table and headed to reception to hand my keys in and pay the bill.
Oh wow I wonder if he's coming to ask me out. He looks amazing! That body, that hair, that
smell. Oh god, his face! He looks like he hasn't slept much though... "Mr Cullen, what
can I do for you?"
"The bill." I said as I handed her the keys. I could hear Alice's voice getting closer, I didn't have time for her flirting.
"All paid up."
I put the bill on the desk and walked rather fast to my car, jumped in and sped off. I was around the corner when I heard Alice thinking she was too late, she knew I had gone. She was angry and rightly so but as much as I love my family, and I do love them, I
just can't face them right now.
