"I've got to tell you. This is not at all how I envisioned the beginning of my next visit to your place." Not even a shadow of a smile. "Is everything ok?" He knew it wasn't. He could see she had been crying, and she wasn't trying to hide it. This did not bode well for the success he making of their relationship. They have only been calling it a relationship for less than a week, and she was already in tears.

"Sure. Why wouldn't it be?" She finally tried a smile, but it came out watery at best. She knew she wouldn't slam the door in his face like she wanted, but a good temper tantrum is what she felt like. She felt like screaming at him until he understood why his ex-wife was such a source of tension between them.

"You don't mind that I am here?" He raised an eyebrow, letting her know he wasn't buying it.

"Why would I mind?" She stared back at him, daring him to challenge her, keeping her face purposely unrevealing, emotionless. "We had a date, right?" They shared a long uncomfortable silence, in which he detected that every last wall was put back in place. His heart went out to her.

They had agree, in LA, to keep things casual, and start slowly. They had a lot to learn about each other, and, although she wouldn't admit it out loud, she still had reservations about them long term. He knew this. He also knew that if he could be patient, he could win her trust over completely. They were making progress. They had been sharing more, and she wasn't nearly as guarded. She was happy. He felt it, and the looks, simple touches, and gestures left him breathless sometimes.

"That's what I can't figure out."

She was distant, and her need to protect herself from him scared him, more than he wanted to think about. He came to her to clarify things, to get some things off his chest, but doubt was starting to creep in. Was she really upset by the overheard conversation, or was she having doubts about the direction they were heading? The pace of their relationship progression suddenly did not seem like such a good plan.

"Maybe I can come in? We can clear the air?"

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, regretting her impulsive move to answer the door, and show him how pissed off she was. Her confusion, combined with his concern and sincerity was not helping to keep the tears at bay. "The air is fine."

"Really?" He pointedly looked into her puffy eyes and at her red nose, almost mentioning how cute it was that she was holding a tissue, but stubbornly refusing to use it in front of him. He thought better of voicing his observation, and instead took the tissue from her, dabbing at a lone tear that had escaped, leaving a watery path. "Are you sure about that?" He held the tissue to her nose. "Blow."

She swatted his hand away, but was rewarded with the smile he was hoping for, which quickly faded into a sigh. "What do you want, Castle?" His heart sunk when he realized that she had easily slipped back to addressing him in her more formal manner. It had become her pattern that he was Rick when they were alone, and Castle at the precinct.

"So we are going to do this in your doorway?"

"Do what?" She saw the determined look in his eyes, making her want to close the door before he had a chance to open his mouth, and change everything back to the way it was. Before LA. Before she admitted to herself that the feelings she had been trying to rename and rearrange and make so complicated were really very simple. She loved him. Maybe she was even in love with him.

She felt that painful squeeze in her chest again, and would have closed the door, and hid on the other side, if there weren't a very small part of her that was prepared for the worst, and needed to hear the truth. There was a larger part that trusted him, and held out hope, and wanted to put an end to the confusing dance they had been performing, and move their relationship forward.

"Ok." He sighed, and stole a glance, and a calming breath, before he plunged forward. "When I brought you those flowers this morning, the thing I worried about most was getting my ass kicked for, you know, mixing business and pleasure. It has been alluded to, by a source that shall remain nameless, that you may have overheard a phone conversation that upset you."

Their eye contact disappeared, and she stared at a place on the wall behind him, feeling less confident, and less prepared, now that the words were spoken. "You didn't confront me. You didn't ask me what the hell I was doing on the phone with Gina. You heard one end of a conversation, and you ran. Whether what you think you heard is true, or if it is a gross misunderstanding, I am wondering, why didn't you come talk to me about it? "

He reached around her, and opened the door wider, stepping around her, and letting himself in. He waited for her to move, and when she eventually did, he shut the door behind her.

She leaned back against the door. "My answer to that question depends on which it was, truth or gross misunderstanding."

"If you are going to be honest with me, it shouldn't matter. I was hoping that after thinking about it, you would have already realized it was the latter, that there may have been something else going on that you didn't think about."

She looked at him confused, and he clarified. "I was hoping you would have realized it was a gross misunderstanding."

"It does. It matters. Even if it was a misunderstanding, and I overreacted, stuff like this, it makes it hard, to do what we are trying to do. "

"You mean to do what you are trying to do. . . to convince yourself that I can be trusted. I have accepted that, and I have accepted all the waiting, because I get it, and I don't blame you for being cautious." He leaned forward, taking her face in his hands. "I've accepted it, but I don't like it. I can't say that it doesn't sting just a little to have to pass some kind of test, when I have never done anything, nor would I ever do anything, to hurt you."

"Is that what this has felt like to you? A test? I honestly never looked at it that way. I trusted you, even when my head told me it was maybe not a good idea."

"Should it make me nervous that you are using the past tense?"

"I don't want you to think you have to continuously prove something to me." She felt like crying again, and cursed herself for being so emotional. "I'm sorry I am so bad at this."

He took her hand, and peeled her off her front door, pulling her toward her kitchen. He gestured toward a bar stool at her counter, and he walked around to her kitchen, searching for, and finding, a bottle of wine and some glasses. "You're not bad at this. It's just going to take some time for both of us to work out the kinks." He smiled at her, as he pushed a glass of red wine across the counter to her. He took a sizable swallow out of his glass before he went on. "Gina and Alexis are going away for the weekend for a 'Careers in Publishing' seminar. They made all the arrangements when we were . . . a while ago. I was just finalizing some of their plans. That's all."

"I'm sorry that I jumped to the wrong conclusion. It wasn't fair." Her eyes locked with his, and all he wanted to do was hold her. "You have always been there for me, whether it is the little things, like just being their with a joke when I need a laugh, or a cup of coffee when I need a break, or the really big ones that I can't imagine having made it through without you to lean on. Those things mean so much to me."

He didn't see the apology coming, but it felt like a weight was lifted from him. "But your head still tells you not to count on my sticking around. What does your heart tell you?"

She knew she could keep putting him off forever, and she would never get the guarantees she wanted. The hardest questions had yet to be answered, but they would have to figure out the answers together. She held her glass by the stem, and drew circles on the countertop with the base, staring down into the red liquid. She kept her eyes diverted into her glass, and spoke softly. "It is telling me that it is a very real possibility that I am falling in love with you."

He was shocked at first. He never imagined that she would be the first to say those words. It was so surprising, and so completely not her style. A grin appeared, and he felt it spread across his entire face. He put his hand over the top of her wine glass, and tilted his head to look into her downcast eyes. "I think I can live with that answer." She released her glass, and he set it aside. She took a deep breath, and faced him. He had to smile again at the absolute terror showing in her eyes. "Just try to pay less attention to what your head is telling you. In this one rare instance, it is wrong. I know what I have to lose. I know that I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have built over the past few years. A while ago, I don't think even I would have trusted myself with the responsibility of that, so I can understand your hesitation. But something changed. Something happened, and it has not been the same since."

"What happened?"

He smiled at her warmly. "You kissed me. That's when I knew I had a chance."

"No. You kissed me."

"I may have kissed you first, but you liked it enough to kiss me second."

"It wasn't a real kiss. . ."

"You can keep telling yourself that, but I've never had one that was more real."

"If we didn't need a diversion, it never would have happened."

"Circumstances aside, it happened, for real."

"It was pretty nice." She tilted her head, and smiled at him, a genuine smile that gave him an incentive to go on.

"It was more than pretty nice. A lot more."

"Yeah. That's a pretty fair assessment." One of her eyebrows raised, letting him know she was teasing.

He slid off his stool, and suddenly reached out and touched her, making her jump a little. He pushed her hair back, and held her face in his hands, looking directly in her eyes. "I feel like you bring out the best in me. You make me a better man. Those are strange feelings to have for someone who has always been just out of reach. I've learned first hand that I would risk my own life to keep you safe, but I have never risked sharing anything intimate with you. I like who I am when I am with you, and I want you to know that person too."

"I do. Now that I am looking, I see that person all the time, not just when you are with me. I have always believed that the way you are with your family . . . that is the real you."

He tugged her up so she was standing in front of him, making it easier to read her expressions face to face. "Promise me you will talk to me if something like this ever happens again. Promise me you will give me the benefit of the doubt. Don't just give up on me."

He felt her start to lean into him, and before she could take a step, he closed the distance and pulled her into his arms. He was surprised to feel her cling to him, and bury her face in his shoulder. He just held her for a moment while neither of them said anything. "It hurt, thinking of watching you choose Gina again."

Her warm breath seeping through his shirt and touching his skin was oddly distracting. It made him suddenly aware of how many places their bodies were making contact. It took a minute for the meaning of her words to sink in.

He leaned back, creating a little distance. "What do you mean 'again'? I have never willingly chosen Gina over you. The first time I was with Gina, I didn't even know you. The second time you were already in a relationship."

She lifted her head from his shoulder, but deliberately avoided his eyes, knowing that he could easily make her admit things when he was holding her this close.

He raised an eyebrow. "Wait a minute. What? You're not telling me something."

She sighed again, before she looked up at him. "In the interest of full disclosure, there is probably something I should tell you."