Hey there all! Thanks to my readers. The whole chapter! Lots of interesting developments. Hope you enjoy it. Been super busy with work, school, friends, and planning for a con! YAY. So here it is. Let me know what you think. I really wrote this as a personal observation on my own actions in the past and I hope you all enjoy where I am taking this. It is quite the work of art. :) Please review!


After a long night of thought, and little sleep, I was ready to face the next day. I couldn't fall asleep last night at all. I lay there for three hours just mulling over what had happened that day that lead up to that encounter. There had to be a connection, something I had missed. I was so frustrated with myself by the three hour mark that I finally cried myself to sleep. It was impossible to express how heartbroken and sick I felt over this entire situation. It was almost impossible to be happy that next morning when I was summoned for breakfast.

Father had approved my date that night with Sasuke but I had a strange feeling that he was in a particularly happy mood that morning. He was never like that. I couldn't understand it. I ate quickly before deciding what I needed today was some time with my sister. She was young, and didn't understand fully what I was going through but I feared if I didn't talk to someone I'd go insane. That feeling inside my head, the thoughts bouncing around, was so disorienting. I couldn't find happiness even in the fondest memories I held.

I ran into Hanabi in the garden, sitting on the patio and I sat down next to her.

"Good morning Hinata," she said with a smile. "You don't look good. Are you feeling ill?"

"No, not really," I responded, biting my lip. "I… can I talk to you? Sister to sister?"

Hanabi smiled immediately, scooting closer to me. "Of course," she assured, placing a hand on my arm. "What is it?"

"I feel miserable," I said with a sigh. "I love Naruto, I told him that day when I risked my own life to save him and so far he's said nothing about it. It's been almost two years and nothing has changed. He talked to me last night about something and I lost it. I abandoned my friends and came straight home to cry and think. I feel so horrible Hanabi, so much so that I wonder what the point of any of this matchmaking stuff is."

I bit back a sob, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I feel crushed from the inside; like my heart was removed and placed somewhere I could never touch it. There is no way to heal it or bring myself back to that happiness and hopefulness I felt all those years ago. I want more than anything to confront him about it but I know that will only make it worse because I know his first reaction is going to be confusion and rejection. I know he doesn't feel the same about me and the more I think about it the more I resent him for thinking I am not good enough."

My tears were falling freely down my face and I could feel that familiar tightness in my head whenever I cried. It was horrible, constricting, and made me want to rip my hair out in frustration. Hanabi immediately took my hand in hers, squeezing it gently. She was watching me the whole time, her eyes following me as I sobbed openly. She let me cry, pulling me to her so that my face was nestled against her soft silken shoulder.

"Hinata," she whispered, running her hand over my hair. "I wish I could take away all that pain. I wish I could force Naruto to be yours, to love you like you do him, but I can't. I can't even pretend to understand your heartache. I just…" she was lost for words. She just held me close, allowing me to sob into her shoulder. After a few more minutes she pulled back, looking me in the face.

"Hinata, you are heartbroken, confused, angry, but more than anything you are a caring loving person," she assured. "If Naruto can't see that then he doesn't deserve you. You will find someone that will make you forget all about Naruto, someone who will love you for you. I promise that, even if I have to go out and find them for you myself!"

I let out a soft sob, wiping my cheeks dry before taking a few deep breaths. I needed to compose myself. I needed to remain the ninja I was trained to be. All of this emotion sharing, this sadness made me look weak and I wouldn't be weak, especially in front of my family.

"I just… I don't know how much longer I can stay here, in this house, this village, this world…" I murmured the last part. "This life seems so hollow, unhappy, and completely fake. It is like the infinite tsukiyomi actually worked and my reality is the denial of his love. I can never reach him again, never feel the warmth of his embrace or his aura. He's so warm and amazing and I'm cut off, completely restricted, unable to ever enjoy it again when almost everyone else gets to."

"Hinata, please don't think like that," Hanabi whispered. "It is your first heartbreak, you probably feel worthless and unloved but you have to understand; there is more to this world than Naruto. More than his love."

I sniffed, squeezing Hanabi's hand. She was always so much wiser than I. She got mothers kind heart and fathers stony resolve. "You think that but right now I can't see it."

"Of course not! You are sad, like in a hole. You are all the way at the bottom and can't see the light at the top. But it is there… if nothing else, please trust me, Hinata," she said, wrapping her arms around me. "I'll do all I can to help your heart recover so please don't turn your back on me or our family. We all care for you immensely."

I couldn't help but pull her closer, hold her against me like the little sister she really was. She'd matured so much and here I was, sobbing on her shoulder and confessing my problems like some sort of therapist or priest. "Thank you, Hanabi," I whispered. I was truly grateful for her love, her help, but more importantly it was like her words renewed me. I knew what I had to do. She smiled at me and told me she had to meet father in a little while for a meeting. She said she'd be back to talk more to me and that I should just relax and forget the sadness until she was back.

I nodded, allowing her to leave before thinking hard about what I could do. I knew I'd never stop loving Naruto. It would probably be there until the day I die; I knew my feelings for him would never change. He was everything to me and the fact that he didn't recognize it didn't diminish its flame. If anything it burned brighter, hungrier for his love and acceptance. I wanted him to acknowledge me. The hopelessness that had taken over my heart was crushing and the only way I could escape it was to escape Konoha. I hadn't considered it before but Kiba said it himself. I had to live with this decision and if I had to live alongside my comrades in Konoha the rest of my life I'd always regret it.

I'd regret never getting the chance to love Naruto, to earn his love, and I'd regret marrying whoever it is that won this insane bidding war. Kiba loved me but I had to face the fact that I didn't love him. That I couldn't love him like I loved Naruto. And Sasuke, oh Sasuke was so cold and unattached he'd make me feel even more lost and alone than before. Though I didn't want to hurt anyone else's feelings, I had to get out of this. I had to run away.

If I got away I wouldn't be exposed to all these old memories, these hopes and dreams I clung to like a fly on a wall. I'd never see Naruto again, I wouldn't have to hear about his exploits from friends, and I wouldn't be forced to marry anyone. I could make the choice myself and hopefully fall for someone who genuinely loved me back. It was a wild idea, something that wouldn't go over well with the clan or village but if I didn't get out soon I'd never get out.

This sadness wasn't worth my soul. It wasn't worth me turning into a bitter old woman who had nothing but an arranged marriage and regret. I was a formidable kunoichi. I could easily escape Konoha's grasp but I knew that once I did they would send out a search party and most likely it'd be someone I knew, someone I'd have to battle for freedom. My mind was made up. It was time to make plans and the sooner the better. I quickly stood up and went to my room. I'd have to put on my shinobi armor, grab some weapons and supplies, and get out of here before anyone knew any better.

Father and Hanabi thought I had a date tonight with Sasuke, and I did but that would serve to keep them distracted long enough for me to get a safe distance away from Konoha. There was a problem though; I didn't know where I'd run to. I couldn't run to a neighboring village, nor could I run to a shinobi village. I had to be smart, choose somewhere Konoha couldn't easily search. Then it hit me, like a brick. I had two other proposals for marriage, one of them being a request from the Fire Daimyo's own family. If I could get to the capitol, to talk to the Fire Daimyo and his suitor I might have a chance of staying away from Konoha for a legit reason and keep my father off my back.

I quickly packed some things, grabbed a formal kimono from the boxes on the shelf in my closet, and the last thing I packed was a picture of my mother. It was taken when I was first born. She was holding me lovingly, staring down at my smiling face. I stared at the picture a moment before packing it into my bag. I was about to turn and leave when there was a knock on my door.

"Hinata," came Hanabi's voice. "Are you okay? Would you like to talk more, maybe have lunch together?"

"Oh, no I'm fine," I said through the door. "I actually have plans to go find a cute outfit tonight with Ino. I forgot I had to meet her in town. I hope you don't mind, Hanabi-chan."

"Oh, no it's okay. I understand," she said through the door. "I'll go train for a while. See you tonight! Good luck…" there was a pause and then I heard her say something through the door. "I hope you can have fun, Hinata."

I waited for her to walk away before I left my room. Pack on my back and gear stowed away. I had all I needed except for a few daily rations. As I left the compound I felt a deep sense of regret. I may never be back here again as a Hyuuga. It saddened me to walk away from everything, everything Neji fought and gave his life for. But I couldn't stay any longer. I bit back my regret and my fear as I shopped for supplies. A few days ration, some new kunai, and a new set of senbon. It was dangerous for me to go out alone but I didn't care. At this point making it to the capitol was my only option. I quickly purchased the supplies with the money I had from my missions, which wasn't a small amount, and left the shop.

The whole time I was walking through the village I couldn't help but think of my past and all the good times I had here. It was nostalgic but then a deeper sense of regret fell over me. I had promised to meet up with Sasuke tonight in town and go out on a date. He'd come looking for me at the compound when I didn't show up. So this had to be fast. I planned on putting a good distance between myself and the village before he realized. I felt bad for Sasuke and when I felt the urge to stay I stifled it, moving faster. I had to get out of this village.

When I approached the front gate only two shinobi were standing guard. They smiled and waved at me and I did the same, making this trip seem legit. Then one of the shinobi waved and came over.

"Hey Hinata-sama," he said. "Where are you headed? You're not on our roster for enlisted shinobi allowed to leave the village today.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make your job difficult," I said, smiling softly. "I'm just going out to train in the woods for a bit until later tonight. I have plans in the village but I figured I'd get my workout when I can."

"That's a lot of gear for a workout," he said, smiling down at me.

"Yeah, I got a new set of kunai and senbon so I wanted to test them out," I said.

"That's understandable but…"

"Oh just let her train," the other shinobi said, coming over to us. "It's Hinata for kame-sakes."

"Thank you," I said with a smile. "I won't be out long. You'll probably see me come back in an hour or two."

"Very well," the first shinobi said. "See you in a bit Hinata-sama."

I just nodded with a smile and kept walking. I needed to get far enough away from the gates to actually travel in the direction I wanted to go. The capitol wasn't too far from Konoha but it was still a good day's journey. I made sure I was far enough away from the village gate before I started running, jumping through tree branches and moving at a steady pace. If I was lucky I wouldn't run into any patrol. I activated my byakugan to take a look and to my relief the patrol was to the west of me, moving further away. I kept an eye out for an hour, moving quickly toward the capitol. If I was lucky I'd make it there in a few more hours and be ready to introduce myself to the Daimyo and his suitor.

It was a long trip because I was always on alert, always watching and waiting for someone to pop up and try to stop me. I was stuck inside my head, thinking of ways to tell the Fire Daimyo that I was interested but I needed time to make my decision. I needed sanctuary as well. Maybe if I was up front with him, honest, he'd understand and offer for me to stay in his home. Some of our finest kinsman were part of his personal guard. I couldn't imagine him saying no.

I knew word would get back to Konoha that I was here but I didn't care. They could come looking for me but under the protection of the Daimyo I would find peace of mind. Getting out, getting away from old memories, friends, and regrets would serve me some sort of good. I could clear my mind and make the decision I needed to make. Of course my mind went back to Naruto. Would he be sad I left? Would he even notice? Maybe he will be the one to come after me? Maybe I was too hopeful and no one would come after me, they'd just let me deal with things my way because they trust me. I didn't know.

All I did know was that I was free of Konoha, free of duty if only for a short time, and free to just breathe and think about what my life was really about. I needed this.

The sun was starting to set when I finally could see the city on the horizon. It was a bit larger than Konoha and had bright lights and tall buildings obstructing the sky and sun, lingering shadows casted over the nearby hillsides. I approached the main road into the city, the centuries placed outside the main gates. It was larger than Konoha as well. Huge gold and marble gates flanking the entrance. I quickly made my way to one of the century posts, bowing humbly to the guard.

"Hello, I'm here to speak to The Fire Daimyo," I said with a slight smile. "He is not expecting me however I am sure he will be more than willing to grant a meeting with me. My name is Hinata Hyuuga."

The guard looked at me for a moment, his light colored hair falling over his face. He had bright green eyes, his flecked blonde and brown hair over his eyes. "Hyuuga?" he asked, tilting his head slightly. "The Konohagakura Hyuuga?"

"That is correct, I'm Lord Hiashi's first born Hinata," I said, looking him over. He seemed uncertain and I sighed, pulling out the seal each Hyuuga is granted when becoming an adult. It was a small bracelet with a gold medallion, the Hyuuga crest embedded into it. It always stayed attached to my headband. He looked it over before telling me to wait while he conferred with his superiors. I nodded and moved to the side, out of the busy streets. They weren't checking everyone but their movements and the way they watched made me suspect that a fair number of them were Hyuuga themselves.

After waiting for about ten minutes he came back over to me, bowing humbly, a larger man following right behind him. They both bowed and began apologizing. This made me uncomfortable. I just wanted to get inside.

"I am so sorry Hyuuga-sama," said the larger man, looking over at the guard. "The Fire Daimyo isn't expecting you but I have phoned his secretary and she has assured me that you are most welcome. In fact, she'd like you to retire to the Daimyo's estates at the capitol palace to rest until your meeting. The Daimyo would like to have a late night dinner as he fears for your health on this journey here today."

"Thank you sir, please lead the way. I'm quite tired from my journey and would like to make myself proper," I assured, moving to his side. He offered me his arm and we walked through the gates towards one of the palanquins offered to us. We both stepped inside and were off toward the palace at a good pace. I looked over at him and smiled, bowing slightly. "I thank you for your hospitality sir."

"It isn't me my lady," he assured. "The Daimyo wasn't expecting you but he is absolutely thrilled that you are here, at least that is what his secretary assures."

"He is too kind," I commented with a slight laugh.

"But I must say," the man said slowly. "This is most uncommon. Even for the daughter of a dignified lord and shinobi clan leader. An announcement would have been most proper."

"I understand that sir, and I am so sorry for the unexpected visit, as well as the informality of it but my situation is quite urgent," I assured. "I didn't even expect to see the Daimyo for a while so the fact that he is eager to dine with me makes me feel entirely guilty."

"You're very humble, and honest," he said with a smile. "It is quite alright. The Daimyo, like I said, is pleased by your arrival."

"I am relieved," I said with a smile.

It was only a few more minutes later that we stopped, the man stepping out and offering me his arm. I took it and he lead me through a set of gates and into a grand court yard. The white marble and multicolored river rock lining the zen garden reflected the fading sunlight. It was beautiful. The palace was large, its white walls and high sloping roof and designs reflecting the sunlight's orange tint. It was beautiful. We went up a set of stairs before coming to the entrance to the main reception chamber.

As we approached the doors leading to where my residence was, the man quickly turned and bowed. I caught his glance and immediately followed.

"Ah! Hinata Hyuuga!" said the mans voice. It was definitely the Daimyo. He seemed all too pleased. "Please, please, there is no need. I was about to be escorted back to my rooms so I may change for our late night dinner."

"Daimyo," I said bowing lower. "I am so sorry for this intrusion and I hope you can forgive my boldness."

"Nonsense! The firstborn daughter of Hiashi Hyuuga, leader of the feared Hyuuga clan of Konohagakure wants an audience, I am happy to comply." I saw him grin, moving his fan in front of his face with a devious look in his eyes. "I am the Daimyo, after all. And any potential in-law is most welcome. You can regail me with your story and your reasoning for being here over dinner. Right now we must retire to dress the occasion." With that he waved his hand and he was gone, through the doors in front of us. I stood there a moment quietly before the bigger man that escorted me in showed me the way to my own chambers. It was down the hall and into a separate chamber, adjoining the main chambers.

It was a plush room with comfortable essentials and extras. "You will be summoned shortly, within the next hour, to dine with the Daimyo. I hope everything goes well Hinata-sama." And with that he was gone, leaving me to my own devices.

I had to dress quickly. This kimono was going to take a while to put on and I had to clean up at least. After a quick shower and primping my hair, outfit, and makeup, I was ready. I sat there, staring at myself in the mirror for a moment just contemplating over the days actions. I'd gone off the deep end. I'd never thought about the consequences of this rash action until now.

I'd abandoned my village, my clan, my family… all my friends and loved ones left behind. I only had one hope and that was the Daimyo. He had to offer me shelter, safety… anything. It made my throat dry just thinking about it. I was so lost in those thoughts that I barely noticed the knock on my door.

"Hyuuga-sama are you descent?"

"Yes!" I called, standing up. My kimono was white with golden flowers and light green and yellow leaves. It was a fine kimono, one of the best I had. My hair was tied up on my head, tightly bound with small curls falling over my temples. The servant entered and bowed before offering for me to follow him to the dining hall.

I did so enthusiastically. I had to speak to the Daimyo.

After the formalities of introductions I realized that it was more than just the Daimyo dining. There was also a man a bit older than I, probably the same age as Kakashi sensei, if not a bit younger. He stood and bowed to me and I realized that he was my potential suitor Kouta Shijimi. He was a handsome man. Light brown hair that fell to his shoulders, his eyes a deep green. I bit my lip and bowed back, unable to speak. When the servants were gone, after delivering drinks and a light snack the Daimyo started in.

"So, Hyuuga-sama," he began, waving his fan. "You showed up, unexpected, at my door not even a couple weeks after our proposal for marriage. Does this mean you accept?"

"Daimyo-sama," I said with a soft voice. "Please, let me explain myself." I paused and he nodded. "I will not lie to you. I left home. It is true that Shijimi-sama's proposal was presented to me but there were also three other suitors. I told my father, Lord Hiashi, that I would like to make the decision on my own. He gave me time to think and I still have time but he and my clan were unaware that I left Konohagakure."

The Daimyo studied me a minute before laughing. "Hyuuga-sama, you're very straight forward. I appreciate your honesty but I am unsure what you mean by you left home."

"I mean, I could not make the decision surrounded by my clan and others that I have personal attachment to," I admitted. "I would like to give fair judgment but I could not in Konohagakure. This is why I sought to speak to you. I was hoping, if it wasn't too presumptuous, that you would be so kind as to allow me to stay here, for duration of time, to make my decision."

He sat there a moment mulling it over, looking over at Kouta before to me. It was Kouta who spoke. "For such a lovely woman, and kunoichi, to be so rattled by such a decision means you are a fair and honest judge." He looked over at the Daimyo. "Uncle, I'd like for you to consider her request."

"I'd be more than willing to pay for my lodging," I said looking between them. The Daimyo just smiled.

"It seems we are in some trouble, Hyuuga Hinata," he admitted. "I am Daiymo, and can offer you sanctuary during the time allotted, however dealing with Konoha, it's Hokage, and your father may be difficult."

I bowed my head, nodding. "I understand," I whispered.

"However," he said, waving his fan and taking a sip of his tea. "I believe that my nephew deserves fair consideration." He then smiled. "I would be most honored if you would stay here, with us in the palace, until you have made your decision. No matter the decision I'd be more than pleased to have you under my roof. Such a formidable kunoichi, with your record and past, would make an amazing addition to my guard. Would that placate your need to pay for your room and board?"

"I'd be most honored," I said bowing with a smile. "Anything the Daimyo asks."

"Wonderful, I'll send a letter to Konoha on your behalf to excuse your disappearance. I'll be most willing to show it to you before I send it."

"Thank you, Daimyo… you are most generous and kind."

Dinner was actually enjoyable. Not the same old conversation about shinobi, missions, the village, or the weather. It was comical, exciting, and thought provoking. It was only when we were done conversing about the latest trend in music that the Fire Daimyo excused himself. "I'll be right back with the letter." He then disappeared.

Kouta smiled over at me and I could help but smile back. He was kind and completely relaxed, almost so much so that I felt comfortable calling him Kouta-san.

"So tell me, Hinata-chan," he began. "Was village life really that stressful that you had to run to the big city?"

I just grinned. "Unfortunately, I felt very pressured and uncomfortable. Plus, I felt like there was something devious going on so I had to free myself from it."

"Understandable," he admitted. "So, how long will your stay with us be?"

"I was hoping to get my mind together within the month, if it was suitable to you and your uncle."

"Absolutely, it'll be a real pleasure having a beautiful kunoichi in our midst," he admitted with a slight grin.

"You are too kind, Kouta-san."

"On the contrary, I understand the pressure your under. I've been pressured since I came of age to choose a bride. It was my uncle that helped me choose. That and the reputation of the infamous Hyuuga Hinata of the Konoha ANBU."

"I'm embarrassed," I admitted. "I never imagined this outcome."

"You should have," he said. "You're strong, smart, kind, beautiful, and most of all you are honest, something rare to find in this city full of lobbyists and politicians."

"Try living in a shinobi village," I said with a grin, sipping on my tea.

"I may," he admitted. "I am no shinobi but my uncle wants to make me the ambassador to Konohagakure, since my father is to retire soon."

"What an honor!" I said with wide eyes. "You'll be working close with the village then."

"That was my hope, should you choose me as a suitor," he admitted. "But I am not pressuring. Please, make the call on your own time."

"Appreciated," I admitted with a slight grin.

It was then that the Daimyo came back in. He handed me the scroll as he sat back down and I took it, reading the short paragraph within.

Dear Nara Shikamaru, Hokage of Konohagakure,

As you may know by now, Hyuuga Hinata has left Konohagakure. I realize this is unauthorized but know that she is safe in my hands. I would like you to inform her family as well as her squad leader Uchiha Sasuke. She will remain here for an undetermined time frame as a guest of my household. Send my warm regards to Hyuuga Hiashi-sama and I will be in touch soon with details on our latest project. I hope this finds you well. As I have said, I know this is unauthorized and unexpected but I have faith in this young kunoichi's judgment. She will serve as a special reserve guard in my palace and therefore is not subject to punishment under Konohagakure law for her departure. Think of it as a special request.

Sincerely,

Fire Daimyo Akito Shinjimi

I smiled and nodded before handing the scroll back to him. He nodded, rolling it up and shortly after a servant entered. He instructed him to send their fastest hawk to Konoha and it was done. I was here, away from the village and safe from pressure and judgment. I wasn't sure if I'd return but only one thought was going through my mind. Freedom from his constant prescience, from his name, his influence, and most of all from the game Sasuke was playing.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"She obviously was feeling pressured and unsure about her options… you cannot blame her. It is your fault."

"But-!"

"It was a part of the plan, loser."

"Ugh, this is such a drag but she's gone for now and there is nothing I can do about it."

"Then I'll bring her back. I'll leave now and-!"

"No, don't bother. Doing that will only scare her more. She's confused, mislead, and she can sense it. We have to put plans on hold."

"You're going to end up hurting her even worse and when you do I don't want to be there to witness the backlash."

"Enough, get out of my office. This discussion is over. It is late and I don't want to hear about anyone, including you two, doing anything stupid. She sought out the Fire Daimyo on this. It is out of my hands. We just have to hope that she stays alert and safe."

"That is not a problem; my men on the inside will keep a close eye."

"That doesn't excuse it! She's gone! All because of this damn plan you, lazy ass, and pig girl planned!"

"That's Hokage Lazy Ass."

"What a loser."

"You really are clueless."


Review if you'd like! Next half will be up soon! :)