A/N: At first: Thanks for the comments again. We're really touched that you still like our „little" story – who by now has become a „huge project"... I'm really REALLY sorry, that we killed Lexie there, too, but it was just kind of „neccessary"... also, we got „rid of" Cristina (as for she went to Mayo in the course of the upcoming chapters), so yeah... I hope, you'll still stay with us and read our story and comment... like you know, the more you comment, the more often we can update ;-)
On another note: This story could be over with the next Chapter (Chapter 9), because the „first big part" would be „over" then, but we've SO much more plannend and already written... the only thing is: It won't be ONLY about Mark & Jackson anymore, there will be other characters coming into the game, and some parts will focus on Alex and April (the best friends of Jackson) and such... so if you aren't interested in this, just let us know and the next chapter will be the last ;-) Wouldn't be a problem!
And now have fun with the next Chapter! =) Or such! Tissues needed maybe :P
Jackson Avery POV:
Neither Jackson nor Alex talked much on the flight back home.
Too lost in their own thoughts the men kept going over the many different scenarios that awaited them back in Seattle.
Mark had to be okay, because Jackson wasn't sure what he would do if the man was actually gone. The last conversation kept replaying over in his head. How dismissive Jackson was and how he refused to give the man a few minutes to explain.
If Mark was dead Jackson would never forgive himself.
The moment the plane landed and the men got their bags they headed straight for the hospital. Alex had been digging his nails into his palm for the past 45 minutes.
Grabbing their bags from the trunk of the cab Jackson and Alex rushed into the main doors and although they expected to see chaos they were amazed that it looked as normal as any other day.
"We should find Hunt" Alex said as he headed for the man's office with Jackson on his heels. They made their way towards the elevators and just before they got on they saw Callie walking down the east hallway.
"Torres" Alex yelled as he raced towards the woman and caught her just before she was about to walk up the stairwell.
"Have you heard anything?" Jackson asked, she looked as frazzled as she must have felt.
"I'm busy" she said, her voice closed and clipped "my wife and father of my kid are missing" she didn't give them time to speak as she went up the stairs, leaving both men to watch after her.
"Jackson" April said as she walked up to the men "I'm sorry I haven't been able to return your calls, it's been insane" she started to walk towards Hunt's office and both men followed diligently.
"What happened?" Jackson asked.
"The Chief didn't have time to check his messages yesterday until near the end of shift" April said "When he finally had a chance he found out Boise had called and the plane never arrived."
"How does that happen?" Alex asked, each word edged with worry.
"Search and Rescue have been looking for about 10 hours, but until they find them we have no idea what happened" April told Jackson and Alex.
"So we don't know the status of anybody?" Jackson asked and turning around April gave him a solemn look "I'm afraid not".
The three reached Hunt's office and the place was packed. Bailey, Callie and Hunt stood behind the Chief's desk as several Search and Rescue officers stood facing them and explaining their progress.
"Kepner" Owen said "do you have the flight schedule?"
"Yes, sir" the woman responded as she waded through the half dozen agents and handed him the list.
"Is there anything we can do?" Alex asked and looking over, Owen finally took notice of his and Jackson's presence.
"We have everything handled" Owen said "If you two want to help I'm sure Richard could use you in the pit"
They were being shut out.
"We would like to-" Jackson started to say before Callie spoke up.
"You two have done more then enough, leave"
All eyes turned towards him and Alex and now both men felt embarrassed to be there. Just like that, they were no longer part of the family.
Jackson expected Alex to say something indigent. He was already close to cracking and Jackson was sure this would be all he needed to go off.
Amazingly, the man just bowed his head "Yes ma'am" he said and turned around to exit.
As he was about to open the door another Search and Rescue guy came barreling in and nearly knocked Alex over.
"They've been found!" the man shouted "They found the crash site"
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark just wanted to give up. He didn't know what Cristina and the others did to him to safe his life, but no matter what it was, it hurt. His chest hurt, because of course everything happened without any pain medication or anything else, and now a tube - or whatever it was - was stuck inside of his chest to help him breath. It had worked for a while, but right now, the breathing became more and more difficult for him again. Every breath took a lot of him.
He was laying on Arizona's lap - he had no idea how he ended up there, but he did - and she was stroking his hair, trying to keep him awake. Trying to talk to him. He noticed that it was already dark - they must have been there for hours, the whole day, and no one was coming for them. They would die out here and no one would find them. Why weren't they looking for them? Was nobody missing them?
"Mark?" Arizona pulled him out of his thoughts.
"I should have said it earlier," Mark murmured. "That I loved him. I should have said it earlier, and now he'll maybe never know."
"He?" Arizona asked quietly, still stroking Mark's hair.
"Jackson. I... I'm so in love... with him... It drove me crazy... but I destroyed everything, and now I'm gonna die and he will never know," Mark replied, even though every word was difficult to say.
"He... he knows... I'm sure he knows... I think he knows," Arizona tried to convince him, but Mark highly doubted it.
"He doesn't know," Mark gave back. "He doesn't know," he repeated, slightly opening his eyes and looking at Arizona.
"Mark. Mark hold on," Arizona said, feeling that Mark got weaker with every passing minute. "I need you. I need you to hold on," she almost begged him and tears were running down her face.
"You're gonna be okay... you don't need me. You take care of our girl," he said.
"No," Arizona cut him off. "Shut up! Shut up, do you hear me? Shut up."
"Lexie is waiting for me," Mark replied. "I'll be okay."
"No, Mark Sloan, no!", Arizona cried out. "No! No! Sofia's waiting for you. And Callie is waiting for you. And I am waiting for you. We will go home together, okay?"
"Okay," Mark whispered, and it really calmed her down, but he didn't know how long he could hold on anymore. It was just so hard to keep his eyes open and to breath, and he knew that it was bad. That whatever injuries and internal bleedings he had, he wouldn't and couldn't hold on forever. If they wouldn't be found soon, he couldn't keep his promise to Arizona at all. But he was glad she was there for him. He would have rather had Jackson and Callie there, too, to say good-bye if it came to the worst, but he was glad he had Arizona, and she could tell them, he was sure.
He closed his eyes again and immediately saw Jackson. Jackson's eyes. Jackson's smile. Oh, how he wished to see him one more time, but Jackson was most likely already packing his things for Miami and never looking back. And Mark could understand him. He could fully understand it and respected his wishes not to talk to him ever again, even though it hurt.
"Arizona..." he said, opening is eyes.
"Please tell Jackson, that I... that I... really... really... cared for him," he begged, feeling a shiver running through his body. That was the first sign that his body was about to shut down.
"NO, Mark! Please. You have to hold on. You have to tell him yourself. I'm sure he's waiting for you," Arizona sobbed, but Mark shook his head slowly.
"He's not... he hates me. So will you tell him, please? And tell... tell Callie I love her, and Sofia too," he coughed.
"Don't die, Mark... please don't die." Hot tears were dripping on Mark's face and he took Arizona's hand and held it very tight.
"I'm sorry... I just... can't..." he replied and took another breath.
Somewhere from afar he heard people screaming and he saw lights, but he was already closing his eyes, feeling his body going limb. He just couldn't hold on any longer, and so he gave in once again and welcomed the darkness consuming him.
Jackson Avery POV:
Jackson did his best to stay out of everyone's way as they prepared a dozen room for their people.
Nobody was foolish enough to believe that any one of them walked away from that accident unscathed. All they could do was pray that none had lost their life in the process.
Alex and Jackson had done what Hunt had suggested and were working in the pit beside Richard. Unlike with Owen and Callie the older man was going out of his way to make sure the two men were okay.
He kept the conversation on the pleasant stories he had when he worked in California for two years. How all that sunshine and endless beaches made it hard to move to Seattle.
Jackson focused on trying not to remember how angry Callie had been or how disappointed Hunt had been with the both of them. He just wanted to know if everyone, especially Mark, was going to be okay.
Two hours into their unscheduled shift the sound of a half dozen ambulances caught the attention of Jackson, Alex, and Richard. Jackson and Alex almost took off without thinking before realizing they had a job to do.
"Go" Richard said gently "let me know what's going on?"
"Thank you, sir" Alex said and he and Jackson raced towards the main entrance.
By time they got there, Callie, Bailey, Owen and April were already out front and preparing for the arrival of their friends.
Jackson and Alex stood on one side of April and were putting on a fresh pair of gloves.
"Go back to the pit" Callie said "we have it here"
"We're here to help" Jackson responded "and that's what we're going to do"
Callie looked momentarily stunned, as did April and Owen, while Bailey had a small smile on her face.
The first ambulance to arrive contained Mark and Arizona. Before either Jackson or Alex could reach the bus Callie and Bailey were already helping the EMT unload them and the brief glance they got saw Mark unconscious and Arizona hugging Callie before getting wheeled in.
He had to focus. Jackson wanted nothing more then to follow Mark and see the damage the plane crash had done, but between Callie and Jackson's own fear he would only make things worse.
The second ambulance contained Derek and Meredith. Alex and Jackson rushed up and helped unload them and as far Jackson could tell Meredith seemed relatively fine, but Derek's hand looked nothing short of mangled.
Just by his naked eye Jackson could see that his wrist was fractured and more then likely a few of the fingers were completely broken.
Rushing them into the hospital Alex lead Meredith to an observation room, having to spend several moments pleading with the woman to let go of her husband.
Jackson immediately rushed Derek to an O.R. room. The hand was going to need surgery and it was going to have to be fast.
As Jackson and two nurses sped Derek down the hall the man was speaking. It was obvious that he was delirious, probably due to medication and dehydration.
"She's gone" Derek said "I should have made her stay, but she wanted to go with him to Boise".
"Meredith is fine" Jackson said, hoping to ease the man's mind "she'll see you in a little while"
"No, not Meredith" Derek said "Lexie is dead, I should have made her stay"
"What?" Jackson said as he stopped in his tracks in the middle of the hall.
"I told Lexie to tell him the truth and now she's dead" Derek said once again right before passing out.
"Dr. Avery" nurse Lewis said "we have to go"
Jackson didn't have time to mourn or question. He was a surgeon and right now he had a job to do.
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark felt like he was already far gone. The pain has vanished and he just felt good. He didn't even know where he was anymore and whether he was still alive or already dead. He tried to open his eyes, but it didn't work. But the voices weren't there anymore, either, so he probably was dead and this was the end. But why was he able to still think?
Once again he tried to open his eyes and when he did, he found himself in some sort of haze. But it wasn't uncomfortable. The haze was engulfing him and when he sat up, he saw a shadow. A shadow of another person.
Quickly he got up and tried to follow the person, but the closer he got, the faster the person got away.
"Wait!" he wanted to scream, but not a single sound left his throat and when he tried to move again, it was like his feet were buried into the ground. Deep into the ground. And then there was this light. A warm, welcoming light. He wanted to go there. He wanted everything to be over, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to move in that direction. He was not ready. He was not ready to die yet. He had a daughter who needed him, and even though he maybe would never see him again, there was also Jackson. Jackson who he truly cared for. Who he was crazy for. Who he just wanted to see one more time.
He needed to start fighting. He needed to wake up. Callie would never forgive him if he didn't. And Arizona would never forgive him, if he didn't. He promised her to hold on, so he should.
Had they been found yet? Were they saved? Were Arizona, Derek, Meredith and Cristina okay? Lexie... Lexie was dead. Mark felt a pain in his chest. He lost Lexie. He tried everything, but he couldn't save her. He should have been with her. He should have denied that he loved Jackson to make her happy in the last minutes of her life, but instead they were talking about him. About his love life. About how to get back to his guy. It should have been about Lexie instead.
Lexie. He used to love her so much. He would have done everything for her. If she wouldn't have left him, they might be married by now. With kids. He would most likely never have fallen for Jackson the way he had, if they would have been still together. Would it have changed anything? Maybe. Maybe Lexie would still be alive. Meredith wouldn't have lost her sister.
Mark shook those thoughts off. Lexie told him she wanted him to be happy. To be happy with Jackson, and he would do everything to talk to him once again. He wanted to see him again. Only one more time. To tell him what he felt. To look into his big, green eyes once again and see his smile one last time.
Slowly he tried to open his eyes to get away from this dream world he has built himself. He had lost track of time and space. He didn't know how much time had passed and where he was, but he felt better. He was still in pain, but it felt like he was taken care of. They must have been found.
Mark's eyelids started to open and first everything was blurry. He couldn't see much, only outlines. More like shadows. He saw people moving around him and he heard noises. And voices, but he couldn't relate them to someone. Not yet. Some voices sounded more familiar than others, some outlines looked more like he knew them than others. The pain medication must have put him in some kind of delirium, because it took him a while and a lot of his willpower to close his eyes and open them again, to see the people around him a little more clear now.
Someone was standing beside him. Next to his bedside. Touching his hand, but it felt so unreal. Was he at the hospital? And if so, in which one? Was he "home"? At Seattle Grace Mercy West? He hoped so, because if he died, he rather wanted to die at home instead of some wood he never was in before.
He took a few deep breathes, noticing that his mouth was dry and it was pretty difficult to do so. He wanted to speak, so he opened his mouth, but nothing came out of it. Again. Only what sounded like a rasping sound came out and it sounded so strange. So unfamiliar. Was this him?
Once again he tried to focus on the person who was standing there and the shock was apparent on his face, when he finally recognized the other person. Jackson. But that couldn't be. He couldn't be here, he was in Miami to start a new life. He had to be dreaming. He had to still be in a coma or such and this was only wishful thinking because he wanted the other man to be here so bad, that he was imagining him. But if so, he wanted to be in this dream a little longer. He didn't want to wake up only to find out that he was alone, or that he was still in the woods with Arizona. A small smile formed on his lips and he started squeezing the hand that was holding his. It felt warm. It felt real. This was such a beautiful dream.
Jackson Avery POV:
Derek's surgery clocked in at a little over 4 hours. Jackson had to reset the man's wrist and do his best to keep the broken fingers in place until Callie could go in and give them the proper treatment they needed.
It was going to save Derek's career, but he had a lot more surgery in his future.
Halfway through the procedure Alex scrubbed in and joined him. Jackson acknowledged him with a nod and it wasn't a surprise to see the man standing across from him.
He didn't want to be out there alone.
Alex agreed to do the post-op on Derek and mentioned that Mark's surgery was probably finished also. Thanking Alex, Jackson headed for the man's room and seeing Bailey, Callie and Owen discussing something over his bedside Jackson thought it best to wait until the room was clear.
Mark would be out for at least a few hours anyway.
It took twenty minutes for Mark's room to empty out and walking in Jackson pulled a chair up to sit by the man's bedside. The absolute quiet of the room unnerved him. All he could hear was the beat of the heart monitor and the slow, steady breathing of Mark.
"I don't know what to say" Jackson said aloud "I never thought we would be here".
He ran a hand through Mark's hair "I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you. I was just stubborn and angry, but that's no excuse for the way I acted. You made a mistake and I've made enough in my lifetime to at least hear you out"
Jackson had read stories of people being under anesthesia and still being able to hear and feel what was going on around them. Jackson wasn't sure how true he wanted that to be right now.
"I've lost a lot of people I care about Mark. My dad, Charles, and now Lexie is gone. I can't lose you Mark, I don't know if I would be able to survive that"
Looking down at Mark's chest he saw the rise and fall that indicated the man was here and he was alive.
"I'm in love with you, Mark, and I should have told you that sooner" Jackson said "you have to give me the chance to let you know that"
"J-Jackson" a cracked voice said and looking up Jackson sat astonished as he saw Mark staring at him.
"You're here" the man said.
"Yeah, I'm here" Jackson said as he hit the call button.
"You love me" Mark said with a smile "I love you"
Jackson didn't know if it was Mark or the medication talking, but he loved hearing it none the less.
"Mark, I'm sorry that-" Jackson tried to say, but before he could finish Owen and Callie came rushing into the room.
Pushing Jackson aside without a word Callie smiled down at Mark "There you are" she said and Mark smiled up at the woman.
"He seems dehydrated" Jackson said and Callie turned around to face the man "You can go now" she said "we got it from here".
Jackson couldn't afford to push the subject. He was already on thin ice at the hospital and he was sure Owen was looking for any reason to expedite his exit from Seattle Grace.
For the first time since hearing about the plane crash the realization that Jackson would no longer work here finally hit him.
How could he leave now?
Owen had given Jackson a job and he accepted it before pulling the carpet from under the man's feet and deciding to move across the country.
No man in their right mind would offer that job a second time, not that the option was even possible. Jackson had interviewed for Miami and he had gotten Miami.
Why in the hell did he have to act like such a spoiled, angry child? The thought had made him think of his brother and Jackson knew that if the man was here right now he would only laugh and tell Jackson he brought it on himself.
"How is he doing?" April asked as she walked up to Jackson as the man stood silently against a wall.
"He's awake" Jackson told her "so that's good"
Jackson looked inside the room and saw Callie and Owen doing test on their colleague.
"She's just scared, ya know" April said and seeing Jackson look at her confused she continued. "Callie. She almost lost two of the most important people in her life and you and Alex are just easy targets."
Jackson was about to say something before he heard Callie and Owen yelling inside of Mark's room.
Rushing to the door he could see Owen preparing two paddles to place on Mark's chest. He was going into V-Fib.
The next few moments past like a whirlwind. They had used the paddles to no avail and Jackson could already see Callie started to cry. They were going to lose him.
Mark would survive the plane crash only to die after he and Jackson finally said they loved one another .
Owen was still trying in vain as Callie screamed for Mark to hold on, but Jackson could see Hunt was already preparing to let go.
"No" Jackson said "go get me a blade kit and a 5 tube, now" Jackson yelled at April and the girl didn't hesitate as she ran to retrieve the set for Jackson.
Rushing into the room Jackson did his best to hold back his emotions as he saw Mark laying there prone.
"Jackson what are-" Callie started
"His chest is protruding" Jackson said "we need to relieve the pressure"
"This isn't your specialty" Owen said "I can't authorize this"
"I'm only here for two more weeks and this was my specialty for 3 years, so since your wife or Teddy aren't here I'm going to have to kindly ask you to shut the fuck up" Jackson was scared and angry. There was no way Owen was going to let him stay on now, but the last thing Jackson cared about was his job.
April came running with disinfecting soap and two pairs of gloves and quickly helping Jackson sanitize himself and place the gloves on her friend's hands right before Jackson cut Mark's chest open.
Blood had built up along the vena cava and once Jackson cut into it and Jackson inserted the tube the blood traveled through the tube and into a collection pan that April held.
Please work, please – Jackson pleaded silently.
30 seconds of agonizing waiting and Mark engulfed his first breath. The relief was like a wave, but they had to get him to surgery.
"April, call for an operation room" Jackson said and Owen grabbed the other side of the bed to help the man wheel Mark into surgery.
Callie looked as if she wanted to say something, but thought better of it.
Looking down at Mark Jackson saw that the man was still unconscious, but he was still breathing.
Jackson wasn't going to let Mark die. He'd rip him from the hands of the Grim Reaper himself if he had too.
Mark Sloan POV:
The picture in front of Mark's face got clearer and clearer and then he was sure he saw him. Jackson. He still had to be dreaming. It was impossible that Jackson was here, was it? Jackson was sitting at his bedside and holding his hand. But why? He couldn't believe his eyes and winked, but Jackson didn't vanish.
"I'm in love with you Mark and I should have told you that sooner... you have to give me the chance to let you know that"
Mark couldn't believe that this was real. That Jackson - his Jackson, the man he loved so much - loved him back, but he was saying it. Was he telling the truth or was he just saying it because he was afraid of losing him? Like he told Lexie he loved her, even though he didn't mean it the way Lexie wanted it.
"J-Jackson," Mark tried to say to get Jackson's attention and immediately, he had it and Jackson was staring down on him.
"Yeah, I'm here," he heard Jackson say and his heart got filled with love, oh so much love, for the younger surgeon. Jackson was really here, this wasn't a dream. Jackson was with him and then it hit him.
"You love me" Mark said and couldn't stop the smile that was forming on his lips. "I love you"
He looked at Jackson, noticing that he wanted to say something, but then everything went down pretty fast. He saw Callie and Owen pushing Jackson out of the way and heard them talk, while his own eyes were still fixed on Jackson, who was now leaving the room. Mark wanted to say something, he wanted Jackson to stay, but somehow Callie and Owen were all over him and he didn't even have the chance to do so. He had just found Jackson, he didn't want him to leave again.
He felt Owen and Callie touching him, and when they touched his chest, it felt like it was going to explode any minute. Like they had pulled a trigger and then the pain was back. Worse then last time. Worse than after the plane crash. It hurt. He let out a noise of pain and then breathing became difficult. Again. He thought he was over this. He was feeling so much better but all of a sudden it was like someone was pressing down on his lungs and he just couldn't get air.
"Please stay with me, Mark! Mark, please!", he heard Callie beg, but her voice got further and further away until it was gone.
And then there was this familiar haze again. And then he saw this silhouette. The one he had seen before. A person, who he couldn't identify just yet, so he ran after this person. And then there was the light again, but when he reached it, he recognized the person in front of him. Lexie.
"No, don't" Mark heard her say and felt her hand touching his chest softly.
"But why?" Mark asked, looking down at her.
"Because it's not your time, Mark. You shouldn't even be here. You promised me you will tell Jackson that you love him," Lexie said with sad eyes.
"But I did. Maybe I did what I was supposed to do and my unfinished business is finished. Maybe that's the reason I even was still alive when I got rushed into the hospital," he replied. "We could be together forever if you just let me come with you."
"Mark, you don't wanna be with me, and you don't belong with me. You belong with him." Lexie moved a hand and some kind of window opened. A window through which he could see Jackson fighting for his life. Jackson was cutting open his chest and Mark watched him putting a tube inside him and even though the pain was still present, he could start breathing again.
He felt his body react to the release of blood and reared up, before he sank down on the bed again, and then he was back with Lexie, who was still standing in front of him.
"He's fighting for your life, don't you see?" She asked.
Mark bit his lower lip. "Because he's a doctor. Of course he has to try to save me."
"You know that's not the only reason. Hunt had already given up on you and if it wasn't for him, you might have already gotten your wish and be dead. You were flatlining, and that's the reason you're even here. You need to fight. You two have a future, unlike me," Lexie said.
Mark closed his eyes for a moment. "But that's not fair."
"Life is not fair, Mark. If anyone should know that, it's you," Lexie gave back, touching Mark's cheek and leaning forward. "I will always love you, Mark Sloan, but you have to go now. And so do I. Live the life you deserve. Be happy with the person you love and never let him go again." And then she kissed him, and Mark knew it was a good-bye kiss. And that this was most likely the last time he would ever see her, so he just gave in.
When he opened his eyes again, she was gone and he was standing in the dark, because with her, the bright light was gone as well. He didn't feel any pain, but he could hear Jackson's voice, asking him, begging him to stay with him. To come back to him. And Mark wanted nothing more. He wanted to be happy.
