Chapter Eight
Sam arrived early at McKinley the next morning, eager and determined to start putting his plan into action. Quinn Fabray had caught his eye the moment he had first seen her: he had never seen a more beautiful girl in his life and as he found out more about her, his feelings developed rapidly. Not only was she beautiful, she was also smart, kind, funny and talented artistically. For all their persuasion, it wasn't really Finn and Puck who persuaded him to join glee: their suggestion was cemented by the knowledge that Quinn was a member.
More over, and quite incomprehensibly to Sam, she seemed completely unattached. There seemed to be no boyfriend anywhere, even in another school, or even college or something, which he half expected with such a mature girl. He had asked some of the football team if she was going out with anyone. Most didn't think so, and one had given a weird chuckle and said she didn't have a boyfriend, which didn't seem that funny, but whatever, it was what he wanted to hear. So… she was single. Enter Sam Evans.
Sam's plan was, at the very least, simple and direct, even if it wasn't original. The plan was, wait until he sees Quinn, then ask her out. What could go wrong?
As luck would have it, Quinn was at school fairly early too and Sam saw her from a way down the corridor, standing in front of her locker and arranging her books for the day. He took a deep breath, breathed on his hand and sniffed to ensure that his two teeth cleanings had been affective, ran one hand through his shaggy blond mop to make it look whimsically untidy, squared his shoulders, and stepped towards her.
He then stumbled several paces back due to the hands on each of his shoulders. Looking around wildly he saw Mike Chang and Kurt, apparently directing him somewhere.
"What the hell?"
"You need to come with us," Kurt said levelly. "And you need to come with us now, before you go and talk to Quinn."
Sam bristled at the assumption the two were making. "And just why should I listen to you two?"
Mike and Kurt hadn't stopped marching him away from the object of his affections, and he realised they were headed to the choir room. This time it was Mike who spoke up.
"Oh, it's not just us, man. This is an intervention."
Entering the choir room, Sam saw Tina and Mercedes rise from their seats while Artie wheeled himself forward a little.
"All you guys?"
"Actually, we're speaking on behalf of the whole club… minus Sunshine, who doesn't know, and Rachel, who's too close to Quinn, and Quinn, for obvious reasons," Artie listed, looking straight at him. Sam looked back and saw, for the first time, the steady, unwavering quality of Artie's expression. Looking further over he saw Tina give him a big, friendly smile as she walked over to stand with Mike, and even caught the tiny, almost not-there flash of expression that passed Artie's face as she did so, and which was gone almost before it registered. Finally he saw Mercedes smiling a little nervously at him. The fact that someone else wasn't particularly comfortable right now calmed him, and he sent one of his charming smiles back at her.
"Okay, so a glee intervention about Quinn. Why isn't Sunshine getting all… intervened too?"
"She doesn't need to be," Kurt answered crisply. He was probably the best speaker of the group and they had agreed he could take the lead on this. "I expect Finn will tell her sometime soon, but it won't be such a big deal for her."
"What won't?" Seeing them exchange glances, Sam felt even more annoyed. "Look, can I go? I was just about to talk to someone…"
"Quinn." Kurt nodded. "You were about to ask her out."
Sam's mouth opened wide, which, with a mouth like his, was quite a sight. "How the hell d'you know that?"
Tina shrugged. "You weren't exactly subtle yesterday, Sam," she answered with her soft, gentle voice. "You were staring right at her during that song."
Sam flushed, further annoyed by being caught out like that. "Okay, so I like Quinn. Why shouldn't I ask her out? She's available."
Mike shook his head. "Bad idea, dude."
"Oh, and why's that?" Sam wasn't trying to hide his anger any more. "She seems like a great person, she's gorgeous, she's nice to people, she's smart… why would it be such a bad thing?"
Kurt stepped closer, clearly angered by the fact that he was implying there must be some problem with Quinn, and Sam stepped back from him, having not imagined that the normally cool and collected boy would ever act on his temper.
"There is nothing wrong with Quinn Fabray," he ground out from between his teeth. "She's about the kindest and nicest person I've ever met, and I feel privileged that I can count her as my friend."
"Damn straight," Artie agreed, and the others nodded their heads, making soft, affirmative sounds in their mouths. Sam nearly howled with frustration.
"So why the fuck should I not ask her out?"
He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to find Mercedes gazing at him with sympathy. "Sam, we just don't want you to embarrass yourself, and then maybe feel you can't be around her anymore." Now he was totally confused, as was completely obvious from his expression, and Mercedes sighed.
"Look, Sam, Quinn talked to the club at the beginning of the semester. She came out."
"Onto the stage?"
Kurt folded his arms. "Of the closet, genius. Quinn's gay, Sam."
Sam felt like someone had thrown a bucket of water over him. It seemed so weird, and yet… oh God, this explained so much.
"Er… oh shit, she is isn't she?" They all nodded silently, the effects of being in a choir together obvious, as they all did it in unison. "Thanks, you guys. That would have been mortifying."
Tina smiled again, he realised she was a very sweet person, and knew now why Mike always seemed so happy. "If you're going to be part of the team, you need to get used to the team looking out for you, Sam. We just hope you'll still want to be part of it despite Quinn being… unavailable."
Sam looked around, and for some reason his eyes landed on Mercedes once again. He was struck by how she looked pretty much like Quinn's exact opposite, and yet in her own way was just as beautiful. He smiled gently.
"Oh, I think I can find a couple of reasons to stick around."
A few minutes later Tina, Mike, Sam and Mercedes had left the room, talking quietly together, leaving Kurt and Artie. Artie suppressed a sigh, and looked up at Kurt, his usual smile in place.
"I think it would be best if Sam never found out that it was Quinn who asked us to speak to him."
Kurt laughed, doing up his designer bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "I would not want to see Sam's face if he ever found out. Honestly, I have never seen anyone be so obvious, did he really expect Quinn not to realise?"
Artie shrugged. "People do weird things when they like another person, I guess." His tone was abstracted, and almost melancholy, but Kurt hardly noticed. A week ago he had made a trip to Dalton Academy, a nearby private school, whose show choir, the Warblers, would be one of their rivals at the coming sectionals competition. And there he had met a guy named Blaine.
Each lost in their own thoughts, one in the unrestrained admiration of first attraction, the other still trying to get over the girl he was in love with, the two guys made their ways towards homeroom.
Rachel was limping when she got to school a little while later, and that wasn't the worst of it. An altercation with her 'father' the night before, on the subject of her continued association with her new best friend and her continued attitude problems (for which she read 'standing up for herself'), on top of the main reason for their contempt for her, had led to her being thrown across her bedroom again. This time she had been less fortunate than previously: she had landed hard on her left arm, and thought she had heard something crack. She fervently hoped that it wasn't broken, but the pain was severe enough and to be safe she had done her best with an ancient first aid kit to fashion a sling, if only for the short term. She'd head to the local free clinic after school: they knew her there, and didn't ask questions she wasn't able to answer.
She'd been hoping to avoid Quinn, in a half-hearted way, at least for now. Actually she wanted to see her friend more than anything, because the blonde's presence was so soothing to her and helped her forget, at least for a while, the nasty dead-end her life apparently was. On the other hand, she really didn't want to see that look that was close enough to pity to be objectionable. Quinn didn't pity her, she knew, but the expression of combined sorrow, concern and fear was too much for Rachel to take right now. Unfortunately for her, Quinn was waiting at Rachel's locker, and her expressive hazel eyes widened as she took in her friend's appearance.
"Rach, wha-"
"Not now, Quinn. Please? I don't want to talk about it."
The dismissal struck Quinn with a force that was almost physical. Rachel had completely avoided looking in her eyes, or looking at her at all, simply getting what she needed out of her locker, struggling slightly with her hindered arm, and strode away, apparently determined not to interact in any way. The words had been unusually clipped too, with none of the brunette's normal warmth.
Quinn was left feeling sick with worry, and not a little heartbroken too. Rachel might not have known, might not have had any idea about Quinn's increasingly romantic feelings towards her, let alone reciprocated them in any way, but her ignorance didn't make the rejection hurt any less and the hurt was very real, a visceral thing that took root in her gut and proceeded to worm its way throughout her body. She almost staggered to her first class, which she sat through as though she were in a trance, completely unresponsive to anything said by her teacher or done by her fellow students.
And it didn't get any better as the day progressed. Class followed class, and Quinn sat through all of them in the same daze, drifting from room to room mindlessly, not engaging with the school day going on around her. No one could get a reaction, not Puck, not Santana, not even Brittany, which upset the normally exuberant blonde a great deal. Even Sue Sylvester tried to elicit a response, acting out of some increasingly obvious fondness for her former champion, but a toneless "Sure, Coach," in answer to the most venomous and insensitive put-down she could come up with, which had managed to insult just about every ethnic, religious and cultural group she knew of, unnerved even her.
After not eating her lunch in the cafeteria for five minutes, Quinn made her way to the auditorium, where she sat and looked at the empty stage. The bell rang but she had a free period, so she continued to stare. And to think.
The first thing she thought was how this stage was where she had first fallen for Rachel Berry. Oh, an emotional connection had been growing between them before that day, she had cared about the smaller girl, but it was here, listening to the angelic voice that no one else was allowed to witness, that Quinn had recognised the active liking she was experiencing, which she had never experienced before, but which she knew could so easily develop further into real, terrifying love. This was not a good place to be thinking these things, she knew, but it was the best one available to her, and so, she thought some more.
The second thing she thought was how scared she was of her reaction. It was totally unlike her. Her upbringing might have been far from ideal, but it had instilled a number of things in her, one of which was an unsurpassed sense of poise. She was not someone to let circumstances get the best of her, to be overwhelmed by things outside her control. Certainly, she was never someone to be so obvious about showing her feelings when something hurt her. True she had been trying to be more open about herself this year, but that couldn't account for the complete breakdown she'd undergone that morning. No one and nothing had ever provoked that reaction from her before, and she realised glumly that it was probably far too late to do anything about this: she was already in too deep. This was just another risk she would have to take.
And the final thing, the biggest thing, the thought that raged through her mind as she sat staring at the empty stage, was that this could not continue. It needed to stop. Whatever was happening to Rachel needed to end, and very soon. And so, Quinn Fabray made a decision, one she knew might lose her the best friend she'd ever had, and someone she already felt deeper for than any boy she had been with. She took a deep breath and left the auditorium, not noticing the pair of eyes watching from the balcony seats.
"Hey Finn, how are you doing?"
Finn turned and smiled at his favourite teacher, hoisting his backpack further on to his shoulder.
"Good thanks, Mr. Schue. Surprisingly good, I guess."
Will smiled back, pleased for the student he identified with so much. "So I hear. Grades improving? I'm looking forward to great things in your next Spanish paper. What's your secret?"
Finn blushed, averting his eyes. He really was a mass of contradictions: at once hugely popular and confident, at the same time painfully self-conscious and shy. He ran his hand through his hair distractedly.
"Well, probably my new study partner, Mr. Schue."
"Oh? Would this be Miss Corazon?" Will couldn't help teasing Finn, and also couldn't help but think that it would be good for Finn to move on. The kid hadn't been on a date since all the drama with Quinn, and he needed a boost in self-confidence.
Finn's face was now bright red, but he smiled anyway. "Yeah, I guess so. She really helps me, the way she explains everything is so much clearer than all the teachers here… er, present company excluded, of course." Will just chuckled.
"Of course. Well, I'll see you later, Finn."
"Sure, Mr. Schue." Finn walked on down the hall, pausing at the corner to tie his shoe laces. He was about to stand up again when he felt something collide with his back and two arms reach round his neck. He smiled as he stood up anyway, hearing the startled squeak from behind him and feeling two legs wrap round his torso.
"I think this whole ambush idea might have backfired on me," Sunshine said from behind his head. Finn grinned and started to walk.
"Oh, was that what this was? I thought you just wanted a ride."
Sunshine adjusted her position till she was more comfortable and Finn tried to ignore the warmth and softness he could feel where her slight weight rested on him. "Sure, that could work. Just, you know, try and avoid ceiling fans."
Finn chuckled. "I'm pretty sure there aren't any in this school, Sunshine, but I take the point. Where are you going?"
The small girl giggled. "You're hopeless, Hudson. We both have a free right now, we were going to work on American History in the library."
"Oh, yeah." Finn brightened and took the next turning towards the library, not caring about the few weird looks he was getting. Somehow, what everyone else thought just didn't matter so much right now.
"Hey, do you know what's happening in glee this week?" Sunshine asked abruptly. Finn nearly shrugged, before remembering that that might just knock the small girl off his back.
"I dunno. Probably trying to find numbers for Sectionals, they're coming up pretty soon."
"Finn, you know that girl in glee who never says anything?"
Finn turned his head, but couldn't see anything except a strand of black hair in his peripheral vision. "Rachel?"
"Is that her name? Why is it she never speaks? And that no one ever talks to her, except Quinn?"
Finn sighed and set Sunshine down at the entrance to the library and holding the door open for her, silently thanking Quinn for the lessons in chivalry she gave him when they were going out, when Sunshine beamed up at him at the gesture.
"Rachel… she was one of the first members of the club last year, before I joined, but she's always made an effort not to be noticed. We only realised at the beginning of the year when we were practicing and it sounded weird, and we eventually figured out it was because she wasn't there. Quinn kind of made it a mission to be her friend, and we all wanted to do the same thing, but we think she's got… you know, personal stuff going on.
"Anyway, Quinn warned us all to take it easy, so at the moment we're being nice and trying to involve her some, but not pressuring her. I know I've seen her talking to Kurt as well as Quinn, though, and I think Puck's getting to know her, too. Just a bit of a sensitive situation, and I'm not really known for my sensitivity, so I'm staying away for now, just till she's more comfortable. You, though," and he looked down at the perpetually cheerful Sunshine, "should totally get to know her: I don't think anyone can resist your happy vibe."
Sunshine blushed and, in a sudden movement, grabbed Finn's hand as they searched for an unoccupied table to work at. Finn gave her a slightly nervous grin and got out his textbook, determined to make his newest friend proud of him.
Rachel was just about ready to be done with today. She felt horrible. Not only was she hurting physically, but she knew how much she'd hurt Quinn by brushing her off the way she had. Now she wanted nothing more than to finish school, get home while avoiding her parents, and trying to lose herself in a book or something for the rest of this miserable day.
It was a sign of how things had changed, though, that people had noticed. Not just Quinn, either. Kurt had chatted to her for a while, and made a few subtle inquiries into her well-being, that she side-stepped as well as she could. In the cafeteria Puck had asked who he needed to pound on; she had changed the subject as quickly as possible. Tina had asked to study with her during study hall, and had made all sorts of offers for help that Rachel felt hard-pressed to refuse. Most weirdly, Santana of all people had stopped in the hallway, levelled her terrifying gaze at the smaller brunette and inquired as to how she was doing, with Brittany smiling happily from behind her shoulder. When Rachel had assured them that she was fine, the tall blonde girl had swooped in and hugged her so tightly that she thought one of her bruised ribs might crack, but she couldn't bring herself to complain: Brittany's hugs were wonderful, and seemed just for a moment to make everything better.
Still, she was getting tired. Not of the concern and the compassion, those were so gratifying she could hardly believe it. No, she was tired of lying to everyone, of keeping everything secret. She had to remind herself throughout the day why it was she kept this secret to herself. As the final bell sounded, Rachel made her way to her locker, resting her forehead against it for a moment to catch her breath before heading home.
"Berry!"
The whip-crack voice made her turn around so quickly her back slammed against her locker door, but before she could register the pain her eyes widened as she saw who had been calling her.
Sue Sylvester, demonic in her blood-red tracksuit, was striding straight towards her, her cold eyes zeroed in like she had a missile lock. Rachel flattened herself to her locker, knowing that, as a non athlete, the accepted behaviour was to stay out of Sue's face as long as possible. Apparently, that wasn't going to work right now. Without slowing her pace, Sue grabbed a handful of Rachel's jacket and yanked her into a nearby empty classroom, with little more than a squeak in protest.
"Coach, what-"
"Mouth hole shut, ear holes open, Jewberry. I'm about to drop some knowledge on you." Sues voice was as fast-paced and clipped as ever, but it had lost a great deal of volume, and Rachel wondered if this, still abrasive and unpleasant as it was, could possibly be the 'softer' side of Sue Sylvester.
"You're tight with Quinn, so I know the two of you talked about the offer I made her. Don't speak, just nod if that's correct."
Rachel nodded slightly, irrationally afraid of making too sudden a movement.
"I don't know what advice you gave her, I expect it was the sort of self-empowerment universal love crap that Schuster is always spouting, just as saccharine as the syrup he keeps that ridiculous hair in. Anyway, she came to me today and agreed."
There was silence for a moment, and Rachel realised she was supposed to respond.
"Er… congratulations, coach?"
"I turned her down, at least for now. She's been miserable all day, lost all the attitude and determination she had, what made me want her on the squad. I told her to sort herself out and then come back to me."
Again there was silence, but this time Rachel couldn't respond. Quinn was that broken up? She'd had no idea, having avoided her at all costs all day.
"It doesn't take a genius to tell that whatever's up with her, it has to do with you. So, Berry, fix it. Make it right, cos I need that girl on the squad, but I don't take broken dolls on my team. Make it right because if you don't, so help me, I'll force feed you growth hormone and sell you to the circus as the world's largest midget. Now go."
Rachel moved quicker than she thought she'd ever done before, but the moment she set off down the corridor, she saw Quinn coming towards her. She half turned to leave, but then, thinking what Sue had just said, she turned to meet her friend.
"Hey Quinn. Can we talk?"
"Can we talk?"
Artie looked up, which was far from unusual. He was the only person around who had to look up to talk to Rachel, for crying out loud, but this time he looked up further than usual, into the friendly, if currently concerned, face of Mike Chang. He suppressed the sigh that threatened to overtake him and smiled brightly.
"Sure Mike, what's up?"
Mike shoved his hands in his pockets, and his eyes flickered to the floor, the picture of the uncomfortable male about to start a conversation he had no wish to have, but needed to have anyway.
"Look… Artie, about Tina, I-"
"Let it go, Mike. It's in the past. I don't blame you, or Tina really. It happens. Let's move on."
"That's the thing though." Mike finally looked into Artie's eyes, and he looked miserable. "I can't move on. I just keep remembering that when we first got together… she was still with you. That's a really crappy thing to have done, especially to a friend."
Artie smiled at the word friend; he was glad Mike thought of him that way, because he thought the same way. "I guess… at the time, it kind of sucked. But, it was mostly my fault. Like Tina said, I hadn't been treating her very well. I like to think I've learned from my mistakes, and next time I'll be a better boyfriend, but I'm not gonna get all bitter about Tina. Just admire her taste in guys."
Mike chuckled, though a faint blush rose in his cheeks. "Dude, I sometimes worry that she only likes me for my abs…"
"Oh come on, Mike. You're like the nicest guy in the school, it's why everyone likes you; it's like the Quinn effect. It's not just that you're," Artie pulled a face, "'hot', or a great dancer, or any of that. Just accept it, and accept that I don't hold a grudge, and move on."
"Okay, Artie. Thanks for the talk." Mike didn't look completely convinced, but he walked away anyway, allowing Artie to release his breath and his face to relax from the forced smile. Everything he'd just said was true, but all that didn't mean he didn't find it difficult to be around the new couple. He still really cared about Tina, even if she had been a bit callous about dumping him, and he really liked Mike, despite the fact that he envied him hugely, as Mike seemed to be the epitome of everything that Artie could never be, no matter how hard he worked.
More even than the fact that Mike had Tina, Mike danced. He danced with such effortless grace, and could match his movements to any music. In his wildest dreams, Artie would see himself moving like that, and would then wake up, and remember that that particular dream really was unattainable. Those were bad days, when his thoughts inevitably strayed to the things he couldn't have, and the thing's he'd never be.
He allowed himself the sigh he'd fought down earlier and rolled to his next class, wondering if he could find something to want that he had the slightest hope of getting.
Rachel Berry might have suppressed herself at times, but she couldn't alter her nature. She was a dramatic person, had been from the day she was born, and despite the crushing pressure she'd received pretty much all her life to stamp out those tendencies, she was still prone to drama and even melodrama, if only in her thoughts and daydreams. And so, she had imagined having a conversation like this. She'd been imagining it since she was roughly nine, and it had changed with her, as she'd become older… and as the truth had gotten worse. She'd imagined, yes, but she'd never truly believed that she'd actually have this talk, and especially not in the place she'd imagined having it since the beginning of sophomore year.
And yet here she sat, in the choir room, sitting next to Quinn Fabray but not looking at her, because looking at her would make this impossible. She stared at Mr. Schue's white board, and took a deep breath.
"First thing's first, Quinn. I'll explain, but only if you promise not to tell a soul, not even if you think my life's in danger or something, unless I agree. And you need to let me tell you all of it, not run off part way through."
Quinn nodded slowly, before realising Rachel couldn't see her and answering vocally. Anyone else and she'd give a chuckle about the thing about her life being in danger. With Rachel, she wasn't laughing. She had no idea what to believe.
Rachel sighed loudly, and began.
AN:
Ok, I know this took forever. Lots of stuff going on, writer's block, a holiday, a break up with my girlfriend of three years, loads of crap. Sorry for that. Still, one piece of good news: originally THE TALK was going to be part of this chapter. So I wrote, and then realised it was five pages long so it's part of the next chapter which is, consequently, half written. Yay.
As ever I don't own anything, much as I might wish it otherwise, and many thanks to my beta, the wonderful Cassicio. Although, to be honest, I didn't find any corrections in this chapter…
Reviews are appreciated, honestly, and interesting enough ones I might answer, in case that's some sort of incentive.
Thanks!
Tom
