Piper crept into the Manor, quietly shutting the door behind her. It was very close to five am, and she knew that Phoebe was probably up, waiting and worrying. Piper braced herself, trying to stay calm. Something was happening to her. Something she couldn't explain, and so she had been hiding in her car a few blocks away. A headache throbbed at her temples, and Piper took a few deep breaths. Tiptoeing, she made her way to the stairs. Not three steps later, Phoebe materialized, startling her.

"Where the hell have you been, Piper," Phoebe asked, then forced herself to lower her voice, "I've been worried sick."

Piper tried a shaky smile, racking her brain for an answer she knew wouldn't come. While she wanted to take the anger and anxiety from Phoebe's eyes, she also wanted desperately to sleep. Maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay in the morning. Phoebe, though, had other ideas. As her sister opened her mouth to speak, Piper held up a hand. Just try. Just try to explain for Phoebe's sake, Piper thought to herself.

"I...Well, actually, I was only a few blocks away. Sitting in my car," Piper began, "As you can see, I'm fine. I just...wanted to be alone, I think. I'm sorry for making you worry. Really. But right now, I need to sleep." Piper gave Phoebe another fake smile and tried to push past her. Phoebe put a hand on her arm, and Piper pushed harder. Please, Phoebe. Just leave me alone, she thought, but finally turned around, knowing Phoebe wouldn't leave it alone.

"What," Piper inquired, every ounce of weariness seeping into her tone. Phoebe narrowed her eyes, struggling to keep her voice at an even keel.

"You can't do that to me, Piper," Phoebe said, her words dangerously low, "Not after...I mean...You just can't! It isn't fair. Did you forget how to dial a telephone, or did you just not care enough to call?" Piper closed her eyes against the pain the accusation inflicted. Didn't care?

"Phoebe, that's not it at all," Piper assured her, then grabbed Phoebe's hand, "Come on. Let's go sit down. It's obvious we're not going to bed until we talk." Phoebe followed, albeit hesitantly. She wanted to rant and rave, but at the look of anguish in Piper's eyes, decided against it.

"I'll make coffee," Phoebe offered, wanting a few more minutes to stem the tide of fury. Piper nodded distractedly.

Curling up on the couch, Piper tried to put her thoughts into some coherent form. If only she knew what was going on, if only she could stop the confusion. Piper shut her eyes, concentrating on the things that kept racing through her mind. As if she had no control. As if it weren't her thoughts at all. She wanted to scream, or cry, or just throw things until everything went back to normal. No, she reminded herself forcefully, not normal. She's still gone, you just can't feel it. In fact, Piper could hardly remember anything about her sister. Oh, she knew that they had been close, but the relationship kept eluding her. She had tried recalling memories with Phoebe, and those were in tact. So, why not Prue? Instinctively, Piper clenched her fists, ready for the onslaught of emotion she usually got just from thinking the name. Nothing. Piper felt more emotion because she couldn't remember than because her sister was dead. Now, that's sick. Phoebe walked in, saving her from thinking any further.

"Here, hon'," Phoebe said gently, handing her a mug. Piper smiled gratefully, but said nothing. "So," Phoebe tried after a few minutes of crickets-chirping silence, "What's wrong? Talk to me." Piper nodded, taking one more breath. She couldn't avoid it any longer.

"I've erased her, Phoebe," Piper started, shivering, "I've killed her all over again." Phoebe's heart sank at the anguish in Piper's words. Oh, god.

"What do you mean," Phoebe asked carefully. As if she didn't know.

"I mean, I know she's dead. And that's it," Piper explained, wishing she could leave it at that. Instead, she made herself continue. "I can barely remember what she looks like. I don't have any memories. It's as though, just tonight, every bit of her has been stolen from me in pieces. And I'm scared." Phoebe nodded. She had to ask.

"What are you scared of, Piper."

"I'm scared that it's my fault. That I didn't love her enough, that I wasn't grieving enough, and she's gone forever. Because I'm not a good sister. Because I wasn't doing enough. Or maybe, because I want her gone. I want to not remember." With that, Piper crumbled. Phoebe wrapped her arms around her sister. What was she going to say? What could she say?

"Oh, Piper," Phoebe whispered, fighting tears, "That's not tr-" Phoebe stopped. Was that the phone? She could ignore it, but it could be Paige. In fact, who else would it be? "Honey, I'm just going to be a minute. I need to answer that, just in case."

Piper barely responded, so Phoebe got up, easing away from her. Maybe she could come up with something to say while she got the phone. Hopefully. On the third ring, she managed to grab it, praying nothing serious had happened. Like she did every time the phone rang these days. "Hello?"

"Phoebe," a voice pleaded. Phoebe was immediately alert.

"Paige? Is that you," she asked gently.

"Yes, I...I need you."

Phoebe closed her eyes. "Just come over."

"Okay."

Phoebe listened to the phone click, then the dial tone sounding. Finally, she put the phone back on the reciever. Feeling pulled in several directions, Phoebe made her way back to Piper. Piper was huddled on the couch. She looked so small and helpless, Phoebe nearly lost it. God, she thought furiously, if I ever get my chance at the Elders, I'm going to kill'em.