A New Direction Part 9
At lunchtime Jodie and Mack joined Daria and Jane at what used to be the "outcasts" table to continue their conversation from that morning.
'Okay Daria, spill it, how come you're a martial arts expert?' Jodie asked.
'You'd hardly call me an expert, I'm only a brown belt. No, I started a couple of years back when I was on location in Cambodia with my dad. The security chief we had before Jammy was a former Israeli commando, she was great at fighting but a certifiable nutcase, she decided I needed to toughen up so she started a training regime and of course my dad went along because Mom threatened to disembowel him if anything happened to me over there.'
'Was it that dangerous?' Mack asked.
'Not really, we were giving a lot of local employment so the regional governor had half the national army watching out for us or acting as extras, it was all a matter of getting the right people on our side. You know?' Daria explained.
'Not really, but I'll take your word for it Daria.' Jane replied with a smile. 'Do you mean you had to grease a few palms?' Jane had noticed that Daria was both more talkative but more guarded in what she said than when they were alone.
'Well... there was some of that but actually it was more about convincing them that we weren't going to portray their country or culture in a negative way. The local Buddhist temple hierarch was a great help, he was a big fan of my dad since "Alien Mind", anyhow that's how I started martial arts. I train with the security staff at the house.'
'All right.' Jane nodded. 'I get that but... what about the OTHER thing you did to Kevin? What was all that with taking off your glasses? You blew his socks off and it was even giving ME a boner!' This cracked up the whole table. After a moment Daria wiped her eyes and answered.
'Careful Jane, you don't wanna start any rumors!'
'Too late!' This cracked them up again.
'Nah well last summer we were on location in Montana filming a frontier drama. It was mostly men on the shoot and just a handful of women so we used to hang out together. The lead actress - I won't tell you her name or you'll accuse me of name dropping again - anyway she'd just got married and didn't want any scandal so she asked me to sit with her in the evenings to "keep the wolves from the door" as she put it. We got friendly and she gave me some acting lessons to pass the time. She showed me how to seduce someone with just your eyes, it was fun but I know for a fact I'll never be an actress.'
'Would you show me?' A girl asked from down the table.
'Sure, just not when the boys are watching.' Daria smirked.
'Aww c'mon, no fair!' Mack said and some guys nodded agreement.
'How about I show Jodie and she can show you later?' Daria said. Mack looked as if he was going to object again but then just grinned and gave Jodie a side hug.
'Uh oh.' Jane said then touched Daria's sleeve and pointed at the door.
Daria turned around to see two of the school security staff accompanying a large, threatening cumulo nimbus cloud in an Armani suit.
Jammy glared at her and indicated the door with a jerk of his head. 'Excuse me guys.' Daria said ruefully and walked out into the corridor ahead of the security men. They couldn't hear what was being said but they could see Daria looking shamefaced and bowing several times, student to sensei.
A few minutes later she came back in and sat down.
'What was all that about Daria?' Jane asked with some concern at the change in her friend's demeanor.
'Oh... em... Sensei's disappointed in my lack of self-control. He's going to oversee my lessons for a while - I'm gonna have my ass whupped!'
'He wouldn't hit you!?' Jane said aghast.
'Not personally, no. Sophie's my sparring partner but she won't be holding back tonight. I am gonna be sore but... that's not the hard part.'
'Oh, what then?'
'I have to go apologize to Kevin.'
'Oh come on Daria, you're not serious! He insulted you!'
'Daria.' Mack interjected. 'Kevin's a doofus but he's not a bad guy, somebody probably put him up to it.'
'Doesn't matter. I hit him. I'm supposed to be able to brush off anything other than a physical attack.' She took another swallow of her juice and nervously stood and approached the footballer's table.
Kevin, with a bandaged nose, was sitting beside Brittany Taylor in the center of the group of ball players and cheerleaders. Brittany was watching her with a baleful expression but Kevin was staring at the door. The people on this side of the table turned and watched her warily.
'Excuse me, hi. Kevin? I'm sorry I hit you this morning. You made me very angry but it was wrong of me to hit you. I'm sorry about that.' Daria spoke into the sudden silence at the table.
Eventually Kevin came back from whatever planet he was orbiting and looked at her.
'Whoa, stay away from me, you. I don't fight chicks.'
'I'm not looking for another fight.' Daria sighed. 'I came to apologize.'
'That wasn't cool dude, it was just a joke!' Kevin asserted, though the nasal twang from his broken nose made his voice sound funny.
'Well it wasn't a very funny joke. It made me mad and upset my friend. How would you like it if someone said you were gay?'
'Hey that's not true, I'm a straight guy, right Britt?' His girlfriend nodded enthusiastically.
'Yeah well supposing someone... some liar... said you were gay on TV and then some people you never met started making a joke about it?'
'Not cool, nobody'd say that about me, I'm the QB!'
'Well they said it about me and I'm straight too. Was that cool? Look... never mind... I came over here to apologize for hitting you and I did that.'
'Yeah, why did you hit me? That was a bitch move! What you did.'
Daria was trying to keep her temper under control. Through clenched teeth she tried one last time to explain it to the boy before she erupted. 'Tell me this. If I went out to those reporters outside and told them Lawndale had a gay Quarterback what would you do? Would you hit me? Would you want to hit me?'
Kevin was sweating with the effort of thought. 'I... I don't hit girls...'
'Would you hit me if I was a guy and I said that about you?'
'Hell yeah but...'
'Well then when you think that through you'll know why I hit you. I did what I came to do, goodbye Kevin.' Daria turned on her heel and started to leave. Kevin called her back.
'Hey Daria.'
'What?' Just for one brief moment Daria thought he had figured it out and was going to offer an apology of his own. Silly rabbit.
'Was that Jammy Willesden? He was the greatest!'
'Gaaahhh dammit!' Daria exclaimed and walked away.
The last period of the day was physical education. As they changed into their gym clothes Daria asked Jane if she wanted to come over after school to share the condemned woman's last meal.
'Uh, can't sorry. I have this dumb thing after school.' Jane replied.
'What, sports or something?' Daria asked.
'Nah it's...' Jane was getting embarrassed. 'They've stuck me into Self-Esteem class... again.'
'What? But you don't have... oh let me guess, you smart mouthed Mrs. Manson, right?'
'Sorta - I won't join the track team so this is their way of trying to convince me - it's not working... besides... I like having low self-esteem, it makes me feel special.' Jane quipped.
'Well you must be soft in the head. Don't tell me your folks are going to let the school away with that?'
'Why not? They did nothing the last five times I sat through it!'
'Fi.. WHAT?' Daria was outraged.
'Look Daria, my folks aren't here... they're hardly ever here so why should they care what I do after school as long as I stay out of trouble - and I don't know how much they'd care if I got into trouble.'
'Jane I... that sucks. Well look, your mom will be back tonight or tomorrow so you could ask her then. What's the schedule for that class?'
Jane told her and Daria whistled. 'Okay.' Daria asserted. 'We gotta bust ya outta there Lefty, you in?'
'Well what would I do with my afternoons?'
Daria smiled wickedly. 'Don't worry, I'll think of something. How about that UFO convention coming to town next week?'
Jane's expression turned from resigned to a smile to a grin. 'Now yer talkin' Morgendorffer.'
They were interrupted by the arrival of Brittany Taylor. The girl seemed unsure but determined.
'Daria.' She began.
'Brittany. What can I do for you?'
'This morning when you... did you... were you trying to steal my Kevvie?'
'Wh... Geeze! No! No way he's...' Catching Brittany's expression Daria changed what she was going to say. The last thing she needed or wanted was a girlfight in the locker room.
'I know he's with you and I don't steal other girl's boyfriends. My sister does enough of that.' She added quietly, almost to herself. Louder she said. 'I don't want to date Kevin, okay?'
Brittany still seemed unsure but after a while she settled on 'Keep your hands offa my Kevvie!' before bouncing away to join the other cheerleaders.
Daria caught Jane's eye. The black haired girl was doing her best not to laugh. 'All right Jane, joking time's over, let's go.'
'Sure Daria, let's go practice being cheerleaders.'
'What?'
'I meant let's go do "focus on agility" exercise.' Jane smirked.
'Oh god, more trouble.'
'Oh come on, you can do that Hit Girl dance routine and pretend you're fighting ninjas!'
'I hate you.'
Jane just grinned.
