Hello everyone! It's been a very long time since I last updated but all of my exams are finally over, let's just hope I passed all of them. I missed Fanfiction a lot and I felt really bad for not being able to update regularly but I'm here now to fix it. If there's anyone who is still following this or reading, thank you, thank you, thank you.
This fic is drawing to an end, this is the final chapter. I don't want to complicate things too much as this wasn't meant to be a long shot.
I don't own the characters, just the ideas.
Silence never used to be uncomfortable around them, not once. It was either the good kind of silence, the one that made you feel like no words needed to be said or the kind where they were simply too busy to talk while doing their own thing. At the given moment, however, both of them could feel the density in the air. Dan runs a hand trough his hair and moves in to a standing position.
''I should go look for her, or call her at least-'' his voice sounds slightly nervous, for someone like Dan it's a very odd thing. He is one of those few people who drink gallons of coffee every day and their hands shake uncontrollably, but his voice is always in check. It only makes Nate realize how bothered he really is with the whole situation.
''Are you sure she's going to pick up, I mean it's Blair. When she wants to put on a show she does it very dramatically. Besides, she has nowhere else to go, just let her blow off some steam and when she's ready she'll be back.'' Nate speaks to his own surprise sounds somewhat mature. That's a new one. Truth be told he feels just as miserable himself. Blair missing upsets him just as much as it does Dan, it's just that he would never admit it. He can't admit it, not after everything that happened earlier today. The two of them finally sorted things out. Him panicking about Blair would allow his feelings for her to resurface, making it that much harder on all three of them.
''No, you're right. It's Blair-'' Dan shakes his head lightly ''-she won't do anything stupid. It's just…ugh-'' he grunts ''-things have been so strange lately.''
''What are you talking about?'' Nate leans forward on his knees.
''Everything is different. I mean, we all knew things would change when high school ended and we wouldn't be together, I guess I just never thought everything would change so quickly. And Blair, she's another person around here. She still has her moments but it feels like the old bitchy Blair is gone completely and as much as I anticipated it so far, now that it happened, I'm not sure I like it.''
''Are we still talking about the same Blair?'' Nate jokes but only half way. ''If you ask me, she hasn't changed at all, she's just matured. And hey, she's having a hard time too. Just think about it-'' Dan looks awfully confused at his words but that doesn't stop him ''- she used to be on the top of the hierarchy in Constance, Queen B.'' He says with fake keenness. ''She has to start anew now, rebuild herself, maybe this kindness is just a way to get there.''
Dan thinks about his words for a while then gets up once again. ''Whatever happened to Nate Archibald who just wanted to ditch school and smoke weed all the time.'' Dan jokes nudging him on the shoulder. There is a wide smile spread across his face, he runs to the front door, turning around right before leaving.
''Wait, where are you going?'' Nate asks still mid laugh.
''I have to find her.'' With that he closes the door. Nate falls back in to his seat with a huff. As much as it would be natural for him to hate Dan for obvious reasons, he could never really bring himself to do so, not when all he has been doing is following his heart. He manages to convince himself it's a good thing for Blair and everyone else. She needs someone to ground her and if Nate has to suffer trough watching her happy with some other guy, well, it's better for that guy to be his best friend. Anything to help him get over it.
He is going over the speech he is about to give her, choosing every word very carefully in order not to mess up. You only get so many chances and he is pretty sure if he blows this one it's game over for him. He doesn't get that much time to think it over. A familiar figure shows up in his frame, her hair lightly tussled from the spring breeze outside. Her cheeks are blushing as much as ever giving her cold exterior a dose of loveliness that always built up her appearance. All is right again and everything about her is the way it should be, but his mind is still as restless at it could be. In that very moment everything is clear to him. He doesn't need to fear that the game will end for him, not when it never really started. They stand peacefully for a while, simply drinking each other in. There is no tension this time, both of them know the bittersweet talk is inevitable, even though the outcome is pretty apparent. This time she is the first one to speak.
''What are you doing here?'' She asks even though she knows the answer, maybe it's because she needs to hear him say something out loud, it would ease her nerves a lot.
''I was looking for you.'' He backs a few steps, leaning his lower body against a nearby building. She stays in place, showing her hands in her pockets so she won't fiddle with her ruby ring so much. ''I wanted to apologize, but you already know that.'' Her small smile confirms his thesis so he feels free to continue. ''Nate and I made peace, if that's what you want to call it.''
She opens her mouth to speak but only a small gasp escapes her lips. She shuts it down afterwards nodding gently. It was only a matter of time, she never really thought the two of them would fall apart for good. Unlike all the so called friendships she has with girls over time her two boys never disappoint, she can only expect for the same thing to happen between them. It makes her smile but that smile quickly fades and she finally braves herself to talk. ''We have a lot to discuss.''
''You think so?-'' Dan's eyes are all over the place and she just wishes he could stop and look at her for a while. ''-I think there's really just one thing and we're both very aware of it.''
''I'm sorry-'' her voice cracks
''Sorry for what? You haven't done anything.'' He is so calm and put together she thinks he never really cared at all. It makes her offended and relieved all at the same time. What if he was this indifferent right from the beginning and she was too busy handling herself to notice…possible but not set in stone.
''It takes two people to build a relationship and I feel like ours had none.'' Saying it out loud has its weight. In the past she always thought speaking her mind about thingS that could hurt her was a way of self destruction, now it feels like it's the only way to survive trough all of this…it feels empowering.
''I tried-'' he stops mid sentence and shakes his head ''-or I guess I wanted to try but never really got around it, huh.'' His eyes eventually stop going everywhere at once just to avoid her and he makes eye contact. The look on her face provides him with a feeling of pure anxiety and guilt. She doesn't look mad, angry or even vicious, she simply looks disappointed. She bites her lower lip all of a sudden and that look is replaced by a guilt filled one, a perfect representation of what he looked like moments ago. Her lips then trembles and she exhales loudly, blinking away few times.
''There's something I have to tell you first, before this discussion gets any more heated.'' It takes her a moment to gather her courage and finally start speaking.
''We promised to be honest, that's the least we can do for each other, right?'' He urges on. There's a nervous feeling in his stomach refusing to disappear, a confirmation of how uncomfortable this turned out to be and how wrong it would be to keep it going any further than needed.
''Nate and I slept together last year.'' A small pause. ''It happened that one time and as much as I wish I could tell you that it meant nothing that's not the truth. I have no regrets and hopefully he doesn't either. I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how, I was afraid of your reaction and now I see I was wrong. Not that it's any of your business…or anyone else's business for that matter but you are my best friend and you deserve to know.''
He stares at her for a few moments, his face expressionless. Then he raises his brow and pursues his lips. ''That's okay.'' He says simply and looks at her as if she just told him she likes flowers or anything stupid as that.
''Okay? That's it-'' she throws a slight hiss fit, instead of being thankful and satisfied for his calm reaction she pushes it further. It's almost like she wants him to explode and be mad at them. But nothing, the man remains completely settled. ''-aren't you mad or disappointed. For god's sake yell at me, say that I'm the worst girlfriend ever-''
She is cut off before she gets a chance to burry herself even deeper. ''Why would I say that? We weren't together right?''
''Yeah but-'' she starts with an unclear expression.
''-no buts. I guess a part of me always knew something went down with the two of you. Blair, I may be ignorant most of the time but I'm not dumb.''
She listens to him speak, trying to put everything together in her head as well. He seems to be holding up much better than she ever will and it's throwing her off.
''And that impulsive fight? You haven't talked to each other for months. Was I supposed to believe it was over his stupid car? Come on.''
He clears his throat but says nothing. He simply plops himself down on a nearby bench, and actions she follows suit.
''So what happens next?'' She moves closer so now they're a few inches apart. Her knee touches his briefly and she feels like a little girl again. He gives her a look, then a smile and just like that she is sure everything will turn out all right.
''I get my stuff out of your apartment-'' he speaks and she chimes in.
''I keep a straight face until you're out-'' she says, bittersweet tears already forming in her eyes. He accepts the game and continues.
''I bitterly move in to my old dorm room but I'm secretly overly excited for not having to live in a Chanel-perfumed apartment.'' She breaks in to chuckles at his sentence which sends him laughing along.
''I am relieved I no longer have to keep stocks of stocks of coffee in my cabinet-''
''No, you still have to do that. With my new party oriented flat mates I will use every chance I get to sneak up your fire escape and quietly read my literature there. Coffee is a must, deal?'' He puts an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder in a comforting manner. She leans in to his touch, resting her head on his shoulder.
''Deal.'' She agrees quietly. ''Dan-'' she speaks after a while. She lifts her head up and he looks back at her murmuring a quiet 'huh' ''-I really meant it every time I said I liked being with you.''
''I know-'' he nods with understanding ''-I meant it too. Hey-'' he lifts her chin up with his index finger to make her look at him ''-let's not look at this as something we will forever be bitter about, okay? This isn't an unsuccessful broken relationship…it's just a very successful short one.''
''If you say so.'' She says with a smile and gets up. ''I should go and talk to Nate, I can only avoid him for so long.'' Her eyes concentrate on the floor. As soon as her hands are out of her pockets she starts fiddling with her ring again.
''Are you going to get together?'' Dan asks and even though it would only be natural for him to be furious and exasperated about it, he is simply curious.
Blair draws in her lower lip, shaking her head from side to side. ''No, I don't think that's happening any time soon.''
She waves a little goodbye and turns around to leave. Her eyes look so sad once again that he just has to stop and ask. ''Blair-'' she turns around ''-do you still love him?''
Her lips form a straight line, her eyes rolling up from the floor to the sky where she keeps them for a while. ''I might.'' With that she starts pacing back home.
The walk back to her apartment doesn't acquire that much time considering she wasn't far away in the first place, yet somehow she feels that when she gets there she won't be on time and he will be gone along with her perfect chance to make everything right. The universe seems to be on her side today as she steps in side and he is still very much present. She gasps, partially because she is relieved and also due to her rushing to get here. He gets up from his sitting position, his eyes a little wider than a moment ago.
''Dan's looking for you.'' He blurts out. He wasn't even thinking before speaking up. It seemed like the right thing to do.
''I know.'' She says and leans against the door as she closes it. ''I just spoke to him.''
Nate shoves his hands in his pocket. ''Is he coming back?'' God his questions are stupid, he is pretty sure she thinks the same, especially with her eyes narrowing at him right about now. He just can't help himself. They've been apart for so long, he is afraid if he does or says something wrong things will get even more screwed up than they already are.
''He is, later-'' she pauses for a second ''-to pick up his stuff.''
Her words pierce him hard and cold. His brows furrow in disagreement, he shakes his head lightly. ''What? You guys broke up, why?''
She is beyond surprised by his reaction. Since when is he the emotional one and Dan the doesn't-give-a-fuck type? So it's true when they say people change faster than seasons. Or maybe she just hasn't been paying attention to anyone else beside herself. Could easily be that.
''We were never together-well not for real if you ask me. I think we both just needed someone and it sort of happened.'' She blinks away her thoughts on that, enough moping around, there is still a lot she has to clear out.
''But it meant a lot to have him here, especially since we stopped talking.''
''I thought you didn't want to talk about it.'' He steps closer.
''Did you really think that, Nate?'' She puts her belongings on the table next to the door and steps inside. She takes the seat he had sat on and rubs the side of her head with her index finger. ''I'm tired of fighting, tired of pretending-''
''So let's stop then.'' He cuts in ''Let's stop pretending that we can avoid this forever and act nice about it.''
''I told Dan what happened, about us.''
Nate stays completely still, until he finally turns his head around to face her. ''Was he upset?''
Blair laughs sarcastically ''Not even a little bit. I was kind of offended actually.'' Now she laughs for real. Nate's mouth spreads in to a wide smile, he nods with understating.
''That's what I thought.''
Blair snaps ''Are you serious?'' her brows furrow and she gets up, she starts pacing left to right in front of him, with her fists angrily on her sides. ''Was someone giving lesions in compassion and I was the only one not invited? I don't understand, how can the two of you be so calm about this?''
Nate gets up and grabs her by her shoulders. ''Hey, hey. Stop pacing.'' She doesn't obey so he uses a bit more force and lightly pushes her in to a sitting position on the couch. ''It's just the way it is with guys, I know it's hard for you to imagine a world without drama but for the rest of us peasants, it's quite common.''
She narrows her eyes at him, her lips almost form an irritated pout.
''Are you still mad at me?'' He is sitting next to her now. Both of them decide to play the childish card and 'ignore' each other by staring straight forward instead of keeping eye contact.
''I'm not mad, I'm just frustrated.''
''No-'' he rubs his eyes, then folds his hands in front of his face ''-I'm talking about what happened last year.'' The last part of that sentence is so hard to say out loud but feels good nonetheless.
She breathes in before speaking. ''I don't know. I've been angry for most of last year, even through this semester…but right now…no. I don't feel mad anymore. And I don't regret anything that happened, if that's what you wanted to know.''
A wave of relief washes over him instantly. It's been eating him up since day one. If only he had not been a coward and did the talk right away.
''I loved you-'' their eyes finally meet and hers are watering up ''- it wasn't on impulse, I truly cared about you. I still do.''
She nods and wipes away one tear that managed to escape. ''I care for you too-'' she returns to their eye contact, confident she won't cry again ''-but I think we owe ourselves a chance to be free of this emotional torture and at least try to move on.'' They both know it's the truth, still, it doesn't make it any easier to hear.
''I know, trust me, I know.''
''Will we still remain close?'' she asks with a waver in her voice. He smiles down at her and kisses the top of her head.
''You'd have to hire a hit-man to get rid of me.''
One year later
''You son of a bitch.'' Nate hisses angrily.
''It's not my fault you can't play.'' Dan mocks shamelessly.
''It's not my fault you're gonna lose anyways.'' Nate resorts and pokes Dan's ribs with his elbow causing him to drop the controller.
''Booya!-'' He rises proudly, raising the console above his head as if it were something sacred. ''What did I tell you, huh? I win.''
''Bla bla blah. If being a cheating motherfucker is the only way you can actually win, so be it.'' Dan raises his voice and gets up in his face, their usual childish ritual every Friday night.
''Oh no, I don't have a dog, I'm more of a cat person. I used to have this-'' the feminine voice from the hallway gets louder, but not loud enough for them to actually notice, not until Nate spots her standing before them with her mouth agape.
''Oh hi-'' Nate greets cheerfully, another figure comes in to picture and he raises a brow ''-hello there.''
''Um, hi.'' The prepped guy says uncertainly. He shifts from one foot to another as he takes in the two guys before him. Blair stands in her original position. If looks could kill, Dan and Nate would be dead and buried…which only makes it that more fun for them.
Dan steps forward, he takes the guy's hand and shakes it firmly, he makes sure to squeeze as much as possible. ''Pleased to meet you, I'm Dan, but you can call me Daniel.''
Nate has to bite the inside of his cheeks not to burst out laughing. Blair on the other side is probably contemplating whether to strangle them with her scarf or the handle of her Prada tote.
''Hi, I'm Romeo.'' He answers, eagerly trying to pull his hand back. He gives Blair an odd look while she offers an apologetic one.
''Romeo? Too bad Blair's more of a Jezebel than Juliet.'' Dan teases further.
''This is Nate, and you should call him just that, Nate.'' Blair cuts in desperately trying to save the situation. Her cheeks are redder than ever and Nate is sure if she bites down on to her lip any harder, it will explode.
''Oh, nice to meet you Nate…and they are?'' he looks over to Blair but Nate answers before she even gets a chance to open her mouth.
''We're her entourage.''
Dan grabs his stomach as a wave of laughter hits him. He sits back to where he was and tries to recover.
''Can I get you something to drink?-'' Blair speaks over the sound of muffled laughter ''Even better, come with me.'' She basically drags him in to the next room and emerges back in a second.
''I am going to strangle you two.'' She hisses angrily. Nate and Dan can barely contain themselves, forever entertained by the situation. ''What the fuck are you even doing here?''
''There, there Blair, that's not the ladylike behavior suitable for someone named Romeo, is it?'' Dan jokes.
''Cut it out Dan-'' Nate turns serious, it gives Blair the slightest track of hope that at least one of them would cooperate ''-I'm sure it took a lot of time to iron out that fancy dress shirt, give the man some credit.'' Nope, she's still alone.
''All right that's it. Both of you out!'' She yells at the top of her lungs. ''Out, out, out.'' She proceeds to grab them by their sleeves, hands, shoulders – whatever- just to move them. Once they're pushed outside of the apartment she gives them one last look just to clarify the intensity of her anger. ''I don't want to see you ever again.'' She pouts adorably and shuts the door in their faces.
It only takes about a second before Nate's voice from the other side speaks ''Pizza and movie tomorrow night at Dan's?''
She leans against the closed door and smirks despite herself. ''I'll bring the beer.''
Nate and Dan share a smile on the other side and slowly start walking back to the aforementioned Dan's place.
''You know she's not going to bring beer, right?'' Nate says with a chuckle.
''Yeah, it'll probably be carrot juice and out of revenge for tonight we'll actually have to drink it.''
''After that kale smoothie I don't think I'll drink anything she brings ever again.''
''Easy for you to say, you're going back in a week, I'll have to stay here and listen to heroic stories about Romeo, of how he saves kittens from shelters and shits gold until it inevitably falls apart and she hates the whole world again.''
Nate smirks ''Enjoy her, she's in a really good place right now.'' He jokes.
''Well if it happens I'll just get her to Skype you, so there.''
''We'll see about that.'' Nate is quiet for a while until an idea crosses his mind. ''Hey, wanna play some soccer, we used to do it like all the time back in New York.''
''Ugh, why the hell not.''
''I bet you'll lose this one too.''
So this is about it. I'm pretty sure some of you are disappointed there is no Dair/Nair endgame in this, I'm sorry for that. But this is the way I envisioned for the story to play out since the very beginning. And I couldn't hold back my Nate/Dan brotp feelings so there's a lot of that too. Please leave a review telling me what you think of the ending, I would really love to know. As of now I am actually taking another turn in the world of Fanfiction and I've decided that I would try writing a Game of thrones fiction next, so if there's any fans keep out for that. This doesn't mean I won't write Gossip Girl or Nair any longer, I will still update my prompt story at least once a month and probably write some more long shots in the future. Sorry for the long text. Till next update,xo L
