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The Changeling in B Minor
The Kalends of May (April 16-30)
It starts like this…well first you have to understand that Uther once married a troll…ah, no Gwaine, that's a story for another time. It's funnier when you see Arthur's face.
Anyways, Uther says, "That Princess Elena, she sure is elegant."
No, wait. I'm getting ahead of myself.
It's my story! I'll tell it how I want.
So it actually starts like this. We spend a week running around in the woods hunting rabbits and fowl, then a new kid in the kitchens vomits all over it so we go out again. And this time, I promise you, Arthur rolls around in the dirt while strangling a hog. And then he tells me he still needs his armor and clothes clean and laundered by the next morning because Lord Godwyn is coming in, and Arthur really was a giant prat in those days…
Maybe I'm getting behind myself… I'll skip ahead… oh ha ha, guys.
On the morning of their arrival Uther wants Arthur to wait in the throne room. So we're all standing on the dais and Uther is talking about how beautiful and smart and elegant and strategic—yes he slips that in there—Princess Elena is, and Arthur is just barely catching on that Uther has an ulterior motive.
I do mean barely. He said, "Godwyn thinks I'm beautiful?" Uther had to spell it out.
And then, of course, the Princess Elena walked in and fell flat on her face.
Lord Godwyn and Uther were all over each other, and Arthur just stood there pale as a sheet. She was kind of cute, but a total and complete mess. Wildest looking princess I'd ever seen. She stood in the middle of the throne room and adjusted her undergarments as if it were any other day.
That's filthy, Percival. Didn't expect that coming from you.
No… hah! Absolutely not. That's not very knightly, guys.
Arthur got us excused from the room after saying something princely. Then he said "Go get the bags, Merlin, or were you planning on gawking at the princess all day? Rah rah rah, I'm the prince. Go away so I can complain to Gwen."
He literally spent the rest of the day in that exact mood. Ordering people around and then sighing mournfully like it was so sad that he couldn't have everything that he wanted. Honestly, he was such a clotpole, I can't believe I've forgotten. He even threw a pillow at me after I tried to cheer him up.
Elena really wasn't so bad, despite the burping and sneezing in Arthur's face, and picking food out of her clothes during feasts. Her mother died when she was young, just like Arthur, and she took to riding in an attempt to get closer to her in spirit. She completely beat Arthur in a horse race, by the way. And it's that trail he rides all the time—the one to the clearing where he has girly picnics with Gwen.
I…I don't know that! I don't want to know that. Ugh. You want to know that?
No, I don't follow him all the time.
Lord Godwyn? I actually didn't see him much. Usually I was around Elena and Arthur, and Arthur was meant to keep her company during the meetings.
Though, I specifically remember wondering how he could be a friend to Uther. They had such different personalities. Lord Godwyn loved his daughter despite her wildness. He let her have her freedom.
Whereas Uther was completely the opposite. I got the impression Arthur had no choice but to marry her.
"When we talk about the future, we're not talking about your happiness."
Perhaps I'm being unfair. But when I think of Uther…
What? Sorry, I drifted off. No, there's more to it than that. There's still the half of the story that I was busy with.
Actually, let me preface with this: If you talk to anyone else about what happened to Grunhilda—that's Elena's nanny—they think she ran away. For all intents and purposes, that's all any of you know.
Oh, I'm being dramatic am I? How do you think Elena would take it if she found out Grunhilda was dead? And not only dead, but turned into a pile of faerie dust? And try this on for size: I caught her catching flies in the forest with a giant purple frog tongue, and sprinkling magic dust on Elena while she slept.
Yes, Grunhilda had magic. To be precise, she was a pixie, and she sprinkled the dust on Elena to help the faerie within her grow. Faerie creatures can infect a human at birth, and while the human matures, so do the Sidhe.
Er…yes I…well Sidhe is the proper name for these types of faeries.
They planned on having Elena marry Arthur and then let the Sidhe escape and rule Camelot. They can live for a thousand years, so a few decades of waiting for their plan…
Ahem…uhm…Gaius said so. He's got a book on it.
In fact, we searched through his books until my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, trying to find a way to save Elena and Arthur from the Sidhe.
Why didn't I go running to Arthur? He had enough on his plate, and as Gaius said, "Merlin, Lord Godwyn is one of Uther's dearest friends. Accusing him of having a Sidhe for a daughter and a pixie for a nurse is not something that can be taken lightly."
So, of course, it was left to me to gather ingredients—
What do you mean, 'For what'? For a potion. Yes, it was obvious. Didn't I just say we were looking through Gaius' books?
The worst was a stamen from a Dropwort flower. It's more rare than a four-leaf clover. The same day Arthur proposed, I had marched for hours through a bog, back and forth, digging around with my hands on the marsh floor, mud nearly up to my chin. Honestly, it must have been uphill the entire time. The things I do for Camelot.
And I got in huge trouble that day! The castle was in an uproar over the impeding nuptials, as Uther demanded an even bigger feast, a new wedding gown to be stitched together in a single day, and Arthur's ceremonial robes prepared…
And throughout it all, I was conspicuously absent while "gathering herbs" for Gaius.
Oddly enough, that had been one of the first times I'd said that and it had been the truth.
Don't even…I do pick herbs for Gaius…I am picking herbs when I say that now, this was years ago—
You are all insufferable. Fine, follow me next time. You can hold the satchel. Besides, I'm no good at lying. I get sweaty and nervous and I start babbling.
Where was I? Oh, right. So after I got the stamen to Gaius he was able to finish the potion that evening, but I was so busy preparing for the wedding with the other servants that I only caught a few glimpses of Arthur and didn't even see Elena. That night, I fell asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. Spying and lying is exhausting work, by the way. Then…ah…well…nothing much happened.
But the next morning was the wedding so we were up at dawn to make the potion—
What? Did I?
I'm not confused…
I didn't lose the first draft! It broke—
Totally not my fault. The circumstances were completely outside of my control! All right, maybe it was partially my fault. Only a tiny bit, though. I am not a klutz, Gwaine…
Can we move past this? I'm getting to the best part.
So we barely have any time left before the wedding. I'm sure Arthur is infuriated I haven't helped him get dressed, but Gaius and I are deep into our plan making. We know Grunhilda is helping Elena into her wedding gown; so sneaking her the potion is out of the question. But… and this is really fantastic… Grunhilda had this massive crush on Gaius. She kept trying to flirt with him, and corner him when they were alone, and we used that to our advantage.
He went to Elena's chambers and told Grunhilda that "I just have to have you right now"—I don't know exactly what he said but that's how I imagined it—and got her to come to the vaults to meet him.
She arrived singing sonnets and dancing down the stairs. "I've been dreaming of this moment!"
Gaius was looking handsome for her, wore a fancy belt and everything.
"At last, we two will be as one."
I know, right? So gross. I don't want to think about it.
Then she tried to kiss him. I suppose Gaius got nervous, because he ran right out of there. I jumped out and locked her in a cell, but her giant frog tongue shot after Gaius. Just imagine it: purple and slimy…mottled with warts…even a few fly wings stuck to it…. And she used it to lick him right across the face.
Hah—It was glorious! His expression after…!
Oh…that's right…he made me promise not to tell. Well, whatever.
We headed for Elena's chambers right away—the castle was quiet and Uther had already begun his opening speech—and…well uhm… I leapt into Elena's room and plugged her nose and poured the potion down her throat.
It knocked her right out while it worked its magic. Er—bad choice of words.
When she woke back up, she asked us where Grunhilda was and I said, "I'll look into it."
Of course she never saw her again.
And that's it! Elena doesn't trust me much on account of attacking her with a draught, but she thinks Gaius is the best physician in Albion.
I tell you all of that and you're concerned about Arthur? You know what happened at the wedding. All of Elena's clumsiness evaporated with the Sidhe, and Arthur called off the wedding to marry for love—as he should have realized from the beginning. Royals. Mad, all of them.
The pixie dust? I think I put it with the other artifacts…oh the Grunhilda dust? I did say she turned to dust didn't I?
She just…turned to dust after Elena drank the potion.
No, that doesn't make much sense does it? But do the specifics truly matter? I mean, all this magic stuff, who has any idea what is going on with that? It was just a bunch of blue people with wings and purple frog tongues and zap! Bam! I'm melting! I don't even understand it myself—
I am not babbling!
So what happened was... Grunhilda escaped the vaults and caught up to Gaius and I in the hallway. I had this…stick…which I grabbed from one of the hall decorations, and I…hit her on the head with it.
Yes, that's what happened.
Then I had a few seconds to pour the potion down Elena's throat—Gaius was coddling her—and the Sidhe burst out and Grunhilda burst in and they blasted magic and I ducked and poof! They were dust.
Now that is a good explanation—I-mean-ending-to-the-story.
Merlin grinned.
Footnotes:
(1) Sidhe is pronounced Shee.
(2) Merlin was attacked by the Sidhe Elder at night, blasted him with his Sidhe staff, but unfortunately the potion was broken in the fight.
(3) After Grunhilda escaped, Merlin fought her in the hallway with the staff and blasted her to dust, then the Sidhe shortly after.
(4) Many other things go on with Arthur/Gwen/Uther/Morgana but Merlin didn't see any of it.
(5) Merlin, of course, took a lot of liberties with the dialogue.
Author's Note:
When I started writing the chapter like this, I really loved it. Then I started to hate it. Tell me how you feel.
I was able to write this all yesterday, as I promised, but I wanted to give it a day to simmer so I could make sure it was even readable.
I don't have much to say about this one. It was a weird experience. Oh, I guess I can mention Merlin actually talking about the magical threat. I feel like some of these small stories can be told now…they don't really cause any harm. Plus, Gwaine has seen Merlin and Gaius 'defeat' the brollachan through 'herbal remedies.' Obviously, Merlin had to skip over the blatant magical fights.
I did have a lot of fun writing Merlin tie himself into knots.
Anyways, next time they are definitely getting to Gawant, and it's Beltane and the first half of the spring finale. Woo!
To my reviewers: Mersan123 and Jewelsmg, really glad I built up to Merlin's telling of the story well enough. I just hope this chapter met your expectations… He at least told more of the story than you expected, yes? Mersan123, yeah, Gwaine does not like those nobles hahha! Thanks again for such consistent reviewing; you're always the first and so you make me extra happy. Jewelsmg, I know—such a short chapter followed by another short chapter! I feel terrible. And as for romance, you're going to be shocked at how many girls I throw at poor Merlin. And of course, eventually they'll be plots with Freya, and Sefa, and Mithian, and Morgana…but it's three years worth of story so you'll have to settle for new characters for now.
Next time: Damsels in Disguise. It's Gwen's side of the story as a standard night of revelry turns into something quite different…
