Continuing self-insert into Winter 2019's most polarizing anime.

Finger Count: 9/10

Let's try not to die.


Epic 8: The Discovery


After a... satisfactory dinner, me and my whole party continue our exploration around [The Archive], skimming through various texts and notes (me mostly, forgot that the twins are illiterate), and hunting for useful items.

So far, my prior knowledge of this world have been expanded.

For example, I've already known that there were Filolial variants via color of their plumage, but now I know that each color seems to correlate different behaviors.

The [Red Filolial], in particular, caught my attention.

"... A complete tsundere if I've ever seen one." I remarked. "At least they're not as bad as the [Black Filolials]."

Seriously, I really didn't need to know that they were known to kill their owners if they weren't fed enough, let alone the fact that they need to eat twice as much as a regular Filolial.

I look at the [Clock] on my HUD, currently reading 9:48 PM.

"... Wanna call it a night, Grimm?" I spoke to the [Enigmatic Tome].

"You want me to absorb all of the knowledge while you're out?" He asked.

"Appreciated, but no." I replied. "Last thing I need first thing in the morning is another info-dump."

"Fair enough." Grimm replied. "See you tomorrow."

The tome then closes itself as it wraps its chains around my arm.

I then head towards where the rest my party was at, seeing them sleeping on hammocks.

I then take a whiff of my own breath... and it smells like it came out of my ass.

"Umm... Mr. Butler?" I called out.

"To what pleasure may I owe you this evening?" The albino butler asked.

"Does this place have any form of oral hygiene?" I asked.

"This way, then." He then grabs me by my wrist and guides me towards elsewhere.

"Here we are."

... All I saw were piles of literal rock salt reaching the ceiling.

"Baking soda can be dispensed from there, Mr. Nan." The butler gestured towards a machine that looked like a meat grinder.

"... Beggars can't be choosers." I grumbled out.

"Then here you go." The homunculus butler hands me a hammer and chisel.

I chip off a block of raw rock salt and toss that sucker into the machine.

The machine then disperses a small pile of baking soda, which I would make a cocaine joke about it, but hey, priorities.

I then dab my finger into the white pile and begins rubbing the finger into my teeth like a madman.

One brushing teeth later...

"Heading to bed!" I called out after finishing rinsing.

"See you next morrow, good sir." The butler then heads out the door from the hammock room.

"Oh and don't worry!" I called out from the door. "I'll give you a really cool name soon! Just give me some time to think it over!"

"Understood."

With that said, I set myself on the suspended netting and head to sleep.

... I get the distinct feeling that I might fall onto the hard flooring when I wake up, but I'll deal with that when I get to it.

Switching POV, nee-Darnic:

The butler, being a [Homunculus], doesn't require food or rest in order to function.

In fact, he's been dusting the [Archive] since the previous [Tome Hero]'s untimely passing.

Upon finishing washing the plates, cleaning the floors, and locking all the doors, the butler heads towards the nexus.

The butler types the password into the counsel and begins to browse over the files.

He then clicks on the file labeled [The Lost Heroes].

[The Lost Heroes]

During my research for the [Four Cardinal Heroes] and the [Seven Star Heroes], I've come across a rather... peculiar finding.

A faded tablet, as shown here, depicts a [Dagger], [Musket], [Staff], [Mace], and weirdly enough, a [Tome].

Coincidence?

Normally, I would consider it, but considering the kind of world that I've ended up in, I can no longer vouch for it.

Anywho, this confirms that I'm not the only one that's an oddity.

Something, or someone, must've tried to get rid of these records for a reason, and henceforth, me.

For now, I shall label these findings as [The Lost Heroes].

And eventually, I shall find them, and with them, I-eventually-we, will make this world right.

If I don't, well, then call me crazy, but not really considering what I've said previously, but I hope someone is hearing this and they take my words into heart.

This is the [Tome Hero], signing off.

"Hmm..." The butler pondered. "The [Lost Heroes]... Should I tell the current [Tome Hero] about this?"

The Butler looks at the recording the nexus was projecting.

"Master..." He spoke to the projected face of the [Tome Hero] while slinging his jacket over his shoulders.

"... What should I do?"

Switching POV, back to 1st-Person:

I slowly open my eyes, with the first thing that I look at being my [Clock].

"... 6:29 AM?" I yawned out while scrambling out of my hammock.

And by that, I mean I fell onto my side.

"Ugh..." I groaned out while stumbling towards the salt dispenser to get my daily oral hygiene.

Behind me, two more sounds of tumbling were heard behind me.

"Mornin'." I called out.

The two demi-humans come out of the bedroom, rubbing their eyes and yawning.

"Hey Nan..." Garou yawned out. "Where you goin'?

"Brushing my teeth." I remarked. "By the way, you two, come with me."

The two then follow me with out question.

"Alright." I said while putting a block of salt into the dispenser. "Now this is how you clean your teeth."

I then do the same thing that I did last night in front of the two.

"Now..." I then rinse out my teeth of the salty taste in my mouth. "Your turn."

"But why?" Garou asked.

"Because if you don't, your teeth will turn black and fall off the gums, and said gums will rot and start bleeding."

... Okay. I've might've exaggerated a few details, but the fact that they're buying it (as evident by them covering their mouths in fear), I'd say that its a job well done.

"W-We don't want that!" Fubuki yipped out as her tail shot straight up.

Garou nods in agreement still coverings his mouth with his hands.

"Then shut up and get to it." I responded. "I'll help along the way."

Surprisingly, I didn't lose any fingers. Good on me.

"Remember, twice a day." I speak out. "Preferably around before breakfast and after dinner."

Speaking of which, I hear the sounds of eggs crackling all the way from the kitchen.

"You two go ahead." I stated.

I then slowly walk behind them, contemplating the loss of my thumb.

"I need to finish the fetch quest by today..." I mumbled out, thinking that I can't take it anymore.

With that in mind, I head towards the direction where the eggs were coming from.

One Breakfast Later...

"Killer job, Mr. Butler." I complemented the butler's bacon & tomato scrambled eggs.

"Much obliged." The butler responded while carrying the plates away from the table.

I watched the two demi-humans eat their third helping of the eggs, and they don't seem to be notice that they're eating tomatoes.

... For now, at least.

Bodily functions tend to be hidden withing the subconscious much to the living's dismay-

I then turn my head to see Garou and Fubuki vomiting on the kitchen floor.

... Yep, they can only eat protein.

"Mr. Butler!" I cried out while getting up from my chair and heading towards the two.

The butler then shows up with three buckets and a mop.

"Okay..." I stated. "... Maybe restrict the two to a pure-protein diet."

The butler nods while handing the two the buckets.

"Well..." I sighed out. "Can't get any worse-"

The fox-girl then faints on my shoulder, with her head hot as a furnace.

"Oh shit! Fubuki!" I then pick her up...

... With blood dripping between her legs.

"... Well at least it ain't malaria." I muttered out while taking note that Fubuki is technically a six-year-old with a body of an young adult.

Of course the physical/chronological dissonance was going to fuck up brain and its system.

How the hell did I not notice that in the first place!? Fuck!

A first period aside, two things are pivotal issues right now.

One, I'm down a party member, both if Garou's sibling instincts kick in.

And considering that those two are so closely-attached towards each other that it would make Siamese Twins look like they were in separate rooms, its guaranteed.

Also the fact they're twins.

Two, I never dealt with a period before, and no, reading medical texts and manga does not count.

I have a younger brother back home, and last time I checked, my family consists of a 3/4 male ratio, so tough shit.

Worst case scenario?

"I'm gonna have to go solo..." I realized.

The butler then carries the two out of the dining hall, finished cleaning up the bile.

With a sigh, I then steel myself for my potential solo run in my very first fetch quest.

... All for a friggin prosthetic.

"Well Grimm..." I stated. "Guess its back to a party of two like day 1 for today, eh?"

The tome then uncoils my arm and faces me.

"Yeah..." He replied. "Hope she's okay..."

"She will." I replied. "Trust me, we raised them both, remember?"

The tome nods.

"Alright then..." I then head towards the butler walking back. "Mr. Butler?"

"How may I have you?" He asked.

"Get my gear." I stated. "For today, me and Grimm are going hunting."

"Understood." He then heads towards one of the many rooms, and comes back out with freshly-cleaned [Equipment].

"Thanks." I stated while putting my gear over the white clothes that the [Archive] provided.

"Oh and before you go..."

He then takes off his glove and places his bare hand onto Grimm's eye.

"[Perfected Homunculus] added to [Summon]." My HUD messaged.

"It's dangerous to go alone, so please take it with you." He stated.

"Awesome." I stated. "Now how do I get out of here? Need to be where the materials are at."

"This way." He then guides me towards the central nexus.

I then see a circular slot at the center of the main counsel's control.

"Connecting the two and two together..."

I then place the [Portable Dragon's Hourglass] on it, with the sand glowing in a translucent hue of sky-blue before my HUD sends me an update.

"[Intersection-Melromarc] and [Archive] added to [Teleport-Beacon]." The message read.

"I figure you know the rest?" The butler stated.

"Give me a shopping list and a [Map]." I requested. "Need something to go on with."

"Then please, place the [Enigmatic Tome] here." He stated pointing towards the main control.

The point of light then shines onto Grimm's eye.

"[Map] Skill, added." My HUD stated.

"Sorry bout that, Grimm." I stated.

"Eh, could've been worse." He replied.

"Okay then..." I sighed out. "... How do I use teleport-"

I then press onto the mini-hourglass, with a *click* sound heard from it.

On my HUD, a list shows up, showing me all the [Teleport-Beacon] locations.

"[Intersection], right?" I asked out loud.

"Precisely." The butler stated. "Head West towards the [Jade Forest], and you'll find what you need there."

"Difficulty? I asked.

"Levels 10-14 average." He answered. "And considering your current level..."

He then looks at me with a blank expression.

"... Please do not level the entire forest." He stated. "The local ecosystem has a rather... fragile balance maintaining the fauna and flora."

"Understood." I stated while acknowledging [Intersection]. "See you in a bit."

"Safe trip and happy hunting."

Me and Grimm [Teleport].

Next stop, [Intersection-Melromarc]...

One [Teleport] later...

I land hard on the dirt, with my ass taking the most beating.

"Ow ow ow..." I grunted, "Of course there's no such thing as soft landings here..."

"Nah." Grimm voiced out. "It's just that you have the reflexes that of a limp dog." He snarked out.

"Oh piss off." I grunted out as I slowly stood back up. "... Bloody hell, why did I thought that this was going to be a cakewalk?"

Mainly due to the fact that I just saw Itsuki's ugly mug through the thicket.

How do I know?

Well it's not the fact that I saw the [Bow Hero] himself, but rather the 250lb-pile of metal that's always next to the guy like a fucking remora.

"Fucking Mald..."

... I'll kill him at my leisure.

Until then, I then head West, which, much to my dismay, was also the same direction that Itsuki was heading.

I then spot one of my [Bird Eye]s, which then signals me Itsuki's stat sheet as it perches on my shoulder.

Name: [Itsuki Kawasami]

Class: [Bow Hero]

Level: 16

Affinities: [Earth]

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Equipment: [Legendary Bow], [Ranger's Tunic], [Hunter's Medallion]

Attack: 15 (+10)

Defense: 11 (+5)

Agility: 19 (+10)

Luck: 20 (+5)

HP: 160 (+10)

MP: 200(+10)

"Good bird."

I'll take that he and his party are heading to the [Jade Forest] to level-grind.

I'll avoid contact, out of the kindness of my heart.

Shame if something happened if I didn't.

I then spot them head Southwest, so I head Northwest to start my fetch quest.

"So..." I then take out my shopping list. "2 [Iron Ore], 2 [Spider Silk], and 1 [Intermediate Magic Ore]..."

I'm stocked to the brim with [Iron Ore], so I can check that off of my list, so that leaves...

"... Spiders." I shudder.

"Ya afraid of them?" Grimm asked.

"If they are each the size of a five-year-old, then yes." I bluntly respond.

Darkest Dungeon, do not fuck me over now. I remember losing a Highwayman to a [Spitter], and last time I've checked, I do not need to be in Dismas's boots.

Sure, level 10-14 average my ass. Like I said before, levels and stats matter not when your veins are on fire.

Worst of all, I don't have any ways to repel status aliments. But its too late for that.

"There's one." I then see a spider big as a dining table devouring a human body.

"Poor bastard..." I then [Analyze] the big-ass spider.

Name: [Blood Spider]

Class: [Common Encounter]

Level: 13

Affinities: [Fire]

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Item Drops: [Spider Silk x2] (70%)

Attack: 13

Defense: 9

Agility: 14

Luck: 2

HP: 130

MP: 30

"... You know, I can kinda see why the corpse looks... a little shriveled up." I remarked as I've realized that the fucker is a hematophage.

Real-life spiders tend to stuff your insides with their venom so that they can liquidate it before sucking the prey up like a dude-smoothie.

"Aim for the head, then." Grimm stated. "If you don't want to attract a swarm or get close to it, then bring it towards you."

"Good call." I then ready Grimm. "Ya ready?"

I then hear him clash his teeth together.

"Alright." I then begin to swing the [Enigmatic Tome] over my head in a circle.

"Here we go!"

I let loose Grimm towards the [Blood Spider].

"[Bite]!"

Grimm then chomps onto the spider's head, trapping it in a vice-grip between it teeth.

I then quickly drag it back towards where I was standing, and to deliver the coup de grâce.

*SPLAT*

I then see blood splattered all over my left leg upon my right foot stamping Grimm's metal cover.

"... Really man?" He mumbled out beneath by foot.

"Sorry." I apologized. "Happened at the heat of the moment."

"Then cool your friggin' stove man." He stated while devouring the fallen [Blood Spider].

"[Spider Silk x2] added." My HUD messaged.

And that just leaves with [Intermediate Magic Ore].

"Vaminos!" I hoot out as we head deeper into the thickets, while avoiding Itsuki's 6-man party along the way.

The party then heads into a clearing, where they run into a herd of slime-like monsters.

"[Analyze]."

Name: [Green Slime]

Class: [Common Encounter]

Level: 10

Affinities: [Earth]

Alignment: True Neutral

Item Drops: [Intermediate Magic Ore] (10%), [Adhesive Resin] (90%)

Attack: 13

Defense: 5

Agility: 19

Luck: 0

HP: 150

MP: 10

Normally, I wouldn't feel bad for those buggers getting popped like water balloons, but back home, I've watched all of Reincarnated as a Slime.

Now, I'm just feeling bad for them, doubly so when Mald begins to slaughter them in herds with his [Steel Halberd].

... Later.

Then amidst the slime, dust, and carnage, I then spot something glimmering within it.

... An [Intermediate Magic Ore].

"Grimm." I whispered out. "You think you can make it?"

"While keeping up our cover?" He replied. "Fat chance."

With a slight grumble, I then switch my [Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained] title to [Wayward Hero] title.

"Grimm, one last thing."

"Yeah?" He asked.

I sigh out once more.

"Remind me not to kill them."

I then stretch out my right, four-fingered, hand.

"... [Dritte-Fireball]."

A massive blast of fire shoots out of my hand, causing the entire clearing to be set ablaze.

Now's our chance.

"RUN!" I then dash towards the kicked-up dust cloud, making a mad dash towards the [Intermediate Magic Ore].

"GOT ONE!" Grimm spoke out.

"[Intermediate Magic Ore x3] added." My HUD messaged.

"[Air Strike Shot]!"

... Bugger.

The dust cloud clears up, revealing the [Bow Hero] in all of his glory.

With our eyes connecting towards each other.

Lovely.

... I'm being sarcastic, as you can tell.

Itsuki

With great power comes with great (ir)responsibility

No shit, Sherlock.

"So!" I yelled out while trying to keep face. "How may I help you sorry lot today!?"

"SILENCE, YOU CUR!" The armored bastard roared out from the back.

Mald

Just here for blood and fun

"WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" He continued on. "YOU'VE KILLED MY BROTHER BACK AT HIS FIRST DEPLOYMENT AT THE MAGIC SHOP!"

That explains the slight resemblance ("You jagoffs all look the same, so bite me.).

"Hold on..." I stall out. "... Mass-murder is actually a crime?" I stated in an overly-sarcastic and hammy-evil tone.

"You honestly think this is the time for jokes!?" Itsuki growled out.

He then winds back his bowstring with an arrow nocked on it.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE A HERO!" Itsuki stated in an indignant tone. "INSTEAD, YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THEN A SCUM LIKE NAOFUMI!"

... Okay, crossed a line there, brah.

"[Freeze Arrow]!"His arrow then fires out a cold-infused arrowhead.

"[Full Coating]."

The rainbow-colored veil then deflects the elemental arrow back at him, encasing the poor, misguided fuck in an icicle.

"... Whoa, that was a close one."

I'm not referring to the fact that I've almost got shot, but rather the fact that I didn't kill Itsuki in one go.

Seeing their hero encased in ice, the other five then try to make their counteroffensive.

"[Heavy Swing]!" The armored fuck then swings down his polearm towards me.

"[Nil Coating]."

The strike then rebounds off of my monochrome veil, sending the bastard flying back towards the icicle, breaking through and freeing Itsuki.

"... That was another close call." I winced upon seeing that Itsuki's health bar just hitting a single number below 10.

The others then resume their offense.

"[Zweit-Thunderbolt]!"

"[Zweit-Fireball]!"

"[Zweit-Wind Blast]!"

"[Zweit-Aqua Cannon]!"

... Nothing came of it, much to their shock.

Thank you, [Anti-Zweit]. Now it's my turn to be a badass.

"... My turn." I then open Grimm's pages.

Time to try it out, shall we?

"[Summon]..."

"Wait, [Summon]?" I heard Itsuki's voice.

"... [Perfected Homunculus]."

A magic circle appears right in front of me. And out of it came out an albino humanoid looking like a perfect carbon-copy of the butler back at the [Archive].

"Master, your orders."

I sigh out in exasperation.

"Try not to kill them." I ordered.

The [Perfected Homunculus] then shapeshifts into an albino-me.

"Understood."

The albino-me then speeds towards the [Bow Hero]'s party.

"[Shocktouch]."

"And that's my cue to leave." I stated over the agonized screams of those poor bastards being grilled from the inside.

The [Perfected Homunculus] then returns to my side after a few seconds of neutralization.

"I take it that they're still alive?" I asked.

"All of their brainwaves are still present, although two of their hearts appeared to be stopped."

... Didn't need to know that.

+50,000 EXP

"Okay, that is just bull." I then click the hourglass and GTFO of the [Jade Forest].

Switching POV, Itsuki:

His body felt hot and cold at the same time, as if an entire sun was dropped onto him while he was laid nude on the polar ice caps.

Around him, his entire party, while miraculously alive, were still badly hurt and traumatized.

"Nan's no criminal..." Itsuki thought.

He then recalls a certain albino back in his school years who had the ability to rebound anything that came towards him.

The two then begin to blend together into one being.

"... He's a fucking monster."

Switching POV, 1st Person:

"We're home!" I called out. "And only a single clearing of the [Jade Forest] got glassed/nuked!"

"Do you have the materials?" The butler asked.

Grimm then spits the raw materials down onto the floor.

"... Appreciated, but I just mopped the floors while you were gone." The butler spoke out while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry." Grimm spoke out.

"Regardless..." The butler stated while picking up the materials off the floor. "... The prosthetic shall be done by this evening."

"Thanks." I spoke out.

With that said, I then head to where Garou and Fubuki were.

"How is she?" I asked Garou.

"Fever's stopped." He responded. "Also, she's stopped bleeding."

The fox-girl was sleeping soundly, with the signs of the struggle, now long-past.

"You wanna keep watching your sister, or do you want to explore this place around for a bit more?" I asked.

"I'll stay." He responded.

"I'll tell you when lunch starts, alright?"

With that, I then continue where I left off last night.

"The damn chest..." I looked down at the metal crate fallen from the bookshelf.

I try to force the lid to open, but no dice.

... At least on the physical part.

"Oi..." I spoke out. "... Is that a keyhole?"

"When there's a keyhole..."

"There's always a key..."

The two of us then scramble.

"Key, key, key..." I muttered out as I looked through every nook and cranny. "Just where the hell is it?"

"Hey!" Grimm called out. "I think I found something!"

He then brings me a massive ring of keys hooked around his teeth.

And my massive, I meant...

"... I get a feeling that that isn't the only chest around here."

"[Key Ring] added to [Key Items]." My HUD messaged.

Seriously, I think my brain stopped counting after 100. And that's not counting the rest that are wrapped around his metallic hula hoop.

On the plus side, at least I got until dinner.

About 9 days reaching worst-case-scenario.

"Just stop pondering and get to it." Grimm stated.

Luck 23, do not fail me now...

At around 10:39 AM, I begin my obligatory puzzle-solving.

"This is just a keyhole, how hard can it be-"

[I immediately regret what I just said.]

8 hours and roughly 1,073 keys later...

"Okay..." I heaved out from exhaustion and malnutrition. "Last... one..."

*click*

"..."

My thoughts were completely blank.

... For a second, I thought that I was going to cry out blood from my eyelids after I was done sweating out a quarter pint of blood.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

I turn the key, and bust the motherfucker open.

"IT BETTER BE GOOD!"

The boxes contents were... odd.

Not disappointing, nor surprising, but just... odd.

"... Oi." Grimm spoke out. "What the fuck is that thing?"

"... An MP3 player." I droned out, completely burnt out from my own anger upon my own stupidity.

I swear, if was holding the [Wrath Shield #3] right now, I would've probably set the whole [Archive] on fire in a heartbeat.

"Okay..." I sighed out. "What the fuck does this do?"

I then feel something rustling underneath the MP3 player.

"... It's another note, isn't it?"

I then flip the player around and find a note taped onto it.

Where the hell's the guy getting all the tapes?

Try putting this into the [Enigmatic Tome]!

P.S., I hope you like Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osborne, and whatever shit that came before the year 2006. And yes, that includes Smash Mouth.

Also, fuck Justin Bieber.

... Omigod. My predecessor came around before mainstream rap was a thing.

"So the note says to put this into ya..."

I then place the MP3 on Grimm's cover.

"[Playlist: Adrenaline Rush], added."

... Did I just unwittingly install an OST list into my own brain?

"... Awesome as that sounds, I get the feeling that I'm only going to use this sparingly-"

"Now playing [Thunderstruck] by ACDC."

Ques que fuck?

Then said music comes blaring out of Grimm's pages like an amplifier at a death metal concert.

"AAHHH! AGGH!"

"NAN!" Fubuki screamed over the music with her ears shut. "TURN IT OFF!"

I then see a "pause" button on my HUD and press it.

"... Okay." Fubuki heaved out. "... I'll be at the showers."

I then give her a thumbs-up before looking back at the chest.

"So to paraphrase, I've literally wasted the last 8 hours for a goddamn playlist." I bit out.

"You mad, brah?" Grimm voiced out.

"Very."

I then punt the silver trunk away from me.

... Only to forget that shit was heavy enough to give me a concussion, which then ends up me rebreaking my freshly-regrown toenails upon impact.

I thrash around and trip over the chest amidst my hopping.

"... Fuck." I bit out in pain.

"Oi..." Grimm called out.

"... What?"

I then turn to see that the chest spilled out a few leaves of papers.

... 10 bucks says that they're [Scrolls].

I then scramble towards the spill and pick out one leaf.

Ingredients to make an [Effigy]

"... [Effigy]?" I spoke out right before I read it.

[Human Flesh x20]

[Advanced Magic Ore x1]

[Crafting Clay x50]

"... Okay." I said. "Just what the hell does an [Effigy] do?"

"Check the other papers then." Grimm suggested.

I then take all of the papers and saw numbers on their upper-right-hand corners.

Page numbers.

I then put them in order and begin reading them.

[Day 1]

I've managed to acquire information regarding this scroll that I've found in the [Archive]'s basements.

Rumors allegedly state that the [Effigy] are part of the [Cursed Items] that have the ability to control life itself.

The indigenous tribesmen informed me that the sample item is hidden away in the temple roughly 15 miles Southwest.

I just hope that the fauna or the flora don't end up killing me, because on my way, I saw a few bodies lying around.

"... I smell Amazon." I pointed out.

"Keep reading."

[Day 2]

Almost died back there.

Sample [Effigy] remains intact, all four limbs are present, and only got bitten once.

Don't know what bit me, but really didn't have the time to even consider.

Planning to return to the [Archive] as soon as possible.

[Day 3]

I've successful translated the scroll that I had with me.

[Effigy]s are items that can copy and store a person's life force via as a stand-in.

I theorize that they work like voodoo dolls, but later.

I'm feeling a little woozy.

"Death flag." I pointed out.

The tome nods.

[Day 4]

At last, I've finally figured out what the [Effigy] is made of.

[Human Flesh], [Advanced Magic Ore], and [Crafting Clay].

The latter two, I can easily find them at a general store in any town or kingdom (Note: [Advanced Magic Ore] does not come for cheap; about 10,000 gold each)

Former?

... I regret not letting them die in my hands.

[Day 5]

So far-

All that existed afterwards was a streak of black with a dot of red at the end of the vector.

"... That was how the previous [Tome Hero] met his end..." I realized.

"He was too much of a workaholic to even treat his own bite..." Grimm stated. "You know that whole poison-immunity shtick that you been yipping of for the past week?"

"Yeah. I got my work cut out for me..." I grimly stated.

Better start with the following three;

A) Get this world's equivalent of Esuna

B) Start learning how to brew my own [Health Potions] and [Mana Potions]

C) Get Naofumi's good graces and subscribe to his wares

It would be most ideal if I managed to check all three.

"Well, at least I learned what's what." I stated.

"Agreed." Grimm stated. "And by the way, dinner just started."

"... Aw crapbaskets."

I then dash towards the dining room, where I smell steak and way too much meat.

The two demi-humans were inhaling their food, I had a few servings before the whole table was clean.

Next time I take them out for level-grinding, its gonna be a kill & grill spree.

And so, for the next 8 days, Nan's whole party goes out to cap their levels/go on the world's most badass kill & grill tour.

And like badasses, they will eat it all raw.

[Day 1]

"HOLY SHIT, RUN!"

Me and my party run like hell upon seeing an actual [Manticore] coming after our asses.

It swung its stinger tail at us, slinging its kitchen-knife-sized quills at us.

A few hit the tree that was next to me, lodging it in like an axe to timber.

"NAN!"

I then turn my head so see Fubuki tripped over.

"HANG ON, I'M COMING!"

... Bad move.

A quill goes through my right eye, nearly missing my brain and spine, and coming out behind my right ear.

... You know, the first time I lost a limb, it hurt like hell.

Now?

Too angry to feel anything.

Only thing I remember doing?

Stabbing through the [Manticore]'s throat with its own quill and my brand-new prosthetic thumb-switchblade and adding it to my [Summon] upon being too wounded to even move.

I then try to eat my lost eyeball like Xiahou Dun did, but I stopped myself upon realizing that the quill was poisoned.

"... Grimm, why am I not dying?" I asked while standing like an idiot high on pot.

"Dunno, and don't question it."

No spinal fluid, let alone, blood, was lost.

"Thank you, luck 23..."

[Day 2]

Upon my miraculous survival against a level 39 [Manticore] (didn't know until now; also whole party leveled up like crazy/3 levels), me and my party head on our way through the mountain borders that is soon to be burnt down after the second wave (you know which one), with Fubuki apologizing along the way.

"Hey." I spoke to the quivering fox-girl. "You can feel guilty after I croak."

Never in my life, that I thought that I had to wear an eyepatch.

Garou then jabs me hard in the shoulder.

"... I deserved that." I stated.

Garou huffs in response.

"Look alive, kiddies." Grimm spoke out.

Beyond the stony hills, my whole party sees an entire village of [Trolls].

"Wait..." I said. "If this is a village fringes, then...!"

I quickly turn around and see a hatchet-wielding [Troll] upon me, and kick it away by digging me heel into its chest area where the valves to its lungs are connected.

"[Bird Eyes], start scanning everything."

The birds in the nearby forest then begin to fly overhead of the village, [Auto-Scanning] everything and relaying me the info.

"[Troll Berserker], [Troll Defender], [Troll Shaman], and [Troll Chieftain]." I listed. "Hopefully, they haven't spotted us-"

I then hear a horn blowing above our heads.

... Crap, I forgot that all villages had watchtowers to watch for potential intruders.

"You were saying?" Garou then raised his fists.

Me and the rest of the party get ready.

"I just hope the [Trolls] are edible..."

[Day 3]

Nope, [Trolls] tasted like old leather that got shat on by seagulls.

On the plus side, raiding their village did get us all four [Troll Variants] added to my [Summon] list ([Troll Chieftain] was around level 36, almost got TPKed from its signature move, [Rampage]), Fubuki's gotten a new [Mana Medallion] from a level 31 [Troll Shaman] that she killed all on her own, and Garou's gotten himself a [Primal Claws] as his new fisticuffs weapon from a level 34 [Troll Berserker].

... What a friggin' day.

Then on our way back to Melromarc (much to my dismay, but need to pick up Garou's custom orders), we run into a group of bandits.

"Heh heh heh..." The typical bandit jargon. "Hand over those two and the rest of your shit and we won't harm ya-"

"[Summon-Manticore]."

The human-faced lion with a red stinger tail appears our of Grimm's pages, right before it roars before the level 19-average [Bandit Horde].

Over a half of them either faint or piss themselves in sheer horror.

"[Threatening Roar] Skill learned." My HUD messaged.

Let's try that out.

"You two, cover your ears."

The two then press their animal ears on their heads.

I then suck in a breath of air.

"[Threatening Roar]!"

A lion-like roar echoes throughout the whole forest as it resonates out from my very own tongue.

Best of all, I think the plaque between my teeth are now all gone. Oh and the fact that now all of then bandits are all now dead on their feet, provided if they haven't killed themselves out of sheer terror.

Back to looting. Need some gold to tip the smith with, after all.

[Day 4]

"[Summon-Troll Chieftain]!"

A massive green-skinned, brutish, tattooed, hulking humanoid wielding a massive warhammer fashioned from a massive, eagle-like skull, a tower shield fashioned from a whole ribcage and a mammoth's skull comes out from Grimm's pages.

"To what may I owe you today, my new master?" The [Troll Chieftain] speaks out in a surprisingly suave and smooth voice (Kyle Herbert as Fredrick from FE Awakening).

"Holy shit!" I yipe out. "You can talk!?"

"Dude." Grimm stated. "You didn't know that you can communicate with your [Summons]?"

I facepalm upon not realizing it in the first place, and foolish to assume that only [Perfected Homunculus] could talk only because of its programming.

"... Alright, everyone, out."

I then summon my entire roster from my [Summon] list.

You know, I would feel like a 100lb slab of concrete was tied on top of my head upon using that much mana, but surprisingly, I feel fine.

"Guess mana costs only apply to temporary summons..." I mutter to myself right before facing my extended party/family.

[Garou], [Fubuki], [Grimm] ([Party] members), [Metal Balloons], [Bird Eyes], [Purple Balloons], [Failed Homunculus Types A-C], [Perfected Homunculus], [Manticore], [Troll Berserker], [Troll Defender], [Troll Shaman], and [Troll Chieftain] (my [Summons]) sit around me, as if I'm their new tribe boss.

"So..." I start out awkwardly. "... Sorry for not talking to y'all sooner."

The [Metal Balloons] hop up and down, as they were trying to lift my spirits.

"... Human master... sorry if I took... eye." The [Manticore] apologized.

"Nah, it's alright." I stated. "At least I now have room for improvement."

There better be an magical prosthetic eye, or I'm burning down a village.

"So..." I continued on with the social grace of a withdrawn alcoholic. "... What now?"

My party and [Summons] all exchange blank looks to each other.

"... Keep level-grinding?" I suggested/broke the silence.

The whole group in front of me nods in agreement.

"... And while at it." I continued. "... Methinks that adding more [Encounters] to the [Summon] list might do us all a huge favor."

I then extend my finger-gun and cast [Dritte-Fireball] towards the [Shadow] that was about to take a potshot at me.

+2,000 EXP

"Yeah, this is getting lame." I mutter out. "Alright y'all."

I then jump down from the rock that I was standing on.

"Leave none of them alive."

Garou then brandishes his brand-new [Katars] with the [Primal Claws] as extensions and heads towards the nearest downed [Shadow] that he can find.

... I'm surprised that after all this crap, the whole forest around us didn't get burnt to cinders.

Only half of it was smoldering black.

"... Best kill & grill ever." I smiled as the king's personal [Shadows] were being hunted down by my [Summons] like the dogs that they are.

As you can see, this is actually my very first kill & grill.

Before I got whisked away into this hellhole? I'm a fucking Cali.

[Day 5]

"... Well this place looks awfully familiar."

I swear, it's the exact village where Motoyasu's little "heroism" essentially turns this place into Poison Ivy's backyard.

"... I might want to place a [Beacon] here."

I then set down my [Portable Dragon's Hourglass], and a magic circle is formed right underneath it.

"[Southwest Village], added to [Teleport]." My HUD messaged.

"Umm, pardon..."

I then look behind me and see an elderly man on a walking cane approach me.

"Oh, excuse me."

I then make way for the old man.

"Pray tell, what brings you and your companions here to our village?" He asked.

"Nothing." I replied. "Just a vagabond and company."

"Oh, a wanderer." He stated. "Well, perhaps we can offer you something for your travels?"

"Three goatskins of drinking water." I requested.

"Well, this way then." The elder said. "We don't have much to eat, but water is in surplus."

... Oh right, famine.

Me and my party head into the gates to get our supplies.

"Hang in there, ya hear?" I said to them.

"Take care now."

Poor bastards...

... I'll do what I can later. But for now, I got a smear campaign to plan.

[Day 6]

"Oh dear." I speak out.

"Nan, what is it?" Fubuki asked.

"Look down."

Beneath our feet was a massive, three-pronged footprint, that is ripped straight from Jurassic Park.

"... Goddammit."

"[Dragon Village] added to [Teleport]." My HUD announced.

"Okay, new plan." I stated. "50 [Bird Eyes] head to [Southwest Village] and scout out the whole damn place and holler if the [Spear Hero] comes by with a seed-like item, alright?"

The 50 then fly out of Grimm's pages and fly Southwest.

"As for another 50..." I continued on. "Stay here and watch over [Gaelion]. If the [Sword Hero] comes by with the intent to murder the damn dragon, then holler, I'll be there."

The other 50 then fly towards where the dragon's nest was, unable to be detected without being spotted (because dodgetanks are the best kind of tanks).

"The only one who going to lay their greasy little hands on them, is me." I muttered as I went elsewhere.

I'll come for her, later.

Until then?

I got bigger fish to fry.

[Day 7]

"... In hindsight, this may have been a terrible idea."

"YOU THINK!?" My three other party member cried out over the [Roc]'s ear-piercing screech directed towards us.

For context, this is the [Roc]'s stats.

Name: [Roc]

Class: [Rare Encounter]

Level: 40

Affinities: [Earth] & [Wind]

Alignment: True Neutral

Item Drops: [Adamantium] (30%), [Advanced Magic Ore] (50%), [Mark of the Apex Predator] (5%)

Attack: 45

Defense: 50

Agility: 40

Luck: 0

HP: 500

MP: 150

... By the way, the whole party is around level 38 average.

Doesn't change the fact that the overgrown feather-rat can easily swallow the four of us, whole, at the same time.

Also, can't forget to mention its beak. That shit pecked through a mountain peak to build its next.

How do I know?

Because we're in it.

"... Sometimes, I hate myself."

"Well it's gonna get worse if that thing start to take air-"

The massive, B-52-sized eagle then takes air.

... Idea.

"GRIMM!" I yelled out. "GRAB ONTO IT!"

"Welp, I can't think of anything else!" He remarked. "Grab on!"

The tome then shoots out its chain and bites down onto the [Roc]'s wing.

"GOING UUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

... I've might've pissed myself.

Oh, and I just realized something.

The temporary [Roc] that we flew out of Melromarc?

... I think this is his mother that we're currently riding on.

"Well, at least her chicks are fully grown and able to fly on their own." I pointed out as the big bird performs a barrel roll.

... No, not the one from Starfox (that is an aileron roll).

I mean an actual barrel roll.

I was both no longer disregarding two things.

One, my urges to not scream like a little bitch.

And two, my urge to hurl out my lunch.

... Thankfully, it didn't hit my face. Doesn't change the fact that I'm clinging onto her back for my dear life.

"Fuck it." I then cast a learned Skill.

"From the [Manticore]..."

A sharp black rod forms into my hand.

I then search for a gap in its rocky skin covered by her mattress-sized feathers.

"Got one!"

I then plunge the [Poison Stinger] into the gap.

I'm still surprised that I even survived getting shot by that thorough the eye.

"... Hopefully this time, my luck holds out."

I then hear and feel, a massive *THUD*.

"... By the way, it crashed on another mountain." Grimm stated. "[Negotiate], or we all die from falling 3,000 from the air."

"ON IT!" I then activate [Negotiate] like my life depended on it.

[You there...]

... Hello Cetrion/Mary Elizabeth McGlynn.

[Just what is your quarrel with an old hag like me?]

"I want you to join my party." I stated firmly.

[And what is your reason to do so, little one?]

"I need allies." I replied. "I need allies in order to fight the [Wave] and the whole world that is against me."

[Pah, the [Wave] is the least of my concerns.]

[Also, allies?]

[More like pawns, if you ask me.]

"... You're right." I replied.

[Bah, typical mortal-

"But that's why I want to prove you wrong." I cut in.

[... That's... unexpected.]

[You... out of all people, wish to prove me wrong?]

The [Roc] then howls out in laughter as it continues to plummet through the forest below.

"Umm... you might want to hurry up." Grimm stated. "I see a village down there, and people are running from us!"

I then turn back to the [Roc].

"Then hear me!" I cried out. "I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG! I WILL MAKE THIS WORLD REMEMBER YOU AS A PLATINUM-TIER BADASS AND NOT AS SOME WASHED-UP OLD HAG AS YOU CLAIM TO BE! AND ABOVE ALL ELSE!"

I then drive my fist into her stab wound, catching her attention.

"I WILL NOT ACCEPT YOU AS A MERE PAWN! I WILL ACCEPT YOU AS A PIVOTAL PART OF THE HISTORY THAT I SHALL WRITE ONTO THIS FILTHY AND IGNORANT WORLD!" I roared out from the bottom of my heart. "SO HELP ME GOD! IF YOU DON'T JOIN ME, THEN I WILL TAKE IT UPON MYSELF THAT YOU DO! EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT I HAVE TO DESTROY THAT NAMELESS VILLAGE DOWN BELOW IF IT MEANS THAT I GET YOU TO JOIN MY SIDE!"

The [Roc] goes silent.

[So you're really that desperate for help, aren't you?]

[... You really shouldn't have asked.]

"[Roc] added to [Summon] list." My HUD messaged.

And that was right before I crashed facefirst into a tree, before blacking out.

[Congrats idiot. You almost died.]

[You wanna go back to the world of hurt once more?]

[Yes]

[No]

...

[Yes]

...

[... Try not to die, you fucking jagoff.]

[Day 8]

"...an..."

"Na...an."

"NAN!"

"Agh!" I yipped out upon waking up.

My head was throbbing, my sole left vision was blurry, and above all else, my stomach is empty.

"... How long was I out?" I asked. "And how the hell did we get back to the [Archive]?"

"Garou did it." Grimm said. "I helped him out along the way."

"Good work." I spoke to the wolf-dude. "Oh, and what time is it..."

I look at the [Portable Dragon's Hourglass] and my clock reading 9:32 AM.

Time Remaining Before [Wave] Starts:

0 Days

2 Hours

28 Minutes

21 Seconds

... At least my whole party is level-capped to 40. I should thank the [Roc] for the whole party for the generous level charge.

Until then?

"EVERYONE!" I yell out while fighting through my concussion. "LET'S GO!"

I then stride my way out of the hammock room and towards the central nexus.

"Nan!" Garou speaks out. "Where are we going?"

I smiled.

"We're going hunting."

"Wait for a moment." The butler stated.

He then hands me a bundle of [Scrolls].

"I believe these may of be of some use." He stated.

Alright then, new plan.

"Everyone, go nuts."

The two demi-humans then go at it at the scrolls.

"Party member [Garou] learned [Shadow Dash], [Shatterstrike], [Dagger Mastery], and [Black Barrage]. Party member [Fubuki] learned [Instant-Casting], [Sleet Shield], and [Auto-Regen: Mana]." My HUD flooded me with messages.

Skill: [Shadow Dash]

Rarity: [Iron]

Type: [Physical]

Deals minor physical [Dark] damage.

Deals major physical [Dark] damage if user has [Dark] affinity.

Skill: [Shatterstrike]

Rarity: [Silver]

Type: [Physical]

Deals minor physical damage.

Ignores target's defense stats.

Lowers target's defense stat by 15% if attack deals critical hit or fatal blow.

Skill: [Dagger Mastery]

Rarity: [Platinum]

Type: [Passive]

User can now use [Dagger] weapons, regardless of [Class].

Skill: [Black Barrage]

Rarity: [Silver]

Type: [Physical]

Deals minimal [Dark] damage.

User's attack stat will increase by 5% per hit.

[Instant-Casting]

Rarity: [Gold]

Type: [Passive]

Magical attacks will no longer require incantation to activate.

Skill: [Sleet Shield]

Rarity: [Silver]

Type: [Enhancement]

Raises party's defense stat by 40%.

Restores party's HP and MP by 25% if user has [Ice] affinity.

Skill: [Auto-Regen: Mana]

Rarity: [Platinum]

Type: [Passive]

Restores 2% of user's MP every 30 seconds.

As for me...

"[Elemental Eater] and [Cleanse] Skills learned." My HUD stated.

Skill: [Elemental Eater]

Rarity: [Mythril]

Type: [Magical]

Absorbs all elemental attacks targeted to user.

Restores HP and MP upon absorption.

Raises attack and defense stats if user absorbed an elemental attack coinciding to user's affinity.

Skill: [Cleanse]

Rarity: [Silver]

Type: [Magical]

Clears all negative aliments upon target.

Thank you! Gonna be using that like if it's going out of style.

"Also, these [Equipment] were found in the vaults." The butler stated.

"You know what that means?" I asked the demi-humans.

"You mean I can finally get rid of this clunky chainmail?" He replied.

"MORE BADASS ARMOR THIS WAY!"

We then dive into our new equipment, and come out looking fresh as hell.

"Forget what I said earlier." I stated while walking out like John Wick with my brand-new flowing indigo robes with raven-like patterns all over it, and a brass medallion and the hourglass dangling from my neck.

"So we're not hunting?" Garou replied while imitating my walking posture with some levels of success.

"Nope." I replied.

"Then what?" Fubuki asked while following her twin brother from behind.

I let brandish a really wicked grin as I teleport my way back to the path back to Melromarc.

"We're going to war."

"Title [Bane of Law] earned."

[Bane of Law]

"Death to the law that is called 'holy'. Glory to true and free anarchy."

Stats double upon facing a [Lawful]-aligned [Encounter]

Raises stats of all [Chaotic] party members by 200%

Changes party's alignment to [Chaotic Evil] upon equipping title


To Be Continued...


Author's Notes: The price of power often costs the great.

At the cost of reclaiming a finger, my SI loses an eye in the place of his own life.

But no price is too great to pay for even greater power.

More steeper prices will be presented along with even greater power.

Fan the flames.

Mold the metal.

We raise an army.

- Darkest Dungeon


Stat Updates: Promotion to Level Cap 40-60 & Class Up, now available


Name: [Bane of Law], [Nan Hon-Jah]

Class: [Tome Hero]

Level: 40

Affinities: [All Eight Elements]

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Equipment: [Enigmatic Tome, Grimm], [Iron Rune], [Magus Robes], [Bandit's Silver Thumb], [Portable Dragon's Hourglass]

Attack: 39 (+30)

Defense: 30 (+20)

Agility: 32 (+15)

Luck: 31 (-10)

HP: 290 (+55)

MP: 400 (+110)


Name: [Garou]

Class: [Slave Fighter]

Level: 40

Affinities: [Dark]

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Equipment: [Assassin's Leather Armor], [Nightshroud], [Blade Gauntlets], [Primal Claws], [Katars]

Attack: 42 (+50)

Defense: 31 (-20)

Agility: 30 (+65)

Luck: 19 (+20)

HP: 420 (-20)

MP: 150 (-100)


Name: [Fubuki]

Class: [Slave Mage]

Level: 40

Affinities: [Ice]

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Equipment: [Twilight Gunstaff], [Twilight Cloak], [Twilight Hunter's Hood], [Mana Medallion]

Attack: 39 (+35)

Defense: 24 (+20)

Agility: 34 (+35)

Luck: 23 (+20)

HP: 270 (-80)

MP: 480 (+150)


War is coming.

Melromarc will burn.

And above all else.

Time to be badasses in the next Epic.

Until then, take care to leave a review a comment, you hear?

I want to know what you're all thinking.