A Love To Remember

Chapter 7 -Changed


"I really appreciate what you did for Sam and thank you for the flowers and the pancakes but we need to talk Julian"

"Why do I feel like you don't have good news?" he said nervously smiling as he would always do when he was around her. He couldn't stop smiling even if he had no reason to

"I can't be your girlfriend anymore, Julian" she said straight to the point

"And the girl breaks up with the boy" Julian said quietly

"I am so sorry but I can't be committed to you if I can't remember us" she said but could feel his pain and it somehow broke her heart

"I thought you could say it and any other time I would say okay, wish you the best and leave but I can't do it now. I am not the same, you changed me Brooke and I am still figuring out what happened" he said

"I wish things were different, I really do. Maybe I felt something for you before the accident but now all I feel…" she stopped looking at him "all I can say is that I am thankful for what you did for me and Sam"

"It is okay"

"It is not okay, Julian, don't you think it hurts to know that you are hurting because of me? I never planned to hurt you"

"I know and it counts a lot that you care enough for my feelings though I'd prefer you to say something different"

"Trust me, all I wanted was to say something different. All I wanted was the easy smile Peyton said I had that morning but I can't pretend, I can't lead you on something that is not there, Julian"

"Thank you for being honest. I wouldn't expect anything different from Brooke Davis" he said hugging her

His scent sent goose bumps on Brooke's body and she closed her eyes as she felt his strong arms around her

"Do you think we could be friends?" she asked as they parted the embrace

"I am not that guy Brooke"

"I care about you and I think you are a great guy" she said but inside her stomach flipped. She wasn't expecting his rejection

"Once I fall in love for someone there are only two ways for me: a relationship or nothing. I wish I could give you something else but I can't" he said almost breaking down

"Sam is going to miss you, it is not fair with her"

"I don't plan to stop being her friend because of you, unless you don't want me to be her friend anymore"

"Of course I wouldn't do it"

"So don't worry about her, I never used her to get close to you. She has an interest in the film industry and she is a great girl, I am more than pleased to help her with her stories" he said

"She is very happy you are"

"I am and I am not doing it because of you. I am doing it because she is talented and because I care about her"

"You are an honorable man, Julian"

"Not as much as I wanted, Brooke. An honorable man would accept to be your friend and would be here for you now that you need him the most" he said with the same defeated smile he had from the moment she broke up with him

"That doesn't make you less honorable, it just makes you more human" she said reaching for his hand. The moment he felt her body on his again, his heart sank. Confusion hit him again and somehow he couldn't let her go. His old self would do it easily and for a moment he thought maybe she hasn't changed him that much but only one simple touch assured him that he would never be the same guy again.

"But you changed me, Brooke Davis, you changed who I am and now I can't be that guy anymore, at least I can't be him around you" he confessed

"What do you mean?" she asked confused

"Before you, I wouldn't be around and ex-girlfriend unless I wanted her back and I usually don't want anyone back but now you changed it. If all you have to give to me is your friendship then I would be more than happy to have it" he said with a weak smile, not his usual grin

"I wouldn't agree to hurt you, Julian"

"I know it is part of your nature to think about anyone first but in this case I assure you, you don't need to protect me, Brooke, I am doing exactly what my heart is saying me to do"

"Are you thinking that I could wake up tomorrow and remember what happened and change everything?" she asked. Deep inside she had hope that it would happen because ever since Peyton and Owen left the house all she could think was Julian and what their relationship could have been haven't she lost her memory

"There is always hope but no Brooke, that's not the reason"

"So what is it? Until two minutes ago you were saying you couldn't do it" she said

"I did and I am sorry I am leading you to think something else. The thing is I try to be myself around you but I can't. I try making the decisions I've always made but I can't. It exhausting to fight against your own will" he said

"You tell me" she said teary

"So, friends?" he said stretching his hand to her but he could see her fight to hold the tears

"What is it, Brooke?" he asked concerned. Brooke Davis wouldn't cry in front of someone unless it was consuming her

"It seems like I can't be myself around you either" she said and the tear finally rolled her face

"What is it, talk to me, trust me" he said wiping her tears

"It is not a trust issue, I can assure you. The last clear memory I have about you is my lack of trust in you but now I could not only trust you my life but also Sam's" she said

"I am flattered" he said honestly giving her hand a squeeze

"I feel like I was happy with you"

"I wouldn't think otherwise" he said and now his real grin was on his face

"And I haven't been happy with someone in a long time and now I am afraid"

"You don't need to be afraid" he said brushing her hair behind her ear "I won't hurt you, I'll protect you"

"That's not what I am afraid now, Julian. Maybe it was before but now it isn't"

"What is it?" he asked

"That when I finally had the chance to be happy I blew it"

"First of all, you didn't blow it. The accident wasn't your fault and if you have a memory issue now it definitely isn't your fault either. You don't remember anything that happened in the last month, not only about me but about everything, so stop blaming yourself, okay?" he asked

"Okay" she answered quietly

"And second, I am not dead, you are not dead and we don't hate each other, so we could still have a chance" he said

"I can't be with you based on what I supposedly felt someday, Julian. I have to be with you for what I feel now" she said

"I know and I am not saying for you to be my girlfriend, we could be friends with potential"

"Friends with potential?" she asked

"Haven't you ever met a guy you thought you could have something with him?" he asked and she nodded slowly

"So think I am this guy. We hang out, we go on dates and we see if the potential turns into something else" he proposed

"Julian that's not fair to you, you already have the feelings and just because I felt it once it doesn't mean that if we try I would feel attracted to you again"

"It doesn't mean you wouldn't either"

"You could end more hurt than you are"

"By what? You discovering you prefer Owen over me?" he asked

"What does Owen have to do with it?"

"You dated him, didn't you?"

"Yeah but it was a long time ago"

"Even a blind can see he still pins for you"

"No, I am not talking about Owen, Julian, I am talking about you and your feelings. For you there is no potential, I would feel playing with your feelings"

"The door is open for you Brooke. We could be friends or we could be something else. Whatever works for you, I am here for you"

"I can't accept it"

"Then you will have a problem because I won't offer anything different"

"Julian" she begged

"Brooke, it isn't like I feel you are the love of my life and that I am so deeply in love with you like the guy on The Notebook. I know I said you changed me but maybe because it was the right time for me to change and be more flexible and start to accept that sometimes things can't be black or white. There is a lot of gray there and I think it is about time for me to starting considering it"

"Were you like this when we were together?"

"Like this how?"

"Perfect and understanding. Charming and sensible, no guy knows how Noah felt"

"I make movies, remember? I watch about twenty movies by week when I am not in the set and I hope I was like this when we were together" he said happy by words towards him

"Right" she gave him a weak smile

"I just want you to get better and be happy, Brooke"

"The get better part may not depend on you" she said pointing the casts

"But I'd be more than glad to take care of the happy part" he said leaning down to kiss her cheek

"Okay" she said

"Okay" he answered

"Are you going to wait for Sam?"

"No, I'll let you rest, if she set up for the two of us, I am sure she will take longer to come back, expecting her plan to have worked"

"You are right"

"Brooke, I have one more question" he said

"What is it?"

"This arrangement we have, are we going to be exclusive?" he asked

"Julian…" she said suspiciously

"No, I don't mean to see anyone, I was asking about you"

"We will start as friends, with maybe potential someday, and I don't think friends need to be exclusive"

"I had to try" he teased

"Of course you did"

"Say hi to Sam for me"

"I will"


AN: Sorry for the delay. This chapter is written for quite some time but one of the readers suggested me to get a Beta as my grammar is really bad and I took the advice, I am working on it and at first I waited a few days to see if I could get this chapter reviewed before I post but it didn't happen and as I posted dozens of chapters without any Beta review, why not post one more? But yeah, I am setting up Beta reviews for my fics and I know they will get better and you will finally be spared of my poor English.

I couldn't keep them together. Brooke is more confused than I showed already and she can't be with someone she doesn't know how she feels about. I thought they could try dating at first and then see what happens.

I haven't made up my mind yet if she will ever remember about what happened in that month. Especially because it involves remembering clearly of what happen on X's house and I feel like I want to spare her of it. She has blurred memories of that day and the day before and they are not constant, sometimes she remembers it, sometimes she doesn't.

Also there will be some time jumps in the next chapters and the next one may take a little while as I am going to see if I can get it reviewed before posting.

I also started a new fic called Hope, about mainly Brulian, their daughter Hope - who has Down Syndrome - and Victoria. If you haven't check it yet, take a look. It will be a more complicated fic for me to write as I never really had any relationship with DS children - or adults - but I wanted to write something meaningful and about love above all things. Surely I won't be able to update it once a week as I do here because it requires research but I will try my best to update on a fairly frequency.