I try to hide them all,

All the secrets, pain and hurt.

I lock them deep inside my chest.
But how many more can I take till I burst?

I keep many secrets. Many dark ones as well. As far as I can remember, ever since the first dark and painful secret, I've never truly cried. And ever since that first dark secret, I began developing my mask to hide those secrets and feelings when need be. I simply locked them all deep inside me, never letting them surface, or I'd probably be a wreck. No, I liked the real cheerful me. I thought it better to keep the secrets hidden, never to resurface again. But that was back then.

I woke up safely back in my king- size bed, and decided to go meet Shizuo today to thank him for saving my ass. The first thing I did was get out of bed and read the note on the package Izaya had left beside it.

Dear Vi- chan!
I've noticed that it's much too cold to be wearing the clothes you usually wear, so I include this outfit tailored specifically to suit you. It is warm, stylish and comfortable.
P.S- be careful in wearing it.

I unpacked the package and dressed in the outfit (story cover). Critically observing myself in the mirror, I decided it was perfect. So I set out to find Shizuo.

An hour and half later
I groaned, walking around Ikebukuro. Why was it that when you needed Shizuo, he was never around, but when you didn't need him, he seemed to pop out from any corner. Then I got a perfect idea. I cupped my hands to my mouth, and, imitating Izaya's voice almost perfectly (except it being a tone or two higher)
"SHIZU- CHAAAAAAAAAN!" - I yelled, and voila, the maddened human came running towards me.
"IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - he bellowed, and threw a VENDING MACHINE at ME. I yelped in pain, narrowly avoiding it, as I stretched a particularly painful bruise. Now I was pissed as well.
"OI, you FUCKING IDIOT! Do you even LOOK at WHOM you're throwing BLOODY VENDING MACHINES?"
"Huh?" - he stopped dead in his tracks, finally noticing
A) My coat fur was blue
B) I was wearing tights
C) I was wearing a skirt
D) I wasn't Izaya
E) I was a girl
F) I was the girl he saved yesterday
I rolled my eyes, seeing he finally realized I wasn't Izaya.
"I'm glad you've noticed I'm not Izaya BEFORE you almost killed me." - I said sarcastically, and he looked slightly ashamed.
"Why're you wearing the flea's coat? And why did you imitate him when you called me?"
"I'm not wearing HIS coat. He ordered the outfit I'm currently wearing specifically for me. And the reason why I imitated Izaya is because I spent over an hour touring Ikebukuro, asking people where you were and getting nowhere."
"Oh. Wait, why did you want to find me?"
"To thank you for saving me yesterday, of course."
"Oh. Wait, you shouldn't even be out after yesterday! You should be back in the hospital!" - he said, catching my arm and probably leading me to the hospital. "That flea bastard! He kidnapped you from the hospital, didn't he?" - then he stopped, struck by an idea. "Y- You're not his... Girlfriend, are you?" - he choked out, turning to face me, as I blushed.
"Of course not. Of course... not... He isn't capable... of those sorts of feelings for one human. He can only harbor them for all humankind, it seems." - I answered quietly, head hung down. Shizuo shook me by my shoulders.
"Hey, don't be an idiot." - he said. "You wanted to thank me, right? Well then thank me properly."
Right. Seems I'm easily saddened lately. I locked those feelings deep inside me again, becoming the cheerful self I really am. Then I grabbed Shizuo's hand and pulled him along with me, ignoring the bewildered looks he and passers- by were giving me.
"You free now?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Free to come to Shibuya with me?" - I asked him, pausing slightly to wait for his reply. He stiffened.
"This better not be a trap or setup by the flea." - he mumbled under his breath.
"Oi, Shizuo Heiwajima, answer me!" - I demanded, hands on hips and facing him.
"Yeah, yeah, free to come to Shibuya."

"Goodie!" - I beamed at him, continuing to drag him after me.

10- 15 min later
"Alrighty, we're here!" - I said triumphantly, ushering Shizuo into the french gateaux cafe and seating him at an angled cozy table with one long 90 degree sofa seat hidden from view behind tropical plants and a row of coat hangers.
"And... Why are we here?" - he asked, perplexed.
"To EAT, of course! This cafe has the BEST cakes in TOKYO!"
"Yeah, I believe you on that. But why?"
"Baka" - I said, sticking my tongue out at him. "To thank you for saving me, of course!"
"I would've been fine with a verbal apology, you know?"
"I do not caaaaare! You're spending the evening with me and we're having fuuuuuuun!" - I sang, simultaneously passing him the menu. He sat there for a bit, staring at the menu as I giggled. It was all in French.
"What's so funny?" - he snapped, as I burst into a giggle fit. I set my menu down, scooting over to him and leaning onto him while pointing to different tasty things in the menu as he watched me.
"So this one is the Grand Gateaux. Personally, I adore it, it's THREE whole different layers of mixed chocolate, and it has whipped cream and a cherry on top! I would recommend starting with that since you're new- you're bound to like it -are you even listening to me?" - I huffed angrily.
"You... Aren't afraid of me?" - he asked quietly, as I stared at him. Don't tell me he counts himself a monster because people call him that...
"Come here." - I said, patting the angled sofa seat beside me. He hesitated, and I sighed, coming over to sit beside him. I carefully lifted my hands to his face, and he flinched. "Hey, don't flinch on me. I'm a beautiful girl, right? Right?"
"Yes.."
"Good. Then look at this beautiful girl and listen to what she has to say." - I said, taking off his glasses, setting them on the table and finally seeing his eyes for the first time up close. "Okay, Shizuo, you listening to me?"
"Yes."
"Good, just checking. Alright. Tell me Shizuo, are you an idiot?"
"Eh? Of course not!"
"Okay, then why do you believe people when they say you're a monster?" - his eyes widened.
"How do you know about that?"
"I would be an idiot if I didn't." - I rolled my eyes. "In any case, just because you have inhuman strength, that doesn't make you a monster. Just because other people call you a monster, that doesn't mean you are like that. They don't treat you like a fellow human being, so what? They're the ones not being human for that. They ignore you, hate you, insult you... You know why? Because they're afraid of you. They're afraid of your strength. Tell me, Shizuo, where are YOU a monster in this? You try to help them if they need help, you're kind and protective and gentle and caring but you hide it all so THEY don't hurt YOU. Tell me, Shizuo, why on earth do you think of yourself that way?" - I asked, gazing expectantly into his molten chocolate eyes.
"Heh. You speak as if you've known me all my life. I'll answer you, girl."
"Violet." - I said firmly. "My name is Violet."
"Violet. I think of myself that way because I can't control my power. Whenever I get angry, I just snap. I can't control my actions, or what I'm doing. I could even hurt those I care about and I wouldn't be able to stop myself." - he said, hiding his face in his hands. I gently pried them from his face and held them. I noticed my hands were so small, compared to his.
"Shizuo. You're an idiot, you know? If that's the reason you count yourself a monster, you're truly an idiot. With great power comes great responsibility, I understand that. But like with all great power, you learn to control it in time. TIME, Shizuo, that's all you need. You're being too hard on yourself. Just work on it a bit more, run after Izaya and hurl trashcans and vending machines at him all you like, because in that way you'll learn to control your power. You stopped back then all those years ago, when Izaya held a knife to my throat, didn't you? You'll be able to stop again. I'm sure of it." - I said confidently.
"Wait, YOU were that girl Izaya used as a shield?"
"Yeah. He had my consent though..." - I trailed off
"So you're fine with him holding a knife to your throat?" - he asked, shocked.
"That's how love is, Shizuo. It's irrational." - I smiled wryly. "Now shut up and eat." - I said, ducking under his arm and hugging him around the middle before he could say anything else. He stiffened, and then slowly, awkwardly, hugged me back. Then I withdrew from him, and, taking a spoonful of the newly- arrived Grand Gateaux, shoved it into his mouth. His eyes that were about to cry grew wide in wonder as he licked the spoon clean.
"This is DELICIOUS!" - he exclaimed, and, giggling, I moved away from him to give him space to dig in, which he did.
"I told you there's no way you wouldn't like it, it's even Izaya's favorite." - I said, and my grin faded. Shizuo noticed, moved his plate closer to mine, and started talking about random stuff. I gladly joined in, and ordered an Absinthe.

Several hours later
"Reeeally? Kasuka, THE *hic* movie star Kasuka is YOUR broth *hic* er?" - I asked, surprised. P.S- Shizuo still didn't realize I was drunk.
"Yes. You're probably also another fan."
"You *hic* kidding?" - I looked at him incredulously. "He's such a CHEESY actor! *hic* It's like he never shows any *hic* emotions at all! He's *hic* worse than Iz *hic* aya!" - I stated, and grew slightly quieter. Shizuo noticed, moved himself closer to me, and used his fork to steal some of my Foret- Noire.
"Mmmm, this is tasty!" - he said, licking the fork clean as I snatched my cake away from him.
"Hey, *hic* you STOLE *hic* half of my cake! Gimme *hic* back!" - I yelled, pouting.
"How? I've eaten it, there's no way you can get it back." - he said calmly, and I got a sly smile on my face.
"Shizu *hic* - chan?"
"Ye- H?" - he got cut off as I slung my arms round his neck and without further thought, kissed him. His lips parted in surprise and I eagerly thrust my tongue in, tasting the aftertaste of chocolate mixed with cigarettes. I decided that I liked the way Shizuo tasted, and issued a chirrup of protest when he separated me from him.
"Shizuo..." - I looked at him with misted amethyst eyes and clumsily lunged at him again. "Shizu- chaaan, lemme *hic* kiss you!"
"Violet, you're drunk. Calm down and let's go home."
"Nya! *hic*" - I protested, jumping at him as he easily caught and slung me over his shoulder, leaving the money on the table and signalling the waiter. Then he just as calmly exited the cafe.
"Where do you live, Violet?"
"Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu *hic* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu *hic* uuuuu"
"Violet, come on."
"I don't *hic* wanna go *hic* home!" - I yelled. "And...*hic*... Izaya might be *hic* there..." - I mumbled, and Shizuo sighed.
"What do I do with you?"
"Yo*hic*ur place!"
"Oh, fine then, alright." - Shizuo gave in to me and headed off to his home. On the way I fell asleep, and I woke up somewhere in the middle of the night, still drunk and hot. My coat had already been taken off me, and so were my shoes. Oblivious to my surroundings, I took off my shirt, skirt and tights and sprawled on the bed in bliss. Somewhere around 5 o' clock in the morning, I woke up with a terrible hangover and trudged off to find Shizuo. I found him in the next room, sleeping soundly on the couch.
"ShizuO!" - I said, poking his face. "Shizuooooo."
"Mmmm, what?" - he mumbled, still half- asleep.
"Painkillers."
"Oh, they're in the black box in the kitchen."
"Thanks."

An hour later, Shizuo awoke to the delicious smell of pancakes drifting in from the kitchen. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he entered and beheld an almost completely naked me setting plates on the table with a charming smile on my face.
"Morning, Shizu- chan!"
"V- VIOLET!"
"What?" - I asked, bewildered.
"G- Go dress yourself." - he said, turning away from me, as I looked at myself and realized in a dreamlike state that I was wearing only my white lacy bra and panties. Furiously blushing, I ran off to dress.
"Start eating without me, food's on the table!" - I yelled from the hallway. Several awkward minutes later, I entered back into the kitchen.
"Violet, you're an AMAZING cook!" - Shizuo said through mouthfuls of pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs and cupcakes, as I giggled.
"Thanks, but you better find some new compliments, or you'll be repeating Izaya over and over." - I froze, realizing what I had said, but Shizuo tactfully "didn't notice".
"So, Violet, where are you from?"
"Oh, I'm from Shiki."
"Shiki? I heard it was a quiet place."
"Still is, I can take you there one day when you're free if you like."
"Um, Violet, do you even remember what you did yesterday?"
"Hmmmmmmm, I got dreadfully drunk, judging by the headache... Oh no, don't tell me I did something awful?"
"Well I'm not sure what you would consider kissing me as -"
"I KISSED you? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD!" - I repeated in frustration, pacing back and forth. Shizuo got the wrong idea and stormed out. I ran after him, barely catching him in the doorway. "Shizuo, wait, I didn't mean it that way!" - I tried to tell him sensibly.
"Oh don't lie, just say you think me a monster like everyone else!"
"I don't!"
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" - he yelled, and his eyes filled with pain. Throwing caution and whatever I felt for Izaya away for the moment (understanding he needed me more than the broker for the moment), I threw my arms around Shizuo and kissed him. Startled, he stopped and slightly calmed down as I wove my fingers through his hair. In a moment, I was crushed to his chest, the door slammed shut and locked. Then he threw me roughly onto the bed and pinned me down, common sense vanished from his mind in the presence of lust and feelings kept pent up for so long. I squirmed as he claimed my mouth, teeth grazing my soft lips. He was holding both my hands with one of his, using his other hand to balance himself on the bed. My whimpers snapped him back to reality though. Realizing what he was doing, he immediately let go and sat on the very edge of the bed, head hung in hands in shame. My head was spinning, and by the time the world had stopped turning round its' axes and I sat up, I noticed Shizuo was crying. I scooted over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and laid my head on his shoulder.
"Shhh, Shizuo." - I soothed him, rubbing his back.
"I- I'm so sorry, Violet... So sorry..."
"It's alright, Shizuo. It's all right."
"I could've hurt you! I would've..."
"But you didn't, right? Remember, I told you you'd be able to stop. And this time I'll be with you to help you. I'll stay by your side, Shizuo. Don't worry, I'll be there for you." - I hugged him tighter.
"Violet. You really are something, you know?" - he said, turning round to face me and cupping my face in his huge hands. I gazed into his chocolate eyes, understanding I could give this my all, and it could easily turn into a relationship. I could probably be happy with him, and make him happy too. I decided to give it a try, after all I needed love more than anything else right now. I closed my eyes and parted my lips slightly, giving Shizuo the choice to either kiss me or back off. For a bit, nothing happened, and I felt slightly stupid. Then he brushed his thumb over my lower lip, wiping the dewdroplet of blood away from when he had grazed my skin. And then, softly, slowly, he claimed my lips with his, first gently sucking on my bottom lip, and then the upper one. He pulled away, looking into my eyes, and I smiled, nuzzling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Let's stay at your place today..." - I mumbled, and he kissed my forehead.
"Sure."
~Shizuo~