Usual disclaimers apply. Mistakes aplenty are bound to pepper this chapter so apologies in advance! Hope you enjoy it besides all that, and again my thanks to one and all for such positive feedback that this story has been receiving. Rozzy

Growing Pains - Chapter 8: Selective hearing

It was close to midday by the time Joshua returned to the cabin and his jaw clenched shut on seeing John's truck parked up. He sucked in a long breath realising that he had well and truly run out of time.

On the drive back he had hoped for another chance to talk with Sam and get a better picture of what had actually happened two nights back. The boy had been vague in places, hinted at things, but never fully confessed to anything other than he had managed to beat off a two hundred pound psycho and get back home. It left him more than a little uneasy, especially after having seen Burnett's body and realising just what a big man he had been. It was hard to believe that Sam no matter how well trained would have been able to fend him off.

It took him a full five minutes to work up the courage to get out of the car, hauling with him the heavy bags of groceries he had snagged from the Burnett's store an hour before.

With the family away it had been the perfect opportunity to tidy up any loose ends. He had wiped the surveillance tapes for the last few weeks and then did a thorough search of the property. What he had found hidden under the floorboards in a cluttered office space had turned his stomach. There were boxes of photos and diaries cataloguing a history of violence and he was faced with the unpalatable truth that the man had been a serial abuser.

The guilt sat heavy on his shoulders knowing that the bastard had been just waiting for his chance with Sam. The creep hadn't failed to notice when John left town or the fact that his supposed 'Uncle Joshua' never materialised. As the week went on he had just bided his time till he made his move. The diary entries made it quite clear what he planned to do, naming Sam his intended 'Friday night special'.

It wasn't going to be easy to face John and tell him any of this. He had expected him to be there for his son, to protect him from all sorts of dangers including the human kind and he had failed them both.

As he entered the cabin the silence was stifling and he stilled his need to turn tail and head back to the mind-numbing charms of Linda and pretend that the last two days had never happened. Steeling his nerves he found the courage to keep on walking and on entering the kitchen drew to an abrupt halt. John was slumped in a chair by the stove apparently fast asleep. Not wanting to startle him awake he tried to put down the heavy bags of groceries as quietly as he could on the table but it was still enough to snap back John to full alert.

Snapping upright John took in the sight of his old friend and threw him a lopsided grin of welcome, "Hey Josh was wondering where you were at."

Josh couldn't hide the wince of sympathy on seeing the long gash and bruises on John's face, "Have to say you look like crap man."

"Demon, me bait. Not a good mix it seems," smirked back John before fingering the cut on his cheek as the skin pulled.

Joshua shrugged off his jacket, "You're too old to be pulling this crap. What was wrong in letting the young bloods play the punch bag this time out?"

John threw him a watery smile and on noticing the bags on the table dared to ask, "Please tell me that you have some coffee?"

"Yeah sure, I'll make us up a pot," offered up Joshua hastily at his friend's apparent desperation. He pulled out a packet and John beamed happily at the sight, his eyes half closed as he rested his battered and tired body

As he sorted out a fresh brew Josh let the silence that had settled between them continue all the time trying to find the courage to tell him what had happened. Finally finding his voice again Josh turned back to John and asked, "You still like yours totally naked?"

"What other way is there?" snorted back John as he eagerly took the offered mug.

Josh didn't even blink at the jibe as he poured milk into his own mug before heaping in three sugars. Too each his own was his motto.

"Ya know there is one rule in this house that is sacrosanct," drawled out John as he cradled his mug struggling to keep his eyes open.

Cocking a knowing look at Joshua asked, "Yeah, what's that? Something really profound I bet like make sure the salt lines stay dry?"

John gave a short laugh, "That too, but more importantly that there should always be coffee for the returning heroes after a successful hunt. I yelled up a storm when I saw the jar empty earlier."

Joshua shrugged an apology, "Sorry about that, I used the last of it up this morning. Just surprised that Sam has managed to sleep on with a crotchety old bear like you back in full vocal force."

John's eyes narrowed and he threw his friend a dark look of reprimand, "Sam is running an errand of mercy right now for this crotchety old man thanks to you."

Smacking his head with an open palm Joshua couldn't hold back his groan of disbelief, "Oh man, let me guess, you growled and barked and sent him packing in a minute flat? No 'Hi son how's your week been?' I bet."

John rolled his eyes at the display, "The boy was still in bed gone past ten in the morning. Seems to be that the kid has been slacking off all week long, and has done a big fat zero of nothing under your care."

Joshua sucked in a breath and finally admitted, "You're gonna want to kill me for saying this but I only got here last night."

John's mouth fell open at the news before he found his voice, "Damn it man you said you were coming, it was the only reason I left my boy alone for so long."

"I know I fucked up," admitted Joshua feeling his heart thump in his chest as the emotions of guilt and betrayal run through him.

"You should have rang me, let me know so I could have sorted out something else." accused John.

"I just didn't think. Sam let me off the hook by saying that I didn't really need to come. Frankly it gave me an easy way out as my pants were going in the opposite direction if you get my drift."

John groaned and buried his head into his hands too bone weary to want to have this to deal with this revelation right now, "You idiot, the kid could always talk you into doing anything."

"I honestly thought you'd be gone a day or two max, that everything would be fine. When no one called so I was sure that I wasn't needed anymore."

John scowled back up at him and was forced to ask, eyes studying the bruise on his jaw with suspicion, "So what made you turn up last night? Your latest conquest's husband turn up or something?"

Joshua shook his head, and absently fingered the bruise that Sam had given him in his panic last night, "No it was Caleb. He rang and hit my guilt button, made me hot foot it across to check in on your boy as I should have been doing all week. Just sorry I didn't come sooner…"

John's eyes hardened, his gut clenching in sudden uneasiness, "Just what do you mean by that?" Dean hadn't even hinted at the fact that his youngest boy had been alone all week or of any trouble he might have gotten himself into. Words would have to be said to both his boys.

Joshua winced at his suddenly hard tone but he knew the man deserved to know the truth no matter how bad that painted him. Blowing out a long breath he finally asked, "You really haven't spoken with Sam then? He didn't tell you anything before you made him go out on a stupid coffee hunt?"

John hesitated a second before answering, "No, he barely said a word to me. Nothing unusual in that though."

Joshua stood up sharply as it felt more natural to be on his feet as he admitted to his friend what his mistake had almost cost his boy. Perhaps even to take the punch if it came from the soon to be angry father in front of him.

Carefully he put his mug in the sink and turned round to face John, "A creep called Burnett is what happened. Slime ball thought it some sort of game to sneak candy and stuff into the kid's grocery bag."

John brow creased in puzzlement, "The storekeeper down the road? Why the hell would he have anything to do with my boy?" Then on realising on where he sent his youngest he stood up abruptly himself, "I sent Sam down to the store."

Visibly blanching at the new information Joshua heart stilled for a second before he found his voice, "Well that's gonna be hard for the boy to do seeing the store is still locked up because of the funeral."

John swayed slightly at the news, confusion clear on his face as he eyed the groceries on the table with the name Burnett stencilled in red on each bag, "Funeral? What the hell has been going on here? Who died?"

Licking his dry lips Joshua came clean, "Burnett two nights back. The drunken bastard made the kid get in his van when he saw him walking home then crashed the damn thing when Sam wanted out."

John felt his stomach hollow itself out, "But Sam was okay, right?" He closed his eyes recalling his youngest earlier but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary with him and felt a little bit more reassured.

Joshua nodded but wasn't quite able to meet John's searing gaze, "I think so. He wouldn't let me get anywhere near him but he seems okay. From what I could gather the van went nose-to-nose with a tree and lost the battle. Afterwards Burnett ran off back down the road only to be rear-ended by a hit-and-run. Sweet justice if you ask me."

John shook his head in disbelief, "This happened two night ago you say and yet Sammy didn't think to call me? A man is dead for Christ sake and that raises up a whole world of other possibilities and repercussions."

"Yeah well about that I managed to salt Burnett's body and doused it with enough accelerant that at the crematorium he literally made the earth move when he went up with a bang."

John scrubbed a shaky hand over his face in disbelief, trying to digest the story as it unfolded, "Sam didn't say a word about it this morning."

Joshua paused wondering how on earth he was going to tell John the rest of what happened to his son before he confessed the simple truth, "I think he was more scared of you and how'd you react than of what Burnett did. I sort of promised him not tell you…it was the only way to calm him down last night."

John's molars ground together as he tried to keep his temper in check as he asked, "Let me get this straight, my boy told you to not come, then got into some drunk's van, knows that a man has been killed and then wanted you to lie to me? Seriously - I am a father made proud."

The sound of the front door slamming stalled Joshua's response and they both turned their heads in tandem too see Sam walk slowly into the kitchen before placing the coffee cautiously onto the table.

Joshua flinched when Sam looked up at him, his fragile mask of hope disintegrating as he asked desperately, "You told him?"

Feeling like he just punched the kid in the guts when he saw the fear in his eyes he darted a quick plea to John for understanding before answering Sam, "I'm sorry kiddo. Your dad needed to know."

Joshua sucked in a breath when he saw whatever faith the boy might have held for him vanish, and heard him gasp out, "No. You promised. You promised."

John on hearing his son's words spun him around with a firm grip and Joshua was left wishing he had kept this mouth shut as the man started to tear strips off his youngest boy.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Caleb looked too goddam smug for it to be a good thing surmised Dean as he was wheeled out of the hospital grounds. Sure he had made good his promise to get him released today but the guy had been up to something that he was being firmly tight lipped about. And that something he was pretty damn certain involved his beloved car.

As he drew nearer to the perfectly polished impala Dean threw his friend a threatening look but kept his silence.

Caleb held back a chuckle at seeing Dean's death glare directed his way, "So how's the butt holding up."

"Just fine," growled back Dean still on enough painkillers to feel numb his eyes locked on his car as Caleb drew to a stop by the back of the car and pulled the holdall off Dean's lap and tossed it into the trunk before pushing the wheelchair to the passenger door.

"Oh man this feels so wrong," muttered Dean at being sidelined to passenger status and then his eyes widened in disbelief as he pulled the door open. Something fluorescent and very pink rested in all its offensive glory on the seat.

"No freaking way," spat out Dean hotly as he eyed the child's blow up swimming aid. "I'm not parking my ass on that thing all the way back to Wisconsin."

Keeping his expression totally deadpan Caleb answered, "What's wrong with it. It's the perfect solution. It will keep you from tearing your stitches and will be a nice little air pocket of comfort."

"You little bastard. You think this is funny?" growled back Dean as he eyed the pink monstrosity.

His face schooled into neutral Caleb hid his amusement, "Oh come on, stop being such a baby and get in the car. People are starting to notice…."

A small group of nurses watching on as one of their more interesting patients departed their care smiled over at them throwing the odd wave of goodbye and words of encouragement.

"Screw you," snapped back Dean tossing the lurid cushion over his shoulders to the ground. He'd rather do the long journey back to Wisconsin in discomfort rather than sit his backside on the thing.

Caleb couldn't stifle a giggle as he picked up the pink ring and flashed it at the nurses who laughed in return. "Come on be reasonable here. Your delicate little butt needs some TLC here."

Stubbornly Dean started to drag himself onto the seat, ignoring the pull on his stitches and he huffed out bitterly, "Anyone ever tell you what a huge jerk you grew up to be?"

There was a loud pop as Caleb shoved the point of a key into the pink plastic ring and the air sizzled out. "Nope. Jerk doesn't quite equate to my 'Nigh Perfect Status' I've been endowed with I believe."

Dean threw him a vicious look, "Yeah well you are. One hundred percent a first class jerk."

Tossing the deflated ring onto the back seat Caleb laughed at his friend's continued pout and reached across to pull out a more conservative dark blue cushion, plusher in appearance and covered in soft velour, "You can stop the dramatics Little Miss Precious. Just lift you butt up and sit on this."

When Dean stubbornly shook his head Caleb leant in and whispered in a tight threat, "Listen, you either sit on this or I will wheel your backside back to that nice warm bed you've just left."

Looking very much like his baby brother did at times Dean rolled his eyes and muttered, "Add really downright mean to that growing list of faults you have. Bitch."

As Dean gingerly hoisted his backside off the seat Caleb slipped in the cushion and was rewarded with a soft sigh of appreciation and he tossed a look at his friend, "So you ready for our little road trip?"

Still pouting Dean didn't bother to respond and Caleb switched on the radio and when Dean went to protest at the soft jazz station he had tuned it into wagged a finger in warning at him, "Driver, me. Passenger, you."

"Oh shoot me dead now, this is going to be hell itself," moaned back Dean dreading the too long road trip to come.

Caleb grinned as the pulled out of the car lot, threw a wave goodbye at the nurses and headed for the nearest drive-thru. Food was what needed he had decided to lift his passenger out of his growing funk. "Them golden arches calling out to you yet?" he asked and Dean's face lit up despite himself.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Tucking his chin down to his chest Sam tried to breathe through his growing panic as his father gripped his shoulder good and hard, "Dad…I."

He couldn't speak any further, his mouth suddenly too dry as the long walk to find a store open and then the walk back had left him with few reserves left. Daring a glance over to the sink he wished desperately for a glass of water to give him back the ability to speak and a chance to explain himself away.

Joshua disquiet grew at hearing John's harsh tone with the boy and he wondered if the man had taken in any thing he had said just seconds earlier. Stepping forwards he tried to intervene, "John, for pity sake give the boy a chance to tell you what happened."

Letting go of Sam with a small shove he snarled back at his friend, "Oh I know what happened my son defied me once again. I gave him explicit instructions and he went against them. Look at how well that turned out. Jesus H Christ a man's dead because of it."

Joshua rose to his full height sizzling with indignation, "Don't you dare lay that blame on Sam. It's one hundred percent my fault this all happened. And as for Burnett you should be thankful that the fucking bastard's dead."

Sourly John threw his son a sideways glance, "Yeah well now we'll have the goddam police sniffing around and all because he was dumb enough to get in a van with some drunkard. It defies all reason."

Feeling more than a little naked under his dad's scrutiny Sam's sense of guilt was being amplified and all he wanted to do was crawl away into any dark corner and sleep away this nightmare.

Not to be intimidated Joshua stood his ground in defence of the boy, "I'm telling you John go easy, you don't know the whole story yet."

Sam took a step back as the two older men jockeyed for control but it was only his dad's voice he could find any purchase to focus on.

"It sounds to me that I'm damn lucky to have heard anything at all. My son was willing to have you lie to my face, save his stupid ass for an easy way out."

"Oh come on John it wasn't like that. The kid was gullible, that's his only mistake. You really just don't understand what it was like for Sam."

"And what part should I try to understand here? He got into some drunk's van and it ended up with a man dead."

Trying desperately not to breakdown and show any more weakness to his dad Sam ignored how his whole body felt ready to collapse and he managed he stammer out a confession, "I didn't know he'd been drinking. When he pulled up, I didn't know."

John stilled at hearing his son's voice and took in a steadying breath and took a long hard look at his son before he turned back to Joshua his face unreadable, "I need to speak with my son alone. Best you wait outside."

Joshua threw a look at Sam but the boy refused to acknowledge him, his hurt too deep at what he deemed a betrayal. Snatching up his jacket he bent down to whisper in Sam's ear, "I'm sorry but I had to say something, you shouldn't have to deal with this on your own kiddo. He's your dad after all…"

Sam shook his head and took a step away from him biting back a response, that the man may be his dad but that didn't mean a damn thing when it came to forgiving him for his screw ups. It wasn't the John Winchester way of doing things.

Listening for the front door to close as Joshua stepped outside John turned back to his son, his voice level and frighteningly cold, "You ever planning on telling me the truth or were you just going to spin out a whole world of lies for me to swallow?"

Sam shot his dad a look and admitted, "I, no…. I tried to ring you. That night, I tried and you didn't pick up."

John without his cell phone to check the validity of his words shook his head, still desperately trying to understand why his son had been prepared to lie to him, "I'm trying to understand why you thought not telling me the truth an option. Hell I'm struggling just to get my head round the fact that you got in the man's van in the first place."

Pausing Sam tried to focus his thoughts and all he could remember was the cold unrelenting rain and he shrugged softly before admitting, "It was raining."

John's face fell open in disbelief, "Raining? You couldn't suck up a small walk home because it was bloody raining? I expected to hear that he twisted your arm and forced you in to his van. Not that you hopped in willingly."

Biting his bottom lip Sam shook his head in denial. "I said no but he kept on at me. I thought he'd cause a scene and half of Baudette would know about it. That he would know you weren't there. It seemed easier to just let him give me a ride home."

"Yeah and some ride that turned out to be," snorted back John in disgust. He shook his head struggling to keep his control. After all his years of training the boy it was hard to believe that he could have been so freaking naïve, and then at just how bloody devious he had been in trying to hide it from him.

His son's face was hidden from view by his too long bangs and John was left wondering just what was going on in his head right now as anyone could read his son through his eyes.

Running a shaking hand through his own grimy hair he sighed tiredly unable to mask his deep disappointment, "So instead of acting like a son of mine should behave you instead get Joshua to tidy up your mess and then expect him to lie to my face for you."

"Even if I told you what happened I knew you wouldn't understand," admitted Sam, willing for his voice not to sound so weak as he took a quick peak up at his dad. He wiped the cuff of his sleeve over his face, the sweat dappling his skin making him feel ever more uncomfortable. With his mouth still too dry he found it impossible to add anything more coherent.

"No you're right I don't understand," answered John truthfully, "I thought you were finally growing up. That you were stopping all your childish dramas but it seems I was wrong." Sourly he added, "Your brother would never have let me down like this. Never."

"I know," answered Sam honestly, eyes smarting at the sting of tears that threatened to fall. "Dean would have cottoned on to Burnett straight away. He would have sussed it out, the reason for the special treats and all."

John looked over at the Twinkie bar by the sink and frowned. Joshua had mentioned Burnett slipping candy into the bags but he had been too fired up to really take on board his meaning. As the penny dropped acid rose up his throat and he felt physically sick. "Jesus you mean he'd been giving you these to sweeten you up and you didn't think about what he might want in return."

Sam trembled and felt his skin burn under his dad's outrage, "I didn't know it was him, I thought it was Nancy. I didn't know it was him till he told me in the van."

John crushed the cake in his hand and threw it in the sink in disgust before focusing his attention back on his son, "So let me get this right you didn't sense anything wrong with the man, like the fact he was fucking drunk when you got into his van. That you didn't suss on to the fact he was some twisted pervert?"

"No Sir," mustered back Sam, wondering why his whole body kept on trembling or why his thoughts seem so befuddled. "He just seemed normal…"

John growled out his disbelief, "Its hard to believe you've been raised a Winchester. Don't tell me you are still so naïve not to know what the man was hinting at, what he thought he was buying?"

"Burnett's voice echoed in his head and Sam's face flushed again at the memory, "Candy for such a sweet young boy like you just seemed fitting."

Sam blushed furiously and his voice rose an octave, anger starting to seep into the hollow space in his guts, "He didn't buy me off with some damn candy. You weren't there, didn't hear the things he kept on saying. You don't know how it played out."

"So you say, but I know the end result," spat back John equally as hotly. "That my son was foolish enough to walk willing into some perverts sick world and that he's just damn lucky that the creep was so drunk he crashed the van."

"As usual its so easy for you to departmentalise it all into nice neat little images of Stupid Sam screws up again isn't it?" Sam's spat out, anger rippling out of him in a rush of hot words. "You really want to know why I didn't want to tell you about Burnett, about what happened?"

John rocked back on his heals more than a little surprised at the fire in his son's voice before he responded "You going to try and feed me another version of events? I think I can see pretty clear just what went on."

"See - that's why. You have selective hearing when it comes to anything I say. Always picking on something that you can nail me to the wall with it," Sam drew himself up straight his voice bitter as he added, "I know that it wouldn't have made any difference if it told you what happened or if I told you that your useless weak-assed son stopped him. Stopped him before…."

His voice tailed off, the shame stilling his tongue at just hinting at what Burnett had wanted from him.

John felt the blood drain from his face and he staggered back to half sit on the edge of the table as his legs gave way as he did his assumptions that the man had been too drunk to do anything to his boy, "Before what Sam?"

He watched as his son pointedly looked away and he was forced again to ask, "Before what? What did he do? Tell me what exactly happened in that van."

Sam breath hitched in his chest as he blurted out in a hoarse whisper, "What do you think? You really want to hear that he thought me easy, that he offered me money to do stuff ?"

The silence remained thick between them before John found the strength to ask, the words sounding wrong to his own ears, "Did he…. did you let that bastard touch you?"

When his son flinched but didn't answer his control slipped through his fingers as his terror took over. In a second he was back on his feet shaking his son and shouting, "Oh god did you let that fucking pervert touch you?"

Sam felt his throat close up and all he could do was shake his head in denial.

John's felt sick to his stomach. A man had tried to molest his son. Worse though was the boy had tried to hide it from him and he found himself shaking him more forcibly, "You better answer me now. Tell me exactly what he did. No more lies."

The heat in the kitchen felt suddenly too intense for Sam and the sweat poured off him, whilst his head throbbed in tandem with the pain in his back. All he could understand was that his dad was so angry that he could feel his teeth clacking together with each shake.

Finally he managed to blurt out, "He didn't do get to do that. I stopped him. Don't you understand that I stopped him."

Joshua on hearing the raised voices had dashed back into the house to see Sam struggling to get out from his father's strong grip. In a mad dash he pulled John away, "What the hell? Let go of the him John before you hurt him."

John eyes went wide as the contact with his son was broken and he dragged in a much needed breath before throwing his friend a telling look, "You know what that bastard was going to do with Sam? All because of some fucking candy bars my boy was too stupid not to accept."

"You've got to calm down John. I told you hadn't all the facts," he threw a quick glance over at Sam and saw him standing there clearly trembling. Turning back to John he let go of him, "Please don't make things worse by going off the deep end here."

"Deep end? He's tried to hide this from me." His face soured even further at glancing over at his son, "It's hard to believe that he's a Winchester at times."

Sam may have been initially cowed by his dad's temper but his own was growing and the repeated innuendo at being a second rate Winchester stung too deep again to ignore. Lifting his head high he spat back sarcastically, "Yeah right dragging down the family name all for some freaking candy. Not worth bending over for a screw is it."

"Sam, please…" warned Joshua to the boy behind him as he saw John bristle at the rawness of his youngest words.

"Watch your mouth boy or you just planning to carry on digging an even bigger hole to bury your stupid ass in," spat back John standing up tall.

Sam blinked back his need for tears and threw a bitter look at his dad over Joshua's shoulder. "Stupid is right. Should have taken up the big guy's offer of a quick fifty bucks. Hell I bet if I hung around long enough he might have upped it to a hundred."

Joshua groaned at the boy's confession, "Oh my god Sam please don't …"

Unable to stop the tirade of words from spilling out Sam added, "Yeah you would have been real proud of me then, right Sir? I could have kept you in coffee for a year." He sucked in a tremulous breath before he managed to spit out even more hurt, "Or even better been worth more than a quarter my weight in salt for once."

Joshua saw his friend's eyes go dark at the taunt and didn't know what words to say to undo the damage, instead he kept himself firmly between the two warring Winchesters fearing that John might reach out and physically harm his son.

Instead John closed his eyes, body sagging as he turned away, gripping the edge of the sink to keep himself upright. Hoarsely barely more than a whisper he spat out, "Get out of my sight boy before I do something I'll regret."

There was a moment of silence and Joshua shot a look over his shoulder at Sam expecting some bitter come back. Instead the boy was close to tears as he whispered up at him, vindicating his earlier plea for silence, "I told you he would hate me."

Shaking his head in denial Joshua looked back to John eyes pleading for him to give the boy some support. He heard Sam turn on his heels and leave and was torn with his need to go after him but he had noticed something the boy hadn't, the growing crimson stain on John's forearm. A bleeding wound took precedent over hurt feelings he reasoned as he let Sam go and went over to where his friend stood hunched over the sink.

Putting a hand on his shoulder he felt him stiffen, "Come on John, sit down before you fall down."

He steered him back to the chair and John as he sat down glanced at his damp sleeve and vaguely commented, "Jim was right after all, gonna need a few stitches."

"Your medical kit in the bathroom?"

When John just mutely nodded he went off to retrieve it, pausing by Sam's bedroom door on his way back wondering how he was coping after his harsh exchange with his dad but didn't have the emotional courage to knock on the door and find out. Instead he returned to the kitchen thinking it best to patch up at least one wound he could fix today.

"Looks like a bullet wound. Didn't think Demons used them as part of their arsenal." he queried.

John shrugged, "Twenty first century demon. So how many stitches do you think its gonna need?"

"About five or six."

"Good," murmured John his mind clearly somewhere else.

"Less stitches than its gonna take to patch up the wounds you've just inflicted on your youngest I bet," murmured Joshua as he dropped the sodden bandage in the bin.

John scowled at this friend, "You heard what he just said to me. My dad would have skinned me alive if I ever dared talk to him like that."

"Yeah the kid's got balls that's for sure. It's made him strong enough to face down some drunken bastard itching to get his hand down his pants and then face off against an equally vicious tongued father. Most would have broken by now, double whammied like that in as many days, but not your kid."

"You don't understand what's going on here. If he lies to me about something like this what else will he lie about?"

As he threaded the needle Joshua shook his head, "Well that's not technically true is it, him lying to you. I scuppered whatever chance the kid had of telling you himself the moment I opened my big mouth."

John looked up at his friend his face ashen, not just from blood loss, his bitter exchange with his son had hurt more than any bullet wound, "You said he didn't want me to know. How was I supposed to deal with that?"

Joshua paused and wiped away a dribble of blood from the wound before putting in the next stitch, "Like a father perhaps instead some gnarled up grizzled hunter too judgemental to even listen to what your son was trying so desperately trying to make you hear in the end."

When John went to argue Josh cut him off, "Come on, you know Sam would have told you given half the chance, given the right circumstances. The kid can't lie to save his soul. He's an open book of honesty, so fucking bright it's blinding at times."

"So you're blaming everyone except my boy here?" John sucked back a curse as Joshua hooked the needle a little harder than necessary through his flesh and threw a look at his friend to see real anger simmering in his eyes, "I take it your pissed?"

"What makes you think that?" snorted back Joshua, "You suddenly Mr Perceptive because I must have missed that when you tore into your son without a thought to how traumatic an experience it must have been for him. Fuck your standard 'He's Winchester, suck it up' crap you feed down his throat, the boy found a monster all of his own stalking him this past week and dealt with it. On his own."

John sighed and admitted wearily, "I just saw red, him getting in that van was just crazy." He rubbed his eyes free of moisture as he added, "I just get so scared for him at times. How do I stop him from getting hurt? How do I keep him safe if when he is so bloody open, so trusting?"

Putting the last stitch into the wound Joshua snipped off the thread before putting a fresh dressing over the wound. "Seems to me that you did the same. You drove away assuming that Burnett was Mr Normal and that Sam was safe around him."

John stiffened and Joshua shut the medical kit with a loud click before heading for the fridge and pulled out a couple of beers. In truth he needed something to settle his nerves after witnessing the blow up between John and his son. He wasn't a man easily rattled but the Winchesters had a way of using words that bit down to the marrow.

Handing one over to John he sat down and offered up his final reveal, "Before my little shopping trip back at Burnett's place I found things that made my skin crawl. The man kept diaries and other stuff including photos and trophies he had taken of his past victims over the years."

John shook his head hardly believing his ears, "When did I forget that not all monsters are supernatural?"

Joshua paused and threw him a knowing look before continuing, "Burnett had been watching Sam from the moment you came into town."

"And I didn't see it, none of what was going on," John admitted before a shiver went down his spine as he took onboard Josh's words. "Oh god you said he took photos, some of Sam too?"

Sucking in a tired breath Josh nodded, "Yeah he had pictures of Sam. Innocent enough thankfully. Some of him waiting for the school bus, a few with you in the truck, others taken I guess from his van as he watched the cabin. He'd been after your boy from the get go. "

For a moment John just looked at his friend before he lurched to his feet and lost his first cup of coffee of the day and half a bottle of beer down the kitchen sink. The man had been outside this place looking in at his boy and he been not around to stop it.

Josh chewed on his lips as he watched his old friend slowly turn around the despair clear on his face. Putting his bottle back on the table he straightened up, "Look John if you don't mind I'm gonna go and check on Sammy. The kid has been to hell and back this week and he must be in a dark ugly place right now. The things you both said are going to leave a lasting mark."

John straightened up and shook his head eyes blurry with unshed tears that he wasn't afraid to show to his old friend, "No please don't. I should do that. Sam was right I didn't listen, just assumed and then… Well sometimes I forget what being his dad is all about."

A small smile of relief lifted Joshua's features as he watched John leave. Picking up his bottle of beer again he could feel his burden of guilt slowly being lifted as John went off to make it right with his son.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Jim had stayed around long enough to herd the Murdochs out of town on a false trail of another job, their time spent incarcerated explained away as the demon's work especially with a contrite Deputy O'Brien at the Sheriff's side to offer up an apology.

It had been a long week and he would be glad to get back to the comforts of his parish. When his cell vibrated in his pocket he was almost tempted to ignore it but his conscience won over and he answered. "Hey Joshua, you just caught me about to head home."

"Good," snapped out Josh in a rush, "Get over to Baudette as fast as you can. I need your help."

"John? That stubborn fool, I knew I shouldn't have let him drive off like that."

"No Jim, I sorted John out with a few stitches. It's Sam. I've been up and down half the roads of Burdette looking for him and it's getting late."

"Samuel? What's going on Joshua? I know things have been strained between him and his dad but I just hoped a week away from each other might have made them both see sense and things would settle down."

"No, I messed up big time and because of it Sam and John got into one hell of a fight and things were said. John told the kid to get out of his sight and Sam took him literally at his word."

"The Winchesters are going to be the death of me…" muttered Jim under his breath as headed back towards his car, his long stride eating up the yards in a hurry.

"Well John is going crazy. Please just head over here. I'll explain everything when you get here. Stuff has happened Jim, that I really can't speak about over the open airwaves."

"I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can. Where's John right now?"

"I told him to stay at the cabin in case the kid came back."

Jim nodded his silent thanks, "Good, him driving around like a madman would only add to our problems. I'll ring you when I get to Baudette. If you find Sam before then let me know."

"Will do old man."

Climbing into the driver's seat of his four by four Jim hastily turned on the engine. It would be twilight soon enough and the loss of daylight meant finding Sam would be even harder. The boy was a hunter's son after all. He could be on the road to anywhere if he put his mind to it.

TBC

So any takers for throwing squashed tomatoes and rotten fruit at John as I lead him up to the stocks? No really I do love John its that he is such a deeply flawed man, that when it comes to parenting he really does need Dean at his side to stop him from making so many mistakes with his youngest boy. Next chapter deals with Sam and his struggles with his own world of hurt, both physical and mental.