sorry sorry sorry - I didn't abandon this story, I just thought I posted this chapter already and after that real life was crazy and I hardly had time to write and my beta reader started college again and all together took us longer to finish these chapters
But I promise I will upload the next chapter this coming week and there will be three more chapters until this story comes to an end!
He couldn't tear his eyes from her. He could sense she was still mad at him and he knew it would be hard work to gain her trust again. But he was more than willing to do exactly that - everything to gain her trust back. This woman was worth fighting for.
He got a bit jealous when he saw how she talked with Liam in a casual way, they laughed, they smiled, and they definitely had fun.
"Oh brother - stop brooding and be a gentleman while I fetch us some drinks." Liam stared at Killian and he nodded slowly. Finally he met Emma's eyes, he couldn't stop himself. A big smile grew on his face. God, she was so beautiful. Even when she avoided him the whole evening, he felt so calm and happy around her. The moment she reciprocated the smile his knees went weak. He was thankful that he was already seated, otherwise he would have definitely tripped and embarrassed himself.
They started a light conversation which grew more and more heated. It was fun talking to her about his love for boats although she was totally clueless as to what he was saying . Every time her sparkling green eyes met his, he felt the urge to grab her hand but he didn't give in.
After a while and some drinks he saw her shiver and decided to give her his jacket. "Always a gentleman," Emma said while she gave him the brightest smile he has ever seen.
The night flew by quickly and before he knew what happened he bid her farewell.
The moment he stepped into his apartment he got rid of the contents of his jacket only to find an unknown phone in his right pocket. He inspected it and when he tried to unlock it he saw a picture of Emma and a co worker on the lock screen.
He studied her face and couldn't help but notice her perfect skin, her lack of makeup. Her skin was slightly lighter than ivory with a rose coloured tint to her cheeks. Her big green eyes were lively, warm, and sparkled with bliss when she smiled.
He traced her face with his finger tips before he sat the phone on his nightstand and crawled under his sheets, still thinking about her, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
The next morning he decided to go to Emma's apartment to return her phone. After a quick shower in the morning, he went directly to Emma's apartment.
He had never been more nervous in his life. The moment she opened the door he handed her the phone and earned the prettiest, most relieved smile from this gorgeous woman.
They decided to go to a cafe for breakfast. He never expected that a few hours later they were not only holding hands but also kissing for the first time.
The universe must have decided to give them a chance at happiness. From this moment on they were inseparable.
There was no moment he didn't think about his beautiful Swan. They texted, they phoned, they met as often as possible. The weekends were theirs and they were at his or her place the whole time.
Killian also told Emma about a business trip to Montana and he bluntly asked her to join him. The business partner - John Ralston - was a very nice guy although he never separated business from private. Killian had to spend the whole week there but he only needed to meet Ralston twice at the company and also had to accept an invitation to a dinner at Ralston's home with his wife.
Surprisingly Emma did say yes. She was in a desperate need of a vacation.
The bigger disappointment came later, when Emma told him that her vacation - their vacation - was cancelled.
"Killian? What's wrong brother?" Liam leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Emma cancelled our vacation." He ran his hand through his hair. To say he was disappointed was an understatement. He got up, walking towards his brother. "How about lunch at Hood's? I think I need a break with my elder brother."
"Fine by me." Liam patted him on his shoulder and closed the door behind him. The two Jones' brothers walked to the nearby restaurant. Killian was still thinking about Emma, the cancelled vacation, and how the next week would be without her.
"Do you think she got cold feet?" Liam's question startled him. He looked up, spoon halfway to his mouth. Abruptly, he put the spoon down again, staring at his older brother.
"You think she lied?"
"That is not what I said, I just asked if you think she got cold feet, that's all."
Killian looked at Liam angrily. "No I don't think so. Emma said Milah cancelled the trip and I believe her. I have no reason for not believing her."
"Yes you are right, brother." Liam watched Killian while he was finishing his soup. "Let's talk about something else."
"Aye. What about the Arendelle coup, any success?"
Liam nearly choked. He raised an eyebrow, not saying anything at all.
"Oh come on brother, you were so exciting about the whole deal, not only because of the company, but also because of the this beautiful, blonde secretary."
"CEO," Liam corrected his brother, biting his tongue the next moment. How could he be that stupid.
"So the little missy is the CEO of this bloody company?! Wow and I thought my love life was complicated."
"I am not in love with Elsa. We are just friends and I am also not sure of that. We only met a couple of times."
Killian tilted his head. He watched his brother closely. "But you like her. I can see it written all over your face."
They got their main dishes. Killian was distracted by his steak. Liam eyed him closely. "What will you do about the vacation now?"
"I don't think there is anything I can do. I have to go to Montana alone, be there for a week, spend time with Ralston and his wife Maddie, and I will come back with the deal in my pocket."
"His wife's name is Mandy but apart from that you will do fine. Nobody can resist your charm." Liam raised his glass and looked at Killian over the rim before he had a sip. His brother definitely had changed – only Liam didn't know if it was for the better.
The rest of their lunch break they fell into easy conversation. Both brothers avoiding specific topics. They parted after lunch, Killian eager to meet with Emma, Liam back on his way to the office, brooding over Killian's words.
Killian smiled broadly when he saw Emma waiting for him in front of the airport. When she spotted him she waved shyly, not to attract any attention. His luggage forgotten, he scooped her up into his arms, whirling her around. The giggle that escaped her mouth sounded like heaven to him. He kissed her briefly before he put her back on her feet only to cradle her head and pull her back into a heated kiss.
"I've missed you." He said while pressing his forehead to hers. "I've missed you so much." Emma nodded, pressing her body against his, searching for his lips again for another kiss.
"Me too, Killian." They stayed like this for a moment longer before Killian broke their hug and took her hand. His luggage in one hand, his love's hand in his other, they walked to her car to drive to her apartment.
Killian watched his girlfriend sleep, stroking her revealed skin. She was so soft, so warm, so perfect. He loved every inch of her. He traced her curves making her stir in her sleep. He traced the scarred flesh over her left breast, on her upper arm before he eventually put his hand on her covered stomach.
He was thinking of Emma and how fast he fell for her. She was special, precious, a gift he would never take for granted. He leant closer, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I love you." He would never admit it out loud, afraid of scaring her away, afraid of losing her.
He closed his eyes, shifting a bit when he suddenly felt her body pressing into his. "I love you too." Emma was still asleep, her breath even, her eyes closed. Killian on the other hand was suddenly fully awake. His eyes wide open, his breath quicker than usual. A big smile appearing on his face. Whether intended or not, she had said the three words which made him utterly happy. He kissed her again and closed his eyes. This time falling into a peaceful, long sleep.
Killian's heart skipped a beat. He watched his girlfriend standing in the middle of the office, no one paying attention to her. She was holding a baby wrapped up in a blue blanket. She looked lost and she looked uncomfortable. Without a second thought he went to her, taking the baby and burden from her.
She seemed much more relaxed, maybe even relieved. He needed to find the time to talk about kids with her. He didn't want some now, it was way too early to think about kids. But he needed to know if she wanted some or not. He pushed the thought away, smiling at her. It did good seeing her. He was only here to meet Milah, but meeting Emma was a welcome bonus. He wished Liam wasn't that stubborn and had accepted to come here to get the bloody signature - they only needed a single one from Milah. If Liam had been the one to come here it would have only taken a minute – with Killian here and Kathryn, he would be lucky to be back at the office in an hour. Handling Milah was one thing, handling Milah and her best friend was another thing entirely. He inhaled sharply, looked at Emma one last time, and entered Milah's office with Frederick in his arms, willing to bring the boy back to his mom who was still chatting with her best friend.
"Killian!" Milah jumped when she saw him, Kathryn only looked up at him. Milah furrowed her brow when she realized he held Kathryn's son. "Don't tell me your new girlfriend asked for help and you're acting as her knight in shining armour. Isn't she even able to handle a baby for five minutes?"
Killian narrowed his eyes. He tried to stay calm, he tried to not yell at his ex-girlfriend because there was a little lad in his hands. He took a deep breath, looking at Frederick – who calmed him instantly – before he spoke.
"First of all my relationship with Emma is none of your business. Second I am here because you forgot to sign the resignation for our deal." He pulled a folded contract from his back pocket, tossing it on Milah's desk. Milah huffed in annoyance taking the document, straightening it and reading it briefly.
"Well, you didn't deny it, Killian. Are you and Emma a thing?" Kathryn's voice was full of surprise. It seemed as if Milah hadn't mentioned this before. She got up and took her son, who stirred in his sleep. "Thanks, by the way. I really needed a minute alone."
Killian raised an eyebrow, surprised by Kathryn's niceness. He looked at her closely. She seemed older, exhausted, and tired. Being a mother didn't do her any good. He just nodded and turned his attention back to Milah. "This is ridiculous. I surely won't pay for cancelling the deal. And I definitely won't pay that amount."
Killian rolled his eyes. "You decided to break the deal – you decided to not accept my help any longer. It's not my fault you didn't read the general terms and conditions of the contract."
"Get out of my office and take your girlfriend with you. She can take the rest of the day off, I am not interested in seeing her happy face the whole day long," Milah spat out as she signed the contract.
"Thank you, Milah," he said and took the contract. He turned to Kathryn and Frederick and stroked the little lad's cheek. "Bye little one. Bye Kathryn."
With these words he left the office, searched for Emma and left the building ten minutes later arm in arm with his love.
Sorry, love – I'm stuck in this meeting. I won't make it for lunch. Don't be mad. I will make up for it.
My brother needs me – something didn't work out like he wished. Can I call you later? Text me before you go to bed so at least I can say good night. I miss you, my love.
I am so sorry. I am the worst boyfriend on Earth. How about dinner tomorrow night? I will cook.
The last days were devastating – Killian and Emma hardly saw each other, only texted or called. Killian was very busy. There was something about a deal in Florida, but he hadn't told Emma anything concrete.
When she accepted his offer to cook for her he was sure they would have a perfect evening and night. But, he was growing more irritated about her distance and her lack of interest.
"Love, are you okay? You seem a bit off." He needed to know, he hated seeing her that sad. When she started to tell him everything about her fight with her best friend and how less time she had for her the last weeks, he felt guilty.
Killian never wanted to be the kind of boyfriend who engaged his girlfriend too much so she had no time for her friends or hobbies. He had to admit that Emma never complained these last few weeks, but little did he know.
They still were in phase one of their relationship – so many things were unspoken, so many things hadn't been shared with each other.
There was still the big Florida deal hanging over them and their relationship. He was too much coward to tell her but he knew he needed to talk to her about it – about his future – their future.
His thoughts came back to their actual conversation. He could see her distress and he needed to ease her pain. The only thing he could think of was to find a way to bring David and Mary Margaret together. But his mind was blank. He hoped that Emma and he could find an idea together.
Their couch conversation led to more enjoyable activities. And those activities, in turn, lead to a change in venue and they soon found themselves lying on his bed, their feet tangled up, their faces mere inches from each other.
"I cannot believe David hid something that huge from her. He is married, he has a son, even when he thinks it isn't his – he cheated on his wife. Mary Margaret is shattered, her whole world fell apart."
"I know, sweetling. I cannot understand either." He stroked her bare stomach, kissed her cheek and laid his head back on the pillow.
"I am glad we don't have any secrets. You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"
"Aye, love, as you me. You can ask me anything – I would never deny an answer."
Emma shifted and snuggled closer. "I know, Killian, I know. Let's get some sleep, okay?"
"Aye." He kissed her hair and placed his arm on her waist. Long after she had fallen asleep he thought about her words. He knew he had to tell her – he had to tell her soon. But now they had to find a way to make up with Mary Margaret and David.
It was a great evening until Emma started to ask questions. Only days before they told each other to be honest with each other, to answer honestly and that secrets were no good in their relationship.
Now she wanted to know everything about his breakup with Milah. There were so many versions, so many different reasons – all made up by Milah to make him look bad. But there was only one truth and this truth was so insignificant, so stupid, that it seemed like a lie.
Milah always wanted more, wanted to be part of the High society, wanted to go to gala dinners, to charity events, she wanted to be seen and she wanted to make a name for herself. Killian, on the other hand, was happy with quiet moments with her alone. After a hard week of work, he longed for a quiet dinner, a couch, Netflix, and a bed. But Milah always made plans for barbecues, dinner appointments with important people.
Killian hated it – he felt used, he felt dragged into things he didn't want . The last big fight between the two of them had ended with their break-up. Milah had told him that she wanted to have another weekend on a boat with seven other important people from the city, including the mayor, and Killian told her that he already had booked a cabin in the woods. He was tired of their fights – he was tired of having to remind her about their vacation plans and he was tired of her change in plans for stupid reasons.
Who cared if the mayor was there, or that the man who owned half of the waterfront was present? He didn't care – he was only happy that his business flourished, that he and his brother made themselves a name in the city and over the whole country. Their business was always important but it was never the most important thing for either of them.
Milah was the most important thing for him – his relationship with her, his love for her. He was willing to fight for what they had but during their last argument he stopped fighting. They had drifted too far apart – they were too far gone to have a real relationship. Their ideas were too different, and so he ended the relationship.
Of course he was the bad guy in each of Milah's stories. She was always the victim, the poor woman who did not see the end coming so soon.
After their break-up there was no love left – he was so angry with her, he was so disappointed in her. She had betrayed him, had tried to talk him down in front of so many important people just to glorify herself. It was disgusting.
"So that's the big issue. That's why you two broke up?" Emma laid on her side, her head placed on Killian's thigh. She drew silly patterns on his stomach while he stroked her hair.
"Aye, love. That's the reason. I told you before that Milah never cherished our relationship until it was over."
"Why did you accept her deal?" Emma's question startled him. He lifted his head to see her better before he put an arm behind his head. Why did he accept Milah's offer? It was an easy question and it was easy to answer but he knew Emma would misunderstand his intentions.
If he said something wrong now, she would run. He wasn't sure if she understood. He wasn't sure if she saw the big picture. Would she stop listening after he told her the reason? He wanted to explain everything but he feared she would not listen. His stubborn Swan.
She wanted honesty, so he answered honestly. "I think I just wanted to see her fail, I also hoped to get new employees, but it never came to that."
So, now she knew, now she could judge him and tell him how awful that was. He knew himself that it was wrong but he only accepted her deal because of Emma. She was the reason, no old feud, no headhunting or anything else. If he hadn't met her that evening by the elevators, he never would have accepted the deal.
He was surprised that Emma accepted his answer and his explanation that he wanted to get to know her better, that this was the reason he wanted to work with her. Everything had turned out so great, yes, maybe he should have done things differently. But, he couldn't change it now.
The next question irritated him the most. Why was she so eager to know everything? What had Milah planted in her beautiful head that caused her to ask all these questions? Should he tell her about the deal? Should he tell her that Milah needs to close her department by the end of the year? Milah was a good business woman, the problem was that some things got out of hand.
She had hired too many people with the same abilities, she wasn't focused on the end goal, she only lived in the here and now. It had been great at the beginning, catching new customers was important, but keeping them longer than three years was the key to success. Now customers ran away, aware that they were only numbers in her department. Ugly Christmas cards and ridiculous discounts for her best customers were no reason to stay. Now she needed people who were not only salesmen but also had the feeling to give the customers what they wanted, to make them feel like part of a family, to strengthen their loyalty.
But these people were rare. Killian saw three maybe four in the whole department and he wanted them all – including Emma.
"I am sorry but I can't tell you details about the deal. But I can say, yes, I wanted to head hunt and I still want you at my company." The words were out before he could think about them again.
The look on her face and the abrupt movement told him everything. It was a mistake telling her. It was a mistake to lay his cards on the table.
"That was such a cheap trick, Killian. I thought highly of you but that's beneath you." Her words rang in his ears. She was right – it was a cheap trick, he wasn't proud of himself, but it was Milah's fault. She made the wrong decisions. She was the one who ruined the department. Yes, he should have helped her but there was nothing he could do about it.
God, he was such an idiot. He had accepted a job he was never able to do properly. He had put his goals over Milah's. Emma was right. It was beneath him. He was blinded by her beauty and her mystery. If she went to Milah now, he was screwed.
He wasn't sure if he could trust her, but he had to. She could destroy him and his business. Liam would never forgive him. What had he done? He got up, looking for Emma but she was gone. Not only had he screwed up his job and gambled with his business but he may have also lost his girlfriend.
He tried so hard to reach her. He left several messages, called like a thousand times. He knew he was overreacting and that she needed some space but he was afraid. Afraid of losing her, afraid she might tell Milah about his behaviour – about losing everything. He should trust her but he felt numb. He had no idea who he could trust or if he could trust her. He wanted to, he wanted to tell her everything, apologize, make it up to her, but she declined every single try.
The next day he got the information that he had to fly to Los Angeles to meet with Oliver Trition. Triton wasn't only a business partner, he also was the father of Killian's godchild. Ariel was such a sweet girl. She turned nineteen last month, was eager to learn and madly in love with Eric Max, who "wasn't worth the girl." According to her father of course. Killian, on the other hand, liked Eric. He was nice, polite, and his intentions were pure. He loved Ariel genuinely. Ariel was easy to manipulate, especially by her father, but Eric was honest.
Ariel had no mother, so she always tried to be a good girl, always tried to impress her father and behave. Eric was the only thing she wanted to fight for but she also was too frightened to do so.
Negotiations with Oliver ended badly. They both drank too much and delved too deeply into conversations and agreed too readily to things Killian didn't really want to have or do. This time it was the latter. Triton asked him to escort his daughter to the grand opening of "the Mermaid" a club he bought for his little girl for her birthday.
The grand opening was delayed because there had been problems with some licenses and outdated plumbing. Killian couldn't resist making a joke about having a flood at "the Mermaids" during the Grand Opening.
Now he was sitting with Ariel in a limo, she was staring furiously on her phone display.
"He isn't coming, I assume?" Killian glanced at Ariel who narrowed her eyes.
"He has to work tonight – couldn't get the night off." She huffed in annoyance, flopping back into the cushions of the car.
"Don't be mad at him, I know him, he would never lie to you. If he says he has to work, he has to work."
"I know, it isn't like I don't trust him, it's just that I was looking forward to seeing him tonight. I bought new underwear and..."
"Why girl, too much information. I surely don't want to know anything about your sex life. You are still my little girl. My sweet, little, innocent, five-year-old girl who loved to swim and sail with me."
"Oh uncle Killy, I am still your little girl. But I'm not that innocent anymore and maybe not that little."
"Oi, little love. Never ever call me Killy again. If you call me that again, I will have to talk to your father about..." he waved his hand up and down her body, showing her what he meant.
"You are mean."
"And you, my little love, know that I just want the best for you."
He looked out of the window. The lights flew by quickly. He longed to call Emma, to tell her that he was back but that he had to watch his godchild tonight. It wouldn't be a lie, only a matter of interpretation.
"Will you see Emma tomorrow?"
"Huh?" Killian turned his head, looking at Ariel.
"Will you meet Emma tomorrow or will you still brood over your fight with her?"
"I had no fight with her and – how do you know about it?"
"My dad isn't the best secret keeper and he is very loud when he is drunk. I heard the whole conversation you and he had yesterday evening."
"Oh" Killian looked at the floor and back up. "To be honest, I don't know. I hope she will meet me tomorrow and we can talk – but I am not sure she wants to see me again."
"Oh. Okay, can I give you some advice?" Killian laughed slightly but eventually he nodded and looked at Ariel expectantly.
"Be honest with her, don't buy her expensive gifts or spoil her rotten just to make up to her. You are a great guy, Killian and I know so many women who gave anything to be with you."
Killian smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Maybe you can introduce me to one of them when Emma dumps me tomorrow."
"Oh come on, silly head. She won't dump you. Now, please promise me not to brood the whole evening. Enjoy the night out with your godchild and please, no drama, aye?"
"Aye, little love." He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead again. When they left the limousine, he tightened his grip and shoved her inside. He hated to be out in the public. He was no star and neither was Ariel but they were treated as such.
The evening was fun, until he saw her. When their eyes connected he knew he was screwed, he knew he had made a mistake by not telling her that he was back. He had never seen this look on her face. He saw disbelief and hurt before Emma tried to get away. He knew - if he didn't stop her now, he'll lose her forever.
When he finally caught her, he was shocked. Emma was paler than a sheet, her eyes wide in shock. She seemed irritated and lost. He wanted to hold her, explain himself. He wanted to go outside and talk to her but before he could say something else, Mary Margret got his attention.
"Killian, what are you doing here? Emma told us you are out of town until Sunday." He scratched behind his ear.
"Aye that was the plan, but the negotiations went badly and..."
"...and now you are back, dating Ariel Triton?" The tone of Mary Margaret's voice was harsh and angry.
"What? No! Ariel is my godchild. Did you really think so low of me? Ariel is half my age, I could never date someone that young. Besides, I am with Emma, I would never cheat on her."
Mary Margaret blushed, looking at Ruby guiltily. "Well, then, you should go find her. She thinks that she screwed up – she thinks she lost you the moment she started the fight. She wasn't herself the last week. No matter what I tried, Emma was absent-minded."
"Oh." Killian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked around scanning the crowded room for Emma.
"Go, find her – make her whole again." Mary Margaret told him, smiling. When Ruby leaned closer and whispered something into her ear, Mary Margaret blushed. "I... oh my god, Ruby! No, I didn't mean it like that, I..." she turned to Killian and shooed him away. "Go! Find her!"
Killian nodded and hurried towards the exit. He passed several people, but Emma wasn't there. He closed his eyes, he sighed and opened his eyes again finally meeting Ariel's. She nodded towards a person across from her. Relieved, Killian hurried to them.
"Emma! Thank god Ariel, you kept her here. Love, why did you want to leave?" He had to ask, no matter what Mary Margaret already told him, he needed to hear it from Emma herself. The desire to hold her was nearly overwhelming, but he resisted. He looked at Ariel who watched Emma sadly. He could see that Ariel understood her, that she knew what Emma was going through.
"You are in no position to ask me anything. How dare you lie to me? What... what's this?" She pointed between Ariel and him.
Oh my god, she really thought the same as Mary Margaret. He felt angry and sad at the confusion. He didn't understand why Emma didn't trust him, why she thought that he could do something like that. Hadn't he shown her what kind of man he was?
"Oh love, no, no, no, I think you misunderstand." He crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in his. He knew he had to show Emma how he felt – he hadn't planned to tell her tonight or in the middle of a fight or in a location like this, but he had to tell her. Emma tried to pull away, but Killian didn't let go. "Ariel is my godchild. Her father asked me to escort her today and keep an eye on her."
Emma shook her head, she seemed not to understand. She seemed disorientated and irritated. "But you said you would be away until Sunday." Emma said weakly. Killian could see that she was holding back tears. His heart broke. He never wanted to make her feel like that.
"Aye. We weren't able to arrange a deal, so I decided to come back earlier and surprise you. Then I got this phone call and, I have to admit, I forgot to call. But I would have tomorrow. I promise. Emma, I lo..." he stopped himself, looking at Ariel who only nodded grinning like the Cheshire cat.
Killian cleared his throat. Now or never, he must tell her. She must know how he felt. Emma looked at him again and opened her mouth but Killian put his fingers on her lips, like she did about a week ago.
"Listen to me, Emma. I know we need to talk about what happened. And I know you are mad at me. I also know I should have told you the truth, but," he again looked at Ariel before he continued, "I didn't want to screw things up. I love you, Emma Swan and I never wanted to hurt you. I am sorry I didn't tell you about my intentions. I am very, very sorry."
She didn't answer right away, to be honest she didn't answer at all. Now Killian wanted to run, he wanted to scream and hide and never come back again. He lost her, the moment he told her he loved her, he lost her. He swallowed thickly, a huge lump building in his throat. Why did he have to tell her? Why couldn't he wait? It was too early, she was too hurt from their earlier argument.
Suddenly, she kissed him, taking him completely by surprise. She was unsteady on her feet. He couldn't smell or taste any alcohol, so her uncertain state was caused by him and her assumption that he was with someone else. Before he was able to form a decent thought, she broke the kiss.
"Be patient," she whispered and turned around.
He watched her leave, watched her walk outside. He wanted to run after her, wanted to tell her that he didn't want to be patient, that he needed everything from her, that he needed the guarantee that she wouldn't run from their relationship, that she actually needed time.
But the only thing he did was sit down. Ariel placed a tumblr in front of him. He looked up, then downed most of the amber liquid.
"She will call you, I think she was just overwhelmed. The look in her eyes gave her away. She loves you too."
"Oh, little love, I hope you are right. I don't want to lose her."
Ariel came to him and hugged him tight. "You won't Killian. Now, drink up and dance with me."
