Chapter 8: Fights and Escapes
By: Nicki
"Arwen?" said Nicola quietly one night. They had lost track of how many days they had been traveling.
"What?"
"I broke a nail," Nicola whined.
"Shut up."
"No! I broke a nail, my dress is torn, and I NEED ROOM SERVICE!" (Spaceballs moment, lol)
"Nicki-"
"And I need a haircut and-"
"Nicola Janine Greenleaf-"
"NO! NOT THE FULL NAME!"
"Nicola the orcs are talking!"
"Oh."
"How long until we reach Isengard?"
"Four days, perhaps?"
"Shit, they're not going to Helms Deep!" Nicola muttered.
"Will Sarumon give us directions from there?"
"Yes."
"What will we do with the Elves?"
"Sarumon will do as he pleases."
"Crap, that's not good!" Said Nicola. Legolas, they're not going to Isengard!
Man! Grr…
Stop, you're scaring me!
Sorry. Well, try to escape.
That's very encouraging.
Nicola, I can't really say anything encouraging at this point.
Fine, whatever. Ah, shit. We're about to move again, talk to ya later. Bye.
Bye. Legolas sighed and looked around, trying to find Celynnen. When he found her, he laughed to himself. She was way behind Gimli. He ran back to her and said, "Need any help?"
Celynnen scowled at him. "I'm fine, Legolas. I don't need any help. Nope, not me."
"OK, I'll just leave you alone then." He left her there and walked up to Gimli. Suddenly a "Whoa, shit!" ran through the air and there was a thump. Legolas turned around and laughed heartily at what he saw.
"A little help here!" Celynnen shrieked. She had tripped and fallen on her ass… again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Okay, that was possibly the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me, Celynnen thought to herself. Unfortunately, Arwen heard everything.
What? What happened? C'mon, tell your lil sister! Then I can tell Nicola! Celynnen could almost hear Arwen's evil chuckle.
If Aragorn only knew how evil you are! Hmmm, he is standing right there… Oh Aragorn!
Celynnen, you asshole, don't you dare!
Then you don't tell Nicki!
Fine!
Fine!
Fine!
Get on with it!
Okay, okay… Legolas came up to me because I was falling behind and asked me if I needed any help and I said no so he walked away and two seconds later I fell. Then he laughed at me.
OMG, haha!
Shut your ass, Arwen.
Don't boss me around!
Honey, I am 3 minutes older than you, it's my job.
Whatever, you! Nicki!
ARWEN!
What?
HEY ARAGORN!
CELYNNEN NERYSSA EVENSTAR!
ARWEN TATIANA EVENSTAR!
Ooooh, you are dead
Bye! Celynnen laughed inwardly at her sister. Loser!
Grrrrrrr… One orc picked up Arwen and another picked Nicola up.
"NOOO!!!" Nicki shouted rather loudly. "NOT MORE LOOKING AT ORC ASS!"
Nick, it's getting old," Arwen said.
"I don't care, it's true!"
The orc growled at them and Nicola shut up rather quickly.
No need to get that long, pointy, hunk of metal out! Nicola thought.
Sword Legolas corrected.
Yeah, whatever. No need to get it out Mr. Cross-between-a-mutated-elf-and-a-goblin-creature!
Uruk Hai.
Uh huh, yeah, OK!
Fortunately the Uruk Hai did not get his long, pointy, hunk of metal (sword) out.
Then, Katie cake out holding a sword and ordered everyone to go find a neon green lemur in Australia. NO KATIE! But that would be cool…
"Hey Arwen," Nicola whispered. "Do you happen to have a sword lying around?"
"Nope, sorry."
"Dammit."
"Why?"
"I wanna chop of this damn orc's head."
"I wouldn't recommend that."
"Why?"
"Look how many more of them there are!"
"Oh."
**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Meanwhile, back in the other world, Celynnen had finally accepted help from Legolas.
"I really don't need help you know!" Celynnen said. "I'm just doing this because you insisted."
"Uh huh," Legolas said, sounding unconvinced. "Whatever."
"Hey look, a swallow carrying a coconut!" Gimli exclaimed.
"What? Where?" Said Legolas, nearly dropping Celynnen.
"Hey, watch it!" He was joking!" Celynnen shouted. Gimli chuckled. "Ooh, Gimli you are so dead. Legolas put me down."
"Your welcome?" Legolas said as he put Celynnen down. "Besides, how are you going to kill Gimli when he can run faster than you?"
Celynnen grinned evilly. "Oh, I can run fast when I want to." Gimli looked worried now. "Start running, dwarf!" Celynnen gave a shout and started running. She was surprisingly fast for someone with a hurt leg. Gimli was shocked, you could tell.
"Oh crap!" Gimli shouted and began running (or rather, waddling) away.
"Gimli, autu migula orgu!" Celynnen shouted.
Legolas gasped loudly and Aragorn chuckled. Gimli stopped abruptly and Celynnen ran into him and fell on her ass for the second time today.
"What? Wha'd she say?" Gimli said stupidly. (What do you expect, he is a dwarf.)
"Um… go kiss an orc," said Legolas, trying not to burst out laughing. Gimli was, after all, his friend.
"Oh, Celynnen now you're gonna get it!"
He jumped on top of Celynnen (who was still on the ground).
"HEY! OW!" Celynnen shouted.
Gimli laughed and they began wrestling. Celynnen had Gimli in a headlock when Aragorn finally broke them up.
"Ow…" Celynnen groaned, rubbing her leg. Gimli laughed evilly.
"No, Gimli, that really hurt," Celynnen whined.
"Oh, sorry."
"You're forgive, but only after I do this!"
Celynnen pushed Gimli and he fell on his ass.
"Heh heh heh…" Celynnen laughed.
"That wasn't funny," Gimli said, brushing himself off.
"Yes it was," Jesse said, unable to contain himself any longer.
Gimli stuck up his nose and walked around all prissy-like. Brynn burst into laughter.
"Come now, it wasn't that funny," Gimli said.
"Yeah it was!" Brynn said, still howling with laughter.
"Quit encouraging him!" Jesse whispered to Brynn.
"But it's funny!"
"Who cares?"
"Fine!"
The company continued walking until their little footsies hurt, then they stopped to make camp for the night.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
"Arwen! "Arwen wake up!"
Nicola shook Arwen awake, and Arwen groaned. "I don't want to get up Mommy, I don't want to go to school today."
"Arwen Tatiana Evenstar, get up now!"
Arwen rolled over, opened her eyes, and saw Nicola's face swimming above hers.
"Woah," stand still for a minute," she said, blinking rapidly.
"Get up!"
"What time is it?"
"Around midnight."
"Why are we up?"
"Cuz we're escaping!"
"Oh. How?"
"Look who just showed up."
Arwen sat up and looked above her. There was Tinuviel, Nicola's horse.
"Where'd she come from?"
"That way, I think," said Nicola, pointing west. She held out her hand and Arwen grasped it. Nicola pulled her up and Arwen grabbed her bag.
Nicola leapt onto her horse and Arwen leapt on behind her.
"Norlim, Tinuviel," Nicki urged her horse.
Thank goodness for morning dew.
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Legolas awoke with a start. It was around midnight and he'd just received a strong thought from his sister.
What? He asked.
Why are you awake?
Cuz you woke me up!
Sorry. I said thank goodness for morning dew.
Why?
Cuz Tinuviel just showed up, so Arwen and I are escaping.
What does that have to do with dew?
It muffles the hoofbeats. Honestly, you call yourself five minutes older. Geze.
It's not my fault!
Is to.
Is not.
Go to bed
OK, fine.
And it is your fault! Bye!
