Disclaimer: There is no reason to sue me.
The Doctor gingerly pokes his head round the door and ducks to avoid a soaked dishcloth. "You know, generally breakfast involves putting the food in your mouth, not all over each other."
Jack and Romana freeze guiltily and slowly turn towards the door. Jack has a bad case of sugar dandruff, the latest in bacon shoulder pads and an interesting baked bean tie-dye pattern across his t-shirt. Romana's hair hangs down in rat's tails. Here and there, a soggy cornflake is visible.
"He started it," Romana points at Jack.
"I… I…You liar!" Jack splutters as the Doctor raises an eyebrow.
"You did! You took unfair advantage of your height to pour milk over my head."
"Well, who climbed on the table and dumped the sugar bowl on my head?"
The Doctor spots a piece of the sugar bowl residing in a puddle of what looks like a mix of baked bean juice and milk. He sighs. He had liked that sugar bowl.
"Who…"
"Romana, go and shower. Jack, clean this up."
Romana skips to the doorway, deftly avoiding the puddles, turns back and sticks her tongue out at Jack and, at a warning look from the Doctor, vanishes through the doorway.
"But… but… that's so unfair! Why do I have to clean it up? She started it!"
"Maybe she did. And maybe she didn't. But you're not the one I have to take to see Jackie. We'll keep her in the flat to give you time to clean it up. The mops are in that cupboard behind you. Have fun!" He quickly pulls the door closed and locks it with his sonic screwdriver.
Jack stands in the centre of the devastation. Heaving a sigh, he turns round and takes a step towards the cupboard, putting his foot right in the middle of a puddle of milk. It is cold and wet and sticky. Very uncomfortable to sit in, he decides a few seconds later.
xxx
"Remember when we went to that beach with purple sand?" Jackie watches Romana industriously building a large mound of sand with a small boy.
"It took ages to get all the sand off," the Doctor agrees.
"Is it like that, all over the universe?"
"Sand isn't sand unless you can tip it out of your shoes months later. Someone did once invent sand that wouldn't get everywhere, something to do with repulsion between sand and other materials."
"Did it work?"
"Nah. Each grain of sand repelled not only other materials but all the other grains of sand. There's probably still a grain or two shooting around in outer space."
Jackie laughs.
"Talking of that…" He pulls out the mobile Rose bought for him years ago.
"Jack?"
"What now?"
"I've got a present for you! The cutest frilly apron!"
Some strange strangled noises issue from the phone. Eventually Jack appears to clear his throat. "I've finished the cleaning."
"Did you have fun?"
The strangled noises make a reappearance.
"Teach you to be a bad influence on my daughter."
"SHE STARTED…" The Doctor cuts the connection and drops the phone back in his pocket and looks over at Romana. They've finished building and are on to demolition, jumping up and down.
"Romana!" She bounds over to them.
"Jack's finished. Take that grin off your face, young lady. I would have both of you cleaning it up if we weren't coming here. Next time you or Jack want a food fight, tell me and I'll drop you off on Clownworld."
"He started…"
"I don't want to hear another word about it!"
xxx
"So where do you want to go?" The Doctor leaps round the console and trips over a discarded mop.
Jackie looks thoughtful. "Somewhere pretty."
"Somewhere cold," Romana adds wistfully.
Jack opens his mouth. The Doctor shoots him a look.
"They already built a galaxy of planets like that, Jack. Take a holiday there if you want, but not my daughter," Jack shuts his mouth.
"I know!" He sets the co-ordinates. "Woman Wept, Tardis can choose the time. Doesn't really matter anyway. It's uninhabited, so it doesn't change much. Better wrap up warm!"
They meet back in the console room. Jackie is wearing a red coat with white fur trim round the hood. The Doctor firmly dismisses all Father Christmas jokes that spring to mind. Jack is sporting a black fleece with black gloves, making for an all black outfit.
"Not going for camouflage, then?"
"You said it was uninhabited."
"It is. Or at least, there are no indigenous populations. Might be the centre of an evil alien plot though."
"It's not though, is it?" asks Jackie nervously.
"Not as far as I know."
She looks unconvinced.
"Jackie, do you really think I'd deliberately throw you in front of hostile aliens?"
She knows it was the dearest wish of his ninth incarnation and says so.
"I'm not him! I thought I'd convinced everyone of that ages ago." Jack and Jackie exchange a look.
"Fine, do you really think I would deliberately put Romana in the way of hostile aliens?" His gaze falls on her, keeping warm in a chunky, if lumpy deep purple jumper knitted by Jackie, rainbow gloves and…
"Romana! If I ever see Four again…" The dark threat trails off as he tries to think of a scarf destruction method that will make up for the past three years.
"You told me to wrap up warm," she pouts. She's really perfected it.
He sighs deeply. The Tardis settles. He bounds over to the doors and takes a peek outside.
"Ha! I did it! Come on then, ladies first."
xxx
It's really, really lovely. Beautiful, elegant, majestic. A vocabulary as large as any human adult's, spanning several languages. But she can't think of a word to describe it. There's probably a word that sums up exactly what she means in Gallifreyan. There usually is. It's a beautiful language. But for now, a picture will have to convey what words cannot. Capture the moment, then…well, ice slide. She's left her camera back in the Tardis though, round that corner. Not that far.
"I'm just heading back to the Tardis for a minute, ok?" She turns back.
"I hope you're getting rid of that scarf!" the Doctor shouts after her.
Oh, there it is. She thought it was further back. She pushes open the door and runs inside. The camera's in her room.
xxx
"Are you sure there's nothing on this planet, Doctor?"
"Apart from us?"
"Apart from us."
"We are the only sentient beings on this planet."
"So Romana can't have got into any trouble, then?"
"She's as jeopardy-friendly as her mother- but there is nobody else here."
"It's just that she's been gone ages."
"Oh, she probably just got lost in the Tardis," Jack offers.
"The Tardis would make sure she didn't."
"Maybe she got sidetracked." They're all getting slightly worried.
"I'll go look." The Doctor stands, shrugging on his coat.
"I'm coming with you." The Doctor has learned not to stand in the way of a Tyler female.
"Should I go the other way?"
"No, you stay here, Jack. In case she comes back."
The Doctor strides off, Jackie hurrying by his side.
xxx
"Romana?" The Doctor tramps along the beach. "Romana?"
Jackie's too breathless with trying to keep up to call out. Which isn't good, because it leaves her mind free. She doesn't like that look on his face. A fragile mask for the dark side of his ancient soul. A look that tells of the horrors he's seen. If anyone has harmed Romana, there isn't going to be enough for a matchbox once the Doctor, Jack and she have finished. Suddenly the Doctor freezes as unearthly groans fill the air. She'd recognise that sound anywhere.
The Doctor grabs her and they throw themselves round the corner, just in time to see the Tardis fade away.
A/N: Yes, very short chapter I know. Sorry! I just had to have that cliffy. Please review!
