A/N: For those interested, I have started a new Kyoya/Haruhi story entitled Please. It is set during Haruhi's fourth year of college. Check it out if you like that pairing. For this story… I can only shake my head at the three mischief makers. I should probably hang my head in shame that I keep writing them like this, but I don't because I know you enjoy it and get a good laugh, and that's what matters. LOL. As you can all probably guess/assume, I will be using Yuuta and Kame to set in motion some misunderstandings of varying extremes. You will probably see more inner mind theatre, and as always for the Assuming series anything goes, and expect all hell to break lose at some point in time… maybe more than once. Enjoy!

Chapter 8 – Dreams and Garbage

Saturday morning dawned bright and early and Tamaki was up even before the birds outside had started chirping. Holding his pillow close to his chest, anxiety fought within him threatening to emerge and come to the surface, and if it won, he may find himself being taken to the dump in another garbage truck. It was horrible and the smell was finally beginning to dissipate from his skin and hair, already having burned the clothes that had been subjected to such travesty. He didn't want that to happen again. Okay so one could say he may have overreacted a little bit, but when he saw what he saw… he shuddered at the memory.

Flashback (this is your warning that stupidity will ensue and you will be left holding your head in shame for the princely type)…

After Tamaki and the twins left the Ootori mansion, they went to the Suoh estate and designed a schedule that would allow the trio to split the responsibility of protecting Haruhi (i.e. following, stalking, spying, etc.). Knowing that Yuuta only had one class with Haruhi and that the interloper was busy all morning, allowed them to put their special talents to use first thing in the morning, after the class Haruhi and Yuuta had together, and then again in the afternoon. It made it much easier than trying to follow them 24/7.

As it happened, Tamaki was awarded (basically because he begged) for the first afternoon shift and the blond took his job very seriously. Donning a three piece suit, trench coat, fedora, and sunglasses (because that's what all spies wore in the movies), he stalked them very closely. Of course he realized he was too close when he bumped into Yuuta's back and had to duck down an alley to avoid being caught. After that Tamaki kept his distance while still keeping them in sight. He was sure they hadn't noticed him, thus keeping him in the clear… he assumed wrong.

Haruhi could feel Tamaki breathing down her neck and when someone bumped into Yuuta, she knew exactly who it was. For now, she would let him play his game and when the opportunity presented itself, she would deal with her overprotective, daddy fanatic/wannabe friend. She just had to be patient and wait and she knew Tamaki would do something to mess up. Patience was key… and thanks to dating Chika, she had learned that particular virtue in droves and had become vastly more patient than she had ever been previously. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with her boyfriend, but more than once she found herself waiting as he and his elder brother duked it out; and then she had to patiently bandage him up when he lost. Yes, she had learned a lot about patience and increased her knowledge of first aid since dating Yasuchika Haninozuka. As it turned out though, she didn't need to do a single thing… her father took care of Tamaki for her, although it was a bit more harsh than she would have done to the blond.

Home on a rare afternoon off from the bar, Ranka welcomed Yuuta into his home knowing the young man and Haruhi needed to work on a project. He left the partners alone in the living room and went into the kitchen to make them some tea, insisting he play the part of a good father and host for his only child. Glancing into the living room from the kitchen, Ranka could see that their heads where already pushed together as they poured over their notes. In fact if he didn't know how innocent it was, it would almost appear as if they were a couple or as if something was happening between the two, but it wasn't. No, his daughter was completely enamored with Chika and the redhead thought Hunny's younger brother was perfect for his little girl.

Peering into the window of the Fujioka apartment, Tamaki was frozen. Haruhi was staring into Yuuta's eyes. They were laughing and moving in so that their faces were even closer. They were going to kiss! He had to stop this, but how? Spying through the window yet again, he noticed the partners were looking down into a book now, but their hands… they looked like they were holding hands under the table. This shouldn't be happening! Tamaki needed to rescue his little girl and get her away from the monster who was attempting to steal her innocence!

Movement in his periphery caught Ranka's attention and he looked up in time to see a suspicious looking character peeping into is window. Without wanting to disturb his little girl's study date, he crept out of the apartment door and snuck up on the pervert, "How dare you try to peep on my daughter you sicko!" Ranka grabbed the man in the trench coat and threw him over the railing and into the dumpster that was located by the stairs on the ground floor just as the garbage truck was picking up the trash for the day. It wasn't until Tamaki's head popped out of the garbage as the dumpster was being lifted into the air that Ranka realized just who had been peeping into their apartment, "Well, serves him right. He shouldn't be dressing that way or spying on my baby!" Dusting off his hands, he returned to the apartment with a smile on his face and a renewed bounce in his step.

"Dad?" Haruhi called from the living room window.

"Yes, sweetie?" The redhead called back.

She turned to gaze at her father, "Did you just throw Tamaki-senpai into the dumpster?"

"He needed to be taught a lesson. No one should stalk my little girl," Ranka smiled and his focus shifted to Yuuta who stood next to his daughter, "I will do anything I need to in order to protect her from predators and I just got rid of an oversized bug."

Haruhi and Yuuta both sweat dropped. The brunette girl tried to stop the garbage truck, but it was already on the move with Tamaki doing his best to get out of the garbage before the truck made it too far down the road. Pulling out her phone, she called the only person she could think of that might be able to help in this particular situation, "Kyoya-senpai, we have a problem."

Trying to climb out of a dump truck full of garbage was a lot harder than Tamaki would have ever imagined, and it wasn't until the truck arrived at the garbage dump that he was finally released from his confines. As the trash was poured from the truck, he rolled out of the back and landed at someone's feet. Looking up, he realized it was his best friend come to save him, "Mon Ami!"

"Do not touch me, do not come near me right now Tamaki. You need a bath. You reek," Kyoya ordered and held out his hands to ward off the overenthusiastic blond.

"But mommy!"

"No buts. You stink and I will not have you touch me. I called your car and you will go home in that. I recommend keeping all the windows open and the sunroof. I just feel sorry for your driver," the bespectacled man stated as he lifted a banana peel off of his friend's shoulder. Shaking his head, he turned and started to walk off, but spun around to give his best friend one final word, "Tamaki, stop trying to follow Haruhi. Yuuta has nt designs on her affections. Do you really think if he did, Ranka would let him into the house?" With that said, he got into his car and instructed his driver to leave quickly.

Unfortunately Tamaki was standing in the wrong place and got sprayed with the dirt Kyoya's car kicked up when it left. Although in the grand scheme of things, compared to what he had just been through and what else covered his body, dirt was probably relatively cleaner than everything else. It took four baths, 2 showers, and a lot of cologne that night before the blond felt like he didn't smell of a garbage truck; however, the odor lingered upon him for a couple days longer.

End flashback (I warned you)…

Due to his mishap with the garbage truck, Tamaki had been unable to recommence his spying. The twins had to work double duty, but they were unable to find anything that would convince everyone else that Yuuta was out to get Haruhi. The next step would be to break into his apartment, however, Tamaki was not exactly sure how to go about doing that. Kyoya would know, but the princely type could not count on his best friend to help him with this particular mission. Thinking through his options, he thought aloud, "Maybe I can Google it." He still had time before the afternoon meeting, so Tamaki grabbed his computer, sprayed on another squirt of cologne, and started his internet search.

Elsewhere in Tokyo…

"I can't believe he has avoided me all week!" Kame screamed into her pillow thankful that the sounds from her room would not reach her parents on the other side of the house. Unable to sleep all night, she was awake and pondering her bad luck. She had tried time and time again to gain Chika's attention and had failed every time. What did she have to do to get him to her side? She could kill Haruhi, but she figured that would make matters worse. No, she needed to do something else. Something that would show Chika that Haruhi was the wrong person for him. Now all she needed to do was find the right bait. Pulling out her computer, she began the planning phase of her scheme. She would get Chika and ruin Haruhi in the process, and she thought she might know exactly how to do it.