AN:
Santana has a letter from Kurt! This chapter give you A LOT of clues about what is up with Rachel and her recent attitude with Finn. Actually next chapter will be the turning point of the story... It'll be short but dramatic AND you will finally know what made Rachel do what she is doing. Now onto the story :)
Hôtel de Crillon
Paris
FRANCE
December 14th, 2012
Dearest Santana,
I feel so sorry we haven't been able to speak, just the two of us, about the current twists and turns of what is happening. The last time we were able to talk about it, it was before Rachel sent "the" letter to Finn and right after she told us about…you know… I still cannot believe that this is happening to her, and to us by the meantime. So I know me being away with these circumstances is not easy, first for Rachel but also for you, because let's be honest, as strong as you are, I am pretty sure it's a hard situation to deal all by yourself with, even for you. Anyway, I had Rachel on the phone two days ago, and she told me in details what she asked you to answer in your letter to Finn. And believe it or not, I got to speak with Finn via Skype yesterday – and yes he read me your letter (well the letter you send him but with what Rachel told you to say to him). If I am allowed to say a word about it, I think you went a little bit too forward with the NYADA/Manhattan guy… I don't know why, but I am pretty sure Rachel is not aware about that part you took the liberty to write, without telling her… Well I will pass on this, since this has become too dramatic.
Speaking about drama, Finn is no longer sad or heartbroken about Rachel breaking up with him. He is literally deplorably inconsolable and devastated. But on the other hand, the kid is definitely not giving up. That's even an understatement. I mean, since he received your last letter, he got all worked up about Rachel and her, I quote you, "typical stupid, idiot and arrogant douchebag" boyfriend. Now, Finn wants to get her back by any way possible. I am telling you, he is not letting go and it is going to be hard to put that idea into his head. I hate lying to Finn, he is my brother! Well not technically I guess, but it's like he is to me. And I just hate lying to him, plotting schemes behind his back with Rachel and you, and above all I hate seeing him so hurt. He is not even himself anymore, it's like he is only the shadow of his former self. Who knew he was so madly and deeply in love with our princess Rachel? I mean, as far as I am concerned, I knew he loved her; they almost got married and he showed complete and truthful love and devotion to her at the train station when he let her go for New-York. But never would I ever thought he would be reacting to this the way he is. They made me believe in love, true love. Now, I wish there was something we could do to bring them together – but, we both know that it's out of our reach now…
I still cannot bring myself to accept that this situation is real. You know how in psychological field they say that there is that five stages loss process? Well if I had to point on the scale where I am, I am pretty sure that would be denial. I am not even sad or angry for what is happening, because I don't want to accept that this is the truth, that this is actually really happening for real to her, to her family, to Finn and to us, her friends. And don't roll your eyes at my heart touching lines, Santana, because I am pretty sure you are crying reading this. Remember when Rachel told us about it, and we were both so chocked about it and how we wondered how she did to hide it from us for so long? I feel like it was ages ago, but it only was a few months ago. I don't understand how so much can happen in such a little time! And if there's one thing I don't understand, it's what Rachel did to her and Finn's relationship. Why couldn't she tell him the truth? It would have been hard, really hard, but I am sure Finn would have been there for her, he would still love her. I think she just sabotaged what they had because she was too scared to bring him the news. Of course I never discussed that with her, with anyone actually, but for me, she is making a huge mistake. I know she said, she did it only to protect Finn, because he wouldn't be able to deal with that and that he doesn't need this to affect his future, but what she doesn't understand is that she's hurting herself in the process, and Finn is now a "total mess" and he is actually loosing total interest in everything. It has the total opposite effect. I know she made her decision, and made it clear that she was sure about it, she wasn't going to change it and that she didn't want to speak about it; but I pray every fashion icons, that we could make her change her stubborn mind! But we both know how our dear Rachel is… And don't get me wrong I know this is one of the hardest things she is dealing with, but she shouldn't reject people, and especially Finn. Everyone, literally everyone know (all the kids from Glee, you and me, Mr. Schue, Ms. Pillsbury, etc) except Finn. Some days, I wake up and all I want to do is call Finn, or write him a letter to tell him the truth, everything: Rachel's situation, her Manhattan "boyfriend", and all the lies. I am just exhausting about this, I am constantly cautious and overly careful about what I do or say, because I am scared to do or say something that will jeopardize everything. But we have to stay strong for her; for our roomy, our friend, our Rachel!
Alright I need to go now, but take care of you and keep an eye on Finn and Rachel while I am not here. Oh! I was almost going to forgot: Are you going back to Lima for Christmas break? I will be lending at Fort Wayne International Airport on the 20th, I should be home in Lima by 5:00pm. If you do go back for the Holidays, I'll be beyond pleased to meet you at the Lima Bean coffee, to speak about this a little more and also I want to brag about my Parisian adventures in France! Just let me know if you can and what time would be good for you!
Love,
Kurt H.
AN2: Thank you for reading & favoriting/following! Reviews are much appreciated :)
