7

When I'm Falling, I'm At Peace


The sound of a phone ringing shattered the moment and, had Q not had one hand on the rail, they would have both slipped as they jumped in surprise. They stood staring at each other as the ringing continued, surprise mirrored in both of their eyes. Then Eris gave a flustered little smile and pulled away just a fraction.

"I think that's you."

He reached into his pocket clumsily, as though he had just woken up, and found it was indeed his phone. A frown crossed his face as he looked down at the unknown number on the screen.

"Would you give me a minute?" he asked, handing her the key. "It's the second floor. Feel free to make yourself at home."

She took the key easily, offering a sharp grin, "Better not stay out here too long. Wouldn't want you to catch cold."

With that, she walked in and disappeared from view. Q returned his attention to the phone, answering the call just before it shut off, and pressed it to his ear. Only a few people had his personal number and even fewer had numbers that he didn't know himself. He absentmindedly shuffled beneath the awning as he spoke.

"This is Benjamin."

"Benjamin, I'm not sure you remember me, but it's Greg."

Q's eyebrows rose in surprise, "DI Lestrade. I could never forget. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Your brother called to request a thorough background check on one Angela Hale," he explained. "He didn't give a reason as to why, but he had that tone he gets when he's worried about family. So I thought I might warn you."

"You're more astute than my brothers make you out to be," he mumbled, receiving an annoyed scoff from the inspector. "Thank you for the warning, but he already dropped by earlier. It's a wonder he chose to go to you rather than the double-O's or Q-Branch…"

"I thought the same. His assistant – strange woman, that one – did mention that Q-Branch refused to get involved between whatever it is you two are on about, and that the field agents blatantly ignored him."

"Ah, good, they've learned."

It was hardly the first time Mycroft had tried to play an all-too active role in his personal life. The eldest Holmes had often done everything within his power, which could be a frightening amount if not stopped in time, to make sure his younger brothers were relatively safe. They hardly helped matters, especially as one was running around London to chase down criminals for Scotland Yard and the other was working as the youngest leader of Q-Branch alongside hacking into the security details of dangerous conglomerates and criminal syndicates. His work was hardly reprimand-worthy, Q knew, as he did everything with relatively understandable intentions.

A shame the road to Hell, one which was specifically tailored for Q, was paved with such intentions.

Lestrade gave a disbelieving scoff, "He's done this before."

"Inspector," Q sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "there is next to nothing my brother hasn't done before if he thinks it will protect me."

There was a soft chuckle from the other end of the line before the older man spoke again, "Well, it seems you've got everything sorted. I suppose I'll let you go, then."

"I appreciate it."

Silence was all that he received in return, shattering his hope that he would hear the click of the call being ended. Neither spoke for nearly a minute before Q decided to address the metaphorical elephant in the room.

"Is there something else you wanted, Lestrade?"

"No, sorry," the DI sputtered, seemingly taken aback by the question. "It's just…I always expect something different when I phone you. Knowing your brothers, I suppose I-"

"Expect me to be a brilliant, but arrogant and egotistical arse?" he supplied.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far."

"Of course not," Q continued. "Those are just the common descriptors I've heard of my brothers. And rest assured: they always expected different of me, as well. Good night, Lestrade."

The detective inspector gave a flustered 'good night' before deciding he had drawn the conversation on for too long and ended the call. With a long-suffering sigh, Q stuffed the phone into his pocket and entered the building. His neighbor, thank whatever god or higher being ruled the universe, did not come out to hassle him as the elderly woman usually did. He hoped she hadn't come out when Eris entered, either.

He found her lounging across his couch, her shoes (Converse, he realized) were tucked neatly away beside the sofa's legs. Her ankles were crossed, her arms folded beneath her head, and her eyes closed until he quietly shut the door behind him. She gave him a pleasant smile as he did.

"You've got a lovely home," she remarked. "Though it's awfully minimalist."

He walked over to the couch, watching as she drew up her legs to allow him to sit before draping them over his lap. It was an odd gesture, but he said nothing in regards to it when he spoke.

"You don't like modern design?"

She shrugged, "It's alright. But, if I'm going to be completely honest, I've always preferred rustic décor. I do love your painting, though. Nice touch."

"Thank you," he replied. "Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?"

"No, thanks," she said. "Was that James calling to give you more grief?"

Q couldn't bite back a laugh at her words, "No. It was a family friend."

She immediately appeared to grow worried, sliding her feet off his lap as she sat up, "Did something happen?"

It was amazing, Q thought, that his first impression of Eris had been that she seemed more like a predator than a person. She had placed that mask of allure, charm, and unattainability over herself as if to make it seem that she was something other than human. The longer he knew her, the more he realized his assumption was wrong. She constantly was surprising him with her empathy and kind heart. Of course, she still had that sensual edge to her personality.

"No, nothing of that sort," he replied, turning to meet her mismatched eyes. "It's been some time since we last spoke and he wanted to catch up. He seemed to realize I was slightly preoccupied."

"And are you?" she asked, leaning a little closer. "Slightly preoccupied?"

That was perhaps the largest understatement of the century, Q thought. He was always slightly preoccupied with something, as his mind never seemed to slow down enough for him to clear it, but never with something unrelated to work. As she looked at him, he was rather taken by the fact that they were alone in his apartment with little to no chance of interruptions. But the fact that they were still dripping wet from the rain also nagged at the back of his mind.

"I'll go get towels, shall I?"

Without much more preamble, he stood up and walked towards his bedroom. The towels were kept in the closet leading to the bathroom adjoined to his room, mostly for convenience, and it didn't take long for him to pull two from the immaculate piles. Eris was standing behind him when he turned around. He jumped slightly, as he had not heard her footsteps, and stared in surprise as she plucked one of the towels from hand.

"Thank you," she said softly as she began drying what she could of her hair. "Do you have any clothes I can borrow?"

"I should," was all he could manage before he turned back to his closet.

He rifled through the coat hangers of shirts, jackets, and coats. Though he was maybe an inch or two taller than Eris, Q was also a rather slender man. Eris was bit wider in build, an athlete if her body and muscles were anything to go by. He wasn't sure anything he owned would fit her properly. Settling on a dark purple button-down, a shirt which had belonged to Sherlock before his 'suicide' and was one of many that Mycroft had sent him to store until their brother returned, and a pair of loose-fitting slacks.

"I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of comfortable clothing, but these should fit fairly…"

Q trailed off as he looked up at Eris. She stood before his window, the faint light coming through his blinds allowing very little of her silhouette to be illuminated. Her wet clothes had been discarded at her feet, leaving her in only her underwear, and she barely turned to acknowledge him as she continued to dry herself.

"Well," he finished, his eyes unable to tear away from her as she draped one leg over the side of his bed to get a better angle.

"You should probably get some fresh clothes, too," she suggested, offering him a wry smile. "You're starting to make a puddle over there."

He nodded in response, but didn't move from where he stood. She spent another minute drying off before turning to face him entirely. Her expression was unreadable, but there was a silent laugh in her eyes, as she stood with the towel hanging from her grasp at her side.

"Ben? You okay over there?"

He took a few steps forward, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, "Yes, sorry."

She cocked her head to the side ever so slightly, "Admiring the view?"

He spluttered, unable to respond to her teasing tone. Her grin grew as she stepped towards him and took the spare clothes from his hands. She shrugged the shirt on easily, dropping the slacks on his mattress to do so, but didn't bother with the buttons. Instead, she hooked her fingers loosely on his tie and pulled him forward.

"You're freezing," she whispered. "Aren't you uncomfortable?"

"It isn't on the forefront of my mind," he hissed back, deciding to play her game.

"And what is?"

"I think we both know the answer to that particular question."

Without giving her time to reply, Q pulled her closer by the lapels of her shirt and closed the distance between them. His lips crashed into hers, one of his hands tangling in her damp hair, and he nibbled at her bottom lip. A laugh escaped Eris, her fingers tracing down his chest and around to his back in exploration. Her nails raked across the lean muscles of his back as he slipped his tongue past her teeth.

It soon changed from a passionate kiss to a restrained fight for dominance as she took a step back, falling onto his mattress and dragging him back with her. Q managed to land without falling on top of her, his body propped above her with his legs and free hand, and continued his ministrations with only the slightest hesitation. Soon, he pulled away just enough to place open-mouthed kisses against the soft curve of her jaw. A breathy moan escaped her as he moved down to suck gently at her pulse point.

"Ben," she breathed, her eyes barely open as she looked at him. "Holy hell."

He gave a curious hmm against her skin, but didn't bother stopping. She seemed to get the message either way.

"You're just full of surprises," she explained, earning a throaty chuckle from the Quartermaster.

He returned to her mouth, relishing the feel of her fingernails running through his hair. It wasn't often that the Quartermaster abandoned himself totally to one object of his attention. When he did, however, he still was aware of every aspect of sensation associated with that object. Her skin was smooth, aside from a few faint scars that seemed like a spider's web on her skin, and still a bit cold from the rain. But she still smelled of sandalwood and vanilla.

One of her legs hooked around his waist, effectively pulling him lower and her off the bed, and ground her hips against his growing arousal. The motion caught him by surprise and he moaned against her mouth. It was then that their actions occurred to him, causing him to still entirely and think. Eris seemed taken aback by his sudden stop and blinked at him with her blue and green eyes.

"Ben?"

Her breathy voice was the final piece falling into place, bringing his mind back to the big picture. He wasn't just any old Tom on the streets who could afford to go around and sleep with people he only just knew. He was the Quartermaster at MI-6, and held more government secrets in his laptop than his eldest brother – an accomplishment in and of itself. He cared for Eris, but he needed to know he could trust himself to keep her entirely separate from his work.

He thought of the stories he had heard of when the double-O's weren't careful enough with their families, the few that managed to have families at all. Regardless of the fact that he wasn't an agent, or perhaps because he wasn't, he didn't have the perfect training for protecting her if the need arose. He didn't want her getting hurt.

He needed time, just enough to ensure that it was mostly safe to get further involved with Eris.

"We should wait," he sighed, extricating himself from her grasp to collapse onto the bed next to her.

"We should – what?"

She seemed baffled at his words as she propped herself up on her elbows. He draped an arm over his eyes, internally cursing himself and his job, and gave a long-suffering sigh.

"We should wait," he repeated, preparing a slight lie to keep from completely pushing Eris away. "This isn't something I do often and I don't want to muck it up. And I think we're going a bit fast."

"You want to slow down?"

It was frightening how she had suddenly removed all emotion from her voice. He wondered if she was preparing for the worst, expecting him to suddenly kick her out of his flat. Or perhaps she was going to break it off with him. He had, after all, spectacularly destroyed the moment they were having.

He swallowed, trying to gauge her reaction without looking at her, "Yes."

There was a second of silence before he heard her offhanded, "Alright."

He sat up suddenly, blinking at her as though she had said something utterly ridiculous.

"Alright?"

She shrugged, "Maybe we are going a bit fast. I tend to be reckless in relationships, so I haven't noticed before. But maybe you're right: we should take this slower. Besides, I'm not going to pressure you into something you don't want to do."

She dropped down beside him, an almost thoughtful expression on her face. Silence fell between them, this time heavier than the ones they had felt before. Q cleared his throat and turned his head just enough to see her profile.

"It's nothing to do with you," he explained.

She turned to meet his gaze, offering him a smile, "I figured. But I do have a personal question."

"Go ahead."

"Are you asexual?"

"Asexual?" Q echoed, confused by the sudden turn in topic.

She shrugged once more, "It's fine either way. I just want to make sure of your boundaries if you are."

"I've never given much thought to my sexuality," he said honestly.

"I guess that makes two of us," she laughed, her soft chuckle slowly fading. "Do you mind if I sleep here for the night? I don't really feel like getting a cab home."

Wrapping an arm around her waist, Q tugged her close against his chest, "That's fine. Is this alright?"

She shifted slightly in his grasp, but made no move to get up as she closed her eyes, "Completely."

Q sighed contentedly, turning his face into her and closing his eyes. No, he wasn't going to put her in any unnecessary danger, but he wasn't going to push her away entirely. And his current situation seemed safe enough.