AN: I have a wonderful friend who has offered to beta my story so a big thank you to her for making this story better. Readtoomuch, you rock! If you are coming along for the ride then thank you for your time. Any errors are completely mine.
Normally I am not a big fan of long AN's, but I would like to let readers know beforehand what is in store for this little story of mine. No infidelity between E/B if they make it to relationship status. Yes, E has been sexually active while apart from Bella. This story includes characters who participate in a BDSM lifestyle. The amount of participation varies, not all of them are hardcore but there are some that are. E is a Dom, not a sadist, and his past and experience with this lifestyle is extensive. That does not mean that in order to be happy with Bella that she has to conform to his lifestyle. However involved Bella may or may not become in the lifestyle will be because she chooses to do so not because she feels that she has to be a certain way for E.
Now, I know that there are readers who take offense when it comes to those who choose a BDSM lifestyle and that is your right to do so. Just don't read on. The important message to those who choose to dip their toes in this brand of kink is that it is always consensual and done with safety in mind.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
This fanfic is rated M for a reason! Please, if you are under the age of 18 or if you cannot handle things getting hot you probably would be better off reading something else.
I also would like to point out that I only wish to borrow names and a bunch of other shit from Twilight with respect of course to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 7
BPOV
So many thoughts, dreams, and regrets weaved their way through my mind as I drove back to my childhood home. I didn't know what I expected to find when I came back to Forks three months ago, but I honestly didn't imagine Edward would be living here in. I always thought he would end up living and working in a big city after graduating from college, so it was a big surprise to find out he had moved back to Forks and had planted even more roots by opening his own business.
There is so much about Edward that is different, so much has changed and I wonder if we'll ever have the same closeness we had once shared. The difference in his eyes from last night when he had still remained in the dark about my reasons for leaving to today, now that he knows all, was shocking.
I did that to him, I took away his light.
When I left Forks all those years ago, I left behind all the pieces that made up my heart. Everything has changed with the knowledge I have gained since I have been back. With what I had seen and believed, I had been able to justify leaving four years ago. Now, knowing what I know, I can't justify any of my actions.
For all I know Edward could wind up hating me. He may hate me already. I should have gone to him for an explanation, as he would have come to me for one. But I didn't, and no matter what that is something that I cannot change. There are no words, no pleas, and no petty explanations that can undo the damage that has been done. I will always love him from a distance in my own quiet way as I always have, but the difference this time around is that it may be him staying away from me instead of the opposite way around.
Please, please God, don't let that happen.
I suddenly stepped firmly on the brakes as I approached a red traffic light I had not expected to be there. Unfortunately, I didn't come to a complete stop until I had just passed the broad white line leaving the front of my car part way into the intersection. "Shit!" I checked the rearview mirror to see if I had enough space to back up in reverse and saw a police car right behind me. Yes, things have definitely changed around here. Growing up there had been no traffic lights in the small town of Forks. I must have been completely out of it before, because I was pretty sure I had passed through this intersection on my way to Edward's shop earlier.
Keep it together, Bella.
I kept my sight straight ahead focusing on the still red traffic light while I waited for it to turn green. I impatiently tap my fingers on the steering wheel while wondering when Forks got the traffic light.
What the fuck is taking this light so long, there aren't even any other cars around?
As soon as I finished that thought, I heard the unmistakable siren of a police car scaring the living shit out of me, because it was so close and ridiculously loud. "What the fuck?" The traffic light turned green, but I waited for the officer to move his car around to pass me. The cop behind me turned on the flashing red and blue lights and when he doesn't pull around to pass me, I realize the siren and flashing lights are for me.
Are you kidding me? Jesus fucking Christ, can't a girl get a break around here?
I sighed loudly and dramatically, because I fucking needed too right now. I proceeded to pass through the intersection and pulled over to the right side of the road. I have never gotten a traffic ticket and I really don't want my streak to end. I looked into the rear view mirror just as the cop exits his car, at least the officer is a man, so maybe I could pout a little and avoid a ticket. As I went to push the button to roll my window down the officer tapped my window with his mag light.
Okay, this was obviously one of those cops - you know the ones who needed to let everyone around them who was in charge. Tapping on my window with a fucking flashlight that he doesn't even need during the day as I am rolling down the window is just rude, obnoxious, and absolutely unnecessary. I keep my head turned away and roll my eyes as the window continues its' downward descent. Ugh, I really don't want to deal with this right now.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the virginal Bella Swan," the cop sneered. "I heard you were back in town dealing with your dear ol' daddy's death and all," he snickered as he bent forward and practically leaned the whole top half of his body into my car, his face only inches from mine even though I was leaning away almost completely over the center console. Shit, he was so close, too close; I could feel the heat from his breath brushing on my face. "You're still a virgin, aren't you? I bet you have the tightest pussy in Washington," he said in a low whisper that gave me the chills. "What? I don't see any Cullens hanging around to help keep that pussy freshly sealed tight." He shook his head and let out a tsk tsk sound as though he was trying to command a horse.
"Oh, I see you are just as big of a dick as always, out making your daddy proud, huh, Jacob?" I retorted warily as I tried my hardest to not show any fear. The truth was I was really scared.
Jacob Black was fucking slime. He had been the only male in Forks to have ever gotten close enough to make a move on me when I was younger. The only reason he had been able to get anywhere near me was because he had sneakily stalked me and he would patiently wait until I was alone to taunt me. When I was a freshman in high school he had trapped me between my locker and his buddy, Travis, and groped me. I never told anyone what had happened and though I had my reasons for not telling anyone at the time, I was beginning to regret that decision now.
"What the hell, Jacob? You're certainly not acting in an appropriate manner for an officer of the law." I seethed as I reached over to the cup holder in the center console of my car to grab my phone. Was I really going to have to fucking call 911 on this maggot?
"Well, I wouldn't worry your pretty little head about whether or not I'm being appropriate or not," he chuckled low and creepily. "I'm the Chief of police in this town now." He smiled slyly, running depraved dark eyes down my frame that was still stretched back over the console before pulling back to lean his right arm over the driver's side door above the window.
"Whatever," I snarked, silently relieved he had moved away from me and out of my car. Clearly some people never change. "What am I being pulled over for, Chief Black?" I sighed.
JBPOV
Stupid fucking bitch.
"The reason I pulled you over, Miss Swan, is because you were obviously not paying attention while driving and dangerously stopped partly into the intersection." I answered doing my best to reign in my explosive temper. I won't be giving her any more reasons to go whining to the Cullens about harassment or some shit like that.
"But I didn't even see the traffic signal until just before I stopped. When did Forks even get this traffic light? Is it really necessary?" She argued, of course she did. Like I knew she would.
Stupid fucking bitch.
"Miss Swan, I'm sure we both have better things to do with our time, so if you don't mind I will need to see your license and registration." I demanded. She gave me a dirty look as she reached over into the center console of her fancy ass Porsche Cayenne to retrieve her paperwork. I just stood outside her car with one forearm pressed against the top of her door and my stare directed down straight towards her lap.
Just to give her a little bit of a mind fuck.
"Here is my license and registration." She said as she handed me her paperwork. I snatched the papers out of her grasp and turned to head back to my patrol car to call her shit in. With any luck the stupid bitch would have a warrant and I could pat that sweet body down, slap some cuffs on her and really make this a good fucking day.
Yeah right, Little Miss Virgin Pussy, has probably never gotten into trouble a day in her pathetic life.
I get back into my patrol car and typed her information into the laptop. I know the bitch has been back for at least the last three months, but I don't think she's staying. If she had moved back permanently, I could at least cite her for not renewing her driver's license in the state of Washington in the appropriate time frame. Fuck! I know I need to play my cards right and not give her any reason to bring this encounter up to anyone else, especially to any of the Cullens. I'll just issue her a warning and be patient, even though I would love nothing more than to wrap my hand around her throat and punish the bitch. I filled out a warning slip and took my time walking back to her car.
"Well, Miss Swan, today is your lucky day. I'm feeling quite generous and have decided to issue you with just a warning this time. Watch how you drive or I may not be so nice next time." I said as I remained calm, cool, and collected. The stupid fucking bitch just stared up at me with her stupid brown eyes. I just smirked at her one last time, turned around, and walked away leaving her to wonder on her own what the fuck had just happened.
Soon. You'll get what you deserve. I'll make sure of it.
Isabella fucking Swan deserves to die slowly, painfully, and by my hand. She had always acted as though she was better than everyone else. Though everyone else was fooled by her sweet girl act, I could see the truth in her cruel eyes. There was a time back in elementary school when Bella, the Cullens, and I had been friends, but that stupid bitch ruined it.
Charlie had been good friends with my dad, Billy, especially when my whore of a mother left my father when I was six years old, and my little sister, Emily, was five, because we were too poor. It was through Charlie my family became friendly with the Cullens. Almost my entire life had been spent attending their fancy birthday parties, sport activities, anniversaries as well as dinner parties. Jasper Cullen and I had become good friends and Bella and Emily were friends, so we were always around each other even without all the fancy get togethers.
I was in sixth grade when I started to look at Bella as more than an annoying little shit hanging around with Emily. It was around the same time I had discovered that gripping my cock while I stroked it up and down could make me feel really good. I started to go through my dad's boxes of pictures just to find photos of Bella so I could look at them while I got off.
Ungrateful bitch!
I had done everything for her. I always made an extra peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich to give her at lunch because it was her favorite, I carried her backpack for her, I protected her from the taunts of other kids trying to bully her. Where were the Cullen boys then? Jasper was always out busy doing his own thing, and the younger twin Cullens, Riley and Conner, were too young to do shit. Edward wasn't around since he had started junior high so it was all me; I took care of Bella... and she took care of me. Every night it wasn't my hand gripping my hard cock, it was hers. It wasn't my hand I was coming all over, it was hers. She was there with me every night. She had been mine, only mine.
The day I was set to graduate from the sixth grade was the day I had planned to ask Bella to be my girlfriend. I made sure to wear my best pair of Levis paired with the white button down dress shirt that my dad had gotten me when we had to go to the ceremony when he made Chief of Police. I even cleaned my shoes so that they would look better. I was sure that Bella would say yes. Sometimes I saw her looking at me too.
That day I had been so nervous. I had been walking to school earlier that morning when I had come across a rose bush and broke off a few of the stems to give to Bella. I had learned from the shows I had watched on TV, I knew that girls liked to get flowers so I was sure that Bella would be mine before school got out that day. Since we weren't in the same grade I didn't see her until lunch time. When I sat down next to her I opened my lunch box and gave her the peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich I had made for her and the small bouquet of tiny roses I had pulled for her.
"Jacob," she giggled "why are you giving me flowers?" she had asked. When she looked up from the flowers to gaze into my eyes I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest. Her cheeks were blotchy pink and her lips were chapped, but I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world.
"I saw these roses when I was on my way to school this morning and I thought you would like them." I confessed nervously. "I want to ask you a question, Bella." I said shyly as I picked at the hem on the sides of my jeans.
"What, Jacob?" She asked as she looked up at me through her long dark lashes.
"Uhmm….Bella….. I…I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?" I mumbled quickly and in a low voice so the others around us couldn't hear me. My heart was still beating so fast, too fast and it seemed as though hours had passed since I asked her and she still had not said anything back to me. I began to panic.
What if she says no?! I will never be able to look her again!
I leaned my head forward chin to chest and began biting the inside of my lower lip. I was nervously staring at the stitches holding my shoes together and that's when I heard her laugh. I looked up to see Bella jump out of her seat at the lunch table and start running. She was laughing as she chased Jasper around the lunch room and when she caught up to him she hit him over the head with….the flowers. I looked around and saw the red rose petals falling everywhere, the flowers I had just given to her lay in ruins on the floor. Students all around me saw and laughed at the scene before them. Panicking, I grabbed my lunch box and backpack and ran out of the suddenly too crowded cafeteria, running as fast as I could. I ran into the boy's room gasping for breath, leaning against the sink.
I will not cry.
I looked into the mirror above the sink and saw the evidence of tears that have now betrayed me. I felt like throwing up. I wanted to punch something or hurt someone like I'm hurting now.
How could she laugh at me and run away? How could she destroy the flowers I gave her like they were nothing?
I steered clear of Bella Swan after that day. The hatred I felt towards her consumed me and all I could feel was a rage that grew every year at her unfeeling cruelty. Don't even get me started on the Cullens brothers. Because Charlie, Carlisle, and pops were such good friends, we had to see them all the time. Never mind the fact that my slut of a sister has tried time and time again to get any and all of the Cullen brothers to fuck her. She had herself convinced that she could get one of the brothers to fall for her and that the fool would take her out of our life of poverty and give her a better life.
Yeah, right, another stupid fucking bitch!
The Cullens and the Swans both came from money and their kids always had everything they had ever wanted. On top of being rich, the Cullen brothers were all good-looking and popular. By the time I started high school, I had grown quite a bit. I was 6'2 and built like a brick wall, so I had no problem getting on the football team at school, but I had both Edward and Jasper Cullen as teammates. Edward had been quarterback with Jasper as the running back. I had the position as a weakside linebacker. They had always been better and faster and I fucking hated them!
I knew I looked good and had had my fair share of pussy, but it was always leftovers that one or both of the Cullen brothers had already had. That was my life. By the time I had started high school, what little friendship left between Jasper and I since that day had pretty much fizzled out. Edward and I were never close to begin with so nothing changed there. There was one change however that pissed me off even more.
By the time, Bella fucking Swan started high school she had the Cullen boys wrapped around her little deceptive finger, fooling them with her innocent sweet act. One of the Cullen boys was always by her side, walking down the hall with an arm thrown over her shoulder, holding hands, or giving the death glare to any other guy that even looked her way. Even me.
Fuck them all of them! They're good enough to touch her, but not me?
Almost shaking in fury, I shrugged myself out of these depressing fucking memories. When I looked out of the front windshield of my patrol car I could see Bella had already taken off. I sneered at the back of her car, as I turned the key to start my car and drove towards the woods away from prying eyes.
I pulled onto an off beaten dirt path and when I felt secure that I was alone I parked the car. I leaned the driver's seat back, unzipped my pants and pulled my cock out into my hands. Bella's face was still on the screen of the laptop since I had looked up her driver's license earlier.
Stupid fucking bitch!
I wrapped my fingers tight around my cock and began to stroke it violently. The pain quickly turned into pleasure. I looked at Bella's face staring at me from the laptop and it wasn't long before her picture began to morph itself into the image I had created in my mind a long time ago while pumping my hand even harder towards release. I felt the tightening in my stomach, my nuts began pulling themselves closer to my groin, and finally just as I imagined the life drain out of those big brown eyes staring at me, I found my release groaning as a small smile formed on my lips.
Bella was going to die and it would be by my hand. I was going to be the man to fuck her for the first and the last time, and when I did I would wrap one hand around her tiny little throat and I would squeeze until I was ready to stop, and just before her heart would give up I would revive her from the brink of death and do it all over again... and again... and again.
