Chapter Eight
Maura woke to the soft patter of rain. Constant, delicate. Soothing.
Rainy days, lazy days.
Jane had said that to her once. Maura agreed, to an extent. Something about rain demanded a moment of deference, a pause to appreciate the present. Maura smiled at the memory.
So today was a slow waking, one of those rare mornings when she did not jump out of bed, mind racing, worried over routines or schedules or work. Hurry was a word far down her mental list. For the moment, she was content to laze in the comfortable heaviness that only morning awakenings could bring.
Only after a few lazy blinks did reality impinge on her bubble of contentment.
Memory, sharp and demanding. A quick breath and Maura turned her head to the side—
She found dark brown eyes and a mess of curls, Jane's head propped on an arm. Her smile was soft, unassuming, and it soothed Maura's rush of anxiety before it could fully bloom. Their eyes met and held for long moments.
The rain was a fitting soundtrack.
Jane was the first to break the silence, voice hushed and rough. "Morning."
Maura settled back into the mattress, turned on her side to face her.
"You stayed," Maura murmured, as though speaking too loud would shatter the peace of the moment. She inhaled slowly, soaking in the knowledge, the implications.
"I stayed," she whispered back. Her dark eyes traced the planes of Maura's face, and they clouded briefly with some unreadable emotion before clearing once more. "Is that okay?"
Maura nodded, still working through what this could mean. But slowly, no rush. Jane was here, and it meant not all was lost. It gave her hope.
A flicker of dry humor chased itself across Jane's features. "I thought you could use the sleep. I know I could."
Maura made a noise of agreement, stretching her arms above her head. Her neck cracked and she let out a sigh. "What time is it?"
"Little after ten."
"Mmm," Maura murmured, letting her arms drop. Then she lurched upright. "Ten?!"
Jane let out a raspy chuckle. "It's Saturday, Maur."
Oh. Maura blinked bleary eyes.
The days had bled together for her over the past months. But yesterday stood out. She remembered Jane holding out her coat, Jane saying she'd take them home, Jane pressing her hand to the small of Maura's back – lightly enough that Maura was sure Jane didn't expect her to feel it.
Something had shifted between them yet again. Jane was back to her usual self. Her eyes slanted to the lounging body next to her in bed. Well, mostly.
A hollowed thud sounded, and both women's heads swiveled to the door. Maura felt more than saw Jane's body tense.
"It's just Bass," she said, and caught herself from reaching out to place a comforting hand on Jane's arm.
She had an intense moment of déjà vu.
Jane chuckled again and plopped onto her back, arm over her eyes. "That turtle's going to be the death of me one of these days."
Maura opened her mouth.
"Tortoise," Jane corrected before Maura could. The glint of humor in her eyes, peeking under her arm, was accompanied by something Maura hadn't seen in far too long—something she hadn't known she missed until faced with its sudden reappearance. Something she didn't know she needed until Jane proffered it with such gentle affection, and she felt a rush of warmth in her chest. It was almost painful, that sudden filling of a void.
Last night was real. Jane was here. Maura struggled to come to terms.
Jane rose and swung her legs over the side of the bed.
Maura's throat tightened, unwilling to let the moment of tranquility end. Beyond these walls there was chaos and fear and danger. Here, on her bed, there was just them. Away from the world for a while, however brief the respite. They needed to talk. She needed to talk.
"Jane?" Maura asked, rising up onto her elbows.
Words left her when Jane paused and turned to face her once more, eyebrows raised in inquiry. There were too many questions to voice aloud. Too many uncertainties. But by the way Jane's face shifted, she heard all of them in the lingering silence.
Jane hesitated, smoothed a scarred hand over the comforter by her thigh. Her eyes traced the movement.
"As long as you want me. I'll be here." Her quiet voice belied the significance of her words.
Maura's breath hitched. She knew Jane spoke of more than today, more than one night of company and comfort. It was reassurance for the many tomorrows to come, whether in happiness or heartache. This was deep, and it frightened her. The uncertainty in that conditional statement frightened her. Conditions could change. She'd had enough of that in the past months to last a lifetime.
Jane faced forward again, and Maura suspected it made it easier for whatever confession was about to come. Easier to not look into her eyes. Maura tried not to let that realization sting, to let it speed the pounding anticipation in her heart.
"I promise it isn't you," Jane said slowly, firmly. A fist curled in her lap, muscles in her forearm flexing beneath olive skin. "It's just something I've got to work through."
Maura gazed at Jane's back, spine bowed, shoulders slumped. Somehow, she had never looked more vulnerable. Or as strong.
"Can I help?" She wanted so desperately to reach out. Her fingers twitched with the need.
Black curls shook. "No," Jane affirmed quietly.
"I said I'd be better." Jane glanced over her shoulder, dark eyes on the comforter before flicking up to meet hazel, direct and purposeful. The mingled hurt and affection there twisted Maura's heart. "Just…give me some time."
Maura frowned but nodded. "Okay." More a breath than an answer.
Jane rose and disappeared into the bathroom. The snick of the door felt less like a dismissal and more like a promise.
She might not understand, but she felt the change in the air. Understood things were shifting, might be shifting for a while. She could accept that. As long as it left moments like this possible.
As long as you want me.
Maura brought her knees to her chest and encircled them with her arms.
Would there be a time when she didn't? Maura tried to fathom it, and failed. The unease from those words would be haunting her for a while. She could feel it. Whatever battle Jane was fighting, she hoped the end meant she could have her friend back.
Maura sighed as she heard the shower start. Familiar. Routine. Something like a smile graced her face as she wiggled her toes under the comforter.
For the first time in a while, she felt home.
...
A/N: I know this is short, but hopefully not without purpose. It's a transitional chapter. Allows me to get my feet wet once more. The next chapter will be longer.
