Alot of you are finding it difficult to grasp Punks sudden darkness. Just remember what kind of world he came from with a father like Jack. And I really need Punk to be a massive jackass with what's about to happen in the following chapters. I won't let you down. Things will come good..in the end. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)


AJs P.O.V.

I wish I could remember how. He turns and goes without so much as a backward glance and it's all I can do to cry. And I hate that. I hate it, because he told me to stop and I just can't. Everything hurts, every part of me stings and I... I feel broken. Exposed and violated. I feel like a victim, I truly do, and I never thought that could ever happen at Phils' hands, no matter what I learnt about him. Even when he told me what he did when he was one of Jacks men, even when he grabbed me by the throat, I was never his victim, ever. Because his anger, it had never truly been directed at me. I'd always just gotten in the way. I want to pretend that, with this, he might just want to hurt Jack, hate him. But I see it, I see it so painfully clear from my shattered baby's view-point. How can he not hate me just as much? Whatever my reasons, I still... sold the intimacy between us.

And I know, I know if I'd stood to lose him in this kind of way; if I'd found him wearing the ring I'd put on his finger while he... and some brainless, evil bimbo... I know I'd want to tear him open. Because I could never understand, when he had sworn so many times how much he loved me, how he could do that to me. I understand it all, I do. And that's why I'm curled up so pathetically here, my bare and bloody body covered by the thin sheet of my dressing gown, trying to cover myself as I shoke myself raw with these thousands of pouring, burning tears.

But what can I do? Sit here, sobbing myself into oblivion while Phil is out there, no doubt thinking himself stupid and with it, slipping further and further away. So I force myself to stem the tears and drag myself to my feet, wincing as the air licks at my every cut. It's with shaking hands I dress myself. And it makes me cry again just to look through my clothes. Every other garment, there's something Phil bought, something Phil enjoyed, something Phil has told me I looked beautiful in. And none of it, none of it is going to happen again.

I pull a thick black fitted hoodie over my head, wanting to hide every inch of myself away. I don't think I'll ever wear a skirt again, dive straight on a pair of black jeans before jamming my feet into my faithful chucks. I've never felt any smaller in my whole damn life, sniffling and edging guiltily into the lounge with my head bowed. There's a coldness about the place that makes me certain Phil is here, I don't even need to look up to be sure. I can feel his anger, his disappointment, his pain. It's all here and it's all because of me.

"What... What have I got to do Phil? What do I have to do to bring you back?"

He scoffs, laughing bitterly, not even lifting his head to recognise my presence as I edge around the sofa and stand in front of him. "What do you mean "back"? I'm not dead am I?"

I gasp painfully, his words sticking in my raw throat, no doubt exactly as he planned.

"And I've got you to thank for that, haven't I, sweetheart? Because you really would do anything for me right?"

"Anything!"

He bites into his lip as he takes in my response, nodding solemnly. "Except tell me the fuckin' truth!"

His hands are roughly around my jaw and he tilts my chin, forcing my gaze to his own as he watches my tears pour down.

"Please..." I plead weakly. "...baby, don't... don't-"

"No." he says coldly, pushing me back a little, edging us closer to the bedroom again. "There's nothing you can do anymore April. You've already lost me, and that's it. Everything... Everything is gone."

"No! That's not true! Phil, whatever happens, we've got the baby, our children, think about what this will do to them!"

"Yeah, but they haven't got us, have they? When you thought you were saving us tonight, you were actually destroying us... destroying me. So I'm gone. Right after I've had it out with a mutual friend of ours eh?"

My blood runs cold. Because I can read the absolute deadly seriousness in his eyes. "No! Phil, please, not Jack! Stay away from him!"

Accusation flares in his face. "Oh, so you're protecting him now?"

"I'm trying to protect you! Why can't you see that, you stupid, stupid man? He threatened me Phil, alright? They found us. Found out you were alive and walking around. John came to warn me. Put his hands around my throat... he threatened me. He threatened you and with that, he threatened your baby, our kids! He meant it Phil... I was almost blacking out and I knew he meant it. They was going to steal you away from your own children, from me. I hate the bastard!"

"Yeah?" he hisses. "You've got a bloody funny way of showing it!"

"Yes, I know! So why can't you... take it out on me instead? Why can't that just be enough?"

He narrows his eyes, looking at me like I'm crazy. "Why should you take all that? Whatever I think of you, and believe me, that ain't much right now; it isn't just you is it? He made this happen to us... because you say he left you with no choice right? He forced it on you. He forced himself on you. And I'm going to kill him for that. I'm going to tear the lowlife scum into pieces!"

"Of course you are Phil! And what if he gets in there first eh? He knows we're here, tearing strips out of each other because you hate me and I love you! If you don't... then he's going to know you're coming and you'll be dead long before New Year - and I'm still never going to be clean again!"

"Oh what?" he thunders. "So you want me to stay away to make Jack worth your while?"

"I want you to stay away so I don't have to bury you, you selfish bastard! You can't leave me with that guilt on top of everything else Phillip... you can't. I... We need you!"

"Yeah? Well, maybe this is what I need."

And that's it. He shoves past me, heading straight for the door.

"Phil, no!"

I race after him, not knowing whether the door closes or not. I don't care. I just keep going, knowing that I just can't let him out of my sight.

"Go home April!"

"What, not knowing if I'll ever see you alive again?"

"I don't see what that matters to you anymore."

"I love you!" I scream, choking on my pulsing tears. "I'm carrying your child right now for God's sake!"

And for some reason, it's that that makes him slow up, rounding on me and scrutinising me with a cold amazement in his narrow eyes. "Yeah. Yeah you are. And right up until the second I saw you in that fuckin' club tonight, I really thought that meant something to you, something special."

"It does... oh God, it means everything."

He smiles weakly and I almost convulse because I just know he doesn't mean it. "Yeah? Then you best thank the poor little bastard, because they're the only thing that's stopped me really hurting you. You, April! And I never wanted to hurt you... this is what you've made me into..."

And he keeps walking, ignoring me beside him for an agonising minute,everything's just a flurry around us - the club getting closer and closer...

Then, suddenly, with the most sickening lurch of my stomach, I realise it's stood in front of us, taunting us. There's a madness in Phils' eyes that says he's definitely taking up the invitation it throws out. And I'll do anything to keep him from going in there.

"Do it." I say bravely. He looks at me like I'm even more ludicrous. "I mean it. Hit me... punch me, whatever - it doesn't matter anymore. Do anything you want - just stay away from Jack!"

"You're unbelievable." he sneers. "You selfish bitch! You know I could... You know I would... if it weren't for the baby! But you don't even care about that do you?"

"What? Of course I do!"

"Then how come you're giving me the go-ahead?"

"Because you won't get near Jack, Phil. He's watching us, and you'll pay if you so much as try. I know it, you know it. And I can't let our children grow up without you!"

"So what?" he demands viciously. "I kill him, I kill you, I kill it? Nah. This isn't the kids fault. You might well have been waiting for the chance to tell me what a lousy husband I've been to you April, but I'm not giving my kids the chance to say Daddy failed them. Because I'm not going to. Now get out my way..."


Punk P.O.V.

There isn't much April can do to keep me back, and I find myself surrounded by the walls of the club, twice as stifling as it seemed to be when I left it. But I suppose then I was dazed, reeling. Now I'm just damn angry, and that's a definite emotion that can't be kept back. I look around the writhing crowd, trying to figure out the quickest way to get through them all and down to the office without being noticed. But as I crane my neck, Amy rushes to the nearest end of the bar, having caught sight of me.

"Phil!"

Reluctantly, I abandon my occupation and shove my way roughly through the crowd surrounding the bar, suddenly feeling a need to talk to her. I lean against the bar, smiling weakly as I lace my hands together on the top.

"Alright?"

"Well... that's what I was about to ask you. I couldn't help but hear... earlier... and your wife... she seemed really upset..."

I force away her words. "Did you get the barrel changed? Sorry, I didn't mean to run out on you like that, it was just-"

"Phil?" she presses, raising an eyebrow as she recognises I'm skirting. "April? Is she alright?"

I spit out a bitter laugh, lifting my head to look Amy in the eye and just come straight out with it. "Did Jack ask you to get me here earlier, Amy?"

She blinks. "What? No! What are you talking about?"

I bow my head again, staring at the bartop and somehow finding it hard to believe her. That in itself bloody hurts. How can I, as just one guy, be so damn unlucky as to be in the place at the time?

"I caught your boss fucking my wife." I tell her bluntly, and she flinches.

"What? Jack... Jack & April? No, I don't believe it! She wouldn't."

"Well, she did. Suppose I should think myself lucky she chased after me right? But... I just wanna kill him Amy."

And I hate that sympathy sweeps over her face as my voice sways with the threat of tears. Just what I need - pity. I wipe at my eyes furiously, forcing in a deep breath. "Is he still in the office?"

She nods dumbly. "Well I didn't even know he was here in the first place did I? I suppose he must be."

"Right..."

As I straighten up, she lurches to grab my hand - to stop me going and stirring up trouble I guess. "Phil-"

I turn back and speak gently, pleading with her almost as I squeeze her hand back, almost by instinct, just grateful for someone's touch.

"I'm asking nicely, Amy. Just let me go and... stay away from the office yeah?"

She sighs, defeated as she draws back, releasing my hand. "Alright." she agrees, raising her palms. "I never saw you..."

And she moves away and goes to serve at the other end of the bar. I turn to my side and find April stood beside me, her breathing rapid and her face flushed like it's taken all her remaining energy to fight through these crowds and find me before it's too late. Her eyes are alive with fright and the way they're darting, she's questioning me without words.

"Save it." I sneer, pushing my way through and crashing through the door to the corridor.

I can hear the frantic noise of Aprils shoes on the sticky floor as still she tails me. "Phillip! For God's sake, just think what you're doing will you? Think what he can do to you! This is why we're in this fuckin' mess... you have to leave well alone or... please!"

Through all her desperate pleading, I don't think she realises she's followed me right into the office. They say you should never return to the scene of a crime, and by the look of disgust, of terror on her face, I'd say April understands that pretty well. But there's something else to hold her attention, to steal all the will from inside of her. Me, I'm buzzing, the worst kind of buzz. The kind that'll make you sick until you act on it, until you go crazy.

And believe me, I will, because just the sight of Jack, fly presumably fastened by now, sat so casually behind his desk, the anger really is exploding. I'm forcing it down, because I can feel April pressing her shaking hand anxiously into my shoulder, not quite knowing whether she dare touch me or not.

"Phillip!" Jack says brightly, grinning that callous smile as he lifts his head, looking like he expected me.

Oh, I can definitely believe it, because as he's sat there's, he's wiping down a very bulky looking gun. The shine on it is impressive, in fact it's hurting my eyes. But I suppose what's even more impressive is that's the bastard thing that was no doubt intended for me come New Year.

I think about what he's left me in withdrawing such a fate. And I can only think one thing. Bring it on.

"Well... you did it." I spit. "Congratulations... what's it feel like to be such a fuckin' success?"

He smirks, throwing down the cloth and lazily toying with the gun. He thinks he's unnerving me, his small eyes gauging every second of my reaction, but he's getting nothing from me. Nothing else.

"Good, since you ask. Really good."

"Come on then..."

He purses his lips, pretending to look perplexed. "Come on what?"

"Don't piss me about. You've taken everything from me Jack. I know you know that and I know you're loving it. So why don't you just go the whole way? Like you planned."

He straightens up, grinning wildly. "This feels just like Christmas, this does. But come on Phillip, spell it out to an old man, won't you? What exactly are you saying?"

I speak steadily. "Kill me anyway. Make the... uh... year go out with a bang."

April winces behind me in terror and Jack glances down at the surface of his desk in amusement. I count away the seconds, feeling myself get more and more wound up.

"Well c'mon!" I yell. "It's obvious you've been waiting for me and here I am! Not lost your bottle have you, Jack?"

"My God. You want me to do it..."

April steps around me. I want to pull her back, tell her to get out, but before I can muster the words, she's shielding me, like I'm going to be grateful. "We had a deal, Jack..."

He nods. "We did, I know. But it seems your husband here isn't happy with the terms of the, er... transaction. So..." He lifts the gun and I'm stood there, glaring at him, wishing I had it in me to be frightened. But I'm not. I'm just waiting to be put out of my misery.

April, on the other hand is terrified, shaking like crazy as she steps up against me. "If you're gonna kill him, you're gonna kill me too..."

His eyes widen. He looks impressed. "And what about your precious babies April?"

And I can feel a sob tear right through her whole chest, even though she never releases it to the room as tears pour down her face. She just steels herself to nod as she says; "If I'm going to lose my husband, then my children deserve better than to live with what you forced me to put them through... so go on. Kill him... Kill me... Kill all of us... show us what a big man you are."

I can't help but add in a mutter; "Sure you'll make someone, somewhere who cares about you so proud..."

His lips set in a furious line as he slides his finger in threateningly against the trigger. I don't even flinch. Because his composure shatters as he bows his head, lowering the gun, laughing. He shakes his head in amusement and tosses the gun heavily back onto the desk.

"I never wanted to kill you Phillip. Not really. I just wanted you to know what it felt like to lose everything that ever mattered to you. And now you have and you're right - I love it. Somehow, I think I'll enjoy it a whole lot more if you're still breathing..."