What's Happening in Hyrule – The Hylian Traveler's Guide, Part One
by Allexandra Radcliffe
Y'know, I really wish people could find a time to change the time and stick with it. This whole new Daylight Savings Time thing doesn't work too well for me! Especially when I lost an hour that I could've used to play Majora's Mask! (Not that I really needed to play it any more than I did – I completed half of the game along with the entire Anju and Kafei sidequest.)
Right, um, what was I doing? Oh, yeah. 1000 hits!!! Whoo!!! I'm happy now. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, especially the people I can't reply to.
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda or Frosted Mini-Wheats. Those things are awesome for a weekend-long gaming marathon.
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The Hylian Traveler's Guide To…Ordona Province
Ordona Province is a small, peaceful place south of everything in Hyrule. Though it's technically not a part of Hyrule, the people there are still Hylian just because everyone's too lazy to remember to call them Ordonians, or whatever they'd be. Ordona Province is also known for its goats, its handcrafted wooden shields, and the mayor, Bo, who once won a sumo wrestling contest against a Goron elder.
Interview With The Mayor
When we reached Ordon Village, the town was nearly empty. According to the mayor, four children, including his daughter, had gone missing. A ranch hand had also disappeared, apparently while searching for the children. A while later, the town's swordsman left for Castle Town. All the mayor had to say on the recent disappearances was this:
"It kinda makes me think that Fado's right, about that dark god he's always ranting about."
Naturally, we went off in search of Fado to find out if this was some sort of local legend.
Interview With Fado
We found Fado on top of the barn, apparently hiding from the goats as they rampaged around their enclosure. We managed to join him on the barn and asked him several questions concerning this 'dark god', to which he replied enthusiastically.
"See, I was reading this story about a world where a dark god decided to wreak havoc and be evil and such. So he created a mask that came into the possession of someone with an evil heart, and eventually the world was destroyed when the person called the moon to come down and obliterate everything. Oh, and then there's the aliens who might come and take me and the goats away in a flying ball of light."
After this incredible story, he proceeded to tell us that 'Link' would save us all. When we asked who this Link was, we found that he is the ranch hand who disappeared along with the children. Fado continued on to tell us why Link would save us, along with a long list of hero characteristics that Link possesses.
In Conclusion
Ordon Village is a nice, quiet place to go if you like strange, apocalyptic legends, crazy people, and homicidal goats. It's rather like Castle Town in a way, but you get livestock as an added bonus.
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Short, a little random, and most likely a rehash of other stuff from earlier, I know. If you don't like it, trust me when I say the next chapter'll be better.
