Chapter 8: Bleeding Point

By the guidance of Riku, the two reached a commendable hillside away from the hospital's coherent view, seating themselves on the snug, wheat-colored, snow-capped grass.

It didn't feel so much a cushion but more like a frozen pile of needles—for Riku had been sitting longer than he needed to.

Kairi was at least a foot apart from where Riku sat, hugging her legs and letting the frigid wind cool her sweating body. It was colder than usual, maybe twenty or so degrees. She didn't let the temperature get to her as she was now blushing, casting shy glances at Riku. He hadn't noticed this, staring up into the ivory sky that valued to a darkening blue in the horizon, the wind causing his hair to hover just above his broad shoulders.

Why wasn't he saying anything? Why wasn't she? It turned out that tedious embarrassment beat them to this hill.

What kind of love could there be from a guy like him—timid at times, bold at others, always willing to protect her, always wanting a second chance when Sora would win every time? That was weird to her, hard to be pleased with. Riku wasn't like Sora, and when he said he loved her she. . .she now laughed sadly.

Riku turned to her, uneasy, wondering if he was at fault. "W-What's wrong?"

Kairi blushed harder, tears accumulating into her eyes. "I. . ." She choked on this sentence, curling her lips together and shaking her head.

She knew he wasn't buying it. She knew he'd approach her tenderly, taking his hand on some part of her face to make her meet those eyes she hated, hated only because she still loved Sora's madly, intensely. That was exactly what Riku did, only he added one thing: kissing her cheek.

Kairi was ready to slap him through angry tears, but found kindness in his lips, a like softness to Sora's, but this time didn't compare. Instead, she let herself go from him and buried her face in her hands. She reddened more than ever, confused by the complexity in her emotions.

Riku turned his attention away from her for moments only to run a hand over parts of his body that temporarily heated up and drowned in pain. He shot a hand to his throbbing head, wincing, the wind kicking up and slowly healing it. His abnormal heartbeat steadied a bit of his feverish embarrassment from kissing her, the first he'd ever done on his own, the first he'd ever potentially had.

Turning back to each other simultaneously, she broke the gaze as she blinked some more tears down her face, but just as fast held it again, Riku never leaving it for an instant. She averted her gaze, unknowing Riku scooting close to her as she rose her voice just above a whisper, "You never meant it. . ."

"How could you prove that?" he asked realistically. "You don't know what you just said."

"Don't I?" She couldn't bring herself to glare at him—her eyes were to heavy for that. "Easy for you to say."

"Hear me out." He took a dying, shallow breath. "I do love you, Kairi. I love-."

"Yourself," she finished shakily. "Not me."

"Why aren't you convinced?" he asked, keeping his anger below the mark.

She didn't know how to answer that. If she answered Sora, then he'd probably yell at her—for, truthfully, that wasn't the reason for her inconsideration. She just wasn't; that was her explanation—the kind she wanted Riku to take.

"I'm not convinced because. . .I can just comprehend that you'll break my heart like Sora did. Can't you just accept that?"

"Please. What an excuse." He turned his gaze upward as he felt her close to glaring at him. "Am I really that much like Sora?"

He heard silence, but knew she was slowly, reluctantly shaking her head. He turned to her suddenly, a dash of serenity in his eyes, and rolled himself even closer to her, crawling his body between her legs, interlocking his hands over hers. Kairi's breath shuddered, for she knew he wanted to kiss her again.

'Not this again, Riku. . .' her mind begged as she shut her eyes tight.

Justifying the fact that she'd try and break away, Riku stopped a moment, then said just between a natural tone and a whisper, "At least give me a chance. . .to express how I feel." He met her eyes and hers practically melted. "If I can't do that, then feel free to throw me away. But I promise: I'll do all I can to-."

She knew she just had to do it. She knew Riku wouldn't allow her space until she kissed him once—so she thought. She tilted her neck forward and pressed her lips into his, cutting his words off. Holding her neck there for a few seconds as it strained, Riku caressed her head and allowed her to lean back. Her head landed loosely onto the grass, the cold of white and the itch of the plant against her ears.

A large percent of her wanted to discover a new taste of someone's lips.

Kairi had been kissed many times before, but the one she gave Riku felt as new and real as her very first kiss. There was a spark of difference in Riku's lips that outlawed Sora's—but once again, she did not compare.

Riku guided a hand through her long, sleek, semi-damp hair, another over her gentle face to brush the remaining tears away. Kairi pushed her legs together, which hugged against Riku's waist, holding him in place for more. She kissed him deeper, increasing their passion and warmth. Riku began to feel the rhythm of it and started kissing her back. Diving her tongue into the middle of his lips, Kairi pushed Riku's mouth open more to catch his tongue. With Riku's fist experience with a tongue kiss, he moved his tongue around frantically until he felt hers, moaning a bit inside her mouth.

After a while, he seemed to get the hang of the exchange of taste that sweetened against his lips, hovering his body completely atop of hers and pushing his tongue in to lick the farthest part of her mouth. Her moan was slurred and loud, but pleasurable. He, too, moaned a little more when she gave him rapid licks on the insides of his cheeks with the tip of her tongue. They were panting inside each other, heating up insanely from this, the cold doing little to help.

Riku about had enough, but he didn't want to stop. He leaned back a little, urging himself to end it, but he figured it could last just for another few moments.

The white in the sky dimmed fairly quickly, and light snow began to dance through the air. The color of the sky was a warm delicacy of grey mixed with valued shades of blue, dimming the light above as the hour became late. The thin snowflakes landed slowly and softly against Kairi's pink cheeks just below her eyes, melting on contact. As Riku opened his eyes slightly, ready to stop, he immediately chanced that those snowflakes were tears, since they ran down her cheek, and ended the kiss quickly.

"Are you okay?" he asked urgently, looking down and examining her face.

Slowly opening her eyes, she nodded.

"Good," he said simply, breaking off from atop her.

Kairi sat up, her elbows leaning against the grass to support her position, and looked up at him, a faint smile on her face, the cold nipping her cheeks pinker. Riku, on the contrary, was panting roughly, closing a trembling fist and resting it near his face so that his knuckles were touching his lips.

"Whoa. . ." he whispered to himself, closing his eyes for a moment to find out if he'd been dreaming.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Kairi asked after altering her lips into a straight line.

He blinked at her, about to say something, but she continued.

"If all you wanted me to do was to kiss you, then I can leave, right? Have my own space? I mean, I'm better now, and, supposedly, you are, too."

"Actually. . ." Riku began candidly, "that isn't all."

"Why not?" she said forcefully, scowling as he turned a shy face away. "What else do you want?"

"Don't say it like that. 'What else do you want?'' he rose his voice a few octaves as he mimicked hers. He locked eyes with her tensely. "Why not this: What else do you think you should be giving?"

She lifted an eyebrow in confusion. "To. . .?"

He glowered harder at her.

She smiled to herself rhetorically. "Oh. You. . .right."

"And?" He was growing restless.

She turned to him suddenly. "Give me a hint."

Riku groaned, sliding his hand down his face.

"What?" she demanded, folding her arms across her chest.

He gave her tired, annoyed eyes. "I might as well just tell you. . ."

She shifted her position uncomfortably but nodded otherwise.

With his eyes facing the ground for several moments, Riku gave a sigh that faded into the wind. He scrunched his eyes shut, his eyebrow twitching in agitation. Kairi touched his hand and Riku's cheeks glowed, his eyes blinking back into reality. He set his other hand over hers, stroking the back of her hand tenderly, and mustered sternly, looking into her eyes, "Tell me that you love me. And mean it."

All she could do was gasp quietly, then falling absolutely still. Snow continued to touch her face, her redness continually causing the snowflakes to melt quickly. She released her hand from his, holding his gaze unresponsively.

'What. . .should I. . .say to him?'

'She's fallen out of love with Sora…she just can't accept it. Dammit, why can't her heart decide what's right for her?' he thought after several moments in time.

"Kairi, it's been over five minutes. What's your answer?" he asked, high-hoped.

Kairi hid her face near the ground, her fingers curled into tight fists that pulled on the delicate grass and crunched the snow. She bit her lip to try and get her tears to well back down, but it wasn't working as salt water coasted down her cheeks. She held back her sniffles, which hurt her nose, especially from the cold. It was obvious that Riku knew because he sighed and instinctively smelled her tears again. He tried to pull her close but she tore away as she felt his hand draping over her shoulder. She heaved and she looked at him with soggy, tired eyes.

"Why do you love me, Riku? All the times. . .through the steps we took, they were with me and Sora, and you and Sora. Never you and me." She took a breath, "I can't find anything within my heart that tells me that I'm out of love with Sora. And if I am, then. . .I just am!"

"And I don't know if you are, but all I know is that you should be."

She inhaled, more tears falling down her cheeks.

"And why?" he said quickly, "It's because. . .you saw him betray you. You know if he really loved you still, he would've backed down. And if you'd get that back into your head, you'd realize it's why you should be out of love with Sora."

She knew, or thought, any excuse would result in him yelling. So she piped up loosely, "Then, what's the reason that I should love you?"

He shook his head, smiling cockily. "I really don't have a reason. And if I did, it would be unfair. You have to find the answer yourself." Riku then cringed, clutching at the fabric of his shirt at his chest and coughed roughly.

"Riku. . ." she muttered, concerned.

"Heh. . .I think it's time you brought me back. . .to that place I long to be released from." He gave her a weak smile, standing up shakily.

Once back in the room, Riku sat on his bed, Kairi in the chair. They stared at their own legs, avoiding each others' gaze. Before long, Kairi said gently, "I'll give you my answer, um, soon, Riku. I-I promise. . ."

He was looking at her, and when she looked up at him she blushed, and he said casually, "Okay."

She looked uneasy. "Just 'okay'?"

"Yeah. . ." Riku shrugged. "What of it?"

"I. . ." She thought she was about to say something outrageous, so she shook her head. "I think I'll be going then, Riku."

"See you later, then." He smiled at her just slightly.

"See you. . .soon, 'kay?"

"Yeah, sure."

As she turned to leave, she stopped, whirled her head back around to him, bent down, about to kiss him, but stopped regretfully. But Riku took her offer and grabbed her arm before she broke away, pulling her down and locking his lips with hers. Almost quickly, Kairi broke off and stared at him with dazed eyes. She backed up slowly, releasing her wrist, waved to him good-bye, and left for real.

Almost feeling stupid for what he did, he mentally slapped himself. Then he sighed, resting his body along the bed, looking up into the ceiling. 'Why do I always hate when she's gone?' Riku thought, then mentally slapped himself again because it was obvious. Well, besides the fact it was because he loved her, he just always wanted her there when he felt lonely, which was slightly often.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Please. . .There has to be some way. . ."

Naminé had ripped and burned the pages she drew of her and Sora doing that, which was part of the cause for Sora to be so ideal about it. She called Sora to try and postpone it or, even better, not do it at all, trying to convince Sora contradictively that it just wasn't time, but the spell she'd brought couldn't rupture that way.

She wanted to cry, to do anything to get Sora to realize she wasn't ready. Why was being drunk so much the cause of her to say and act in such a way to him like a petite slut or something?

What could stop this? Maybe staying under the covers would work. . .Hiding beneath them, she listened to her shaking breath. She decided she'd never come out.

When Naminé heard the slight ping of the doorbell, she knew it couldn't go unanswered, no matter how much she begged it to. She withdrew the covers and reluctantly headed for the door. She extended a pale hand for it, pulling it open and seeing Sora smiling down on her; he wore black pants and shoes but no shirt under his handsome leather jacket.

"Hey, Nam," he greeted, awfully ready to come inside.

"Hi," she muttered, pulling back her smile. "Come in, please. . ."

When she let him in, shutting out the blizzard, she lingered there for a moment. One child later, she knew she'd regret it. . .

"You look sexy," he said loosely to her.

She only smiled halfheartedly, but blushed deeply; she was only dressed in a pink sweater and black pants, but his seductive demeanor she'd put him in made him say such a thing.

Not forgetting Sora was behind her, she told him, turning, "Sit anywhere you'd like."

As he did on the couch, he began to peel the jacket back over his shoulder, but the girl shakily inquired, "Warm up first, Sora."

"Oh, here's now I'll warm up. . ." He stood, taking a hand along her waist, the other on her bottom and pulled her in, kissing her, tonguing her.

Naminé moaned, uncomfortable by his touchings, and quickly drew back her lips, trying to glare but could only stagger.

"Oh, I'm rude," apologized Sora, making Naminé blush. "Are you ready, Naminé?"

Screaming in her head no, she replied with the quickest of smiles, "Yes." To get this done and over with, since I can't find the way to stop him. . .

After about ten minutes, she and Sora were kissing on Naminé's room floor, Sora doing much of the touching, Naminé moaning a bit too much. She was down to her bra and underwear in clothing, her pink sweater forgotten in a ball close to her bed, her pants tossed over a lonely chair. It hurt to be kissed all over, to taste his tongue for over ten minutes, to have his body so close to her. . .

He opened his eyes and hovered over her asking, "You okay?"

She nodded, but she was wincing under the pain she felt everywhere. He took her by the hand, laying her gently down over her bed, taking the straps of her bra and pulling them down. He reached his hand back over onto his pants and undid his belt, throwing it aside and hearing it clank against the floor. Turning back to his partner, he dove his hand down her bra and felt her chest incessantly. She wanted to scream but moaned loudly instead, taking his hand out from her and taking the other as well. She couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted it to end, for Sora to go back to his former self.

So she cried.

And that did it.

Her tears sent a spark throughout Sora's mind, and he looked dazed for a moment, then looked around.

"Naminé. . ." Then he looked down at her and yelped lightly. "W-What the heck were we just doing?" He looked shocked and she realized she'd broken the spell about him.

"Ah. . ." She couldn't say anything and she cried more, which broke into a sob.

Sora gasped slightly, sitting her up, looking into her eyes sincerely. "Naminé. . .What did I do to make you cry?" He felt blame arouse him.

She hugged him, his bare chest in her face, explaining what she'd done to him, saying it wasn't his fault she'd cried, it was hers, and apologized for what she did. And obviously, he was quick to forgive, but made her promise not do anything like that again, and they pinkie promised.

Sora laughed a little after this was done, they were both dressed and sitting in the living room.

"All this. . .for all this. . .?" He vainly pointed to his body.

Naminé only graced a smile, although she was still crying, It felt good to cry—she'd never been able to do it before.

"Naminé, please, stop crying. . ." He murmured gently, brushing the tears away with his soft hands. He cupped his hands around her face, allowing her to look at him. "I promised I. . .wouldn't make you cry."

"I kn-know," she replied softly, sniffling. "I'll try."

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.

She hugged him and nodded, her tears subduing, glad because she'd fixed the one thing only a tear could.

-.-.-.-.-

Riku slid a pale, leathery hand down his bleached face, boring holes back into the eyes of himself in the bathroom mirror. He exhaled a ragged, effortable sigh. Breathing almost made him sick now—although, rhetorically, he was. The arsenic must've flown at such a speed that would result in a slow and painful death. Just how Ansem wanted it. But would he really want a heart surrounded with the teeth marks of arsenic if he. . .passed?

Riku hammered his right fist down into the center of the mirror, causing his hand to bounce back, and with it a thousand throbs to his cut arm. He squeezed it along with his eyes to hopefully prevent internal bleeding—which he wasn't really able to feel anyway.

Riku never cried.

Sure as hell wasn't about to start.

If this was Sora—yeah, pretty sure he'd be bawling until his tears ran down the shower drain. Things hit that boy at a more sensetively-emotional level than it did with this one. This must be the punishment for having kissing Kairi. Twice.

At that thought, he grew slightly red in his face. Sure, it was a blast to have done it, but he felt that something was pulling her back from the doors of reality. And that something, he figured, was Sora.

What Riku really wanted was to talk to Sora about her. Maybe then some of the guilt—or whatever other emotions swam in between—would disappear just as his heart was in the middle of doing.

'Is he still on hold?' Riku wondered as he extended bleached hand for it, a slight sting forming around the pads of his fingers as he gripped its sides. He slowly held it up to his ear.

"Sora?"

That was what Riku was about to say. But Kairi beat him to it.

"Hey, Kai," answered Sora somewhat shakily.

"I thought you stopped shortening my name," Kairi clarified tonelessly.

"Actually, I'm still pretty used to it."

Riku couldn't dare speak. He hoped his labored breathing session would hold back long enough to hide the three-way.

"So, what's up?" Sora asked calmly.

"How 'bout you explain to me your current relationship status," Kairi said.

"Status? You mean, me and. . ." He trailed off on purpose. For the sake of Kairi's composure. "It's. . .fine. . ." Sora gulped quietly, feeling Kairi's narrowed, dark expression too ugly for her pretty face from the other line. "Kairi, please listen to. . ."

What halted Sora's speech was Kairi's choked-up, stifled sobs forcing their way into Sora's ears.

Riku bit his lip and scrunched his eyes shut at the burdening sound.

"See, there you go. . .!" Kairi tried to shout through the breaks in her voice. "Calling me by my name. . .You don't care anymore. You want my love to erase from you!"

"But Kai—."

"I love you, Sora. Still! You should know how much I've loved you and always will!"

"Kairi, you may not see it, but I do care. I care enough to be honest with you by saying. . .I've moved on. I'm sorry, but I. . .I don't love you anymore." He exhaled lightly. ". . .Kairi?"

Kairi stopped sobbing, but tears still poured from her eyes. She shook her head in disbelief and slowly, with a series of fumbling clicks, Kairi had hung up. Riku heard Sora sigh somewhat angrily and ended his call. Riku, being the last one on the break-up ride, couldn't believe what went on and dropped the phone from his hand. He didn't pick it up.

Instead, his head ached. His chest burned. His skin stung. He coughed, hardly exhaling the inky blood into his hand. His breath was becoming labored again, but he chose to fight it.

How could Sora just push Kairi to the curb like that? Her love for Sora was blinding her—from loving Riku.

to be continued