Chapter 8
Rescue Fails and Birthday Presents

Dib slumped into his house completely exhausted. They'd gone to his old home in Detroit that day and had found nothing; absolutely nothing to give them any clue as to how they were suppose to find Lilo. What was worse was that when they got to Zim's old base, it had been bulldozed over till there was nothing left but an empty lot. Not even the underground laboratory was still there. According to Jumba's echo detectors, the whole structure had been caved in sometime ago. And if that weren't enough they'd somehow triggered the old defense system (surprise it still worked when everything else was blown to pieces). They'd run away with minor casualties though Nani had tripped sometime during the chaos and broke her arm. If it hadn't been for Stitch they wouldn't have gotten out of there alive or at least still in single pieces.

They limped home in defeat, nursing their various wounds during the ride back. Stitch piloted the ship since he was the only one without any casualties (well that was Mr. Indestructible for ya) while Jumba tended to Nani's broken arm and Dib's various burns and cuts. The doctor himself suffered with minor cuts and bruises but was otherwise unhurt. Dib noticed he was surprisingly tough for a scientist. His skin was nearly as thick as a rhino's but flexible as a seal's.

"If I ever see that little green monster I'm gunna tear his eyes out for this." Nani promised to the air as Jumba tenderly wrapped it with bandages and placed her arm in a sling. Dib was a little less willing to let the doctor examine him. He still had trouble with trusting interspecies but hey if Nani was all right with it, he guessed he could too.

"Hmm. You are not as puny as you seem, Dib neighbor." The doctor noted as he examined a nasty chemical burn on his back. "I expected you to be less lithe. But you are surprisingly agile when danger is afoot. Do you do track?"

"No but I do have to run pretty fast when I'm investigating paranoia suspects. And when my sister gets mad, it's always a good idea to know where the alternative escape routes are."

"You are frightened of little sister?" Dib could hear the surprise in his voice as Jumba wiped cool cream on Dib's burning shoulder blade providing him with instant relief. "It is strange. She is much shorter than you."

Dib chuckled slightly. "Sure doesn't mean she's helpless. She can be pretty scary sometimes. One time I gave her pig taste buds. For three months strait she couldn't taste anything but ham despite what she ate: pizza, ice cream, cereal, it all tasted like a pig to her. The only thing that tasted normal were hotdogs. Hot dogs are made of pigs so that made sense. Three months strait on a diet of nothing but hotdogs. Man I've never felt so bad about anything in my life."

"Might I ask why you gave her pig taste?"

"Well… I had these spell drives and there was one that still had a spell left on it. I wanted to see what the spell would do so I tested it out on my sister before I tried it on myself. All I can say is that it was a really bad idea and I am definitely not going to do it again."

There was a moment of silence and then Jumba laughed startling Dib. "Ha ha ha. That is a perfectly evil thing to do to younger sister. Though I am surprised that you cannot deny that sister might've deserved it, even a little bit?"

"Of course not… well maybe a little. After all there were all those times when she never came to rescue me when I was in trouble."

"I do not know Gaz very well." Jumba said wrapping a bandage over the wound. "But she is not too concerned of ohana, is she?"

Jumba's words hit a place in Dib's being that had never been touched before. It struck hardest coming from him most of all. Jumba wasn't related to any of the people he lived with, but he had played the role of Lilo's loving uncle better than Gaz played as his sister or Dr. Membrane did as their father.

"No, she doesn't." Dib said, answering his question after a slight pause. "Jumba?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you stay with Lilo and Nani? Why didn't you go back and live in your great big lab in Turo?"

Jumba seemed to do a double take as if it had been the last thing he'd expected the boy to say. "That is very interesting question to be asking me." Then he sighed from behind the boy. "It is because I lived with them for three years prior and leaving them was too difficult. Lilo, Nani, Pleakly, and even the 626 experiments mean very much to Jumba. It is difficult to describe. I could come back to it whenever I wanted, but while I was gone, ohana would still be there changing and evolving without Jumba. Ohana always comes first in our family. Big laboratory wasn't all too important anyways."

Dib studied the floor with detached interest. After a moment's pause he said quietly. "My dad wouldn't have chosen family."

He felt Jumba halt briefly behind him and had the slight feeling that for a moment the doctor was going to argue with him, but he didn't. His silence spoke of unwanted truths he could never deny. Sighing he turned back to the wounds, submerging himself in his work. After a while he patted Dib on the back and proclaimed he was done at last.

Relieved to be free of the alien's examination, he threw his shirt over his shoulders before instantly regretting the hasty move, which only enflamed the burn once more. They arrived in Kauai sometime after midnight and dropped Dib off at his house before continuing the trek back to the beach house that was merely a few yards away.

Dib dragged his tired aching body through the house and up the stairs to his room. His sister was just coming out of the bathroom, submerged, as usual, in a video game. Her eyes raised to look at him briefly before turning back to her Game Slave II. "You look like a wreck. What in holly vampire piggies have you been doing? Oh wait—," she announced holding up a hand to him before he could answer. "You know what? I don't care."

Of course not, he thought going to his room without another word. He fell into his bed and closed his eyes, neglecting to change into his pajamas or even take off his glasses. He was too tired to care about the details and fell into instant sleep. It seemed like moments later when he was awoken by a flashing coming from his computer. That's strange he thought he'd turned it off before he'd gone out that day.

Reluctantly he crawled out of bed and went to shut the screen off. He was surprised to see that the flashing hadn't been from his computer but a box with a bright blue screen on the top like an electronic nametag flashing the words "OPEN ME!" in big yellow words. There was a button on the side of it wher he assumed he would have to press if he wanted to open the container.

Hesitantly, he pushed it.

The lid burst opened and confetti exploded from within along with a loud obnoxious jingle that reminded Dib of clowns and birthday parties. A large television screen lifted up from the box and the music stopped as it flipped on lighting up a dark figure Dib had seen far too many times when he least wished for it.

"Zim!"

The green alien smiled unpleasantly at his old foe.

"Hello, Dib." The purr in his voice was sickening. Dib wished he could jump into the screen and slap that gloating smirk off his face. "Even if you have moved halfway across the world I've still been able to locate you. Which just come to show you how much superior my species is compared to you pigs monkeys."

"What have you done with Lilo, you jerk?"

"In case you didn't know, this is a recording, so any question you have will have to wait until after you've come to my base. AND YOU WILL COME because I have your girlfriend here. And if you don't want any HORRIBLE experiments to be done on her, you'd better hurry up."

"Human experiments on Lilo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Oh yes, Dib. I will put her in a time field and fast-forward and rewind her like a bad movie—the same way I use to do with you. —cough!

"NO! NOT THE TIME FIELD!"

"YES! THE TIME FIELD! So get over here so I can destroy you. And you better do it quick before I make her watch BARNEY EPISODES… IN GERMAN!"

"NO! NOT BARNEY EPISODES IN GERMAN!"

"YES! BARNEY EPISODES IN GERMAN! And if I smell ANY of those 626 experiments with you or that idiot scientist Jookiba, I'll attach hideous spiked wings on her back or put an extra pair of ears on her forehead or turn her into… AN EMO."

"NO—wait. Is that it?"

"So hurry up, Dib. She's really starting to annoy me. Here are the coordinates to my spaceship. We're in space so get a spaceship or something and meet me here. Oh and GIR wanted me to tell you he says 'hi'."

A card popped out of a slot with the area code he would need to find Zim's ship. Dib took it reading it over carefully incase he lost it by accident.

"Oh hey, Dib." Zim said just a little too cheerfully. "This message is going to self destruct in ten seconds so if I were you I'd take cover or something before it destroys your room. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Dib screamed seeing little numbers counting down to the explosion. He grabbed the box and tossed it out his window before he remembered that he'd shut it when he left. The glass shattered and the box exploded upon impact with the ground, leaving a crater the size of a car on his lawn directly below the front door. They'd have to get a plank of wood to cross over it if they didn't want to accidentally fall in the hole.

Dib waited tensing for the moment when his sister and father would cry out in surprise, asking to the night, "What the jalapeno was that?" After a few seconds of silence it dawned on him that they hadn't heard a thing in their deep sleep.

Looking down at the destroyed lawn and his shambled window, he wondered vaguely how he was going to explain all this to his dad.

First thing was first, he had to wake up the Pelekais and tell them he'd found a way to save Lilo. He got up starting for the door then stopped. Zim said that he was supposed to come there alone, or he'd do something horrible to Lilo. Knowing Zim it would be really nasty; I mean he threatened to turn her into… an emo! Dib shuddered at the idea. The mere suggestion was unbearable.

Perhaps though he could get Stitch and a few of the more useful experiments to help him. Surely there would be a few of them that would help them out. They owed Lilo that much for helping them find their one true place in the world. Perhaps with their talents they'd be able to even get in and get out without so much as being heard.

Just maybe, just maybe it would work.


"This is far more than just petty revenge." Jumba said when he heard of Dib's story. The whole Pelekai household was seated around the table, hot cups of coffee place in front of all of them and a large plate of donuts in the center of the table. "Zim would not go to all the trouble to kidnap little girl merely for payback to old nemesis. I sense an alternative motive for this."

"What do you mean?" Dib asked. He hadn't touched either his beverage or the sticky sweet snack.

"It is to be believing that Zim is holding Lilo hostage for all of us, but mostly for the 626 experiments." He leaned in over the table to Dib. "Tell me, did he say anything of releasing her after he has you where he wants?"

Dib thought, remembering back to when he was watching Zim's video recording. "Now that you mention it, no he didn't."

"Just as I thought."

"But why would anyone think to kidnap Lilo and not Stitch." Nani observed aloud. "I mean it makes no sense. He's the powerful one after all. And I'm surprised to think he didn't snatch Stitch while he was unconscious and at his mercy. After all, all the foes they've face before have always been after him."

"Ih." Stitch nodded to Nani's point.

"He could of at least taken Stitch as well." Pleakley said as an afterthought.

"Irkens work by surprise." Jumba informed them expertly. "They have a tendency to work in ways you would not expect. Which is why it is so unexpected. He will use little girl as threat to all of us if we do not do what he wishes. One step out of line and he will do whatever horrible things he can inflict upon her."

"It was horrible." Dib said, shivering with the memory of the alien's suggested duress. "He said he'd give her spiked wings, or ears on her forehead or turn her into… (shudder) an emo."

There were sharp gasps all around the table at the revolting idea. Pleakley choked on his coffee. Stitch let out a terrified squeak and Nani pounded on the table.

"NOT IN THIS HOUSE!" she bellowed and all of them nodded their agreement.

"We've got to save her before he can brain wash her. I'm gunna need the spaceship."

Jumba shook his head. "Ship is too big for that. Zim means for you do dock in his ship and I am certain our Bugby cannot fit in Irken craft. They are very puny species after all."

"If we had maybe just a cruiser…"

"What about the police cruiser?" Nani suggested, her face lighting up with hope.

Jumba shook his head. "Is broken and I haven't needed part to fix it. Have to order them from Galactic Internet. BLASTED PRIMITIVE EARTH PLANET!"

Dib jumped up remembering now. "Wait I have an Irken voot cruiser in my basement we could use."

Jumba looked at him as if he had celery growing from his ears. "Why did you not mention this sooner? Where in world did you get Irken voot cruiser?"

"It was from another invader but she's gone now. I've got her ship with me and we can use it to get Lilo back. It's small, fast, and I'm pretty sure it could seat five small people at the most. Typically Stitch's size."

"Oh, oh!" Stitch jumped up excitedly. "Take cousins. Take three good cousins."


"These glasses will allow you to see each other while you are invisible to Zim." Jumba announced handing out pairs of infrared goggles to the recruited rescue appointees. Earlier that morning Stitch had gone out in search of the three desired cousins that would accompany them with the mission of saving Lilo. Dib looked the creatures over and decided that they were the best they could've ever hoped for.

A large rabbit-like creature called Houdini who could make things go invisible would prove to be very useful in infiltrating the base. Sparky would provide with technical difficulties with the ship and Morpholomew had a very important role once they were behind enemy lines. They stood with them behind the light blue beach house where Dib's voot cruiser was getting a checkup by Jumba.

There were a few minor bugs the scientist needed to sort out before their mission began. "For a boy of only thirteen, you have done surprisingly good job of fixing advanced alien technology?" Jumba noted as he was putting in the final adjustments to the cruiser. "Did your father help you with this?"

"No." Dib said with a smidgen of smugness added to his voice. "He doesn't believe in aliens so I had to work out all the details by myself."

"Hmm. Well done. Perhaps you could become evil genius someday if you keep your work like this." Dib's mouth dropped and his eyes bulged in horror with the mere suggestion. Jumba laughed with the expression he'd put on the boy. "Ha ha ha. Am just kidding. Do not be looking so revolted by idea. Evil geniuses have lots of fun."

"That's because they break the law."

"Ah ah ah." The man said shaking a dismissive finger at the scowling boy. "If Jumba had not broken law, there would be no experiment Stitch or any cousins. And Dr. Jumba Jookiba will never feel bad for making Stitch even if original purposes was for unimaginable doom."

Dib had nothing to say to that, so he said nothing. Jumba had a point there. If it hadn't been for Stitch maybe Lilo wouldn't be the way she was now. She wouldn't be that bright, bubbly teen he fell for. The same girl he was going in space for as well as facing his old adversary again. He thought of how Angel and Stitch were when they were left together and wondered if maybe the two of them could ever be like that someday; so carefree and so… in love.

He'd like working as a paranormal agent with her. She sure would make it interesting, or at least more so. Some how he had the feeling that she would awaken the dormant good side of the monsters and ghosts they were faced with rather than fight them, as he was more prone to do. He wondered if after this, she would feel differently of him; maybe more of him even.

His hopes were interrupted as Jumba began mapping out their plan for when they entered Zim's base. Like a Broadway play, they all had their role to fulfill and if all went according to plan then they would escape before the Irken even realized he'd been swindled.

"Once there you will be expected to keep constant communication with one another. However do not attempt to contact anyone outside of the ship otherwise you will alert the computer of an outgoing message and give away your position."

"Yeah!" Dib said knowing all too well what it was like to have infiltrated an enemy base at last only to be detected by his own stupidity.

"Good luck to all of you." Jumba said dismissing them to bored the ship. "Remain in contact until you have cleared the atmosphere."

"We will." Dib said boarding the voot cruiser with the rest of the cousins. It was a bit of a tight squeeze because there were so many of them but with a little adjusting and they fitted nicely in the small spacecraft. The engine hummed to life and the passengers waved their goodbyes to the spectators below before zooming off and fading away in the distance.


Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it.

I was rereading what I'd already published so far and I'm a bit irked with myself for making so many mistakes. There's nothing there too big, just small little errors really like being repetative, or misspelling words, or not putting a comma in where it's needed. Even if they are petty little mistakes, it still it annoys me to think I'm that careless in my editing. I'm trying to somewhat of a writer here and I get the vibe that I should really be looking out for these kinds of things.

On another note the scene where I was trying to figure out what would be the worst thing imaginable for Zim to turn Lilo into. i came up with a few ideas.

Idea #1: A rabbit. It's kinda strange I know but it's the first thing that popped into my head at the time. Then I got to thinking you know Lilo might not feel too bad about being a rabbit. She always seems to look on the bright side of life and her family is always really supportive of her. And if being a rabbit like creature is fine with Houdini, I'm sure Lilo wouldn't have a probleme with it just as long as she was still somewhat cute.

Idea #2: A democrat. This idea struggled with me for a long time. I wasn't sure if I should use it or not. I was most certain that a democrat somewhere out there would read my story and be offended by my views. And unfortunately I happen to be a people pleaser. And since at present I only have one viewer, I have no intention of scaring he or she away with my views and happen to unintentionally loose my only reader.

Idea #3: an orthodontist: Upon further perception I realized this idea was just stupid.

Idea #4: a monster. This idea just doesn't work because Lilo is constantly exposed to the experiments of the island which are already colorful little monsters. And again i am met with the same problem I had with the rabbit. Lilo would just look on the bright side of her predicament and it might not be so bad.

Idea #5: a pigeon

Idea #6: a pig

Idea #7: an energy drink

Idea #8: a goat

Idea #9: a liberal

Idea # 10: a cheerleader

Idea #11: Obama

It was all really starting to peeve me off. In the end I finally decided on an emo because Lilo's so cheerful and carefree, it would be like some alternate dimension to see her so gloomy and depressed. But at least then Gaz would have someone in common with.

Honestly I'm not sure about my decision. Perhaps a democrat would've been better. I dunno if anyone's reading this but if you are, please, please pretty please vote on it and tell me what you think as well as how the story is so far.

Thanks a million for viewing.