Neko: Woo…chapter 8…I honestly don't know how long this will be! Wow, really has been awhile since I updated…I'm really sorry! I'll let you kill me, just let me update first ok?

Kuro: They have probably forgotten all about the kitty boys

Neko: Why are you so cruel?

Kuro: Because, that's how you made me...

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Chapter 8

Kill me, kiss me, see me?

Ritsuka had made it home, but he couldn't bring himself to go in. He looked at it like a homeless child through the window. His mother was home, making dinner or something.

He wanted his mother to be happy again, the way she was happy when Semei was alive. He wanted to be happy, like when Soubi was alive. He just wanted everything to go back to normal…What is normal? He felt so devoid of emotions, he couldn't even cry. It was as if he wasn't permitted.

He laughed at himself, he was pathetic, and Kai had it worse. Kai, he had never experienced love before, and when he was so alone…He created Sei and Rei, his alter personalities. Like him, Kai wasn't meant to exist.

He felt completely lost. He had said he couldn't love Kai, and yet every thought led him to the blue eyed boy.

Ritsuka ran into his house and stood before his mother, his face twisted in a combination of regret and determination.

"Ritsuka, are you back?" His mother asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"I'm here! You see me, I'm Ritsuka, I may not exist to you but I am! Tell me what do you see?! Have I lost my mind?" He stood there his breathing heavy, from shouting.

His mother just stood there, "NO! You're not Ritsuka. Make him come back!" She picked up a glass and through it at the wall sending shattered pieces all over, one hit Ritsuka's face.

He yelped in pain and ran out of the house, "I'm sorry I exist."

…….

Kai was sitting in the park curled up in his blanket that still had traces of Ritsuka on it.

He had cried for a few hours. He felt as if there were a hole in his heart. Ritsuka had left him. He may not have known or loved him long but, he was his first love. The only one who cared for him. The only one who cared if he was ok.

He was as Ritsuka said; a stray cat, only everyone would ignore him. All he wanted was for Ritsuka to stay with him, and he drove him away.

Kai had no one. Maybe he had no one to begin with. All he wanted was some one to see him, and take him for what he was. He wanted some one to see through Sei and Rei's personality. He was so hopelessly hopeless.

He curled around the blanket which had been given to him not even a few days ago. It felt so far away now. The light faded blue material wasn't enough to block the chill. He sighed and leaned back against the tree, falling into a cold slumber.

It was in this state he could hear his voices as if they were out of his head. It was here Sei tore down his walls. Here, he would repeat the process, and there was no way for Kai to stop it.

You should have never gotten close to him. Sei's voice was dripping with rage; you can't lose something you never had. So why are you sulking? Kai…oh woe is you! You're so very pathetic. Really, Ritsuka never cared for you, he said so himself he can't. You're just a lonely forgotten stray no one could ever love.

Inside of Kai's mind he was in a corner trying to shield himself from the mental attacks.

Sei was right…No one cares about him, no one ever will. So, who was he kidding? This is what the weak part of Kai was telling him.

He cared for me; I know it, even if it wasn't a lot! I know it. His inner fire was slowly growing.

So then, why did he leave, why did he not even give you a second glance? Sei replied curtly.

I…I don't know. It was happening again, the doubts were taking over. One doubt that Sei could exploit and he was in control.

Outwardly, Kai's eyes had opened and they looked devoid of emotions. The red fire was slowly devouring at the crisp blue like a rabid beast. He didn't have any will left, he looked like a lifeless doll that had been cracked and beaten.

A tear slid down his face and then both of Kai's wonderfully clear, unprotected eyes were engulfed in the tainted red of Sei.

"Ah…It feels so good to be in control. Now, where is that brat that you like so much Kai?" Sei's hissed and threw down Ritsuka's blanket without hesitation. He was going to find the boy that was causing him so much trouble, and he would become the dominant personality.

"How could one little mark bond two strangers?"

………..

Neko: ok…ok I know. It was short and yes, I just made a cliffy. Sorry! It's necessary though…And thank you all so much for reading. And I cannot express how much joy your reviews bring me…I really have no excuse for not updating..Just be glad I did I guess. I haven't updated my fics in sooo long. Find it in your hearts to review and stuff, even if you say you hate me for not updating in like…a lot of months…

(I think this fic will have tops, 2 more chapters so…and I need someone to maybe edit or like…yell at me for not updating…and maybe help with ideas for a sequel? So…If you want to be my editor-type person PM me or something...)