So it's my understanding that this story resembles another on here. So I took a look and there are definite similarities but the stories are going in different directions. I write these chapters when I'm on break at work. The conversations just flow out of me and then I type them up. So I in no way want the other author Kristen to feel like I am copying her in any way. Great minds just think alike and I had not read the story until it was brought to my attention in a review.
Thanks again for the reviews I take the good with the bad keeping in mind that this is only for fun.
Chapter 8
After my talk with Jim I found myself outside of her room. Surprise hit me when I stepped on the sensor and it didn't open automatically as it had since we have been on the ship. I smiled to myself. I expected her to do that just not so quickly. I pressed the bell to announce my arrival.
"Go away Spock." She yelled at the door strained.
My eyes closed at her rejection. "Nyota we need to talk." I called softly knowing she could hear me.
I could hear her feet carry her to the door then she stopped. Even with the wall between us I knew she was biting her lip and holding it between her fingers as she thought about letting me in. The door slid open and her back was to me.
I moved quickly to close the gap between us. My hands landed on her shoulders and she moved from me.
"Spock say what you have to say and go." She ordered as she turned to finally look at me.
"I regret that I did not inform you of T'Pring. I thought that since I chose to go to star fleet and father and I disagreed of the path I have taken that he would have abolished all of my Vulcan ties."
"So you forgot?!" she yelled.
"Omitted." I replied.
"Right." She answered flatly. She walked away from me and stopped again.
She turned to face me and her tears stained her beautiful brown face. I tired to not look at her attire. She stood in only panties and a tank top. I enjoyed the view from the front and the back as I always had.
"You took my choice from me. I had a right to know you were married." She cried.
"We are not married yet only promised to each other." I answered and I saw hope come to her eyes.
She placed her hand on her stomach and looked down. Looking back up at me she smiled.
"So you can stay?" she questioned.
"I have to marry T'Pring. I must my part to help my race."
With my answer sadness returned to her face.
"I knew it I knew you would hurt me. I knew I waited for it I was just hoping that it would happen or hurt so bad." She cried.
"It was not my intention to bring pain upon you." I replied somberly.
"I've loved you for what feels like forever. And if you had told me about your engagement I probably would have still been with you. I keep replaying the future I saw for us in my mind over and over. The children." She paused and put her hand on her stomach again then wiped her tears with her fingers.
"The children that we'll now never have." She continued.
"Children with a woman who is not a Vulcan would do nothing to help the race."
I saw rage cross her features. "I see a child that I have for you would not be good enough for the pure Vulcan race right. Just as you weren't good enough for them!?" she shouted. Her words stung.
"Everything! Everything you've ever told me is a lie. Who would have guessed that you would call on the human side of you to lie?"
"Nyota."
"No I told you, you don't get to call me that. The Spock I fell in love with gets to call me that. You're not him. I don't know who you are!"
"I am the same. But if it were humans would you not do all you could to help your race?"
"That's not the same. You are going out of your way to help a race who never accepted you and never will. If you fathered 1million of 2 babies they'll still never accept you. You'll always be an outcast in their society and so will your children." She cried.
"And how would a child that you and I have fare being 1/3 Vulcan. They would have no place in Vulcan society and do you really think humans would fully accept them?" I countered.
"Humans have accepted you haven't we. I even fell in love with you. And if no one accepted our child I would love our baby enough for the whole universe. I would even love them enough for you." She cried her tears seemed to have no end.
I reached for her and she pulled away again.
"I will not be gone for long." I countered as I pulled her to me softly. I needed to feel her in my arms.
She scoffed at my remark.
"Am I suppose to twiddle my thumbs while you're off giving your body to another woman?" she huffed in anger and continued.
"When you come back will it be with your pregnant wife or will you come back after she has your child?" I questioned as she pushed herself away from me.
"That would be illogical. T'Pring and the child would remain on Vulcan."
"So if you claim to be fulfilling an obligation to your ungrateful people and obligation is so important to you." She paused.
"If I told you I was pregnant with our child would you feel obligated to me? Would still marry her and fulfill your obligation or would you stay here out of the same obligation?"
"Are you pregnant Nyota?" I questioned my face beaming.
"Answer the question Spock would you stay or not? Would you fulfill your obligation to me?"
"I would indeed fulfill my obligation to you and our child." I walked to close the gap between us again.
She looked down in sadness.
"Spock did you ever really love me?" her voice cracked with tears and was almost a whisper.
"Of course." I answered.
"Do you love me still?" she questioned.
"I do." I answered.
"But the love we share is not enough to make you stay? Only the obligation of a child would force your hand?"
"Nyota now its time for you to answer my question. Are you pregnant?"
"No." she answered softly.
I stretched my hand to caress her face and she backed away again putting her hand up to block mine.
"Spock I need you to go now. I really hope you find what you're looking for." She said softly.
I closed my eyes and sighed heavily the conversation had not gone the way I intended. I feared I made the situation worse. As her tears streamed down her face I knew she could see my own pooling in my eyes threatening to over flow the banks of my eyes. I reached for her one more time and she backed away again.
"Don't. Don't do that. All I want to do right now is run into your arms and forget all of this happened but I can't. So please Spock just go." Her words were barely audible.
I turned and walked out of her door and her life. This was more pain than I was willing to deal with.
