Chapter 8 - Lord Lestrange
Andromeda did not see Rodolphus from any closer than across a table until they returned to school that year. She would give him a small smile, and he would return it. Or did for a time. As the summer went on, his eyes grew darker and his smiles less frequent. She yearned to speak to him alone; but there was nothing she could do to make that happen. He used to unload his worries onto her, and she knew him well enough to know that he was keeping everything bottled inside him. He was doing everything Falorian wished of him; whether that involved Riddle, Andromeda did not really want to know, but she would listen if Rodolphus told her.
She wrote him letters, all of which were read and approved by one of her parents before she was allowed to send them. Her Father allowed her to tell him that they were doing this, and so they were never beyond the superficial and soon they just seemed so empty.
The weather grew colder as the summer drew to a close, and Andromeda wished for nothing more than to be out of the house. In three more years she would graduate and then her mother would not be able to keep her from Rodolphus. So they had been a little indiscreet...Why did she have to be put on lockdown for it? It wasn't like they were going to dishonor their families in their letters.
Rodolphus found Andromeda on the train, sitting with her sisters. He and Rabastan moved in to sit with them, squashing a slightly perturbed Lucius Malfoy against the window. Narcissa was starting her first year at Hogwarts, and was the life of the conversation in the compartment for the ride. She would give Lucius small, shy smiles that Andromeda quickly picked up on. She knew that look too often from her own face. She tried to share a knowing glance at Rodolphus, but his face was dark and he did not seem to notice.
"Rodolphus?"
Andromeda watched him return to them at the mention of his name.
"I apologize, Narcissa, what was your question?"
"If I am bad at potions, will you help me, too?"
Rodolphus smiled for the first time all afternoon. "I doubt you will need the help, as long as you study well, and I think you should spend time with your sister before I take her away from you."
Narcissa laughed quietly and beamed at the praise.
All the while, Andromeda noticed that none of his smiles touched his eyes. Something must have been seriously wrong; he was never so solemn. It was worse to know that he would not speak of whatever was eating him here, in front of everyone. Andromeda knew she would be lucky to get it out of him when they were alone; if they ever got the chance again.
It was two weeks into the term before Rodolphus managed to get Andromeda all to himself. His heart ached with secrets that he wished to tell her. He missed their talks and small touches. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted the world to disappear, if only for a moment. Just the two of them and nothing else.
He waited for her at the top of the clock tower. He looked out over the grounds. He remembered the sunny days down by the lake; Andromeda splashing in the water and soaking her dress. He let out a true smile at the memory. It seemed that every day was grey now. He never seemed to see the sun.
The sound of footsteps signaled her arrival. He did not turn until she was close, afraid he would lose control of his emotions. He turned to see her dark curls and her concerned, soft eyes and swept her up in his arms, kissing her thoroughly. He held her against him in a desperate hug, trying to hold back the tears he both loathed and needed.
"Rodolphus? What is the matter?" she asked, her tone close to frantic. Tears welled up in her brown eyes as she took in the pain on his face. "Please, tell me."
He swallowed. Father would not want him to tell her; they were not married yet, and so she was not part of the family. He had to tell someone; and he had not been sworn to secrecy. It was not proper. To hell with it. He could not keep this inside any longer.
"Father is dying," he choked out, shaking his head with the little amount of denial he had left, "I am to take over as Lord Lestrange before the year is out. He is not expected to live long into the spring. Andy," he continued, his voice shaking with sorrow and desperation, "I'm not ready for this."
She did the only thing she could; she embraced him tightly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
He did not feel as weak with her here, holding him together.
"The healers don't know what's causing it. Rabastan doesn't know...I don't want to tell my brother that Father is dying. It feels like Mother only just died." His hands shook and he wanted to shout or to sob; but he had been taught better than that. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Slowly, he managed to breathe steadily again, though tears remained in his eyes.
"I love you, Andromeda. I— I need you. I can't do this without you."
"Oh, Rodolphus. You don't have to. I love you, and even though my Mother can keep us apart when we are not at school, I will always be there for you when you need me, even if it is only by owl. And…" her own voice shook, "I don't believe Father would deny Lord Lestrange a request. I hope you do not have to use it."
"Thank you," he all but croaked. He brought her ringed hand up to his lips and kissed her fingers gently.
Andromeda was lonely. Bella was still not speaking to her, and she could not tell Cissa the responsibility and heartache she was subject to. She would not understand. Rodolphus was gone again. As his father's condition worsened, he spent his weekends at the manor. He was learning to manage the estate to take over for Falorian. She might talk to Rabastan, but he was still in the dark about why Rodolphus was taking time away from his studies to learn the family business. He asked questions; questions that she had the answers to, and she did not want to lie to him. So she avoided him, as subtly as she was able. So, when she was not in her study groups, or talking of trivial things with her sister, she found herself alone.
She had studied for her OWLS; she knew the material backward and forward and was worried about Rodolphus. She could not study, and she could not speak to anyone who would care. She sat under a willow tree next to the lake, penning a letter to Rodolphus.
"Black!" came a familiar voice in an annoyingly friendly tone.
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly and turned to face the blonde boy who was still trying to befriend her. "Hello, Tonks. What do you want?"
He shrugged. "I thought you looked kind of down. Do you need someone to talk to?" he glanced around, mockingly wary. "Lestrange isn't around is he? I hear he can hex people with a frown."
Andromeda laughed a little. "He is not as frightening as some people think."
"I've never been at the wrong end of his wand, and neither have you, I imagine." He stopped for a moment. "I'm sorry. Some people just seem dangerous, and I worry."
"I don't mind the caution, but I would appreciate you not accusing him of things based on rumors." she smiled politely. "I suppose I could use a friend. Now that Rodolphus is of age, he has more matters to attend to outside of school. I don't get to see him often anymore, and it frustrates me. My sister hates me; and I'm afraid we will never make up."
Ted Tonks sat down by her; not so close as to incite suspicion as to his intentions, but close enough they could speak at a comfortable level.
"I'm sorry. That sounds really hard. You really are going to marry him, then?"
"I am. I do not want to break your heart, Tonks, but I will not give you false hope. I love Rodolphus and I will marry him when I am done with school. I hope that we can be friends."
"Ah! Black! If friends is what you desire, then it is a friend you shall have," he said with a genuine smile, if slightly hurt. "I still don't want to be hexed."
"I can deal with Rodolphus. He doesn't hate muggleborns, you know. Our engagement has been a tenuous one and he does not want to risk it. If my mother got wind of our friendship, she may punish me by revoking my part in the contract."
Ted looked grave. "She can do that?"
"I am not of age yet, and the contract is between my Father and Lord Lestrange. Rodolphus had to bargain with my father not to be married to Bella."
"So...It's an arranged marriage," he said with some distaste.
"Technically, yes," she replied, a little annoyed at his tone. "But I was not lying when I said I love him."
"Alright, Black. It's just strange to me," he held up his hands in surrender. "Care to enlighten me on other areas of wizarding society before I get betrothed by accident?"
She laughed and agreed.
The end of the year came and went. Rodolphus graduated with high marks, as was expected. The occasion, of course, was soured by Falorian's rapidly deteriorating condition. Rodolphus wrote her a single letter at the beginning of the summer, and then she did not hear for a few weeks.
Andy,
Father is worse than ever. I fear that it will not be long before he is gone. I am afraid I will not be able to write in the coming weeks...There are arrangements I must make; and Rabastan needs me. Please forgive me for not being there for you right now.
I love you,
Dolph
Rodolphus held his Father's hand firmly as the man spoke. His grip was feeble, and his healers knew he did not have long. Rabastan was at his side, standing with as much poise as he could manage.
"If something is in your way, Rodolphus, take care of it." Falorian told his son, his words nonspecific, but his tone implying that he meant something specific.
Rodolphus nodded gravely, but desired more clarification. "Is there something in the way, Father?"
"Cannot tell," he wheezed, coughing harshly. He spent too many moments trying to catch his breath.
"Be strong...Dolph. There are things worth fighting for. I expect you to make the right choices...Bring prestige and prosperity to this family."
"I will, Father."
"Rabastan," Falorian's voice was quieter now, straining for every word.
"I am here, Father." Rabastan's tears leaked out of his eyes.
"I expect you to follow your brother's lead. He will be Lord of the house before the night is must work together, or the house may fall."
"I will, Father. I promise. Rodolphus had always taken care of me."
Falorian smiled weakly. "He has. Rodolphus. You are ready for this. Keep your wife close; trust her most of all. Love her, boy, even when you do not feel it."
"I promise, Father." Rodolphus had tears in his own eyes as his father's voice cracked to a whisper.
"Riddle…" he rasped, "I want— " the man shuddered and wheezed, trying to catch his breath. "I want…" he coughed violently.
"I know, Father," Rodolphus said, his throat tightening. He would continue his father's political alliances, even if they were a bit odd.
Falorian looked at his eldest son with tears in his cloudy eyes. "Be careful…" his voice trailed off and his chest did not lift again.
"Father?" Rabastan choked.
Rodolphus stood, stunned. He did not feel the tears streaming down his cheeks, and he barely heard his brother's cries. They were alone. He managed to have the strength of will to put a firm hand on Rabastan's shoulder. They had no parents, no grandparents, and Rodolphus now carried the title of Lord Lestrange, and the weight of the family legacy. He would not fail them.
He could not.
Andromeda,
Gods, I miss you.
Father is dead. My letter to your father will likely arrive before this… My new title requires that I inform the aristocracy first and foremost. Tom Riddle is determined to investigate Father's death, and I do not think they will find anything that the healers did not.
I wish nothing more than to be somewhere quiet with you, away from all of this. I am afraid it is unlikely to happen until we wed.
I love you,
Lord Rodolphus Falorian Lestrange
Andromeda slid her fingers over the short letter. He had signed it formally, as was required, but the rest was anything but. It was penned with care, but dark blotches of ink that blended words together and light spots on the parchment told her that he had been crying when he wrote it. Formal at first glance, but hurting so much on the inside, and she was unable to be there for him. She held the letter to her chest and wept.
