Chapter 8
There was about five inches worth of space between us. Everything had gone to plan except now all Thirteen must be thinking about is getting out of here. Ten minutes passed and I didn't know what to say. She's here with me now, there's no escape and I don't know what to say. I didn't plan this.
The decorators name is Jessica and she doesn't know about my plan so if she catches us in here I'm going to have to tell Thirteen what I did. I don't want that to happen. Josh said he'd listen out in case that happened but he might be too into the football game he's watching on the portable TV to notice. I just really hope he's paying attention otherwise this could go badly.
I sighed. I can't just sit here any longer, I feel like I have to say something but I don't know what. I don't know her well enough but isn't that why I did this? Why I let Jodie be in charge that evening and for the days I'll be working on House's paperwork? Why I asked Josh to help me? Why I planned to get Thirteen trapped in this closet with me? I honestly don't know anymore and that scares me, because if I didn't do this to figure her out, then why did I?
"My legs hurt" I suddenly said.
I don't know how I got from 'I don't know why I did this' to 'my legs hurt' but it doesn't matter now, I started talking to her and I have to continue even if she doesn't want to.
"Mine too; I guess crouching down like this can't be good for circulation"
"Yeah" I replied lamely. Why is it so hard to talk to her? Maybe I should ask her that?
I'm an idiot
"Why is it so hard to talk to you?"
She turned to face me. She looked as confused as I did. She didn't understand what I meant and neither did I.
"I'm...sorry?"
She didn't know what to say either. I have to finish what I started.
"It's just... every time I look at you I can't seem to think, I don't know what to say or do and it's frustrating because I want to know you but I don't know how to ask you questions or how you'll you react and I don't want to wait any longer"
I was shocked. I can't believe I said that and every time I pictured this conversation in my head I never though I'd say that. I guess I've been thinking too hard and for a second I felt better that she knew, until I looked at her and I couldn't place her expression. It's like her face didn't show any emotion but I could see her thinking. I subconsciously held my breath.
"Ask your questions but if I don't want to answer, I won't"
I started breathing again.
I'm in the door. Now don't screw it up.
"What's your favourite colour and why?" I said without thinking. I know it's a stupid question but at least it's a start.
"Changes with my mood" she answered simply.
"Favourite food?"
"Changes with my mood"
Ok, now I'm not sure I'll get as far as I thought.
"Are you going to keep saying the same thing over and over?" I asked, slightly annoyed.
"My answers will change with my mood"
I glared and for the briefest second I could swear I saw her smile. She's teasing me. Although it did happen so fast that I suppose I can't be sure of that. I decided to stop thinking again and let the questions come out when they chose to.
"Do you ever smile?"
She looked at me for a second, contemplating.
"Yes" she answered, and then something clicked.
"Do you ever mean it?"
She smirked, properly surprised I though to ask.
"No, not lately" she looked like she was thinking. Then she looked confused or sad, or both.
"You okay?" She looked nervous, like she was fighting with herself.
"I don't know, I'm confused" I was about to ask why when she spoke again.
"Why do you want to know me? No one wants to know me"
I couldn't place the emotion in her eyes but I did notice her lean towards the wall more.
She wants to get out of here. I thought about giving the signal for Josh to leave before remembering that Thirteen asked a question and was therefore waiting for an answer.
"I don't know, I like you. I want to know you because... it's hard to explain. It's like I'm drawn to you and every time I look at you I can't help trying to figure out what your thinking or feeling and every time your angry or sad I want to do anything I can to make you happy again"
It was hard to even admit this to myself let alone tell her, but as I watched her reaction I didn't regret it. She looked touched and for a second I could swear she felt the same. Then she smiled. It was perfect... and then I heard the bedroom door open.
I tensed. Thirteen did too and I could tell she was panicking inside. I was too seeing as we were about to get found out and Josh obviously wasn't paying attention. Not to mention the fact that we were covered with a thin sheet of rain-proof plastic that wasn't big enough to hide both of us properly.
"We are covered with one dry cleaning bag, what if she sees me?" I whispered.
"Come here" she whispered back.
She sat down on the floor, put her legs out in front of her and pulled me into a hug, so I was now sitting on her lap with my head against her chest. I could hear her heartbeat. The closet door opened and I could hear Jess rummaging though the piles of clothes and shoes but I didn't care, because right now I felt safe and nothing else mattered except the woman holding me. She was protecting me and I couldn't help but smile. I closed my eyes and blocked out the noise Jess was making. Now I could hear nothing except that heartbeat, feel nothing but the pressure of her arms as she held me close. I concentrated on her breathing and for this one moment the world was quieter and I knew if I listened I could hear all the answers to my questions and all the reasons for my actions, in that one steady heartbeat.
